Confidence | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

How to Use "Grand Master Style" to Rack Up Scads of Lays

GM style
GM style: a crass, irreverent, and utterly hilarious way to make women horny, excited... and ready to hop in bed quick.

In 1999, an American expat in Paris named Nathan Szilard commented online about a talented natural seducer in a bar he kept running into:

There’s that guy -- looks like an heroin addict, looks fortyish (but might be younger), dressed in black and/or like shit, skinny, tall, wrinkled, never smiles ... and gets laid like a rock star.

One day, at that bar – the same place Nathan always spied this guy – he chatted up a pair of girls. Suddenly, the guy showed up, flashed Nathan an amused grin, and swooped in to talk with the cuter of Nathan’s two girls.

Two minutes in, the guy asked someone for a pen and paper and took the girl’s phone number.

Five minutes in, Nathan excused himself to the washroom... and walked in on the guy and his girl making out with their hands all over each other.

Impressed and amazed, Nathan dubbed this guy the ‘Grand Master’... or ‘GM’ for short. And over the next year or so, Nathan Szilard befriended and worked to decipher the game of this guy he dubbed ‘GM’.

Note: If you are a beginner dater, probably don’t try to use GM style. You risk awkward creepiness if you botch your delivery. Focus on less edgy stuff first. For the more advanced guys (or the still-curious beginners), read on...

One of Nathan’s earliest analyses of GM style was this:

Hm trying to recollect what I forgot to mention in my earlier post.

He makes it clear right away that he wants sex. He explained it to me. He does not really understand what is going on, me thinks.

He does not compliment.

I explained him the concept of neg hit; he disagreed ... YET HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME. Well, it’s not NEGs, it’s more like ‘vannes’ as I explained once, that’s to say, taking the piss on her. So he fucked that German yesterday, and before that, made a few (light) jokes about Germans, then ‘apologized’ by hugging/kissing her.

He takes every opportunity to go kino [touch]. I’ve already mentioned that.

He claims that he does not act the same with every woman. I asked him about some place that’s packed with model-types full-bitch-shielded types, how do you handle that I asked, and he said, “You don’t get it, you don’t do the same thing there, I’ll explain you later.”

He asks boring questions, name, job, then joke on it, and when I say JOKE, I mean FUCKING LAME jokes.

To a German: “you speak German really well!”
To a Japanese: “you speak Japanese really well!”
To an Italian: “you speak Italian really well!”

Original, heh? And on top of that he said it several times to the same girl. “You really speak German well! LOL “.

For a time, Grand Master style (or GM style), a method of strong sexual direct jokes, chase frames, and sexual intent, became one of the most popular methods in the pick up artist (PUA) community, alongside Mystery Method and Gunwitch Method.

These days it’s largely forgotten.

But it shouldn’t be. It’s a different, fresh, and highly irreverent approach to bedding girls in a hurry – and the Grand Master still has lots to teach.

Your Desires Are an Unmatched Tool to Motivate and Seduce

desire in seduction
Desire – your real desire – is a deep motivating force, and immensely attractive to the opposite sex. Tap into it and use it well, and you can do the near-impossible.

I received some very positive feedback from my article on the Interest-Preference-Desire model. If you haven’t read that, I suggest going back and taking a peek, because as a follow-up on that model, today I’m going to dive deeper into what “desire” is and how it affects our lives.

Desire is not only applicable to the process of seduction and attracting women, it plays a key role in the pursuit of our goals and how we live – specifically, the choices we make.

In the last article, I concluded that among the concepts of interest, preference, and desire, desire is the ultimate tool that actually results in committed action. There’s greater nuance when it comes to desire, because desire itself can be more fluctuating and relative. Some people never experience a constant desire for something long term, while others desire an outcome so badly that they continue to chase the desire even after it’s already been fulfilled multiple times.

What gives?

I’ll break this down in a hopefully easy-to-digest form, but do keep in mind that there is a lot of psychology and philosophy involved when it comes to desire.

"Girls Only Want Good-Looking Guys or Young Guys"

girls only want young guys
The most attractive thing to women is neither youth nor beauty. So why do so many guys think girls only want good-looking guys or young guys?

Okay, I want to talk about the “girls only date good-looking guys” or “girls only date young guys” thing. I have more intellectual articles against these positions and I’ll share them with you in a moment. But intellectual arguments aren’t always the best way to get the message across, especially when guys are deep in a certain viewpoint.

First let me share a comment from a reader of my “When Do You Get Too Old to Party or Meet Girls?” article from last week:

Keep deluding yourself that youll be more attractive to women as you get older. I have never heard a younger woman say Kevin Spacy or Sean Connery was “hot.” Only older women. Women in the past had to settle down with older men because they didnt have the means of supporting themselves. Thats it. If she had the choice and the income theres no way she would choose him over a younger guy. Plus, do you think its right that older men had relationships and children with teenage girls? Its a pretty messed up system because a girl hasnt even lived her life, and you know if the girl could support herself theres no way she would go for that older man6. Girls go for older men because of convenience, not because of attraction.

To which I responded with a screen grab of a bunch of young chicks swooning over Old Man Connery on Yahoo Answers, plus a picture of Sean having a merry laugh:

Sean Connery sexy to younger women

There are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of younger men than anywhere else on Earth, who remain very attractive to younger women even into quite old age. And there are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of good-looking men than anywhere else on Earth, who are very attractive to women despite plain or terrible faces. This is undeniable. The only way you can pretend these men don’t exist is if you plug your ears and shut your eyes and make loud noises to yourself every time one of these guys crosses your path.

But this willful blindness/ignorance guys engage in about this subject runs deeper than just “I don’t think that ever happens or if it does it must be super rare.” It’s actually about guys with zero or very little experience with women, who do not understand women, trying to tell men with lots of experience with women who understand women very well that actually those men have no idea what they are talking about and in fact women are actually some other way.

The guys who say stuff like this are never guys you would take woman advice from in the real world. From 30 feet away you can tell these guys don’t do well with girls and don’t understand them.

I’m not trying to pick on these guys. There are a lot of men who don’t understand women, and it’s always been that way historically. Women are hard to fathom. This entire website is dedicated to helping men who don’t understand women come to have a better understanding of them.

But when you get guys who do not understand women trying to talk about how they know women so well and that actually all these things that are commonplace things that happen with women are in fact impossible and never happen, you get this weird bizarro world perspective on dating emanating from certain corners of the male sectors of the Internet.

And we need to talk about that.

The Problem with Gaming Girls You Don't Like

girls you don't like
It’s good practice to chat up girls you aren’t much into. But what happens when your ego gets involved? You mustn’t let girls you don’t want affect you.

I had a bit of a breakthrough recently. It was almost childish that this was a lesson I hadn’t truly integrated into my psyche, though I’ve understood it conceptually for the longest time. Hell, it was a flaw that I had fixed in a few of my coaching clients, to their benefit, but I thought I had moved past it.

‘Tis the blinding power of pride. You think you know something because you understand it backwards and forwards, but it’s a very different thing to know something on the cellular level – to feel it.

What was this lesson?

Don’t game girls you don’t really like.

Seems simple enough, right? Duh.

But not so quick... let’s set some groundwork.

If You Want to Do Well with Girls, Fundamentals are Everything

fundamentals are everything
Your game and your mindsets (inner game) are important. But the only thing women see and experience firsthand is your fundamentals.

This is one of my axioms of game. I consider it true on a biblical level.

Game is fundamentals.

Traditionally, we think of fundamentals as that which attracts bitties.

Your face. Your fashion. Your muscles. Your walk. Your voice.

These get your foot in the door. She’s interested enough to give you a hint that she wants to talk, be it a smile or a prolonged stare, and she’ll give you a good shot once you approach.

Afterwards, you spit game and try to amplify the already established attraction into arousal and lead her to bed.

Fundamentals get her interested. Game gets you inserted.

How are they equal, then?

12 Things Every Man Should Have Handled by Age 35

things men should have handled
There’s a lot to focus on in life, and little guidance. Where should you concentrate your efforts? To these 12 key areas: women, money, strategy, and more.

I’ve had guys ask me over the years what areas of their lives to focus on outside of women. And younger guys have asked what they ought to have handled as they get older. Society’s grown more complex than at perhaps any other time in history, due to myriad factors. However, one of the biggest factors has been the near-total abandonment of preparing young people for what to expect in life.

In place of lessons and guidance, we give them feel-good Hollywood films and vapid platitudes. Things that for prior generations were known and expected in life are surprises for the generations now coming of age, left to their own devices to figure these things out (or not).

So I’ve worked to set out a list here of the 12 most important things for a man to have handled before he turns 35. If you’re young, these are the items in life you need to concentrate your energy on. If you’re older and you haven’t handled all these yet, it’s not too late to start. This isn’t a list designed to make you ‘feel bad’ if you haven’t accomplished these yet – this article isn’t about ‘feelings’. This article is about masculine concerns: what areas of your life can you work on that will improve your life?

The more work you do on these 12 areas, the better your life will be.

If your life is already awesome, improve these areas and it will become more awesome. If it’s less than awesome, improve these areas and you will change that too. Note that some men have some degree of natural ability in some of these areas. But no one is a natural at them all – and every man has room to improve in each.

Becoming the Beast, Part 5: A Suit-Wearing Wolf

suit-wearing wolf
Inside every man is a beast. Yet how to use this beast in the context of civilization? In civil society, the man must tame his beast – but not kill it.

The end is nigh.

  • In part 1 of this series, we discussed how we live in a primal and violent world that has little mercy for weakness.

  • In part 2, we talked about how you need to cultivate a primal ferocity if you want to survive in this world, let alone thrive. This ferocity helps you socially and sexually.

  • In part 3, we covered some habits and mannerisms that will help you cultivate and demonstrate your ferocity.

  • Then, in the penultimate article, we covered how to transmute this animalistic energy into the bedroom and make your girl’s bed rock like a Flintstone.

Now, for the culmination of the series, I want to cover how to be primal but civilized and how to understand the difference between cold, civilized power and primal power.

The "I've Got to Wait for Girls to Meet Me" Thing

wait for her to approach
Do you wait for girls to approach you? It may be scary to approach women yourself, but waiting for them to ask first is a losing proposition.

One of the members of our forum has talked about his strategy of waiting for girls to meet him, and then spitting game at them. It doesn't seem to work well for him, since he is perpetually single and has been hung up on the same girl for over a year, hoping every time she breaks up with a boyfriend that maybe she'll pay more attention to him.

Nevertheless though, he's committed. He ignores all the advice from every other member on there and from me that he forget this girl and go meet new ones. This is his strategy, and he's decided to stick to it.

I don't think there are a lot of guys who are 100% into this strategy of “I've just got to wait for women to come meet me”, like Neal is. But there are guys who slip into this some or a lot of the time. So we should talk about it.

Because even while objectively this is about as effective as thinking, “I've just got to wait for the money to come to me,” or, “I've just got to wait until a Ferrari shows up in my driveway,” subjectively it can feel like a valid strategy at the time when you're thinking it.

But it's not a valid strategy. It's a terrible strategy.