Dating

We men hate drama. But it has its uses. Women use it to test their men, but we can use it to put our foot down and demand respect without harming the relationship.

Men generally have a distaste for drama.

But women love it. They thrive on it. If it didn’t excite them, they wouldn’t create it so much – or at least not in the way they do. Their ambiguous behavior tangles us in a web of seduction and riles us up.

Women enjoy drama, but it also has a function. They use it to test your mettle and how much you care about them – or to express a problem within the relationship.

As men, the only time we should ever start drama is to express an issue we have. We have no need to test women with drama. It is an unnecessary step. We also have no need to test if women care about us – they will show us. We are not women. Unfortunately, many guys act like women in relationships. They start drama all the time and are gossips in their social lives, too.

In my experience, a man only needs to start drama when she crosses a line of respect with you or begins to turn into the kind of woman you no longer want to be with.

Let’s go through those two scenarios and how you should start drama in cases where it can be useful. We will aim for maximum effect and as little drama as necessary. As with everything, the law of least effort applies here. We do not like drama. If you must start it, you probably won’t enjoy it, so make it as simple as possible and easy to end quickly after it’s fulfilled its purpose.

Sometimes a girl will flake because she sees you as unattainable or as too high or low value. Here’s how to react, pass her tests, and get her to show up.

We were supposed to meet at 7 for drinks one weekday evening.

I sent her an anti-flake text at 11:10am that said “See you tonight, lady,” to which she did not respond. I showed up at the venue at 6:05 and didn’t see her anywhere.

I sent another: “Just got here.” Then I waited. I knew what was happening. I didn’t hear from her until 7:20.

“Hey! Sorry – lost track of time, such a busy day. I’m just going to shower quickly and then I’ll head over that way.”

We were going to have drinks about five minutes walking distance from her own apartment.

By the time she showed up, it was 8:45. In the meantime, I chatted with my buddies on my laptop, had a beer, and wrote about 1000 words of this article.

She arrived about two hours late and apologized profusely, but I could tell she was nervous as hell, and I knew why.

We didn’t go home together that night, but it’s only because she didn’t see me as attainable for what she was looking for at the time, and I ended up being too needy in my behavior. However, up to that point, everything was handled.

You might be asking, “Why in the world would Varoon wait almost two hours for a girl to show up to a date? I’d probably have left after about fifteen minutes.” Normally, if a girl is that late, I’ll just text her, reschedule, and preserve my own time.

However, this situation was completely different because the core issue in the girl’s behavior was my attainability, not my value. Just understanding that required a completely different strategy to handle the issue and preserve my chances. This girl knew my value and thus wanted to slow-play the dating process. To get her, I realized I had to play into that.

Want an easy way to make a girl want it more in the bedroom? Make your physical escalation go 10% slower than she wants it to go.

One of the biggest aspects of sexual enjoyment is not the actual sex itself.

During the act itself, you might use good technique and be passionate. These things help up a woman's enjoyment (and yours).

But like a young child biding his time until Christmas, it is the anticipation that heightens her enjoyment of the experience most. Good sex (like a good Christmas) is magnitudes better with proper buildup and anticipation before it.

How do you build all that anticipation in her? I talked about some ways in an article some years back: "How to Turn a Girl On: 3 Tiers of Sexual Excitement."

Today I'll talk about another way: escalating just slightly slower than she wants you to.

Relationship insecurity and loss of respect are common culprits when women create drama. Here’s how to identify the root of the issue and nip it in the bud.

The drama is never done with your girlfriend. There will always be drama, regardless of whether you did anything to annoy her, anger her, or make her feel insecure.

If you’re running the relationship well, drama will be low. You run a relationship well by providing her with good dick and enough adventure to satisfy her. You maintain her respect by being a man with pride and self-respect and by making her feel secure that you won’t randomly leave her without due cause.

Of course, her personality and propensity for anxiety, depression, anger, jealousy, and other drama-causing emotions play a huge role in how often she starts drama. That’s why picking a girl carefully is paramount for a healthy long-term relationship.

Nevertheless, you will eventually do something to upset her or she’ll be upset about something in her life and it will make her over-sensitive to normally acceptable behavior – then she’ll take it out on you.

This is fine. Drama is good. Without drama, we’d get bored. My primary reactions to drama are annoyance or anger – but occasionally, I enjoy it. The ups and downs addict us. Plus, it’s fun to watch her get horny when you win an argument. It’s great when she was mad at you but she’s forgiven you for something – you may be a bastard, but you’re her bastard.

However, you need to know how to finish drama. And one tip that will save you a lot of frustration is this: drama isn’t usually over after one fight – or even one discussion.

If the drama was anything beyond a small misunderstanding, it might take two, three, or even more talks to settle the fire, and days could pass between each discussion. You’ll think everything is fine, that you solved the issue, but then a few days later, you’ll notice she’s in a mood, and you’ll ask yourself, “What did I do now?” You’ll wonder and wonder, then prod and prod, asking her what’s up. You’ll get the infamous “nothing” response. Then you keep nagging.

Yes, keep nagging. Don’t let her get away with answering “nothing” when it’s clearly something. That will show you to be insensitive to her emotions, which makes her feel like you don’t understand her. It’s your job as a boyfriend to take care of her emotions. You’re her lover and, in some ways, her father.

If a girlfriend won’t spit it out, I’ll say to her, “Okay, we’ll I’ve asked multiple times now and you won’t tell me what’s wrong. Later, if you tell me something was wrong, I’m going to be pissed. This is your chance.” Usually, she will tell me at this point. If she doesn’t and complains about something later, I’ll have morally righteous anger on my side, which is very powerful in drama.

“Woman, I told you…”

Works like a charm.

Once you find out what’s wrong, it’s time to deal with the problem. This is done in two steps.

When your multiple-relationship lifestyle fills beyond capacity, one or more aspects will suffer. This advice will help you minimize heartbreak and stay on track.

Welcome back to the How to Build a Harem series, aimed at making you proficient in the art of dating several women long term.

• In Part 1, we talked about Queen Theory and why all the girls you’re dating must always feel like your number-one girl.

• In Part 2, we talked about some of the differences and issues between monogamous and non-monogamous dating structures.

• In a supplement to the series, we talked about how to manage the inevitable jealousy that occurs in a harem and the role of discretion.

• In Part 3, we talked about compartments and the role of precedence in how you treat the girls in your system.

In Part 4, we’re going to talk about the different tiers of girlfriends and how your lifestyle and capacity for girls work together. One of the most important things to understand about creating harems and dating multiple women is your own capacity to do so.

The whole point of the harem system is to be able to date the girls you like in a capacity which suits you, while also maintaining room to meet, sleep with, and date new girls when such opportunities arise. To do this, a man must structure his harem carefully.

What does it take to be a gentleman who attracts women? Present yourself well, be respectful, and fulfill her need to be ravaged in the bedroom.

Every good student aims to follow in the footsteps of his mentors. I, therefore, dedicate this article to Chase Amante. It’s my pleasure to stand on the shoulders of a giant and offer my thoughts on what I’ve learned from him about being a gentleman.

In his article on how to be a gentleman, Chase’s main premise is that you can be respectful and treat women well but still bed them quickly. I want to take that a step further and go into detail about how you can be a dirty MF – while also being a gentleman.

Let’s start with threads.

It's grown trickier and trickier for bachelor men to navigate the dating world… without getting snared by a scorned woman's revenge. Here's how to stay safe out there.

"Every man is a potential rapist."

So goes the pop culture wisdom sweeping the West right now. 'Rape culture' hysteria has built to a fevered pitch throughout the 2010s, to the point where hiding under every bed, lurking inside every wardrobe, a Rapist lies in wait... eager to pounce on his hapless victim and ravage her with his Weapon of Oppression, the penis.

I try not to go into culture-specific issues too much on Girls Chase. Same with era-specific issues. "This too will pass"; and once it's over people will find it insane and unrelatable. "Was it really that bad?" they will ask.

We've talked about all this stuff on Girls Chase before in different articles. Today's is a bit of a tie-up article though, because as the West hits peak hysteria, Western men's paranoia is peaking as well. I see more and more and more stuff from men who are freaking out that talking to women or sleeping with them is going to land them in a penitentiary, with the 'sex offender' label slapped to their backs forever when they get out.

So let's talk about staying safe meeting girls in a hysterical, paranoid dating society.