Confidence | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

A Man's Girl Mix and His Jadedness

girl mix
The mix of girls you’ve dated and slept with informs your opinions of women. Different girl mixes can lead to very different thoughts about women.

As you make your way through life, and particularly as you make your way through seduction, you will discover different men at varying levels of ‘jaded’.

There are romantically inexperienced men who are incredibly optimistically naïve about women. There are romantically inexperienced men who are incredibly pessimistically naïve about women. Like all views formed from a distance, these are unrealistic views, punctured by the first few experiences with women in the flesh.

Once a man begins to accumulate romantic experience, his views on women shift toward the middle. The optimist discovers women are not as pure as he’d thought; the pessimist discovers women are not so devious as he’d feared.

Yet, from this intermediate middle point, as men accumulate still more sexual and romantic experience, their views diverge again.

All experienced men’s views on women are ‘realistic’. Yet the tenor of the views can differ wildly from man to man. They range from the experienced man who thinks women are sometimes tricky but mostly sweet, to the experienced man who thinks every woman is a siren, luring men who fall off their guards for even a moment to the rocks.

There’s one single, easy way to predict how jaded about women a man with some experience under his belt will be, though: look at the mix of women he’s been with.

Girls Who Sense Your Intentions and Don't Want You Anymore

girl sense your intentions
A woman senses you only want to hook up with her, and closes herself off to you. Why’d it happen – and how do you prevent this ‘closing off’?

On an article from about half a year ago, Art commented:

Has anyone noticed how women can sense if you don’t foresee a future relationship and put their guard up/ auto-reject? And then the women you DO want to become intimate with can sense a ‘strings-attached’ neediness, causing an imbalance? I’d love to get some insight on balancing attainability when being handsome yet shy. I get all kinds of signs from women that I’m excited to unlock, yet they can tell if it’s “real” or not very quickly and move on if the vibe isn’t real.

It's a common scenario. A girl who liked you before, who realizes you don't want her for what she wants or might want with you, and auto-rejects.

Odds are you've seen this plenty. You start to talk to a girl, she's into you, but you realize you don't want anything long-term with her. All of a sudden it's as if she read your mind, and she grows frigid. The magic fades, and she makes her exit.

This is frustrating when you're on a notch hunt. You want to get more women in bed, raise your experience level, and have fun... but you don't necessarily want to commit to every girl who finds her way into your bed.

Yet girls keep realizing it, and keep going cold to you. Is there a way to stop this happening?

Decision Making in Seduction IV: Mistakes Are Good

mistakes are good
Good decisions can get you laid tonight, but mistakes are what provide lessons that make you more successful with women down the road.

Gentlemen,

I hope you enjoyed my posts on decision making and handling wildcards – two very interrelated subjects. Today, I will share some final thoughts. Reading through these posts a second time, I have noticed there is one aspect that may lead to confusion or misunderstanding, and could become detrimental in the long term. I am going to clarify my take on this.

Some situations in field will cause difficulties that require good decisions to be made. The same goes for when you will have to deal with wildcards. You must remain cool-headed and try to find solutions, or simply move on. Decide which of the solutions you would like to stick with.

The latter can become a choice of whether to move on, whether to focus on building more compliance (which, as we discussed, is one of many solutions to lowering the detrimental effects of wildcards), or whether you want to deal with the wildcard. Sometimes the answer is straightforward. Sometimes it isn’t, and different solutions present themselves.

Nevertheless, when discussing these subjects, we have always kept in mind that you must make a decision that either gives you the best chance of getting to bang the girl or avoids wasting time, money, or energy on bad leads.

How to Handle Awkward Moments with Girls

Awkward moments are AWESOME!

No, really, they're lots of fun. Why? Because they are funny and a great opportunity to show a girl you can handle pressure. Lots of guys buckle under the pressure and try to hastily fill the void, often making themselves look visibly uncomfortable.

That's the opposite of what you should do. Rather, you should enjoy the moment and remain calm, then try one of three methods to move past the awkwardness and toward a more intimate moment with her.

Decision Making in Seduction III: Building and Keeping Momentum

building pickup momentum
Negative sexual momentum can spoil your interactions with women. But a good decision-making strategy helps break the trend – and can even reverse it.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. I hope you are enjoying this series on decision making so far. Making good decisions is key if you plan on reaching consistency in your results and increasing your odds of getting that girl.

Sometimes you will be stuck in situations where you will have to make calls, and you had better make the right one — making good or bad calls in these situations means the difference between a lay and no lay.

Today I will add a few more words on decision making, an expansion to my previous post. I will be sharing with you a few examples of mini-reports from the field where I have found myself in tricky situations and been forced to make decisions. I will share both success stories and failures.

How to Minimize the Luck Factor in Your Seductions

seduction luck
Luck will always play a role in the women you meet and how things go with them. Yet you can minimize the role luck plays, and tilt the odds your way, with a few simple tweaks.

We’re all familiar with the concept of luck.

It’s a notion with deep roots in a variety of cultures all around the world, as well as an assortment of fields ranging from business to sports, to strategy games, and other branches of knowledge.

But what about seduction – how does luck factor in? That’s the topic of today’s article.

It’s a valid question. After all, to the average guy (who probably doesn’t read Girls Chase), the very act of getting laid with a new woman is dubbed “getting lucky”. This paradigm is a large part of Western culture and has been for a long time. But what about seducers like you and me? Men who spend time and effort working on their girl-getting skills? How much does luck factor in for us?

Now, it isn’t really all that straightforward, but if you stick around to read today’s article, you’ll have a concrete answer to this question.

We’ll cover the main differences between the average guy and the seducer. How much does luck count for both, and what are the varying degrees among seducers? How might one be more reliant on luck than the other? And we’ll address a bunch of other important aspects on this topic, too.

Decision Making in Seduction II: Weighing the Variables

seduction variables
As a seducer, your decisions can trip you up… or set you up. How do you weigh the odds and decide whether to stick with a girl or find a better option?

Hey, guys!

Welcome back. So, last week we discussed the importance of cool-headedness and how it relates to better decision making in field, resulting in more lays and better odds of getting that girl. Today, we will discuss decision making itself. I will cover each of the variables I personally take into account when I’m making a decision.

There is an infinite number of variables to be taken into consideration when making decisions, depending on the situation, context, who you are, and your desires. Some situations are truly unique, and you will need to account for additional variables you did not initially take into consideration. For example, if a girl happens to have a boyfriend who turns out to be a gangster, you will have to factor that into your evaluation. Another example that comes to mind is interactions that lead to tricky social situations, such as banging your best friend’s ex – “don’t” is my go-to advice. You have to assess the consequences.

Another situation is double-pulling with a wingman like I do with my friend Pablo Garcia. Sure, we can go tandem, split up, and each leave with a girl, but we don’t see each other often and we get plenty of lays on our own. When we are together, it is because we want to pull together – we just find it so much more fun! However, if I screw up, Pablo is doomed and vice versa. Additionally, if he doesn’t hook, we can double-pull. Same goes for me if I don’t hook. Unless we both hook, we move on.

As you can see, different scenarios will offer new variables to take into consideration. The list I provide here is a starting point, things I think are key to keep in mind in most if not all situations. There is no way to write an article on in-field decision making and take into consideration every potential variable of every potential scenario. However, from this post, you can learn a lot about the overall mindset of decision making to use as you see fit. You can add your own variables to your equations if you wish. In fact, in certain circumstances, I recommend it.

Decision Making in Seduction I: How to Be Cool-Headed

cool headed
How you conduct yourself has a big effect on how attractive you are to women. Cool heads in moments of chaos set men significantly apart.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Today we will discuss another subject that I believe will make you a better seducer.

This subject is one of the variables covered in my post “How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer” where we covered multiple variables that I believe are what give a guy great success, and more importantly, great consistency – which kind of signifies that the “luck aspect” is less significant for him, hence why he is good.

In that post, we covered the following variables:

Decision making is another subject that I believe has been under discussed. I will make this a two-part article, with the first piece focusing on cool-headedness (the right state of mind to be in whenever facing difficult situations). We will focus more on the practical aspects of decision making in Part 2.

Decision making is key, and it can mean the difference between hitting and missing. Wrong decision? You are out. Think about it. You have a great lead with a girl but suddenly decide to change venues (without her). Well, guess what, you won’t bang that girl. Now, perhaps you may find another girl in the next venue, but what if the next venue sucks and you get no leads? I am sure we’d all agree the decision was bad.

Usually, situations that force you to make decisions hastily result in, sadly, unfortunate decisions. She is resisting, your material is not working, a cockblock shows up, or another wildcard chimes in (e.g., her friend starts puking). These situations can be stressful, forcing you to make a decision, and often quickly. We will discuss these scenarios in further detail next week. However, before you are able to become a good decision maker in the field of seduction, you first and foremost need to understand the importance of cool-headedness.

Cool-headedness is a prerequisite for decision making in dating, pickup, and seduction. To be honest, I think it also is essential for all types of decision making in life.

Therefore, we will focus on this subject first before moving on to the more practical aspects of decision making.

Rehearsing Your Approaches Before You Talk to Girls

rehearse an approach
Do you ignore signs of interest from girls or get too nervous to approach? You may want to spend 5 minutes to rehearse approaches and scenarios in your mind.

If you’ve ever gone out to chat up new women and had approach anxiety hit, you know how much it sucked. You wanted to talk to girls, hoped to talk to girls, tried to talk to girls... then couldn’t.

You walked up next to a girl with the long black hair and the tight jeans on the street corner as she waited for the light to change. You said nothing.

You took a seat in a café next to a girl with medium-length blonde hair and big googly glasses. She glanced at you a few times, and you tried to summon your nerve. Yet your nerve went unsummoned, and you and her never spoke.

That night you went out with your buddies to the lounge, and this one girl in a sequined dance danced over right near you. You could tell she wanted to meet you. You tried to get yourself to say hi, but you didn’t say anything.

It might be you just weren’t socially warmed up. You lack social momentum, and needed to do some warm-ups – but you hadn’t done them yet.

You wish you could just spring into action the moment you saw a girl.

Is there a way you could?

Perhaps there is. Next time you go out, try to rehearse your approaches first.

Resistance/Susceptibility to Influence

susceptibility to influence
Everyone out there is trying to influence you. How susceptible are you to that influence – and how susceptible are those around you?

I wanted to write a quick post (that turned out not to be so quick) on resistance and susceptibility to influence. This article is something of a cousin piece to my piece on grouping and herding in dating from last week.

The subject of this article - resistance and susceptibility to influence- goes for you and the people around you. Your friends, your family, your workmates, your lovers, partners, and dates.

Everyone is susceptible to the influence of other people and forces. The degree of susceptibility varies from person to person, and situation to situation. Some people are more easily influenced than others. Some situations make it easier to influence people than others. Most people are only marginally aware (at best) of their influencability.

If you are susceptible to influence but do not realize it, other people can step into your mind and make you think things and believe things you might not really want to think or believe. This can lead you to taking actions you might previously not have agreed with. Sometimes this turns out to be beneficial; sometimes not really.

For an example of the beneficial sort, I had a friend in university who influenced me to apply for an internship with Nike and pick up a minor in supply chain. Until this friend, I did not care about getting a job after school, was doing the minimum necessary to get through school, and disdained the idea of internships. Yet because of this friend, who'd had an impressive co-op run building a new supply chain process at Tyco, I grew excited about getting a good job and doing better in school. I didn't get the internship, but came in second in a pool of 200 candidates and got some very valuable feedback from the interviewer which played a key role in me getting the job I did get, a year later. I got more a lot more focused on school and got straight As again the next semester, for the first time in years. And I got my dream job on the first try - I zeroed in on them and the job fair and blew their socks off in my interview. Had that friend not influenced me, none of that would've happened.

Years later, I was in a startup where one of my business partners influenced me to open up the purse strings more than I thought was wise, against my instincts and all the reading I'd done on startups spending all their money too quick being one of the #1 reasons they go under. He influenced me to do a number of other things more in-tune with how he thought we should do things and less in tune with how I thought we should. We ran out of money and I had to close the business and lay everyone off. The partner who'd influenced me to spend more managed to negotiate the rights to the business away from myself and the other partner (despite having joined the startup much later, and having taken far more capital out of it than he'd put into it), then sold those rights to another group of founders. The business is now a successful venture-backed business doing everything I originally wanted to do, and would've had it do... had we not run out of funds so quick.

I don't regret the experience (I enjoy Girls Chase much more as a business; and I received a lifetime of invaluable lessons in negotiation, predatory partnerships, and sticking to your guns - plus a healthy dose of business confidence after I found I'd been right all along), but the outcome was a direct result of that business partner influencing me to act in ways contrary to how I'd have acted on my own.

Every human being is susceptible to the influence of other human beings. There are no exceptions to this. Locate the strongest, most resolute human being in the world, and I guarantee you we can find a way to make him crack with enough time, and the right people, in the right situation.

The question we want to look at today though is how susceptible vs. resistant are you and those around you?