Dating | Page 24 | Girls Chase

Dating

The Easiest Way to Get a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to get a girl to be your girlfriend
You may think you have to ask a girl to be your girlfriend. But there’s an easier way to get a girl to be your girlfriend than this. It centers on behavior over words.

You’ve got a girl you’re into, and you’d like to get her to be your girlfriend. The time you spend together is great. You think about her all the time when you’re not with her. And you know she likes you too. But... does she like you enough to be your girlfriend?

You’d like to know how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in a way that minimizes the chance she rejects you. You don’t want her to say “no” or “let’s keep this casual for now.” So what do you do?

Most of the advice you’ll see out there will tell you to ask her outright at some point. “Just ask!” or “Just pop the question!” But this advice misunderstands a simple fact about the way girls work: the emotions and behavior must come first... the words come later.

This article works within that framework – one where you get the emotions and behavior right first, and add the words (and official boyfriend-girlfriend status) in after.

Follow the simple steps below, and you stand a very good chance to turn the girl you’d like to be your girlfriend into a girl who is your girlfriend.

When Dates or Pickups Go Awry, the 3-Legged Chair Is Your Guide to Why

Daniel Adebayo's picture

date awry
Just because you hit it off with a girl doesn’t mean it’ll stay good. When your interactions fall apart, use the 3-legged chair to figure out why.

You’re talking to a girl, it’s going great, she seems into you, all the signs are pointing to you two getting more intimate later on. She’s contributing to the conversation, flirting with you, maybe even touching you here and there. Then all of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, her mood changes; she goes from quite hot for you – or even very hot – to stone cold for what seems like absolutely no reason. Ever been in that situation? I think we all have.

When you’re starting out in seduction, this’ll happen a lot (mainly because you failed to do something obvious), but as you become more experienced with women, even if you consider yourself a pretty skilled seducer, you’ll find that this still happens every now and then.

Things were going great, and now they just aren’t. What’s worse is that you’ll think you did everything correctly, and it won’t seem to you like there were any obvious mistakes in your process. In fact, you might have even had the exact same interaction with a different girl a couple weeks ago and the two of you ended up going back to your place for a nightcap. It just doesn’t make any sense.

Maybe you just write it off completely. “Can’t win them all” as the saying goes, and then you forget about that weird interaction with that weird chick who suddenly went um… weird.

You forget about it completely – until it happens again.

Now, what if I told you there are actual, identifiable reasons why the seduction suddenly took a sour turn?

What if I told you there are ways for you to spot these curveballs coming from a mile away and prevent them from happening, or that there are even micro calibrations you can make to get the interaction back on the right track?

I’m willing to bet your first response would be: “Okay, could you share this information, please?”

Well, I’m glad you asked. Because that’s what we’re going to cover in this article.

Stop Teasing Girls over Text If They Already Like You, Part 1 (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Teasing girls is fun. It's also attractive because it demonstrates that she knows you don't idolize her or put her on a pedestal. Women like when a man treats her like a person, not some angel.

Why Girls Sleep with Cads Fast (and Put Boyfriends on the Slow Track)

Denton Fisher's picture

boyfriend slow track
Girls “slow track” boyfriend candidates for a variety of reasons. So what must you do to be the guy on the fast track – to her bedroom and beyond?

This is a touchy subject for most. I first and foremost believe in treating everyone with respect and love. However, sometimes it is best to be real and not sugarcoat the dating scene with the ideals that have been littered among our society by Disney and such. Sometimes it is best to deal with the world with a Machiavellian eye. If this bothers you, best not read any further. Otherwise, read on.

Whenever I talk to men, I hear the same thing over and over. It must be so easy to be a girl; they get guys so easily. Everyone wants a cute girl. Well, not to burst any bubbles, but both sexes have their troubles. Being a women is not easier, just different.

In the arena of dating, yes, girls can generally get sex whenever they want. If you are a cute girl, you can go anywhere and get a guy, but you cannot necessarily tie him down. It is hard for girls to keep a man who is worth a damn.

Let me put it this way. The crucial difference here between the sexes in terms of dating is that girls can have sex whenever they want but have a hard time achieving their goal of a relationship; we gentlemen have a hard time getting sex but an easier time getting a girlfriend out of the situation. In this way, the goals of each sex can confound the achievement of the goals of the other.

When Do You Get Too Old to Party or Meet Girls?

Chase Amante's picture

too old to party
At some point, you can’t go to the club or the frat party anymore. But when do you get to old to party? And can you ever get too old to meet girls?

We have a few guys on the comments and in the discussion boards who are fixated on age. These guys (in their late 20s or early 30s) worry about the future: they’re not living the lives they want right now, and they fear that in a few years it will be too late. Life will have passed them by, and they will forever regret not having done what they always longed to do. Here’s an excerpt from a recent forum post by Oh Pry:

I like the idea of celebrating a holiday or special time of the year with a party and going to events with hot girls but at times I do like to get put it into perspective to see how long I have until I start to feel like the old guy in the group.

Even on this forum I doubt members over 30 are spending Halloween going to a party with a hot girl or having a hell of a Christmas party with hot girls doing kinky shit.

Any thoughts on this?

We also get guys who stop by and express regret or depression that it’s too late for them and there’s little left for them to do. These are mostly men in their mid-to-late 50s... but we get guys in their 20s who express this same sentiment too.

I want to tackle this article from two perspectives. One is the mindset perspective: that is, why it’s counterproductive to worry someday you’ll be too old, or feel depressed because you think you already are too old. The other will just be a straight age-opportunity rundown: what places are available venues to you at different ages?

As You Get Older, Should You Date Women Who Want to Reconnect?

Chase Amante's picture

girls who want to reconnect
It’s been years… and now she wants to reconnect. Should you meet her? And beyond that, should you date her?

I received an email recently from a girl I hadn’t heard from in six or seven years.

I’d known her from social circle (back when I still maintained a social circle). She was skinny, fun, and cute, with an endearing California Valley girl accent (and all the expressiveness that entails). She also had that somewhat uptight air about her that can be a little off-putting but is really fun when you break through it and reach the real her.

Anyway, this was not a girl I’d hooked up with. Didn’t really have a good opportunity, and in any event I slept with other girls from that circle who were younger and didn’t have the same walls up she did. I met up with her various times in our shared social circle. Toward the end of my time in that circle, I scheduled a one-on-one meet with her but had to flake on it... and when she wanted to meet again I wasn’t able to make myself available for it. And after that we were in different cities and she fell off my radar. She was 29 years old back then.

So I got an email from her after more than half a decade, just saying she saw an event and wondered if I intended to go to it and asking if I was in town.

And the only thing I could think was, “Wow, 36 years old and still single, huh?”

How to Take Care of a Girl's Appearance on Approaches & Dates

Chase Amante's picture

girl's appearance on dates
Women care about their appearances more than most men realize. Yet once you know it, you can run better dates and approaches.

In his article on approaching girls in a high energy vs. low energy state, Alek mentioned women’s tendency to put weight on how others make them look in-venue. I thought this was a great topic, and one we haven’t talked about as much as we should have. So today’s article takes that topic and explores it further.

So let’s talk about the importance women place on appearances... both how they look themselves, and how the people and environments they’re associated with make them look.

Different women place different amounts of importance on appearances. Yet everyone values appearances to one extent or another... if not always to the same degrees, or along the same dimensions.

By the end of this article, I hope you will have a better, more intuitive grasp of the importance women put on appearances. And not to worry – we’ll talk below about why this grasp is helpful to your efforts to meet, bed, and date the women you want to do that with, too.

How to Fix the "He's Not a Boyfriend" Frame

Chase Amante's picture

he's not a boyfriend
Girls will sleep with you, but they won’t date you… and you can’t figure out why. But there are 3 reasons this happens (and you can fix them all).

This article is targeted to upper-intermediate-to-advanced daters with retention problems.

For many of the readers of this website, the problem they have is acquisition, not retention. That is, they can hang onto a girl when they get her... it’s the ‘getting’ where they have difficulty. But there are some men in the opposite boat.

If you’re in the other boat, it’s no problem for you to get girls into bed. You bed new girls often enough, and are content with your sex life. The only issue is, it’d be nice if some of those girls stuck around to become girlfriends... but they don’t. They never stick around.

The common root of this problem is also the common root of their success: how utterly they disqualify themselves as boyfriends. Because they make it simple for women (“This guy is attractive, but he is not a boyfriend at all”), sex becomes much easier to get. She doesn’t have to ask herself if she risks losing a guy she’d like to keep by sleeping with him fast... because she doesn’t want to keep him.

Yet once she’s had her fun with a guy like this, it’s time to move on, because, well, she doesn’t want to keep him.

Today we’ll talk tactical fixes to the three (3) usual sources of the “he’s not a boyfriend” frame: value, attainability, and screening.

The "It's Cruel When Men Don't Stick Around After Sex" Argument

Chase Amante's picture

stick around after sex
Men don’t always stick around for a relationship after sex. Is this wrong and is there anything bad about it – or not?

On my Friday/Saturday night date post, a female commenter took issue with my advice to a male commenter that he take advantage of rebound sex to get over a harsh relationship he just came out of.

To her point, I was perhaps a little indelicate in how I suggested he do this (it was guy-to-guy talk; this is a men’s site, after all). However, she took the occasion to launch into a moral argument that casual sex hurts women, takes advantage of them, and uses and discards them like unwanted objects. Her comment arguing this is a bit long to quote (you can read her full comment here), so I’ll just quote what is the most important part to me:

I have had conversations with girlfriends who have told me that a guy won’t go out with them if they don’t sleep with them. Women have been conditioned to feel they have to have sex, much much sooner than they would feel comfortable. We know from studies that men don’t develop the feeling of love until at least 3-6 months into the relationship, even while sleeping with a woman. What they develop are lust emotions.

Most women have given up on the idea of a man protecting them and *actually* loving them. Valor and honor and real love for another is almost absent in most dating. What you describe in your post is not love at all. It is using people for sex, using people for the thrill of feeling desires, of entertainment, but it is not love. You are incredibly insightful with how to manipulate women to get to your ultimate goal. What I am saying is that this is the opposite of what a man of valor would do. He would protect his woman from physical exploitation, not be the one to exploit her. And he is exploiting her, even if it’s with her permission, when he is trying to extract sex from her when he doesn’t even genuinely love her--- care for her best good.

It doesn’t much matter if rebound sex helps a person feel better. That doesn’t make it right. Maybe we can just numb our conscience to the point that it is dead so that we can pursue feelings of lust and pleasure without caring what is actually loving to others?

First off, her science is wrong. Men are more romantic than women are, heal less completely from breakups than women do, experience love at first sight at nearly double the rate of women... and that immediate in-love love-at-first-sight feeling men get is not infatuation – relationships that spring from immediate in-love feelings are every bit as stable and likely to last as those that develop from slow build-ups.

But that’s beside the point.

Our commenter’s argument is that to sleep with her, then not see her again, or not engage in or want to engage in a long-term committed relationship with her is damaging to her. You hurt her, you injure her, and you just generally make her feel bad.

So is she right? Does sex minus commitment lead to a trail of broken hearts and cynical women?

The answer I’ll give you is “yes, but.” And the ‘but’ is quite important.

But we’re not ready for the ‘but’ yet. Let’s talk about the ‘yes’ first.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Friday/Saturday Night Date

Chase Amante's picture

Friday night date
The Friday night or Saturday night date is one of the best date times you can get. But it’s also tricky to get – she may have plans, or want you to think she does.

You know my usual advice on scheduling your dates... go for midday if you can (11 AM start time), when she’s likely to have the whole day free. Or if you can’t, after 7 PM Monday through Thursday is good.

But avoid Friday and Saturday. Especially Friday and Saturday nights.

Why? Well, most girls are busy then. Or at least they’d like you to think they’re busy then. Any girl who’s read The Rules knows she’s not supposed to agree to a date Friday or Saturday night. Makes her seem too available, after all.

On top of this, you don’t want to seem too available. You’re a single guy. Shouldn’t you be out partying on Friday night? Or maybe hooking up with a friend-with-benefits? Having drinks with the boys? If you’re free on a weekend night – especially if she isn’t – you risk looking a little, well... lame.

However, there’s a catch here. And that catch is that if you can pull off a Friday night or Saturday night date, you get a date during the most sex-primed part of the week. It’s easier to sleep with girls on Friday or Saturday night. And if you get them out one-on-one with you on Friday or Saturday night? Hoo boy.

The art, of course, is how to get girls out for a Friday night date or a Saturday night date, without the seeming like the guy with no plans and no social life. That’s the real trick.