Brain Hacks | Girls Chase

Brain Hacks

Stop Assuming Other Men Are Better Than You

don't compare your success with other men
If you keep asking yourself why you suck so bad with women while all these other dudes are getting laid, there are probably some things you aren’t taking into account.

Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of posts to debunk common ideas that I believe are wrong. I decided to follow up with a problem I see a lot of men suffering from – and that I also struggled with.

That is when you start comparing yourself to other men’s success. You see them with girls and feel inferior. This happens especially when you don’t find yourself in female company. You start seeing these other men – either willingly or unwillingly – as superior to you.

It isn’t a good feeling, and it doesn’t result in any kind of productive mindset when it comes to meeting women – quite the contrary. You usually start experiencing this feeling when you have a crappy night. You’re already in a bad place, so feeling inferior creates a vicious circle.

This post is designed to debunk some common misconceptions, but it’s more of a fact check that will help you avoid harmful biases about your own and others’ success.

First things first – we shouldn’t care about whether other people succeed or not unless it has an impact on our own interactions. However, many of us do care.

5 Mindsets to Overcome the Fear of Approaching Women

Mindsets to Overcome the Fear of Approaching Women
The fear of approaching women is a major hurdle for a lot of guys. By adopting these key mindsets, you’ll realize there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Hey guys, welcome back. Last week, we discussed some tips and tricks for dealing with the fear of rejection – i.e., managing the anxiety that keeps you from approaching women.

Here’s what was discussed:

  • It’s totally normal to experience approach anxiety

  • Most guys feel anxious about approaching women

  • Those who don’t feel any anxiety tend to be uncalibrated

  • Even experienced players face lower-level anxiety at times

  • It is hard – if not impossible – to completely get rid of approach anxiety

  • You can do things to effectively manage it

We discussed strategies that, if implemented, should make approaching easier for you. Today, we will go deeper and add some simple-yet-powerful mindsets you can – and should – apply that will make the whole process even simpler.

These are mindsets that I have used in the past with great success. I have also shared them with friends, co-seducers, and newbies. This post is suited for everyone still struggling with approaching women. These mindsets can be used for both day game and night game.

How to Deal with Approach Anxiety – A Practical Guide

How to Deal with Approach Anxiety
Approach anxiety can make it extremely difficult to meet women. While likely incurable, it can be effectively managed with these simple, practical tips.

I have heard from many good seducers and players who, despite all their success and experience with women, still feel approach anxiety.

They, too, get that tingly feeling in their chest while their minds play tricks on them, holding them back from meeting potentially amazing women.

Not approaching because of anxiety is sad because you might be missing out on many fun adventures and amazing women. I know many of you hate having this feeling of anxiety.

So, does this mean there is no hope for you? Not at all. You can drastically reduce your anxiety, but you will have to force yourself to do it... and reconquer it every time you go out.

The subject of today’s post will be approach anxiety management – why you have it and practical steps to minimize it. Next week, I’ll discuss some powerful mindsets that will help you take action.

Neediness Repulses Women, Abundance Mentality Makes Them Chase

neediness repulses women - abundance makes them chase
Gorgeous women are harangued by clueless, needy guys since the day they blossom. That’s why they bolt at the first sign of neediness… and chase the men who “get it.”

Every woman has an ex-boyfriend who lost his mind.

The media is ripe with crimes of passion, where men transform from lovers to stalkers, or from loyal boyfriends to controlling, jealous, domineering abusers.

They ruin it for all of us.

I used to be a very needy, weak man. Wet toast. Not the alpha-god of charisma that I am today. Even though I was incredibly insecure in grade 7, I still managed to score my first “girlfriend.” It lasted a whole week!

Her name was Despi. A beautiful, rich, Greek girl from another school. Being an introverted kid, I was shocked that she wanted me to call her. A girl likes… me?

“Despi likes Tony!?” they cried. It was my induction into the upper echelons of popularity, social proofed by a girl I didn’t even know yet. Suddenly, kids invited me to parties, sports games, and sleepovers. I was part of a different game now. An adult game without a rule book.

The first night of our short affair, I sat by the telephone, petrified, but I mustered the courage to call her. It went fine, and we agreed to go to a movie. Some nineties romantic comedy.

At the film, I sat there in a state of confusion, pumped with dopamine and adrenaline, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. I wanted to hold her hand. Can you do that? Just pick it up? Squeeze it and play with its softness? Does she like Metallica? Nintendo? Should I ask?

We didn’t meet again after that.

Fast-forward to grade 8.

How to Treat Ghosts, Flakes, and Rejections from Girls

ghosts flakes and rejections
Do you get WAY more rejections than dates? Well, it’s the same for even the best seducers. Here’s how treating rejection differently can help.

Violets are blue, roses are red, without many options, seduction is dead.

I’m a true poet.

How familiar is this day-game situation? You approach a girl, give her a compliment, talk for a few minutes, get her number, text a few times, ask her out, and… nothing. She just answers “lol”, changes the subject, or flitters away like a pretty ghost.

It feels like a diss, doesn’t it? After all, you had the guts to approach her. You spent months, perhaps years, learning how to do this – to overcome your shyness, your approach anxiety. To improve everything from your appearance and body language to your worldview and lifestyle!

And she doesn’t care. Not one bit. She didn’t even ask you a single question about yourself. How dare she. You spent thousands of dollars on self-help, seminars, books, and online courses. You learned to meditate, increase your income, and build world-class social skills.

And she flakes. It’s like you’ve reverted to a San Francisco street turd.

Just last week, I went to a gay pride parade and met this lovely creature. Long, black hair down to her bum. Wide, full lips. Big, expressive eyes. I reached out my hand and she placed hers in it. I pulled her in and said, “You’re something, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she nodded, her body pressed against mine, eyes staring straight into mine. A minute of conversation, and we kissed. Approaches don’t get much better than this.

It was “you had me at hello” game.

We were going on separate paths, so I got her number. I got home, still a bit giddy from that post-flirtation high. That evening, I texted her. Nine hours later, she replied with “Haha.” The lowest investment reply possible. So, I waited eight hours and texted her again. No reply. No “Sorry I’m not interested” or “Maybe another time.” Just annoying silence.

And I still haven’t heard from her.

Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad but chant the beauty of the good.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

“But Tony, you’re supposed to be a Grand Master Jedi Puuaah! No girls flake on real Pooooass!”

Yeah, girls flake on me, ignore me, diss me – just like you and every guru, coach, and player I know. No matter how tight your game is, most women just won’t be interested or available. They might humor you or amuse themselves at your expense, but they won’t go home with you or ever see you again. That’s just the cold reality of the game. Sniff.

But there’s some girl out there who’s down. She’s very down. It’s your job to find her. That’s why numbers matter. The more leads you have, the better your odds.

How to Create a Loving Vibe That Attracts Women

attract women with love
Your state of mind creates a vibe that can attract or repel women. Use these tips to develop an aura of love that attracts women like bears to honey.

Many years ago, I was on Vacation, visiting a friend from the PUA community. He lived in a small town in Northern Canada with a surprisingly big nightlife. After a long evening at the bar, he asked if I wanted to go to an after party. Of course I did.

“Here, take one of these,” he said, handing the group a bag of white pills.

“What is it?” I asked.

“MDMA.”

I’d only tried MDMA once, and it was a crazy adventure. So I decided to give it one more shot. I popped the pill and we headed out to the party.

MDMA basically turns your dopamine up from zero to twelve, and as our group walked to the party, we all started giggling like school girls. By the time we got there, we were tripping hard. I felt this incredible joy and love for everyone and everything.

I sat down beside this pretty girl, and in about ten seconds, we were making out. I don’t remember what I said, but I felt an intense attraction, mixed with incredible vulnerability. It wasn’t my words that seduced her, but my vibe.

The problem with drugs and alcohol is that they come at a cost. Alcohol causes hangovers that wreck your day. Drugs like MDMA are the same – you get an emotional hangover. What goes up must come down. I don’t advocate using hard drugs, and I haven’t touched them since. But I did learn something powerful that night: that whatever you feel, she feels.

Use Meditation and Self-Hypnosis to Improve Your Dating Game

hypnosis and meditation to improve game
Our brains are super good at talking us out of doing stuff, even good stuff. Here’s how to switch roles and talk your brain into shutting up and getting laid.

We’ve all been there. You see that sexy creature and you want to approach her, but that little voice starts chirping, “All these people will see you. You don't want to come off as creepy, do you? You can try again tomorrow when you're in a better state. She’s on her phone, you don’t want to be annoying. Yeah, let’s try later.”

Excuses, justifications, and avoidance. The more you think, the less you do. The less you do, the more you think. It’s frustrating. It feels like you’re a broken man, especially after watching all those infield vids on YouTube and reading all those Girls Chase articles that make it sound like common sense, like it’s so easy. But it’s not, is it?

When guys ask me what I think about when I approach, I tell them “Nothing.” And it’s true. I try to do all my approaches and everything that happens after as close to “the moment” as possible. And I’m pretty successful at it. But I wasn’t always so awesome.

The first time I went to a bar alone for the sole purpose of pickup – 11 years ago – I completely froze. I was in a room full of sexy women, completely packed, shoulder to shoulder. The longer I stood there, the deeper I went into my head. The excuses just piled on top of each other.

  • “Everyone is here with someone, except me.”

  • “They all know each other, and I don’t know anyone.”

  • “They’re all looking at me.”

  • “They know I’m alone – and terrified.”

Blah, blah, blah, excuses, fear, etc.

And even worse, I’d spent all night memorizing pickup routines. But as soon as that adrenaline spiked, approach anxiety overwhelmed me, and I either forgot all of them or convinced myself that I had because I was too terrified to try.

It’s amazing how great your ego is at talking you out of improving your life. It makes you think that by approaching women, you’re going to somehow die – a social death at least.

That summer night, I pedaled home through the humid Montreal streets on my bike, and I told myself, “Never again will I go out and not at least try.” But things didn’t really get better until I met a guy named Steve Piccus at a local seduction lair meeting, who claimed to be a master hypnotist. He was famous for being featured in the book The Game.

Steve showed us a simple meditation meant to clear our minds of chatter. He called it “silence the tongue”, the tongue being the voice that goes “Blah, blah, blah,” keeping us from achieving our goals. That short lesson, delivered to a room full of lonely, horny men, changed my life.

Getting Back into the Game and Rebuilding Positive Momentum

getting back into the game
Everyone goes through dry spells. Whether they last weeks, months, or even years, there is a way back. It all comes down to the process and positive momentum.

Hey there, welcome back.

Ever had a good streak, then nosedived and felt your mojo is gone? Maybe you have been away from the game for a while and want to get back into it.

Today, I will discuss some more lifestyle-related subjects. I just came out of a rough period and wanted to share some of the tools, tips, and tricks that I used to get back on it.

Think of an athlete who gets ill or hurts themselves. The recovery process is hard and complex – and happens to be an important field of study.

I have talked about momentum – both from a micro and macro perspective – many times in the past. If you’re interested, you should check out these articles. 

We will now cover the field of macro-momentum – i.e., how to recover from a total crash after experiencing hard times such as break-ups, illness, depression, or just time away from meeting women. The subject of this post is all about getting back in the game.

First, I will tell you all about the extremely interesting couple of months I’ve had. Feel free to skip the “Recent Events” section if you want to get straight to the guide.