Confidence | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

People as Their Alignments: Evil, Neutral, and Good

moral alignnment
We each fall somewhere on the 9-sided moral alignment die. Lawful Good, Chaotic Neutral, Neutral Evil… where do you fall, and how does it impact things?

This should be a fun article. Or even an insightful one... depends how much you like personality tests.

... but most of us like personality tests, don't we?

And this one's a fairly useful one, as far as personality tests go.

A recent study discovered six 'dark' traits (egoism, narcissism, Machiavellianism, sadism, psychopathy, and spitefulness) all stem from the same underlying 'dark core'... something the researchers dubbed 'the Dark Factor of Personality'. The result is that if you have one dark trait, you are likely to have others -- because they all come from that same dark center.

Over the last few years I've thought a lot about dark and light. I discussed the phenomenon of younger 'dark' guys who reform when older in "The Civilized Man." I talked about the choice between goodness and wickedness in "The Good King." And I went in-depth on some of the research into the 'light side' of personality in "Be the Lightbringer: Dating and the Sublime Benefits of Positivity." And of course, aside from these, we've always urged you to do right by women and other people, and avoid bitterness yourself... as much for your own sake as for others'.

The seduction space can serve as a magnet for dark characters... even if most of the men in it are neutral- or light-oriented. The dark characters rarely reach levels of prominence within the community -- whether it's more because their methods repel the non-dark men too much, or they just don't care to help/teach other men enough to carve out a niche, I couldn't say. But there are guys like this who become instructors, or rise to this or that level of prominence within seduction communities... sometimes concealing their dark side, sometimes wearing it on their sleeves.

One of the reasons I won't teach 'dark side tech' -- things like reverse supplication, sexual power reversal, one-sided monogamy, taming/dependency, or the infamous October Man sequence --is the existence of 'dark-side' guys within the community (all the non-dark guys who'd cause damage purely by accident are the other part of the reason). If everyone was light-side, we could perhaps talk about this stuff and trust most guys to use it responsibly... but not everyone is, so this stuff stays tucked away under lock and key.

Why do people have these different dispositions? How different are the dispositions anyway -- are people just a little different from one another, or are the differences BIG? And how do these differences come about in the first place?

By pure chance, one day I came across a Dungeons & Dragons 'alignment test'. The test allowed you to sniff out where on the 'alignment scale' you fall... good or evil? Lawful, neutral, or chaotic?

I thought it would be a fun thing to play with. But in fact, it's turned out to be accurate for real people I've used it with, to quite a surprising degree.

Use Meditation and Self-Hypnosis to Improve Your Dating Game

hypnosis and meditation to improve game
Our brains are super good at talking us out of doing stuff, even good stuff. Here’s how to switch roles and talk your brain into shutting up and getting laid.

We’ve all been there. You see that sexy creature and you want to approach her, but that little voice starts chirping, “All these people will see you. You don't want to come off as creepy, do you? You can try again tomorrow when you're in a better state. She’s on her phone, you don’t want to be annoying. Yeah, let’s try later.”

Excuses, justifications, and avoidance. The more you think, the less you do. The less you do, the more you think. It’s frustrating. It feels like you’re a broken man, especially after watching all those infield vids on YouTube and reading all those Girls Chase articles that make it sound like common sense, like it’s so easy. But it’s not, is it?

When guys ask me what I think about when I approach, I tell them “Nothing.” And it’s true. I try to do all my approaches and everything that happens after as close to “the moment” as possible. And I’m pretty successful at it. But I wasn’t always so awesome.

The first time I went to a bar alone for the sole purpose of pickup – 11 years ago – I completely froze. I was in a room full of sexy women, completely packed, shoulder to shoulder. The longer I stood there, the deeper I went into my head. The excuses just piled on top of each other.

  • “Everyone is here with someone, except me.”

  • “They all know each other, and I don’t know anyone.”

  • “They’re all looking at me.”

  • “They know I’m alone – and terrified.”

Blah, blah, blah, excuses, fear, etc.

And even worse, I’d spent all night memorizing pickup routines. But as soon as that adrenaline spiked, approach anxiety overwhelmed me, and I either forgot all of them or convinced myself that I had because I was too terrified to try.

It’s amazing how great your ego is at talking you out of improving your life. It makes you think that by approaching women, you’re going to somehow die – a social death at least.

That summer night, I pedaled home through the humid Montreal streets on my bike, and I told myself, “Never again will I go out and not at least try.” But things didn’t really get better until I met a guy named Steve Piccus at a local seduction lair meeting, who claimed to be a master hypnotist. He was famous for being featured in the book The Game.

Steve showed us a simple meditation meant to clear our minds of chatter. He called it “silence the tongue”, the tongue being the voice that goes “Blah, blah, blah,” keeping us from achieving our goals. That short lesson, delivered to a room full of lonely, horny men, changed my life.

Feeling Doubtful? Well, Have You Taken Action Lately?

doubt and action
At times you will go out to meet girls and not meet any, or encounter other similar situations. And doubt takes you. How do you deal with this kind of doubt?

Several times throughout my seduction career, I've found myself in a curious place. I'd have had a little time off, where I'd focused on work or girlfriends and not approached new women. But then came the time to go chat up new girls again.

I'd go out, go somewhere social like a bar or a networking event, approach anxiety would hit, and I wouldn't talk to anyone. At the end of it, I'd head back home.

And then, I'd wrestle with doubt. Do I really want to do this? I'd ask myself. Go out and talk to strangers and try to find women to bed? Isn't it kind of embarrassing, just putting yourself out there to get shot down? Isn't it sometimes so much grinding?

And for a while the self-doubt would be strong. I'd think about all the other things I could be doing other than approach girls. I already have a beautiful girlfriend, I'd tell myself. She'd love to be shagging my brains out right now. Instead I am standing around not talking to anyone trying to get myself meeting chicks again? Or I might think I could've been at the putting on muscle or getting into work early and staying late to get ahead. Instead I just went out and failed to talk to women.

This crushing sense of am I really doing the right thing with my life? would soak through my bones.

Then, all at once, I'd realize something: "This is the gayest thought process ever. I didn't even talk to any women and got zero new information about anything. Why the heck am I suddenly trying to make a major life decision based on zero new information?"

After I experienced the 'self-doubt, then realization' process enough times, I've become almost immune to doubt... once I realized that, at least for me, almost all the doubt I experience comes as a result of inaction, rather than action.

How to Be the Coolest Guy in the Room

coolest guy in the room
The coolest guy in the room… every guy wants to be him. Yet you can't "try hard" to get there. The secret to his cool is what he does do – and what he doesn't.

When you go out to socialize, you quickly discover image is a big part of things. People make quick evaluations of you drawn from your clothes, how you carry yourself, your company and how those around you interact with you, and other signals. Those evaluations - often, snap judgments - affect how people treat you unless and until you give them reason to change their minds.

If they think you look cool, they may stare at you, try to get close to you, bump into you, or talk to you. Women may hover near you and send you approach invitations (or, sometimes, approach you themselves). Men may strike up a conversation or try to include you in what they are doing.

If they think you look lame, they may laugh at you with their friends or try to distance themselves from you. Women who think you look lame may roll their eyes at you or close their body language up to discourage you making an approach. Men who think you look lame may try to tool you to improve their position and ladder climb up over you.

And in any large group, most of the people there won't even be of much interest to most of the other people. These people - those neither at the top of the coolness hierarchy or at the bottom of it - are in the 'fuzzy middle'. They mostly just end up ignored, mentally classed as 'background noise' by other people making their evaluations.

Your mission is often going to be to not be the lame guy at the bottom, or one of the invisible guys in the middle.

Rather (often), you are going to want to make yourself the coolest guy in the room.

Great Man Theory Is Undeniably Real

great man theory
Great Man Theory states that men with outsize power can have outsize impacts on society and history. Does this theory have legs – or is it all illusion?

Early this year, Science Daily (a website I like) claimed a new study on spiders 'debunked' the "19th-century notion that highly influential individuals use their power" to shape history. This theory these spiders had debunked was Great Man Theory.

I'd heard of Great Man Theory a few times over the years. I never gave it much thought. However the Science Daily article piqued my interest. If there is one thing the media has taught me (and the media has taught me many things), it is that the word 'debunked' usually signals something is, by contrast, actually worth looking into.

If you want a common man to dismiss something as obviously wrong, just tell him it's been debunked. Then he will know - devote thought to this, and your membership in the world of good thinkers is gravely imperiled. Abandon these lines of inquiry now... lest you be tossed into the 'gullible idiots box' and excluded forever from the society of the educated and informed.

Of course, if you are a contrarian - as I am - these veiled warnings that a thing is intellectually off limits only interest you in it more. They make you want to investigate a thing. To learn all about it, as well as its counterclaims.

This new interest in Great Man Theory led me down a rabbit hole that, in only a short time, changed my thinking on a profound, important topic that affects the way a man views his place in the world.

How to Stop Premature Ejaculation – Proven Tips from a Pickup Artist

premature ejaculation
A perk of good game is having sex with beautiful women. And being able to last for more than a few thrusts makes it all the sweeter – for everyone involved.

Hey, guys.

Today I will take a step away from pickup theory and instead discuss a subject related to male sexuality: premature ejaculation.

The reason I got caught up in this subject is a phone call I received the other night from a guy who is starting to pull quite often. Now that he’s started pulling hotter girls, he’s becoming frustrated that he only gets to enjoy them for a few minutes.

It sucks putting in the work just to burst your load after five minutes… or less. He wanted advice regarding this issue, and the advice I provided is the same as what you will read here.

Sometimes, you get easy lays and it goes smoothly. Sometimes, it’s hard, and you must jump through a lot of hoops. At times, you bang really hot chicks, sometimes less hot. Hopefully, you don’t bang ugly girls too often – it happens to us all – but no matter who we’re screwing, we always want to be in control of when we ejaculate.

I won’t make a guide sharing all the techniques that are already discussed elsewhere on the web, especially not the ones you’re most likely not going to use anyway. How many of you have been doing daily kegel exercises to strengthen your PC muscle and thus withhold longer? Probably very few – although it does work against premature ejaculation!

Rather, what I want to discuss is what I do when I’m with a girl. I don’t care about the sciences behind it or what some virgin doctor or scientist says. I care more about what I and other men have experienced. The techniques I’m about to share work for me and others.

Let’s get on with it.

Do You Really Need to Know, or Is It Just Mental Masturbation?

mental masturbation
Information is good to have, and plans can be useful. Nevertheless, sometimes it goes too far – into the realm of mental masturbation.

There's a term from the mid-2000-naughts, somewhat less popular now, called 'mental masturbation'. Mental masturbation is any line of thought people spend time on that is, for all intents and purposes, useless. It doesn't help achieve any goals or shed any worthwhile insight. The mind is engaged, but its output is worthless.

I never much liked the term. It's crude, and often dismissive. Most things, at some level, are worth thinking about. When the 'mental masturbation' meme took over mASF (the now-defunct pick up artist community forum) years back, it fast became overused to the point of inanity. New, shy guys would ask some question or other, and veterans would tell them "That question is just mental masturbation!" Which to me always sounded like the natural's retort: "Who cares about those details. Just talk to girls!" Useful for some, but a door shut in the face of others.

Yet there's certainly something to the 'mental masturbation' concept... because there absolutely is a limit beyond which continued focus on the details is pointless:

  • You're worried about getting a girl pregnant, but you haven't been laid in four months? Mental masturbation.

  • You're trying to dream up a new way to hook up with sorority girls, yet you've never hooked up with a sorority girl before? Mental masturbation.

  • You're thinking about how cool it'd be to have a playboy lifestyle, when you mostly stay at home with no social or romantic life? Mental masturbation.

It's important to realize when you've slid into mental masturbation... if only to stop wasting your time (and perhaps others') with go-nowhere fantasies and lines of inquiry.

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.9: Troubleshooting and Cheat-Sheet

hooking troubleshooting
Hooking girls in is just part of the great seduction algorithm, yet it contains millions of lines of code (‘cause, you know, girls). Let’s debug some common issues.

Hey, guys!

So, this is my final post in this series. It will cover the troubleshooting aspect – i.e., what to do if you fail to hook – before I provide you with a hooking “cheat-sheet” to help you pull it all together.

If you have made it through this long series, then I congratulate you! You now have the knowledge to approach girls and immerse them in a conversation with you, so that you can allow yourself to convey attractive traits and push the whole process forward – hopefully, all the way from first meeting to sexy time.

But sometimes, things will not go as planned. This is what we will discuss first.


Hooking: Troubleshooting

You approach a group of girls in the hopes of hooking them in so that you can seduce them fully. You have the confidence to walk up to them. A few scenarios can happen, which we will list below, followed by a few troubleshooting steps for when things go wrong.

Why Having a Girlfriend Makes You Better with Women

girlfriend confidence
Few things can boost a man’s game like having a girlfriend. Women show more interest, and talking to them becomes easier. Ever wonder why this is?

During my previous monogamous relationships, I noticed that my ability to talk to women dramatically increased, as did their attraction. I would also get a lot more approach invitations and even get approached on occasion, mostly because of social circle game – we’ll talk about that later.

I had to ask myself, “Why am I suddenly better with women while I have a girlfriend?”

The answer: “You just are.”

But like you, I wanted more details. What specifically is it about being in a relationship that made me magnetic? Obviously, I was harder to get, and this unattainability stirs female lust. But after looking deeper, I've discovered some more key factors of having a girlfriend that can affect your game for the better.

Here they are.

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.8: Other Factors of Success

hooking-factors
Now that we’ve covered the main ingredients of hooking girls in, let’s explore some behind-the-scenes factors that can make or break your success.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Last week, I went into the finer details of hooking. Today, I will discuss additional factors that are worth keeping in mind during the hook phase.

This post compiles all the little bits and pieces that didn’t make their own individual post. But don’t be fooled – these concepts and techniques only just now being mentioned doesn’t mean they aren’t relevant, or less relevant than any of the other points made in previous posts.

I simply didn’t see the purpose of making individual posts about these subjects. I may do so in the future – if you’re interested, let me know in the comments section. Also, some of the concepts like social proof have already been discussed in depth, so I won’t repeat myself. Let’s get on with it.

These are factors that will make hooking easier. You’re probably already aware of some of them, but for the sake of context, it is key to mention them. If you’re not familiar with these concepts, feel free to read up on them, as they are all covered on Girls Chase.