Confidence | Page 5 | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

The Death of Approach Anxiety: A 10-Year Reflection (Video)

I turn 27 years old tomorrow, but I have put multiple lifetimes of work into mastering the art of seduction. I have given it almost every second of my attention for the past 10 years. I have (literally) beat myself up learning the ins and outs of the female mind.

There are still some mysteries that remain for me, but they are few, and so I want to commemorate my 10-year journey with a video on the #1 problem that most men face when finding women they want to sleep with, date, marry, or even have children with.

Approach anxiety.

It is the BIGGEST problem that all men have.

I had it HORRIBLY in my teenage years.

Then, one day, for the most part, it turned off.

Of course, I'm human and still even encounter approach anxiety to this day, but what happened when I "woke up" is that the anxiety was overcome by something greater....

This is an ode to the death of approach anxiety. A death to that which keeps most of you from finding the girl(s) of your dreams.

The Moment That Propelled Me Relentlessly Forward as a Man

experience changes a man
Throughout life, we have opportunities to gain experiences that free our minds and build our character, leaving us forever changed. This is the moment that freed me.

Some moments in life change everything. In those moments, you draw back a curtain that reveals more than you ever bargained for, and it changes you forever.

This is my story of that moment, after which my journey to seduction mastery went ahead full speed.

I have understood this story in my own way for many years, but I have never before been able to truly do it justice until now.

I was discussing this with someone casually today, and for some reason, I found the right words to describe how I felt inside. I figured, why not share it with you guys?

Not Getting the Results You Want? Change Something About Yourself

no results? change yourself
If you’ve ever been stuck in a rut – and got out of it – you may have noticed your emergence came with a change. Here’s why to embrace change rather than stagnate.

Trial and error is an essential process in learning about and developing yourself. It can apply to many aspects of life, especially with women and dating. It can be hard to admit that something you’re doing when it comes to dating may not be working in your favor.

Obviously, if you knew that, it wouldn’t be a problem, so to process this, it’s beneficial to think about your past relationships or hookups. If you realize that your current method in whatever you are pursuing isn’t benefiting you, then the natural response should be to change your method to get different results – ideally positive results.

This change can happen on many levels: your appearance, social circle, or daily activities. Change may even occur on a more personal level that could, in turn, shape your perspective on what type of women interest you. More importantly, know that you have many resources available to help you make the change necessary. In changing something about yourself, know that you don’t have to be a guinea pig.

How Sexual Hangups Form a Wall Between You and Getting Laid

sexual hangups and getting laid
Getting laid is a matter of putting out a sexual vibe, getting horny, and getting naked. Those things are much easier when you’re super comfortable having a penis.

Whenever I start with a new coaching client, I ask them this question:

“What do you want?”

Since most of them are incredibly nice guys, they say, “I want to improve my social skills.”

Yeah? What else?”

“I want to be able to be comfortable in social situations, and express myself authentically.”

“Right,” I reply. “How about this question: Do you want to have sex with hot girls?”

They shift uncomfortably, avert eye contact, and eventually agree, that yes, they do; though they have a hard time actually saying it.

“How many?” I ask.

“I don’t know.”

“One? Three? One hundred? Would you like to sleep with one hundred beautiful women?”

They smile and nod. They aren’t sure. They’ve never really thought about it.

“Well,” I continue. “Let’s start with one. Would you like to sleep with one beautiful girl?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes!”

“By when? When do you want to get laid?”

“Ummm, when I have the confidence and…”

I cut them off. “How about today?”

“What?”

“Yeah. Would you like to shag a beautiful girl today?”

A smile spreads across their face. That wouldn’t be so bad. But usually, they’re not sure; they’re unable to say it – that they want to have hot, sweaty, pounding sex with a nymph, and not just improve their social skills.

A Man's Legitimacy

man's legitimacy
A man’s legitimacy in the eyes of others determines what he can and cannot do. And as legitimacy falls, it influences how that man reacts.

A few weeks ago, I posted about the concept of increasing complexity in the mating market. In it I talked about some ideas inspired by Joseph Tainter's Collapse.

Today I want to talk about one more idea the book inspired. That's legitimacy.

In Collapse, Tainter discusses a society's need to maintain its legitimacy. That the more a society struggles to prove its legitimacy to the people who live within that society, the more it has to direct resources into displays to uphold its legitimacy (like monumental architecture, or war with neighbors to inspire patriotism) or into efforts to coerce its population to go along with things and to stifle dissent.

In fact, not long before a society enters a collapse, its construction of monumental architecture often reaches its peak. Despite the fact that there are fewer and fewer resources available as societies slump toward collapse, the society throws more and more of its shrinking resources into larger and larger buildings and monuments. Likewise, as societies proceed toward collapse, coercion increases, social trust erodes, and everyone ends up looking over his shoulder for those who might imply he's guilty of doing/thinking the forbidden.

All this is fascinating when you apply it to civilizations.

But as I read Tainter, it occurred to me his work applies to men as well.

Because just like a civilization, a man must also labor to establish legitimacy.

And just like a civilization, as a man's legitimacy crumbles, he struggles, often futilely, to uphold it with increasingly grand, or increasingly draconian, ways.

More Tools to Help Conquer Your Fear of Approaching Women

fear of approaching women
If you want to get laid, approach lots of girls. Sounds simple, but what if approaching women terrifies you? These tools will help you conquer your fears.

Approach anxiety is the #1 problem every guy thinks he has.

I say “thinks he has” because once you get over your irrational fear of striking up conversations with attractive women, a whole world of dating possibilities bloom. But you can’t even seed that journey if you’re too afraid to approach.

#2 is knowing “what to say” to girls.

The two are connected.

You don’t approach because you don’t know what to say – you don’t know what to say because you don’t approach. It’s a paradox with a very simple and logical solution.

Secrets to Being Fearless as a Man (Video)

Fear.

What a monstrous topic.

What an enemy.

He may be the ultimate enemy.

How do you deal with him? What makes a man truly fearless?

How to be fearless?

Totally fearless? Well, that's a huge undertaking.

Let's start with discovering the reasons behind fear and then work from that foundation to see what it means to be a fearless man?

How to Attract Women Whether You’re Good Looking or Not

Attract Women Whether You’re Good Looking or Not
Looks are important, but even stunners can be unattractive at times. Here are the variables that, if properly addressed, can make practically anyone attractive to women.

Hey, guys.

Last week I shared a post about how “attractive guys” can pick up girls by maximizing the positive effects of their strengths while minimizing the negative effects of their weaknesses.

Today’s post is a follow-up for those guys who may not be considered attractive. However, you are not that worse off. The way you look is not the only factor that determines attractiveness and unattractiveness.

Many factors that define a man’s attractiveness are not static. This means that a good-looking, hot guy, or a high-value guy may at some point be very attractive, only to fade into a huge loser depending on the circumstances (we will get into that). This post is also for guys who are good-looking and perhaps have high social value – because any guy can go from being super hot to unattractive. I will get into why that is, but the quick answer is that hot guys also have down times when their mojo is low.

Because these variables are fluid, there is room for all guys to become more attractive. Let’s discuss these variables first.

How Women Test Men in the Face of Sexual Desire

tests in the face of sexual desire
If you show sexual desire toward a girl you just met, she’ll throw tests your way. If you pass with flying colors, she might get excited to have sex with you.

In my last article, we covered why it’s important to show aggressive desire to women. Too few men are doing this properly, so now you can – and should – be one of the exceptions.

What I’ve observed is that overall, guys have regressed socially. A friend and I went to a New Year’s Eve party in San Diego, and we didn’t see any men approach women in a 1,000+ person party… until around 1:00 am when every single guy was needily – and horribly – approaching every single woman they could. They got rejected after 5 minutes or less every time. This happened over and over throughout the venue.

By 1:30 am the walls put up by every single woman in that venue were sky high – even a good approach wouldn’t be entertained, unless value had been built earlier in the night when the opportunity was there. So, it’s always better to be the exception to the rule.

However, being the exception also means women will test for authenticity harder, faster, and stronger.

“I've seen it all.”

Have you ever heard this from women? I have – it’s funny when they say this because they already know all the typical emotions of a guy if they’ve had enough experience (and if they’ve been screwed over by men enough times). Despite this, you can still entertain women with your antics as long as you rebuff their tests, stay, and maintain a fun and sexy frame.

“I know exactly what you guys want.”

This is another classic test. Last time I heard it, I looked at her straight in the eye with a boyish grin and smiled as though I was enjoying myself, which I was. After a short silence, I said, “So what? Have you also seen when guys do this?” And I lightly grabbed and squeezed her ass, in a way that no one else around us could see.

“Stop!”

She pulled away a little bit, laughed and smiled at me playfully while she said it – clearly she was annoyed, but she was having fun, too. I smiled and went right back to talking about something else. We cooled off for a little while, but she came right back and locked hands with me after that. That was a first date, and we had great sex that night.

Since I recognized her tests and signals, and passed with flying colors, I knew I'd be going home with this girl, and it was fine to do it. I wouldn't recommend it if you're not absolutely sure that a girl sexually desires you. For my style, it was great – playful, fun, sexual banter. She said something that I recognized that she was testing me on, and my response was to be aggressively playful and show some sexual desire – which probably turned her on. She pulled away because we were in public – she wouldn't want our antics to be seen by anyone around her.

When you're trying to go for sex with a woman, she's going to test you. It's in her nature to do that. The real reason that women test men is that they're used to seeing all sorts of tricks by men – and no girl wants to feel like a guy is just trying to get his rocks off inside her like she’s some random girl. No girl wants to feel like she's being masturbated into. Even if it's for one night, she still wants sex to be passionate and mind-blowing – she needs the man to give her his full attention, not just to treat her like a sex doll.

What a girl tests for is how strong a man’s desire for her really is.

Day Game Tour with Tony Depp, Pt.6: The High Five Game

day game high five
Give that chick a high five! Sounds pretty simple, right? But for beginners, it can be a challenge and a great way to learn the fundamentals of day game.

In part 5 of my day game tour, we covered various tips and tricks for day game, like warm-ups, hired guns, transitioning from indirect to direct, and more.

Today’s article is a dive into an exercise I employ in boot camps, and I’ll explain why it’s incredibly powerful for improving your day game.

As a coach, I’ve learned that teaching game is more than pointing and saying “Go talk to her.” The challenge is to nail down lessons on fundamentals, like vocal tonality, body language, and verbal game. You want experiences that push your comfort zone and give you reference memories so that you aren’t stumped when you encounter similar situations.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s one reason why learning game is so hard. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between going to war, and embarrassing yourself in public.

You have to train it.

Also, women love men who “don’t give a fuck.” If you are so embarrassed or worried about social fear that you can’t even give someone a high five… then you give way too many fucks.

On that note, here’s one of my favorite day-game exercises.