Confidence | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

11 Mindsets and Mentalities Master Pick Up Artists Use (and 3 They Avoid)

pickup artist mindset
Successful pick up artists treat their outings very differently from how most men do. This includes mindsets on rejection, ‘the zone’, panning for gold, and more.

Beliefs have a strange way of becoming truth.

Ever since I started on my journey of seduction mastery, I was told time and again that if I could only think how successful guys thought, I would get the same results. Well, I’ve come to find there is a lot of truth in this. So today I want to teach you a few of those essential mindsets that make a man phenomenal at getting new women.

Many of the thoughts going through your head that are counterproductive to success with women will not change from practice in the field. I have seen too many guys go out night after night simply to reinforce the thoughts that make their nights go south. And of course they can’t recognize the ill effects and negative feedback loops.

We’ve all heard self-help gurus talk about self-fulfilling prophecies: whatever you believe will happen will happen, causing your perception of how the world works to be reinforced. So when it comes to changing your thoughts, know that a lot of the work is going to come during your quiet time when you can sit down and visualize a night when you use the incredible tools I am about to give you.

Are You a Unique, Special Individual? You're Probably Missing the Basics

unique special
Sometimes you don’t want to follow the instructions. The instructions are for other folks, not you! But if you still aren’t getting results, maybe it’s time to change things up.

Over the years, we’ve seen myriad guys come and go who struggle with a specific problem. These guys are among the most frustrated folks we see at Girls Chase. Not only are they frustrated themselves, but they frustrate everyone who tries to help them, too.

You see, what they want is a magic pill. They want you to tell them how to do everything you teach guys how to do – only they want you to teach them to do it faster and easier than how you teach all those other guys how to do it.

It doesn’t matter how fast the method you’re teaching is. It could take two weeks to work; they’d still want to know how to do it in four days. When you finally persuade them to put the work in, they take a couple of half-hearted shots at it, all their dreams don’t instantly come true, and they give up. It’s too hard, they’re too unmotivated they say. Then they want you to motivate them. Or, even better, give them some kind of shortcut you haven’t told them about before.

We’ve seen it a lot on the discussion boards. Some of the guys we banned in 2017 were long-time members who kept asking for magic pills, chafing at the suggestion when other members suggested they start with the basics, then whined about how hard it was and how unfair their situations were.

And I wondered to myself: “What the heck is these guys’ problems? Why can’t they just do the work and quit whining about it? Why do they ask for magic pills over and over and over again? They’ve GOT all my stuff – and all everybody else’s stuff – right here on the darn site!”

Sure, there’s a lot of material here, and it can be hard to know where to start. That’s why we have the quiz and our programs, though. Both of those are condensed information that takes you through a guided process. There’s also the newbie assignment on the boards, which only takes 14 days and a little courage to do. We have paths for guys who are new and want to start getting results. But some guys don’t take them – then not only don’t they follow the paths we’ve laid out for them, but they continue to complain about not getting results anyway. What’s going on with people like this?

Well, as it turns out, a piece of scientific research fresh off the presses (published at the end of December) has figured out what’s going on with people who do this.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to be Mindful (and Learn 10x Faster)

how to be mindful
When you set out to form new habits and self-improve, a big part of this is how to remember to make these adjustments in the first place.

Reader Kalyan writes in with a question about learning fundamentals:

hey, i just noticed that your website lacks a very important article (or maybe i dont know of it. if thats the case please send me link(s)). i know fundamentals are important. and everyone knows eye contact is important for example.. but i find it very hard to consistently remember to consciously focus on eye contact... i feel because of that, mastering individual fundamentals like that is much slower. so, an article about how to learn or focus on fundamentals would be helpful. i know its a good idea to work on one aspect at a time, but how could you actually remember to work on even one thing when youre out and talking to women?

It’s an interesting question, and in fact is one more concerned with mindfulness – the act of attunement to what is occurring both around you and within your head in the present moment – than the pure raw process of learning fundamentals.

The process of learning fundamentals themselves is straightforward:

  1. Pick a fundamental to work on, be that eye contact, posture, vocal intonation, or another

  2. Decide what to alter or improve in this fundamental

  3. Make that alteration/improvement over and over across the next 30-90 days

  4. Every time you notice yourself not doing it the way you want to do it, correct yourself

  5. After 1-3 months (and many hundreds of internal reminders) have passed, it’s now automatic

This process can transform you into a man with impeccable, powerful body language, mannerisms, and behavior in a relatively short time (six months to a year for really complete change; though you’ll start to see the effects of this exercise as soon as you begin work on it).

Yet you must remember to remind yourself to adopt these better fundamentals to change them.

What if you can simply never remember to do it?

How to Demand Respect, Pt 5: Show Auto-Rejection to Make Her Chase

show auto-rejection
Advanced disrespect-handling tech: if she goes too far, show your displeasure – and get her to chase after you to make it right.

Welcome back to Part 5 of this series.

If you have not read them yet, read Parts 1 through 4 here:

Onto the topic of Part 5: using auto-rejection to make girls chase you.

Hopefully, you don’t get to this point.

It’s much better if, after reading the previous articles in this series, you stomp out disrespectful behavior before it gets big enough that you have to auto-reject.

The best way to get out of a choke hold is to not get caught in one.

But sometimes, shit happens, and you end up in a choke hold.

How to Become Popular: 6 Awesome Personal Adjustments

how to become popular
Popularity is achievable for almost anyone willing to make a few changes. Warmth, behaving as-if, and the Golden Rule of Friendship are 3 parts of it.

My friends nowadays never believe me when I tell them this, but when I was much younger, I had issues with making friends and getting women to like me.

I have a hard time believing it myself sometimes. All those memories seem like a distant nightmare, from days sitting alone in stalls eating lunch, to desperately trying to make friends – just to be scoffed at. From my clumsy attempts to talk to women, to finding only laughter where all I wanted was love.

Today, things are a lot different. If you were to talk to anyone in my native city of Las Vegas or mention my name on the strip, a good one in twenty locals will have heard about me – and possibly even talked to me. I have my choice of women, and more friends than I can keep up with. My social life is almost a job in and of itself.

And it doesn’t end there. Not only did I take the time to build a social circle in my home town, I also have the ability to use my status in a club full of strangers.

But what did I do to change? How did I go from being a shy guy to a loudmouth with a silver tongue?

My journey was a long one. It took many years to refine myself and get a direction. But with enough time and effort, I got to where I wanted to be. When I look back on it all, I know that if I had the tips I am about to give you, I could have more than halved the time it took to get to this point.

How to Demand Respect, Pt 4: Direct and Indirect Disrespect

indirect disrespect
Others can disrespect you in both direct and indirect ways. Each requires a different strategy to deal with properly.

Welcome back. We’ve finally made it to the rough and dirty part.

To get here, we first had to accept that the self is everything and you should love yourself with godlike pride.

In part 2, we examined some myths surrounding pride.

Then in part 3, we covered how to spot disrespect in its different forms.

Now it’s time to explore when and how to take action and demand respect.

How to Demand Respect, Pt 2: The 3 Myths of Pride

myth of pride
There’s a myth in various spheres that pride is wrong. Yet a man who cannot project and protect his pride is a man others cannot respect.

People love telling others to be less egotistical, selfish, rude, arrogant, etc.

Why?

Simple.

If one can convince another to adopt their moral framework, their worldview wins. It dominates. It’s quite gratifying to convert someone to a cause. The dominator now knows how the dominated will act – he can predict their moves and manipulate them. It also reinforces his own worldview. If enough people believe something, others are far more likely to buy into it.

Moral policing is about power and nothing else.

The most pervasive of moral policing, besides outright calling someone evil – the ultimate nuke of moral superiorityis to call someone prideful.

The implied argument behind the shaming is that pride is bad.

Sure, self-respect is good, they say, but don’t be prideful. That’s wrong.

But as I covered in part 1 of this series, the self is everything; thus, respecting yourself, or pride, is your foremost drive in this life. No matter what you try to do or try to believe, it will always be tied to the self.

And if the self is everything, there is no distinction between pride and self-respect. You cannot have enough of something that is potentially infinite.

That’s like saying you can have too much money or pussy. The only people saying that are those with little, or those who have a lot but don’t want you to have it, too. Because if it was bad, why do they still have all that money and pussy?

Those looking to control you would have you believe there is such a thing as too much self-respect.

This is a Machiavellian tactic used by the weak or the powerful but scared.

The strong do not criticize others for being arrogant, unless their primary social tactic is subterfuge. This is mainly used by intermediate-level sociopaths. Convince others they’re prideful, that they should lower their guards – then strike. Genius, actually. It’s so clever in fact that it’s convinced entire nations to stop being prideful in their culture and heritage, to feel guilt for their greatness. They were convinced of the Myth of Pride, that pride is bad.

I will now tackle the three biggest myths that are derived from the false claim that pride is bad. These three have many permutations, so by covering these, I cover almost all misconceptions about pride. The Trinity of Falsity.

The Beginner's Quick Start Guide to Picking Up Girls and Dating

picking up girls
This guide lays out the major stages and steps to focus on for anyone new to picking up girls and dating women. Use it to get up and running fast.

Most of the boot camps I’ve held in my career as a dating coach have been with guys who were fairly weathered in their journey to success with women. But last week I found myself coaching a fresh-to-the-game kind of guy. Going out with me was among the first times he had ever gone out to approach women. But I was so used to dealing with guys who had at least some inkling of what success with women meant that I found myself utterly at a loss for words when it came to coaching someone this new.

That experience inspired me to write this article, in which I seek to not only give better advice to my student, but to provide something for anyone who is looking to make seduction a part of their lives. It’s something to help you avoid some of the pitfalls that made people like myself stumble back when we were new to learned success with women.

Going Out Momentum: Hot Streaks and Cold Streaks

going out hot streak
As you go out to talk to girls, you will come into hot streaks… and stumble into cold ones. This article is about why that happens.

I have on multiple occasions written about momentum as it relates to seduction. It’s one of those underlying mechanisms that profoundly affects your vibe, mindset, and results with women.

Today I will focus on some pickup theory that will help you make sense of the “unlearning mechanism” that takes place in your journey. I’ll discuss why many can experience some negative momentum after a positive streak. In fact, I will explore how there is an equilibrium effect at work that balances things out.

Momentum is the overall state of mind in which you find yourself during a period of time that snowballs and affects your results moving forward. Positive momentum denotes a good state of mind, which in turn, results in a sexier vibe. You get onto a hot streak. Negative momentum, however, generates a negative state of mind, giving you an unsexy vibe. You slide into a cold streak.

Momentum can snowball in a positive or a negative direction. For instance, if you approach three girls and they all seem receptive to you, positive momentum is created and your vibe becomes sexier and more attractive. If you get rejected harshly three times in a row, the momentum works the opposite way.

The example above is a case of what I have referred to as micro momentum. It’s the momentum that affects you on a micro level – during a night out, for example.

Macro momentum, on the other hand, takes into account the bigger picture – the overall momentum over a longer period of time. For instance, some of you may have noticed how summer holidays tend to be more wild. You may rack up lays during the summer, feeling like a true god of seduction. Things may even start to seem too easy and straight forward. And you feel this way until you experience some disruption in macro momentum. Let’s say that during the winter you may, for whatever reason, have less success with women or find it very difficult to meet new women. You then develop a case of negative macro momentum.

How to Demand Respect from Others, Pt 1: The Self Is Everything

demand respect
If you want respect, you must be able to demand respect. The first part of this, however, is to realize you will never destroy your ego – so you might as well work with it.

There is an undercurrent of pseudo-philosophical thinking in the manosphere and the seduction community that needs to be revealed for what it is.

I have also been guilty of allowing this false thinking. This is as much a self-correction as it is a monumental criticism that strikes at the heart of many a grandmaster’s conclusion.

I call it the Egolessness Fallacy.

It is the fallacious thinking that having no ego is the best way to succeed with women.

The thinking goes as such: “Without an ego, where is thy sting, rejection?” There is no one there to be rejected.

This is *very* close to truth, but that which is closest to truth but not truth is the most devious lie.

I reckon this is how the falsity was woven.

If you go far enough in any skill, you will learn how to learn. You will learn how you learn, which means you’ll come to know how emotions affect you, stick with you, and how your thinking works.

The journey of seduction is perhaps one of the most direct paths to learning oneself, save for meditation, since you are the subject who is both acting and being evaluated. In any sport, you are the one carrying the ball or kicking the ball, yes, but the end goal is something impersonal. The other team or your team gets scored on. You are somewhat detached from the loss or victory (though it doesn’t always feel that way, of course).

With game, however, the woman has to accept you for there to be victory.

Furthermore, victory is mutual. You get pussy and she gets cock. You both win.

This means you are not so focused on the other person losing as you are with a traditional sport; you’re instead focused on two paradoxical outcomes.

You need her to want to submit to you.

However, the paradox is revealed when you consider that a woman does not submit to her equal or subordinate. It doesn’t make sense. She wants to submit, but she doesn’t win by submitting to a man who can’t make her submit.

One could be equitable and argue you need to be more dominant than her, but in practicality, this is going to look and feel like you are greater than her. Philosophize all you want, you must be her superior if you want to have sex fast.

You > her.

Don’t see the paradox yet? Alright, here it is.