Dating

Women often reference third parties to covertly obtain info about you and what you want. Understanding this clandestine woman-speak can be very useful!

Women are masterful at communication. The ability for women to convey and decipher information is so sophisticated that most men completely miss the point and wind up wondering... “What the hell are these girls talking about?”

As men, we’re very direct and straightforward, saying things in ways that usually don’t have subconscious meanings. Women, on the other hand, can be circuitous and sneaky, conveying information in two layers. The first layer of communication is what’s obvious, but as we all know, the real meaning behind what women say is hidden in the next layer.

This layering of communication allows women to acquire information in a multitude of ways that aren’t apparent at first glance.

Women sub-communicate their intentions to get what they want from others. One of the best examples of this is the “scapegoat framing” tactic, which I will share with you today. It’s a means for a woman to acquire information about guys for her own purposes, while simultaneously using it as a form of influence by creating a condition around a mysterious third party.

In the last couple of months, I’ve experienced this frame on two separate occasions. In the first case, with a girl called Tanya, the frame was used to persuade and influence. In the second case, with Sarah, the frame was used to acquire information – the opposite of Tanya.

Once you’ve made yourself an attractive man women want, the battle is half won. The next step: finding ways to lower your cost, to make it easy for women who want you.

Most of what men focus on when they think about doing better with women is what they have to offer women. They think about how they can sell themselves to women; what women have to gain from them. Their value. Being impressive, taking women on fun dates, getting muscular, showing off their successes, having cool stories to tell – all these are ways to better display what you have to offer to a woman.

Much of what we focus on on the attraction side for men at Girls Chase focuses on bolstering what you have to offer, too. With better fundamentals you become a man women are more and more interested in. And with better game you make it easier and easier to showcase your attractive sides and find ways to get girls to go come with you.

Yet there’s another side of the equation to any value offering. It is not just how valuable something is, but also what its costs are.

That’s ‘costs’ plural, because there are always multiple costs to anything you acquire or add to your life. Costs like:

• Time: how much time does it take to get this thing?

• Money: do you need to spend money to get it? If so, how much?

• Image: are there costs to your image if you acquire this thing?

• Motivation: do you have to exert willpower or fight inertia to get this thing?
  

• Opportunity: by choosing this option, do you give up something else?

... and more.

When it comes to dating and seduction, every woman you meet faces these and other costs when she considers you.

Getting the girl is a goal, but staying with her is a process that requires continued effort. To keep a relationship strong, you have to keep playing.

I was just talking with a group of friends about how clueless some guys are about relationships. Most men are bad at meeting women. And once they find a girl they like, they’re even worse at managing relationships, so they flounder, again and again.

Here’s how the topic came up. One of my friends was dating a girl he really liked, but he’s much younger than her, lives at home with his family, and can’t hold down a job.

On the other hand, she’s in her thirties, and even though she liked my friend a lot, she didn’t feel like he was up to par to date publicly. He wasn’t ideal boyfriend material, in other words, but she still liked him and devised an interesting solution to the problem.

She continued to date my friend as a lover, hidden away behind the scenes, while she picked up a public boyfriend she could go out and be social with, and maintain the public façade of not being single. It was a situation that confused her for a long time – until her public boyfriend made so many mistakes during the relationship that she decided to dump him once and for all.

He didn’t take it well – his first reaction was to get drunk and go to her home, blocking her car in with his so she couldn’t leave. When she showed zero desire to get back together with him, he locked himself in her bathroom for an entire night, only coming out occasionally to beg her to take him back. Eventually, he vomited in the bathroom and fell asleep in it.

The next day, my friend had great sex with her for several hours. She’d lost any modicum of attraction she had left for the other guy after how needy he had become.

We talked about why things sometimes happen this way, and we deduced that most men just don’t know how to manage relationships correctly. Thus, I’m here to share with you why this is an important skill to learn, and how to go about it.

When your girl is into you but you think she’ll resist first-date sex out of fears of getting played, this is how you can safely bring up a second date.

For most guys in most situations, it’s advisable to avoid setting up the second date during the first – or even setting up the third date during the second.

The risk of being so forward is that you play your cards early. Instead of waiting for her to tell you she wants to see you again – which can and will happen if you give her a great date – you should be the one to propose the second date.

You can potentially betray too much interest and come off as the one chasing.

For guys who have a more relaxed style, show little emotion, and prefer to be smooth and cool, I would advise against using the method in this article.

However, for those who have a more upbeat style, or for guys who find themselves having an attainability issue, either due to the player problem (i.e., she thinks you’re a player and doubts your intentions beyond sex) or from being too high value, you can use this more forward approach to prevent a girl from going into auto-rejection.

Let’s go through the two prerequisites for setting up a second date while on the first.

This is my favorite video I’ve put out. It’s so beautifully empowering and inspirational if you can make it through. The journey of seduction and learning about women is, at its core, a journey of understanding what you can and cannot get from women. When you learn that romantic love, the everlasting kind that is perpetuated by not only our media and culture, but by our intrinsic desire to find lasting pleasure and lasting peace, is not real, your world will change.

Some might argue that romantic love is a new idea, and in some ways this is correct; most cultures up until a few hundred years ago saw sex and marriage as a transaction that kept resources flowing and bloodlines intact, but the game we play in public is very different from the game we play in our hearts and in our heads.
 
We have ALWAYS sought true love.

We are driven to find permanence, and the biggest trick we ever played on ourselves was convincing ourselves that we could find it in a romantic partner.

Not only is this a lie, it will SEVERELY hinder your romantic capabilities, both in casual and long-term relationships. You will be perpetually disappointed that a seduction or a relationship did not remain filled with bubbles and joy.

Watch the video and find out why true love is an illusion and why you should let it go.

Time and energy can be wasted on non-receptive girls, or by over-gaming receptive ones. Economize your dating by distinguishing between Reds, Yellows, and Greens.

With so many women to choose from in the world and so many women to approach, how the heck does a guy manage to filter through them faster and more efficiently, and become more effective in the mating game?

A lot of guys starting out spend a lot of time cold approaching in day game and night game, trying to learn their ladders for how to get women and identify the receptive ones from the girls who just aren’t interested.

Unfortunately, what also happens when learning is that a guy gets discouraged by rejection because he takes the response of a single woman far too personally.

Especially for newbies and virgins, a single rejection can be devastating, especially if it’s a type of girl he strongly aspires to get.

However, it’s not wise to take the opinion of one woman – or even a few women – seriously. This is because there are three categories of women out there in the world:

• Women for whom you are exactly their type
• Women for whom you might be their type, but they’re not sure
• Women for whom you are absolutely not their type

Being a woman’s type or not is fairly binary – after all, attraction is binary – but women also have preconceived notions about men based on their appearance, fundamentals, and behavior.

In short, women have preferences, but you can also short circuit their preferences by creating desire.

Sex won’t happen as quickly if she sees you as a potential boyfriend. Avoid boyfriend qualities and behaviors, and she won’t feel the need to wait for sex.

Girls generally want three types of men in their lives.

Lovers. Men they see as potential sex mates who may or may not be available for longer-term flings. They end up falling the most in love with these men because they are men who make it clear from the get-go what they want from her – sex – and she respects that. They have mostly a sexual value but can also have romantic value to her.

Orbiters. These are men women draw into their lives with some light flirting. Women give these men a sense that maybe something might happen if he provides her with emotions and/or social connections (a job, money, etc.), or they make it clear to the guy that he’s only a friend – but he hopes that might change some day. He has little-to-no sexual or romantic value to her.

Boyfriends. These are men women find cute or charming but seem a bit safer than some rascal lover. They can see themselves dating these men or even marrying them. The most elite of men can straddle the line between a lover and boyfriend quite well, which helps with higher-caliber women who don’t hook up with strangers too often. But most men who are boyfriend types are strictly boyfriend types.

At Girls Chase, we advise readers to focus on enhancing their position as a lover, since it’s the best route to go. Going the “I want to be your boyfriend” route takes more time than it takes to be a lover. Why?