Confidence | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

The Phenomenal Seductive Power of Being Present

being present
Presence is a remarkable, awe-inspiring quality. And if you can learn to be present, you can use it to incredible effect with the opposite sex.

‘Presence’ is a difficult concept to write about, because it is so difficult to describe.

It’s an intangible, ephemeral thing.

You know when you are with someone who possesses it. You can feel the force of this person’s attention. It is like his eyes have tractor beams; his words carry magnets. You feel sucked in and humbled by this powerful, awesome individual.

What creates this effect? In part, it’s presence.

There’s a bit more to the overall effect an individual has on you than presence, of course. There’s also confidence, dominance, charisma, social rank, perceived value, and a whole host of other things. The word ‘presence’ often gets used as a catch-all term to mean “all these varied intangible elements on display, in force”, but we’re going to be a lot more specific today.

Today we’re only going to talk about the literal meaning of the word ‘presence’: actually being completely present with another person, right there, in the moment.

Conquer Approach Anxiety with The Approach Game

the approach game
This fun, simple game is designed to banish anxiety and work out the kinks in your approaches. All you need is a wingman, a clock, and a woman-laden environment.

Very early in my seduction journey, right after deciding I (finally) wanted to get better with women and (finally) learn how to sleep with them effortlessly, I faced the biggest hurdle of all – getting started. After all, every resource, coach, and seminar I checked out mentioned cold approach as the best skill to learn and improve with women.

It was suggested that I set aside several hours a day several times a week to learn how to approach women, just to get started. However, therein lay the rub – approaching women.

What a scary proposition! After having lost my virginity in my early twenties, then finally having my first girlfriend at 22, I still had no confidence or understanding of what women wanted or how they wanted to be approached.

I felt nervous, afraid; and each time, fear ran through my veins. This is a woman. What if she rejects me? What if she doesn’t like me? How will she feel about me? How will she perceive me? How will I feel about myself if she rejects me?

I started by walking through the streets of my newest home – New York City – where day game opportunities were plentiful and hot women wandered the streets alone every single day. And yet, each time I passed a hot woman that I fancied, I talked myself out of an approach.

Tactics Tuesdays: Girl Blinders

girl blinders
Do you want to talk to a girl, but there’re people around and you feel unconfident? Put on ‘girl blinders’, and make your audience disappear.

You’re out in public. Could be on the train, on a street, in a bar, in a café, in a grocery store. You see a cute girl. She gives you a coy glance and you think she’d like to meet.

Only then... you take a glance yourself at all the people around you. There are a lot of them. If you approach that girl, they’ll notice.

You’ve never spoken to these people before. Odds are good you won’t see any of them again. Yet, they’ve immediately become the biggest obstacle to your approach. You may not even talk to this girl you’d like to meet, who looks like she’d like to meet you. All because there are people around, and you’re hesitant to approach in front of an audience.

There’s a simple little trick to get around this specific fear.

I call it ‘girl blinders’.

A Man's Girl Mix and His Jadedness

girl mix
The mix of girls you’ve dated and slept with informs your opinions of women. Different girl mixes can lead to very different thoughts about women.

As you make your way through life, and particularly as you make your way through seduction, you will discover different men at varying levels of ‘jaded’.

There are romantically inexperienced men who are incredibly optimistically naïve about women. There are romantically inexperienced men who are incredibly pessimistically naïve about women. Like all views formed from a distance, these are unrealistic views, punctured by the first few experiences with women in the flesh.

Once a man begins to accumulate romantic experience, his views on women shift toward the middle. The optimist discovers women are not as pure as he’d thought; the pessimist discovers women are not so devious as he’d feared.

Yet, from this intermediate middle point, as men accumulate still more sexual and romantic experience, their views diverge again.

All experienced men’s views on women are ‘realistic’. Yet the tenor of the views can differ wildly from man to man. They range from the experienced man who thinks women are sometimes tricky but mostly sweet, to the experienced man who thinks every woman is a siren, luring men who fall off their guards for even a moment to the rocks.

There’s one single, easy way to predict how jaded about women a man with some experience under his belt will be, though: look at the mix of women he’s been with.

Girls Who Sense Your Intentions and Don't Want You Anymore

girl sense your intentions
A woman senses you only want to hook up with her, and closes herself off to you. Why’d it happen – and how do you prevent this ‘closing off’?

On an article from about half a year ago, Art commented:

Has anyone noticed how women can sense if you don’t foresee a future relationship and put their guard up/ auto-reject? And then the women you DO want to become intimate with can sense a ‘strings-attached’ neediness, causing an imbalance? I’d love to get some insight on balancing attainability when being handsome yet shy. I get all kinds of signs from women that I’m excited to unlock, yet they can tell if it’s “real” or not very quickly and move on if the vibe isn’t real.

It's a common scenario. A girl who liked you before, who realizes you don't want her for what she wants or might want with you, and auto-rejects.

Odds are you've seen this plenty. You start to talk to a girl, she's into you, but you realize you don't want anything long-term with her. All of a sudden it's as if she read your mind, and she grows frigid. The magic fades, and she makes her exit.

This is frustrating when you're on a notch hunt. You want to get more women in bed, raise your experience level, and have fun... but you don't necessarily want to commit to every girl who finds her way into your bed.

Yet girls keep realizing it, and keep going cold to you. Is there a way to stop this happening?

Decision Making in Seduction IV: Mistakes Are Good

mistakes are good
Good decisions can get you laid tonight, but mistakes are what provide lessons that make you more successful with women down the road.

Gentlemen,

I hope you enjoyed my posts on decision making and handling wildcards – two very interrelated subjects. Today, I will share some final thoughts. Reading through these posts a second time, I have noticed there is one aspect that may lead to confusion or misunderstanding, and could become detrimental in the long term. I am going to clarify my take on this.

Some situations in field will cause difficulties that require good decisions to be made. The same goes for when you will have to deal with wildcards. You must remain cool-headed and try to find solutions, or simply move on. Decide which of the solutions you would like to stick with.

The latter can become a choice of whether to move on, whether to focus on building more compliance (which, as we discussed, is one of many solutions to lowering the detrimental effects of wildcards), or whether you want to deal with the wildcard. Sometimes the answer is straightforward. Sometimes it isn’t, and different solutions present themselves.

Nevertheless, when discussing these subjects, we have always kept in mind that you must make a decision that either gives you the best chance of getting to bang the girl or avoids wasting time, money, or energy on bad leads.

How to Handle Awkward Moments with Girls

Awkward moments are AWESOME!

No, really, they're lots of fun. Why? Because they are funny and a great opportunity to show a girl you can handle pressure. Lots of guys buckle under the pressure and try to hastily fill the void, often making themselves look visibly uncomfortable.

That's the opposite of what you should do. Rather, you should enjoy the moment and remain calm, then try one of three methods to move past the awkwardness and toward a more intimate moment with her.

Decision Making in Seduction III: Building and Keeping Momentum

building pickup momentum
Negative sexual momentum can spoil your interactions with women. But a good decision-making strategy helps break the trend – and can even reverse it.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. I hope you are enjoying this series on decision making so far. Making good decisions is key if you plan on reaching consistency in your results and increasing your odds of getting that girl.

Sometimes you will be stuck in situations where you will have to make calls, and you had better make the right one — making good or bad calls in these situations means the difference between a lay and no lay.

Today I will add a few more words on decision making, an expansion to my previous post. I will be sharing with you a few examples of mini-reports from the field where I have found myself in tricky situations and been forced to make decisions. I will share both success stories and failures.

How to Minimize the Luck Factor in Your Seductions

seduction luck
Luck will always play a role in the women you meet and how things go with them. Yet you can minimize the role luck plays, and tilt the odds your way, with a few simple tweaks.

We’re all familiar with the concept of luck.

It’s a notion with deep roots in a variety of cultures all around the world, as well as an assortment of fields ranging from business to sports, to strategy games, and other branches of knowledge.

But what about seduction – how does luck factor in? That’s the topic of today’s article.

It’s a valid question. After all, to the average guy (who probably doesn’t read Girls Chase), the very act of getting laid with a new woman is dubbed “getting lucky”. This paradigm is a large part of Western culture and has been for a long time. But what about seducers like you and me? Men who spend time and effort working on their girl-getting skills? How much does luck factor in for us?

Now, it isn’t really all that straightforward, but if you stick around to read today’s article, you’ll have a concrete answer to this question.

We’ll cover the main differences between the average guy and the seducer. How much does luck count for both, and what are the varying degrees among seducers? How might one be more reliant on luck than the other? And we’ll address a bunch of other important aspects on this topic, too.

Decision Making in Seduction II: Weighing the Variables

seduction variables
As a seducer, your decisions can trip you up… or set you up. How do you weigh the odds and decide whether to stick with a girl or find a better option?

Hey, guys!

Welcome back. So, last week we discussed the importance of cool-headedness and how it relates to better decision making in field, resulting in more lays and better odds of getting that girl. Today, we will discuss decision making itself. I will cover each of the variables I personally take into account when I’m making a decision.

There is an infinite number of variables to be taken into consideration when making decisions, depending on the situation, context, who you are, and your desires. Some situations are truly unique, and you will need to account for additional variables you did not initially take into consideration. For example, if a girl happens to have a boyfriend who turns out to be a gangster, you will have to factor that into your evaluation. Another example that comes to mind is interactions that lead to tricky social situations, such as banging your best friend’s ex – “don’t” is my go-to advice. You have to assess the consequences.

Another situation is double-pulling with a wingman like I do with my friend Pablo Garcia. Sure, we can go tandem, split up, and each leave with a girl, but we don’t see each other often and we get plenty of lays on our own. When we are together, it is because we want to pull together – we just find it so much more fun! However, if I screw up, Pablo is doomed and vice versa. Additionally, if he doesn’t hook, we can double-pull. Same goes for me if I don’t hook. Unless we both hook, we move on.

As you can see, different scenarios will offer new variables to take into consideration. The list I provide here is a starting point, things I think are key to keep in mind in most if not all situations. There is no way to write an article on in-field decision making and take into consideration every potential variable of every potential scenario. However, from this post, you can learn a lot about the overall mindset of decision making to use as you see fit. You can add your own variables to your equations if you wish. In fact, in certain circumstances, I recommend it.