Social Commentary | Girls Chase

Social Commentary

COVID-19 – The End of Dating as We Know It, Part 1

dating after COVID-19
COVID-19 has already shown us a glimpse into an odd future: the rise of the home office and social distancing, etc. How will these shifts impact dating in the long term?

This article is purely speculative. We might look back on this in two or three years and laugh at some of these predictions, or some other Girls Chase authors will flame me. But when The Jetsons came out, we laughed at some of the predictions they imagined that are now commonplace. To get your critical brain thinking a bit, let’s look at some impacts of COVID-19.

Some pundits, news reporters, media outlets, and sources of influence are labeling COVID-19 as a quick, passing moment in time, after which everything returns to normal once a vaccine is developed. Others predict permanent social distancing measures, indefinite isolation, and a host of other lasting changes to our society.

I’m not this extreme on either end, but I think this moment in history is starting the path of some significant long-term shifts. In some ways, it’s too soon to predict exactly what will happen next, but there are some indicators we can accurately assess to draw some conclusions. I think it’s bound to affect how some parts of dating will work for the next decade or so.

Fundamentally, women never will change, and game will always be game. So, let’s speculate on the ways you may be meeting girls in the future.

The COVID-19 Effect: Do We Need to Rethink Pickup and Seduction?

dating covid-19 pandemic
Has COVID-19 become an overarching seduction wildcard, disallowing your tried-and-true pickup routines? It certainly has for me. But it’s not all bad. Here’s why.

Here in Europe, as in many countries, there’s talk about “rethinking” and “reinventing” ways to socialize. I get chills EVERY TIME I hear this. It activates a deep fear that I may lose everything I love so much, like enjoying a night out, banging chicks at parties, and going on dates in bars.

The thought is terrifying.

I question a lot these days why the authorities and media say this. I am nearing the end of lockdown in my country. People are partying on the weekends (sadly, clubs are still closed). They hang out in restaurants and bars, doing all the usual things again. So, I question the "need for rethinking our social life" rhetoric. Things are getting slowly getting back to normal, although it took a bit longer than anticipated. So what is all this rhetoric for? To scare us? To calm us down? For marketing? I honestly do not know.

But I know that you cannot reinvent “social.” The “social” is about meeting people face-to-face. Skyping is social, so are group chats on various platforms, but they are not social in the strict sense. They are like “social light.”

Humans, even hardcore introverts, are social beings. We need to see people, interact, mingle, laugh, dance, and play. It is part of human nature. Biologists know it, sociologists know it even better, and psychologists think they know it.

First and foremost, there is likely no need to rethink ways to socialize (as the crisis will end eventually), and it is impossible to rethink socialization.

This is what I’ll discuss here. I’ll share my perspectives, and then review some strategies for tackling socialization in the age of COVID-19.

Beauty Is the Reward of Valor

beauty is the reward of valor
Women don't respond to timorous men. But they respond (in almost shocking ways) to strong, driven, valiant ones… with beauty as valor's reward.

Writing of the invasion in 396 A.D. of Alaric and the Goths into Greece (not long before the fall of Rome, and well after Greece had declined as a regional power and slid into decadence and decay), Edward Gibbon notes:

The troops which had been posted to defend the Straits of Thermopylae, retired, as they were directed, without attempting to disturb the secure and rapid passage of Alaric; and the fertile fields of Phocis and Boeotia were instantly covered by a deluge of Barbarians who massacred the males of an age to bear arms, and drove away the beautiful females, with the spoil and cattle of the flaming villages.

...

The vases and statues were distributed among the Barbarians, with more regard to the value of the materials, than to the elegance of the workmanship; the female captives submitted to the laws of war; the enjoyment of beauty was the reward of valor; and the Greeks could not reasonably complain of an abuse which was justified by the example of the heroic times.

The descendants of that extraordinary people, who had considered valor and discipline as the walls of Sparta, no longer remembered the generous reply of their ancestors to an invader more formidable than Alaric. "If thou art a god, thou wilt not hurt those who have never injured thee; if thou art a man, advance:—and thou wilt find men equal to thyself."

The Goths had finished sacking Asia Minor, yet, unable to breach the walls of Constantinople, had wheeled about, crossed back into Europe, and burned a path through Greece.

The Greeks, no longer the manly warriors of their forebears, retreated, leaving the pass of Thermopylae unguarded. 900 years earlier, the Spartan King Leonidas I had for three days resisted a 100,000-man Persian army with a force of 300 Spartans and 700 Thespians at Thermopylae. And even only 140 years earlier, circa 250 A.D., the Greeks halted an earlier Gothic invasion at Thermopylae. This time, however, the soft and timorous Greeks retreated from the pass, and the Goths carved through, slaughtered the young men like pigs, and took the females as their prizes.

You might at first pity the Greeks.

Poor soft, unwarrior-like, decadent Greeks, invaded by the savage Goths, the quivering young men of Greece murdered, the fair young women of Greece carried away as war brides.

Yet, the people and land of Greece were hers to lose. Her soldiers shrunk back in fear of the invading Goths, and the Goths claimed their spoils, of blood, gold, and women.

And as Gibbon says, the enjoyment of beauty is the reward of valor.

Beauty is not something enjoyed by the man too cowardly to earn it.

In your own life, too, if you wish to enjoy beauty, you must behave with valor.

Women Are Not Evil

women are evil
If you push beyond the temptations of hate toward women, you will find a new land of beauty before you. You will see the beauty in all women, even the evil ones.

Long ago, I wrote two articles. One was about how women will cuckold and dominate you if you let them. Another was about how women are, by nature, amoral.

They were darker-side articles that inspired some controversy. I had been roaming the abyss of human behavior to search for truths that, while hard to swallow, were true.

Long I struggled with these moral questions of whether or not the evils perpetrated by others are always malicious. It’s easy to simply say “I don’t care” when faced with the dark side of women. This is the motto of most tough guys, and there are many tough guys on the internet.

I thought this to be my perspective as well, for a long time. Then, reflecting on my emotions, I realized that I’d lied to myself for a long time.

Poor Man's Game or Wealthy Lifestyle Game – Which Is for You?

lifestyle seduction game
Broke lifestyle game is better for getting fast sex, but wealth gives you more options. So, if you have options, which style of game should you run with?

In my last few articles, we covered two very different associations between a guy’s lifestyle and socioeconomic class, and how they affect his success with women.

The first covered poor/broke game, one of the most powerful and quixotic forms of game, used for ages by artists, musicians, bartenders, travelers, nomads, creatives, and adventurers. Poor/broke game is not to be confused with game by deadbeat men — poor/broke game requires fundamentals and attractive behavior.

In a two-part series, we covered wealthy lifestyle game, which is the inverse method. This game style relies on wealth and a clear focus on your mission to draw in women with a vibe of a potential alpha provider. Wealthy lifestyle game is equally powerful to poor/broke game, but it takes a much more effort to maintain, yet nets you access to girls you wouldn’t otherwise get as a broke guy.

If you'd like to check those articles out, here they are:

As you’ve probably figured out in reading those descriptions and articles, going down either path is a long-term choice. Each method requires a distinct lifestyle, vibe, learning curve, and congruence that must fit together. It’s not easy or quick to switch between the two. If this doesn’t make sense, I will explain it shortly.

In this article, we will explore some pros and cons of each game style. I discussed these independently in previous articles, but side-by-side, we will see that one system’s weakness is often the other’s strength. I hope viewing both together will help guide you to which style to pursue!

Dating App Gurus vs. Pick Up Artists: What's the Difference?

dating app gurus
More and more, guys who succeed with women on dating apps are claiming their way is the 'best way.' But do these guys have superior seduction skills – or are they full of hot air?

When I was a seduction neophyte, cutting my teeth on game, everyone agreed: online dating was good for a few easy lays and a little momentum. Nevertheless it wasn't where you wanted to hang your hat.

There were guys then who specialized in it. But the rule of thumb was, the more into online a guy was, and the less 'real world', the more of an introverted, and frequently kind of odd, guy he was. Online was its own unique niche... but nobody went around equating it with pickup. The two were different things.

Online and pickup/seduction overlapped in some ways. But online always only ever covered a subsection of the skills and tool sets a man learned in cold approach pickup.

Recently, however, there's been a sort of ideological schism.

With the normalization of dating apps, the number of men whose lays come mostly or entirely from dating apps has skyrocketed.

And, increasingly, these online dating guys are getting some rather large egos.

Wealthy Lifestyle Game: How to Get Laid when You Have Money, Pt. 2

how to get laid when you have money
As a wealthy guy, it’s harder to get fast sex with women because they peg you as a provider rather than a lover. Combat this by disqualifying yourself as a provider!

Welcome to Part 2 of the Art of Wealthy Lifestyle Game! We continue to explore why wealthy lifestyle game can net you some killer results with women, sometimes more than poor/broke game!

In Part 1, we covered these key concepts:

  • Power in authority makes men attractive to women
  • Wealthy lifestylers should raise their standards to benefit from game
  • Flaunt your wealth
  • Host cool events and build your social circle

These ideas are foundational concepts as to why wealthy lifestyle game can work. As you can probably tell, this game style is a little more niche. When thinking about raising your standards, your high-end lifestyle could alienate you from many lower-class women. They may see you as so high value that you’re unattainable (like your Ferrari to their Toyota).

But then, to other women, you’re simply a potential provider. Plenty of women get educations, great careers, and high-paying jobs, plus the lifestyle and high fashion to boot, in the hopes of meeting a guy with this status to lock him down.

As we know well (believe me, I know this ALL TOO well), girls will make you wait, and won’t give in to sex easily when they’ve met their prize. Indeed, once discovered, the wealthy lifestyler is a major prize for many women.

As I said long ago, where poor/broke game excels is in the ability for such guys to be a lover right off the bat and throughout the process. It’s congruent with the lover profile, and girls love the idea of throwaway sex when they’re horny! On the flip side, wealthy lifestylers run a high risk of being slotted into the potential provider category. This can slow them down or make things nearly impossible with girls.

So let's focus on ways to combat the provider frame and find success, despite this restriction.

Wealthy Lifestyle Game: How to Get Laid when You Have Money, Pt. 1

how to get laid when you have money
My previous article was about getting laid while broke. Now let’s talk about the other end of the spectrum – wealthy lifestyle game – and how to make the best of it.

In my last article, we covered a popular topic on the Girls Chase boards about the art of poor and broke man game.

This popular style of game is immensely successful and powerful. It involves influencing a girl with your vibe and attractive behavior, regardless of how successful you are in life. A major benefit is that you start directly at the lover category in the girl’s eyes as you move forward by providing good emotions and elicit sexual feelings to progress sexually.

Most "ladies men" tend to fall into the poor/broke category. Others include bartenders, artists, musicians, adventurers, tour guides, and frat boys. And as I mentioned, poor/broke game is not to be confused with deadbeats, who instead repel women no matter how hard they try.

Now let’s talk about the counterpart to poor/broke game: the wealthy lifestyle game. Some guys dream about this category. At the end of the wealthy spectrum, we have the Dan Bilzerians, Elon Musks, NBA basketball players, and sports legends, plus many seducers and coaches in the commercial dating arena who are wealthy and successful business owners.

You don’t need to be famous and super-wealthy to benefit from this kind of game style. Guys should be more concerned with the pitfalls of dating outside the poor/broke game. Wealthy guys who don’t quickly establish themselves firmly as a lover, and are remotely attractive and cool, start to become potential providers to women, which will potentially slow down or stall courtship.

It can get tough when you’re a decently successful and good-looking guy with a stable income, nice belongings, a good job, a great place, cool friends, a car — you get the point. This type of guy is distinctly average and nothing special. Even though he’s financially better off than the poor/broke guy, he may lack the sex appeal of the average Joe.

Wealthy lifestyle game is a nuanced way of structuring your “average” middle-class life to net the most returns with women, by elevating yourself in wealth and value. I believe that this style of game and the steps below become more potent when you combine them with actual financial success. The following tips can explode in effectiveness with more money in the mix.

This doesn’t mean that with money, you can forget about attractive behavior!

Poor Man's Game – Can Guys Without Money Get Women?

dating without money
Fact: women will sleep with poor guys faster than wealthy dudes. In this article, I explain why that is and the vital differences between poor guys and deadbeats.

The Cheap vs. Poor article I wrote a few weeks ago generated some ideas for me as well as for some members of the Girls Chase forum. In that article, I explained the differences between "cheap" behavior and just being poor. I think it’s also valuable to talk about poor game and getting laid without money.

I want to give credit to some of the posters on the forum. They’ve inspired me, providing much of the meat for this post, and the article to follow on gaming with money.

Let me first point out that, in this article, we're only considering sex with non-prostitutes (a rich guy can obviously buy pussy whenever his junk twitches). No, we're talking about getting laid through the art of pickup and seduction, not money-for-sex situations.

If you were to take a sample of a few game-oriented guys, seducers, and naturals, it’s the poor guys who get laid the most and in the shortest time frames.

That may seem counterintuitive to you if you're new around here, but it is so much easier to get laid without money than with money; some say it’s not even comparable. Good news for you poor guys if you're only finding this out now!

As forum member "YS" has pointed out:

“When you're just a free-spirit lover retard running around, everything is so congruent. When you're wearing a three-piece suit, running companies, blowing off fires all day, it’s really hard to just be free and flirty with random college girls (or any woman for that matter).”

I think this is true, which is why we wonder about the types of guys some women end up with. We see hot girls with dudes who look like losers on the surface, but these same guys give her the good feelings (and good sex) she craves.

In general, none of the world’s wealthiest guys are getting laid remotely as well as the carefree, cool pothead on your street, the party-going surfer dude, the starving artist/musician, or your free-spirited traveler nomading in some far corner of the world.

Some guys can’t believe this. They think that broke guys cannot have girlfriends, that you need money after a certain age, that women of a certain caliber don’t date poor men. While that may be true for much of the population, it’s not true for the ladies’ man, for the guys who know how to get laid consistently. There are a few notable examples within the PUA community (for instance, Mystery did not have much money, yet was often with “10” quality strippers, and had relationships with them).

Should You Start Dating a Woman with Kids?

dating a woman with kids
Have you considered dating a woman with kids? As the child of a single mother, my advice is to find someone else and avoid the many pitfalls intrinsic to stepfatherhood.

In my opinion, you should not date a woman with kids.

You can shag her, sure. Beyond that, I would not continue to date her.

The only exception is that you also have a kid you’re bringing into the new union, and you're both down to help raise children who aren't yours. In that way, the power imbalance is addressed, and you’re both helping the offspring of other parents.

If that recommendation upsets you, I’m guessing one of two things:

  1. You’ve been programmed to think stepfatherhood virtuous.

  2. Or, you lust for a woman who has a kid. Maybe you’re already dating her.

The only people who will say you should be a stepdad are those with an agenda. And I say this as a guy who was raised by many different surrogate fathers during his childhood.

My birth father was mostly nonexistent from the age of 2 to 12. I only would see him during summers after that. We have a good relationship now, but it’s taken nearly 15 years to get to that point, with drama in between that I would wish on no one.

I say this because it makes me immune to the most hateful responses someone might have about my stance on this topic, which I happen to know better than almost anyone. The only criticism that might strike me as genuine is, “You’re ungrateful for the love those men had for you!”

The answer to that is: no, I’m not.

I’m very grateful for the parenting attempts made by my many quasi-stepfathers (none ended up marrying my mother, except one briefly for a few months). They all had different influences on me. Some good, some bad, some mediocre, but I appreciate the effort they made if they did make one.

There are a few who had a significant impact on me, and I will thank them until the day I die.

One of them was an Italian chef. He was the first person my mother dated who truly acted like a father. My mother told me he is the one responsible for teaching her how to let my cry as a baby and not rush to soothe me. “Let him cry, and he will stop,” he told her. He even sat on her to keep her from rushing to me. He is still my mother’s close friend even to this day.

Another important man was a boyfriend who would later come out as gay. He had some degree of heterosexuality given he had a relationship with my mother, so it would be accurate to classify him as bisexual. My mother had suspected he was more gay than not, though, and after they broke up, he decided to follow that life. He was very, very good to her and me, and he loved us both very much. Even now, he is still a close friend of my mother and visited me on my birthday in Europe a few years back.

The most beautiful follow up to this story is that, after all these years, he still has a picture of my mother and me on his desk. When he’s asked about this picture, he says that if he had desired the life of a straight man more than his current life, then we would have been his life. My mother would have been his wife, and I would be his son. I think this is extraordinarily beautiful.

The third important surrogate father was as close to a stable father figure as I would ever have. Although he had a son and daughter of his own, we were more closely linked in personality than his own kids. You might say I was the son he always wanted. Karma brought us together for a reason because our similarity was insanely strong. However, he had serious personal faults that prevented him from truly being a man worthy of my mother’s respect. He lacked the skills to allow the relationship to flourish. I will say without regret that he was an amazing influence in my life and taught me much about what it means to be good, to care, to love, and to be a man. I love him deeply and wish him all the best in this life and the next. He is a good man with a good heart.

However, I will say this unequivocally: I would never recommend any of them to take on the role they did and attempt to become a stepfather. Even more so, I say this about the rest of the men my mother dated. Of them, none of any importance come to mind.

All those men, no matter how good their intentions, were going after pussy (except the gay one, of course; he might be an exception and probably loved me the most, as his heart wasn’t tainted by lust). For the rest of those men, I was a secondary concern. Even if they grew to love me later, I was not a priority.

Don’t get me wrong.

I don’t doubt some genuinely cared about me or loved me or wanted the best for me. Some clearly did, as I pointed out. It doesn’t change the fact that they still wanted to screw my mom. I know this because I know men. I teach them for a living, and I know their hearts and minds better than they do.

But I get ahead of myself.

Let’s look at why society lauds the stepfather and deconstruct its motivations so you can discover if you want to be praised for this act (and how this praise subtly motivates you to be a stepfather, even if you’re not aware of it).