Confidence | Page 12 | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

How Much Can You Masturbate If You Want to Get Laid?

how much should you masturbate
If you jerk off too much, what happens to your sex drive and motivation? Nothing good – but the problem is not masturbation; it’s masturbation to excess.

On an article of mine from earlier this month, a reader asked about masturbation:

Hi Chase,

Do you think masturbating destroys your drive for taking control of your life and motivation, even if you don’t watch porn?

Growing up I used to do it a lot and I was very timid, low self beleif, and hated sports, I’m wondering if that’s why? I use to do it like 3 times a day.

I do it now, but it’s more here and there. Sometimes I have days where I do it 3x, but I was wondering if I did it once a week or every other week, would that be good for my motivation and for me to start doing better in life and to be more aggressive?

A later comment on the same topic:

Chase, i watched porn and masturbated very compulsively throughout all my teenage years, as an escape from life. I was very depressed back then: there was a period that i would watch porn literally all day (i’m a high school dropout)! I’m 24 now and nowadays, the best i can go without fapping to porn is 10-11 days... and that requires A LOT of effort – i get crazy cravings, mood swings, even insomnia...and i don’t feel lust for women in real life at all, even if i find them hotter than the ones i’m seeing on my computer.

This affects not only my love life, but also my potential professional life, because my memory and concentration are terrible when i’m watching porn frequently. There was this time that i went a little over a month without fapping/watching porn and i was literally another person – no more acne, strong attraction for real women, much more sociable, fat loss, muscle gains, etc.

After that, i tried to reintroduce masturbation to porn once a week, i thought – “eh, i can manage that...”

Hah, i couldn’t! After a couple of weeks i started increasing the frequency, and after a while i was back where i was before. It has been about 2 years since then, and i didn’t manage to go over ~20 days without porn/fapping since then.

I find it very difficult to let go of porn, mainly for one thing – fetishes. I have a couple of fetishes (not porn-induced) that without porn would be very hard to fulfill. I could easily leave behind vanilla porn and any other subgenre (i rarely watch them).

I respect you and would love to hear your thoughts, even if you don’t have any advices. Cheers :)

So let’s talk about jerking your own chain. Can you do it? How much can you do it?

And what happens if you do it a little... an ordinary amount... or a lot?

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 4: The Brolosopher

brolosopher
The brolosopher: smart guy, easygoing diction and delivery. Sharp, savvy, but cool and social. If you want to use that big brain well, it’s time for some brolosophy.

A few years back, I was in a car with my friend. One moment, I was talking about something really deep and profound. I don’t remember what it was, but I do know that the next moment, I made some crass comment about women in some really uneducated language.

My friend, who was driving, laughed hysterically. The juxtaposition of my two stories was pretty strange.

Turning to me, he said in a loving voice, “Hector, you’re the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

I didn’t know it at the time, but there was something in what he said. It was the secret to being smart but also socially dominant, physically dominant, and relatable.

And that’s the crux of what this series is about. If you haven’t already, you can (and should) read the previous articles here:

If you don’t want to go full dumbass with women and socializing (which might hurt boyfriend potential), here’s how you hybridize intelligence and base behavior.

It’s my favorite personality that this entity called Hector sometimes adopts.

How Much Do You Actually Need to Know About Girls to Get Them?

know about girls
Must you be an expert on women to excel with them? Of course not… yet there are different kinds of expertise, and they have different effects on your odds with women.

I have a lot of fun building mental models of how other folks think, feel, and act that are as accurate as I can get them. As you may notice from comments by female readers on some of my articles, I’m generally pretty on-the-mark.

Yet something I found myself thinking about recently was “How well do you actually need to understand women to date them and bed them?”

It’s an interesting question. And not as easy to answer as you might think... because there are different kinds of “understanding women”, and different kinds of “doing well with women.”

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 3: Dumb Down & Get Laid

be dumb and get laid
You know dumb guys get laid. Now it’s time to dumb down yourself – and reap the rewards. Cut the snobbishness out, and get the girl.

For those triggered by the title, go back and read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series carefully. In excruciating detail, I have explained what I mean by “dumb” and why being so works well with women.

Now that the theoretical groundwork has been laid out for any nerds looking to disagree with my points, we can move forward plainly.

I will no longer justify being dumb, but only prescribe and explain why certain behaviors work with women.

My advice mostly revolves around cutting certain behaviors as a method to turn attention away from your intelligence and more toward your sexual value – your physical and social dominance.

Let’s get to it.

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 2: Why Dumb Guys Get Laid

dumb guys get laid
Dumb guys didn’t spend their youth reading books or winning debates. Instead, they occupied themselves with reading people and winning babes.

Welcome to part 2 of this series. If you didn’t catch what I was getting at in the last article, I’ll put it simply.

Intelligent men have issues getting pussy. More specifically, by "intelligent men," I mean nerdy. They use big words, spend lots of time reading, aren’t good with people, and value their intelligence above everything else. That sort of guy.

How I used to be.

These men inevitably discover that it’s the moderately intelligent or even straight-up stupid men who get the most poonani.

Why?

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 1: The Problem with Intellectuals

girls don't want intelligent guys
Girls seem to go for dumb guys a lot more than they do smart, intelligent guys. Why don’t girls want to date intelligent guys, though?

The seduction community is rife with smart guys, guys who know a lot about history, science, philosophy, and other disciplines that have a high intelligence requirement for competence and mastery.

Why are there so many intelligent men in the community?

Simple.

Most of them were alone in their teenage years and into their 20s (or 30s). In their search for a solution to their romantic problems, they put their massive minds to the task.

Some of those men became successful. They continued to theorize and eventually write or record their thoughts. They’re the ones who created the seduction community.

Since they're smart, their rhetoric and syntax is affluent, detailed, and nuanced. Thus, the men who most ably learn from these teachers are also intelligent.

Intelligent men go searching, find these resources created by other intelligent men. Then, speaking the same language, they mesh well together, creating a feedback loop of intelligent men teaching other intelligent men.

This is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a great thing. There are certain principles in this field that take time and focus to logically mine and cut, and raw IQ helps quicken that process.

But oftentimes, while intelligence helps with understanding and teaching, and while it looks flashy and impressive on paper or on video, it can get in the way of what this entire community is focused on.

11 Mindsets and Mentalities Master Pick Up Artists Use (and 3 They Avoid)

pickup artist mindset
Successful pick up artists treat their outings very differently from how most men do. This includes mindsets on rejection, ‘the zone’, panning for gold, and more.

Beliefs have a strange way of becoming truth.

Ever since I started on my journey of seduction mastery, I was told time and again that if I could only think how successful guys thought, I would get the same results. Well, I’ve come to find there is a lot of truth in this. So today I want to teach you a few of those essential mindsets that make a man phenomenal at getting new women.

Many of the thoughts going through your head that are counterproductive to success with women will not change from practice in the field. I have seen too many guys go out night after night simply to reinforce the thoughts that make their nights go south. And of course they can’t recognize the ill effects and negative feedback loops.

We’ve all heard self-help gurus talk about self-fulfilling prophecies: whatever you believe will happen will happen, causing your perception of how the world works to be reinforced. So when it comes to changing your thoughts, know that a lot of the work is going to come during your quiet time when you can sit down and visualize a night when you use the incredible tools I am about to give you.

Are You a Unique, Special Individual? You're Probably Missing the Basics

unique special
Sometimes you don’t want to follow the instructions. The instructions are for other folks, not you! But if you still aren’t getting results, maybe it’s time to change things up.

Over the years, we’ve seen myriad guys come and go who struggle with a specific problem. These guys are among the most frustrated folks we see at Girls Chase. Not only are they frustrated themselves, but they frustrate everyone who tries to help them, too.

You see, what they want is a magic pill. They want you to tell them how to do everything you teach guys how to do – only they want you to teach them to do it faster and easier than how you teach all those other guys how to do it.

It doesn’t matter how fast the method you’re teaching is. It could take two weeks to work; they’d still want to know how to do it in four days. When you finally persuade them to put the work in, they take a couple of half-hearted shots at it, all their dreams don’t instantly come true, and they give up. It’s too hard, they’re too unmotivated they say. Then they want you to motivate them. Or, even better, give them some kind of shortcut you haven’t told them about before.

We’ve seen it a lot on the discussion boards. Some of the guys we banned in 2017 were long-time members who kept asking for magic pills, chafing at the suggestion when other members suggested they start with the basics, then whined about how hard it was and how unfair their situations were.

And I wondered to myself: “What the heck is these guys’ problems? Why can’t they just do the work and quit whining about it? Why do they ask for magic pills over and over and over again? They’ve GOT all my stuff – and all everybody else’s stuff – right here on the darn site!”

Sure, there’s a lot of material here, and it can be hard to know where to start. That’s why we have the quiz and our programs, though. Both of those are condensed information that takes you through a guided process. There’s also the newbie assignment on the boards, which only takes 14 days and a little courage to do. We have paths for guys who are new and want to start getting results. But some guys don’t take them – then not only don’t they follow the paths we’ve laid out for them, but they continue to complain about not getting results anyway. What’s going on with people like this?

Well, as it turns out, a piece of scientific research fresh off the presses (published at the end of December) has figured out what’s going on with people who do this.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to be Mindful (and Learn 10x Faster)

how to be mindful
When you set out to form new habits and self-improve, a big part of this is how to remember to make these adjustments in the first place.

Reader Kalyan writes in with a question about learning fundamentals:

hey, i just noticed that your website lacks a very important article (or maybe i dont know of it. if thats the case please send me link(s)). i know fundamentals are important. and everyone knows eye contact is important for example.. but i find it very hard to consistently remember to consciously focus on eye contact... i feel because of that, mastering individual fundamentals like that is much slower. so, an article about how to learn or focus on fundamentals would be helpful. i know its a good idea to work on one aspect at a time, but how could you actually remember to work on even one thing when youre out and talking to women?

It’s an interesting question, and in fact is one more concerned with mindfulness – the act of attunement to what is occurring both around you and within your head in the present moment – than the pure raw process of learning fundamentals.

The process of learning fundamentals themselves is straightforward:

  1. Pick a fundamental to work on, be that eye contact, posture, vocal intonation, or another

  2. Decide what to alter or improve in this fundamental

  3. Make that alteration/improvement over and over across the next 30-90 days

  4. Every time you notice yourself not doing it the way you want to do it, correct yourself

  5. After 1-3 months (and many hundreds of internal reminders) have passed, it’s now automatic

This process can transform you into a man with impeccable, powerful body language, mannerisms, and behavior in a relatively short time (six months to a year for really complete change; though you’ll start to see the effects of this exercise as soon as you begin work on it).

Yet you must remember to remind yourself to adopt these better fundamentals to change them.

What if you can simply never remember to do it?