Social Commentary | Girls Chase

Social Commentary

What Power Men (Really) Have in the Dating Game

power in the dating gameWhat power do men have in dating? It may seem like women hold all the cards. Yet men have one special thing at their fingertips that women desperately crave…

Are men totally without power in the current dating game?

It could seem so to many.  Today I would like to discuss this subject while discussing what gives women that “power” and whether or not this ends up creating a skewed dating game.

Many of you will start seeing this article as some rant – but truth is, it is not. It will start of with the typical “the dating game is unfair” type of narrative – usually shared by the manosphere. However, I invite you to read the whole article, since I believe things are not as one-sided (and if you came here to get a confirmation for your flawed “the world is unfair” type of belief – you may leave disappointed).

As a matter of fact I will later in this article move on to discuss what power men actually have.

No, we are not talking about the typical “men have economical and political power” which is the argument most feminist would give.

Whether true or not (most likely some truth in it) is completely irrelevant to our discuss because whether there are more men making up the elite (political and economic) has very little impact on normal men’s dating lives.

In fact, when discussing the subject of equality (and inequalities) between the sexes, the subject is always surrounding political and economical power. Yet, we rarely see “legal” inequalities being discussed, most likely because the results of such discussion would be contrary to the current narrative (men are usually disfavoured in courts of law – especially in cases regarding parenting, etc.).

Although kind of relevant to pick up and seduction, political/economical/legal power will not be the subject of today's discussion, because it has little impact on actual dating strategies and the mating process.

Are Modern Women's Dating Standards TOO High?

women's dating standardsMany men today believe women's standards are too high. The reality is, women's standards have ALWAYS been high… or at least, women have always claimed this.

Again and again of late I've seen this argument that women's dating standards are simply too high.

That women expect too much of men, they want men who are perfect, and their standards are completely unrealistic.

Most recently, a reader commented this on my article about the source of 21st Century Western men's distinct lack of action and motivation, saying:

I dont think men dont have the drive to have sex; its just that womens standards are too high and most men dont make the cut. Most men are trying and failing to get laid, others have given up, and a small percentage is getting almost everything. We have to be realistic and acknowledge that most men are going to be average no matter what. The problem is that women have too many options and society allows them to go for the top men.

This is a common refrain from a lot of men's sites on the web.

women's dating standards“How's any guy supposed to have a shot in this day and age?”

But is it true?

Are you, indeed, condemned to suffer loneliness and deprivation, sucking up the scraps of women who fell off the tables of ALPHA MALES, those rare few men who get all the girls?

Is this simply your lot in life, assuming you're unable or unwilling to join the ranks of those few elite men?

Should One Even Bother with Dating During a Pandemic?

covid dating
This COVID pandemic has thrown a massive wrench in the dating game. In lockdown, meeting women is much harder, if not impossible. So, should you even bother right now?

Hey guys, and welcome back. I’ve recently shared a few guides and opinions on the COVID-19 pandemic and how it affects pickup and seduction.

If you'd like to catch up on those, here they are:

I know we live in frustrating times; and I will not hide it, I find these times frustrating, too. But I keep a cool head and carry on, trying to figure out ways to maintain my lifestyle.

Things will eventually get back to normal; when is the real question. I am not going to sit back and wait, though I admit, I am not as active as I usually am with my pickup and seduction hobby. So I do what I can to maintain my skills and keep some female company as I believe this to be healthy. Having girls around is healthy for my brain, especially these days when everybody seems to have lost their minds.

I know some of you are still questioning whether one should still bother with seduction at all during these times. This question is what I’ll cover in today’s post.

People Usually Choose Mates with Similar Faces

facial similarity attraction
You may have noticed, but a LOT of couples look really similar to each other, facially. Is there an element of attraction related to facial similarity?

Send this article to anyone you know who thinks "You can't get a good-looking woman unless you're genetically blessed with natural good looks yourself!" to really blow his mind.

There's an interesting phenomenon I've paid some attention to over the years: the phenomenon of romantic couples looking facially quite similar to one another.

I first started paying attention to it when I noticed how different different people's assessments are of what is attractive. There's a thread on our forum where guys post pictures of their dream lays... any man who goes through that list is going to see some women he agrees with, and some women he says, "What? That's your dream shag?!"

Seriously, you should scroll through that list... you'll be surprised. Here's just a sample of what different men from the Boards rate as their dream girls to go to bed with:

facial similarity attraction
The dream lays of various different guys. Which ones are your dream lays?

What I began to notice over the years was oftentimes when a guy told me some girl was really hot, and I looked at her and thought, "Whoa... that girl is not really attractive at all," I could take a look at the girl, then take a look at the guy, and I'd discover they actually had a great deal of facial similarity. Similar eyes, similar nose, similar mouth, similar jawline.

And it would click: "Ahhhh... that's why he likes her. She looks like him."

When I'd look at celebrities, and scratch my head over why a wealthy, famous guy with his pick of nearly any woman he wants would choose as his wife some of the total dogs a lot of male celebrities seem to pick (in my tastes), I'd realize those dogs were, in fact, very facially similar to the male partner himself.

At the same time, from time to time, I'll notice couples whose faces are almost total opposites. This intrigued me too. I see it a lot less than the "dead similar" couples, but I do see it.

And as I saw all this, I started to formulate a theory, that gave me a better understanding of human mate choice matching.

This theory made me even more confident (as if I was confident enough) in my own pickups as well... because it helped me realize a few things about what kinds of girls were likely to be most receptive to me, and what kinds of girls I was likely to get on with best myself.

Do Bad Evil Seducer Men Corrupt Innocent Women?

corrupt women
Was your pure princess corrupted by a dirty playboy? Does it really even work that way? We explore whether women are innocent doves, ruined by filthy, devilish men.

I've been meaning to write this article for a bit, and we just got another one of these comments. The comment was on my article where I talked about feeling sad when splitting with a woman, not knowing if she'll ever find another guy on my level.

The commentator naturally said this showed I was an evil man for dating women and ruining them for other men and that I should only do friends-with-benefits or something (as if that was something I was even interested in!).

So I guess now's as good a time as any to address this belief that some guys hold.

Namely, that women are innocent, dove-like creatures, who are tragically ruined by diabolical romance fiends (like me), who seduce them, capture their hearts like they've never been captured before, then boot them out into the cold, to never be able to truly love a man again.

It's a kind of reverse-Disney; Prince Charming, rather than making the Princess's dreams come true, transforms her dreams into bitter lifelong regrets.

Is this how it really works?

Turn Your Life into an Achievement

turn life into an achievement
 

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of Heaven and Earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’”
    Martin Luther King Jr.

Learning how to be good with women is not a small achievement. I’d say it’s one of the greatest achievements a man can accomplish.

Most men will never know what it’s like to sleep with a beautiful woman (without paying for it). Perhaps a few will get “lucky” when a girl they know falls in their lap through a social circle or work. But most guys? They settle for the best they think they can get.

These men are fine with mediocre.

Personally, I am not fine with mediocre. At least not when it comes to the women I date long term.

I don’t want to date ignorant, boring, plain, or obese women. I want to be with charming, confident, attractive, fit, intelligent, interesting women. So I’ve spent a large part of my life transforming myself into someone these sorts of women will find attractive.

Of course, nobody’s perfect. We all have our valleys and plateaus. You don’t need to be excellent in every area of your life, but you should strive for it in as many areas as possible.

How a Girl's Perception of COVID-19 Affects Her Sex Drive

COVID-19 sex drive
Whether the COVID-19 situation is severe or not, the ‘perception’ of severity plays a very big role on a woman’s sex drive and her willingness to resume dating.

Hey guys. Welcome back to another post on seduction during the pandemic. Here I share analysis, strategies, and suggestions on how to play the mating game during this COVID-19 crisis, which has become the ultimate cockblock.

Dealing with this situation is difficult, I admit. It took me time and much brainpower to “re-figure” things out. It took many disappointing nights out and quite a bit of frustration, too. But this is a part of game, and especially a part of the learning and discovery process. One advantage I may have is that I have been in the learning and discovery phase before. I know how to crack the code and figure things out. New guys in this scene may not (yet) have this capacity. However, they can read the analysis of more experienced guys. So I hope this will help.

I’ve written a few posts about dealing with the coronavirus, which I recommend you read:

Last week’s article about different levels of lockdown was particularly important. I broke down the three levels of lockdown and shared suggestions on how to approach the mating game.

There are three general phases of lockdown:

  • Hard lockdown: You can forget about the dating game, yet do not despair as this “closed” lockdown does not last forever.

  • Moderate lockdown: Day game, parks, bars, restaurants, hosting at home, and social circle management opportunities begin to open up. You can have F-buddies come over.

  • Light lockdown: Same as above, but you may have more options: bars with less social distancing and some clubs may be open with strict social distancing, sadly.

If you want more details, read my previous article.

What I did not cover last week was the way this affects female emotions. It could be helpful to discuss what is possible logistically. A woman’s mood and state also need to be considered.

I’ve noticed that women’s behavior differs depending on many factors. I have traveled to other countries with different lockdown policies, and have talked with girls abroad. Some visited me once the European Union opened its borders.

I’ve come to some conclusions about how COVID-19 and lockdown policies affect women’s moods. I will share these factors next.

Dating Strategies for Different Levels of Lockdown

covid-19 pandemic dating solutions
COVID-19 restrictions vary in different parts of the world. In this article, I go over some possible dating solutions depending on your level of lockdown.

Hey guys. And welcome back.

Today I want to return to my posts on COVID-19 and how to deal with this challenging situation. Let’s not fool ourselves; this pandemic is one of the biggest cockblocks I have ever encountered. It has impaired me more than I would have believed. Things are NOT easy. It is hard for everyone.

It may negatively affect your social and sexual confidence. I get that. Usually, I would tell guys to man up, but I can only say that I sympathize. It has affected me and other seducers as well. Things are not great.

I may be repeating myself, but it’s important to note that we are all experiencing the lows of COVID-19, pros and beginners alike. So do not feel bad for experiencing negative emotions. Pros and beginners may experience things differently. Pros may feel the shock of not having superpowers anymore, which is very frustrating, and beginners may feel far less robust emotionally regarding sex and women.

Most of us, regardless of skill levels, will experience lows for different reasons. The way people cope with crises, given their natural predispositions, may play a significant role in how they react and how severely they are affected.

Today I want to get practical. My two last articles on seduction during the pandemic have been mostly in a negative tone. I’ve taken a negative slant about online dating and dating apps. I do not generally consider them good options for meeting women, and find them even less useful during the pandemic.

(I still have not heard from anyone racking up plenty of pulls from Tinder during the pandemic; wasn’t it supposed to be the perfect solution?)

So, what should one do instead? I feel bad for leaving readers without a replacement.

I will share some brief suggestions. It will be an overview. In future posts, I may share specific guides on dealing with these suggestions. I am not writing in-depth posts yet, because I still have not found the holy grail. I hope that the crisis will end before I get to that, so I don’t have to write these guides. But if the crisis continues, you will AT LEAST have some in-depth suggestions.

Why Are 21st Century Men So Apathetic and Unmotivated?

what motivates a man
Men of today have lost their motivation to build, fight, work, or get women. What's behind their lethargy, and how can you overcome this in yourself?

We live in a distinctly unmotivated time.

During the settling of the American continent, European settlers burst through with boundless energy. They founded towns, warred with the natives, pushed into hostile and unfamiliar lands, and carved paths through a frontier in search of unknown fortunes.

In the American West, frontier towns brimmed with ambitious men who eschewed the comforts of civilized life, like fine clothes, fine food, or women -- some towns at some points had male-female ratios as stark as 754-to-1. Before the Gold Rush of 1849, California's population was 90% male.

Yet, this bothered the men little, for they were there to find wealth, greatness, or just to build or find something new.

Men of this age didn't need help with women. They found wives readily enough (when they returned to civilization -- or imported them from back home), and those wives didn't divorce them (and only infrequently ran off with other men).

Men of this age didn't lose themselves into aimless pastimes, comfort, and luxury the way men of later ages did either. Most led hard lives, with simple food, simple living, hard work, and simple pleasures.

Yet travel 150 years into the future, and their inheritors are an opposite picture.

American men today sit about all day, riding around in automobiles, their faces glued to screens, their testosterone levels crashed (17% down just from 1987 to 2004 alone), over 50% of the American population non-working (population: 329,227,746 citizens + ~12,000,000+ legal and illegal aliens; jobs: 137,802,000; total U.S. employment: <40.4%). Compare that to the Pioneer Age, when women and children worked all day (on the farm, on the ranch, at the market, making textiles, or in various other occupations)! Many Americans are disinterested in the work available (I have seen numerous men in trades talk about offering jobs or apprenticeships to unemployed younger men and having those younger men turn them down), while many have little thought to the future (1 in 6 older people plan to spend all their children's inheritance).

This apathy extends to all kinds of things, and is on the rise. When I got into the seduction space, most guys weren't that interested in pickup because they occasionally got laid or found girlfriends from their social circles (and that was enough for them).

Today, even fewer men are interested in seduction, yet for different reasons. Rather than it being because they got laid in other ways, a lot of men aren't having sex at all, and are completely apathetic about doing anything to change that situation.

young men no sex
The percentage of men not having sex is shooting skyward.

There's less interest in pickup.

young men no sex
Interest in getting women is down to about 40% of what it was when I founded Girls Chase.

There's less interest in nightlife.

young men no sex
It's been worsening yearly. As of a few years ago, each month only 334 bars opened while 609 bars closed (source).

Men are dating in their social circles much less, and every man is on Tinder, where most women aren't.

what motivates a man
Tinder: the ultimate sausage fest. Worse than any nightclub! Source: Statista

More and more men aren't working, more and more men aren't getting laid, more and more men aren't doing anything other than to sit around with their time, watching their jobs disappear, their women walk by, and their histories vanish, and instead of doing anything to change any of that, more and more men just hang around, observe, and complain.

What's happened to men in the 21st Century, and how did they become so dull?

Our Burden as Men to Be Strong

burden as men to be strong
We typically advise against men opening up about their weaknesses to women they date. But won’t showing a little insecurity strengthen a relationship? No, and here’s why.

As a follow up to my article on the right and wrong ways to be vulnerable, a reader was curious why it’s important not to be vulnerable about certain things in your own life when dealing with women.

The anonymous reader commented on vulnerability below:

“So the thesis of the article is that it’s best not to be vulnerable unless it’s occasional and share something that you can easily attribute to something external? I wouldn’t be able to talk about what a struggle my adolescent life is because of depression? Or how my Asian parents did a poor job raising me, and it led to me having low self-esteem? We really can’t share our past traumas under any circumstance without losing our women? We have to pretend like everything is okay, and we never had any struggle in our lives past or current even if that’s not the case? What if you just make it seem like it was in the past, but you’re a different man now, and the only reason you’re actually telling her is because it feels good to share it with someone else instead of keeping it bottled in? I feel like men constantly have to do a lot of posturing just for the sake of attracting and keeping women interested in them whereas women don’t really have that concern.”

On the boards the other day, I read two similar comments about how unfair and inferior it is to be a male in today’s society.

The first comment:

“Women date up. Men date down. Men have to fear that their penis doesn’t [measure] up. Women can be relatively skinny and have unlimited abundance with[out] having to work for it. Men have to work to be providers. Women have so many options that they can choose and compare between looks, social status, wealth, dick size, confidence, and alpha male [status]. Women only seem to compete for looks, sometimes status, and only provide pussy. Being feminine does not seem to add any additional value to our lives. Yet we have to compete on various levels of value just to be good enough. Social media and Tinder has made 5/10s with unlimited abundance.”

HOW IS THIS FAIR?

And the second comment:

“Men are expected to give women pleasure, strength, attention, validation, and security to prevent them from cheating, etc. Yet, women basically give nothing in return besides pussy. That is what bothers me the most. Not only do women reap more rewards in the sexual marketplace, they don’t even have to try as much.”

Is this really how it works?

In this article, I want to dive in further and discuss what this means. I’ll clarify and expand on my response to the comments about the article.