Brain Hacks | Girls Chase

Brain Hacks

Getting Past Player Guilt (and Not Beating Yourself Up Over Casual Sex)

player guilt
As long as you don’t give false expectations, you need not suffer from player guilt. In fact, denying her sex when she wants it is NOT the way to spare her feelings.

If you're a man, you'd be forgiven for getting mixed up by all the mixed messages society sends you about casual sex. You've probably heard all the following:

  • "Casual sex is liberating! We must break the bonds of social restrains on sexuality! Let's enjoy our sexuality, and be free!"

  • "Casual sex results from a power imbalance between men and women. Women are forced to trade sex to men sooner than they want to, in the hopes of securing a relationship. It puts women in a difficult spot where it's easy to get hurt."

  • "Casual sex is one of the most empowering acts a woman can engage in. By embracing her sexuality, a woman can learn to love herself, and stop being dependent on how others think of her."

  • "Casual sex is highly damaging to women, and the casual sex epidemic is doing long-term damage to women's self-esteem and ability to form long-term partnerships."

You're alternately a saint and a devil, a savior and a corrupter for engaging in any intimacy with women you know won't lead to marriage.

Of course, the fact is, humans have sex. And they don't always have sex for marriage. If there are a lot of available sexual partners, many humans will have sex with many of them. This is true regardless of location or era. It is true in the West, and it is true in the East. It is true now, it was true 100 years ago, and it was true 5,000 years ago.

The issue is, if you want to be a player, and you want to feel free to indulge in physical intimacy with women who want to enjoy that intimacy with you, how do you get past any feelings of wrongheadedness about this, or guilt?

How Abstraction Can Help You Connect Better with Women

abstraction and women
Women can seem hopelessly complicated, but if you check off some basic ideas, you’ll display enough understanding to allow them to bring their walls down for you.

When you learn how to drive a car, you don’t need to know how to put the engine together or memorize the available horsepower at particular RPMs. You don't need to know how the cylinders are operating, or understand the function of the pistons – you just drive.

This is abstraction, the general concept that applies to things of the same nature, or in this example, of how similar machines with four wheels generally operate.

You use abstraction every day in the real world, without even realizing it. This same concept pertains to women and pickup. I’m not saying women are as simple as cars, that’s far from the point, but what I am trying to help you understand is this: there are general rules that are basic to interacting with women that apply to all women. From dating to screwing, there are core rules that can give you better results and get you further in your mission of acquiring pussy or just having women around.

We will use the concept of abstraction to take a relatively complex system like women and try to simplify our efforts to interact sexually with these beautiful creatures.

So how exactly can we apply abstraction to women?

Curb Your Approach Anxiety by Flipping the Script

approach anxiety flip the script
When approaching a woman, much of our anxiety comes from not understanding her perspective. This mindset tweak will help unburden your ego and smooth things out for you.

The assumption with approaching a woman is that you want her to become your lover, and because of that assumption, you probably start off approaching girls you think are going to be easier to handle if rejected, or girls you feel are less likely to reject you.

Approaching women is a unique difficulty that usually only men have to face. It is a startling requirement that tips off women so dramatically of your interest in them that it can cause you to feel helpless and very vulnerable.

So how can you start approaching a woman with confidence like the kind of man she would like to be approached by and want to attract? How can you stop overcompensating because of your fear of rejection?

Here are some ideas.

Does an ‘Outcome Independence’ Mindset Really Help Get You Girls?

outcome independence flaws
The term ‘outcome independence’ has become a popular topic in the seduction community. But the concept is flawed, as it can trip you up when it comes to getting results.

Hey, guys. Today I’m discussing a common but tough mindset – outcome independence – the idea that the seducer must become stoic, and not care about his results.

I will play the role of skeptic here, as I have a few concerns about the concept. Mainly that I believe a lot of guys are taking on the mindset but not understanding how to use it properly to get results. Instead, they’re using the mindset as more of a cop out.

Nevertheless, I believe the mindset is well-intended. If the underlying mechanism is understood, it can make you appear cool and not needy.

In this post, I’ll explain why this mindset was popularized, delve into its shortcomings, and propose an alternative that I find superior for actually getting results.

More Tools to Help Conquer Your Fear of Approaching Women

fear of approaching women
If you want to get laid, approach lots of girls. Sounds simple, but what if approaching women terrifies you? These tools will help you conquer your fears.

Approach anxiety is the #1 problem every guy thinks he has.

I say “thinks he has” because once you get over your irrational fear of striking up conversations with attractive women, a whole world of dating possibilities bloom. But you can’t even seed that journey if you’re too afraid to approach.

#2 is knowing “what to say” to girls.

The two are connected.

You don’t approach because you don’t know what to say – you don’t know what to say because you don’t approach. It’s a paradox with a very simple and logical solution.

How to Use Listing to Set Good Frames with Girls

frame control technique: listing
Frame control is a master weapon in seduction. And “listing” is a great way to set frames with a girl by making you stand out as someone she’d love to have sex with.

We’ve been talking a lot about frame control lately, and I’d like to chime in with a specific technique I’ve found quite handy for setting frames. Namely, LISTING.

As a seducer, there are many frame control techniques and tactics at your disposal to aid you when it comes to getting girls. You can use these techniques to direct the flow of your conversations.

Some are persuasion tactics and specific techniques to set and solidify certain frames in your seductions. Sexual frames can benefit you by giving your interactions with women an exuberant air of sexuality that can ramp up her lust for you.

There are even ways you can use frame control to talk your way into higher levels of compliance with the girls you meet. These enable you to move fast, isolate her quickly, or even take her home just minutes after approaching. In fact, there are dozens of frame control techniques you can learn to help you with each and every one of these things.

And while it’s generally recommended that a seducer on the path toward mastery should expand his toolbox as much as possible, he should also learn as many of these techniques as he can to develop a varied arsenal and complete skill set. This is especially true for seducers who subscribe to the controller class. But unless that seducer is already at the advanced level in his journey, then this is a task that could be rather overwhelming.

Like I mentioned earlier, there are many, many frame control techniques out there, and after I took the time to learn and internalize a good chunk of them, I noticed that a number of these techniques are unfortunately quite complicated.

Faced with the task of learning all of these cutting-edge yet highly complicated techniques, it would be very easy for many students of the game to fall into information overload. It’s not difficult to end up confused and overwhelmed with the sheer number and complexity of these tactics.

But what if there was such a thing as a multipurpose frame control technique?

What if there were some extremely versatile techniques you could master that would enable you to enjoy several benefits that come with great frame control? So instead of having to learn dozens of different techniques, you could just learn a handful. After all, it’s easier to master one well-rounded method and make it a part of you first than to struggle while trying to learn nine or ten specific ones. Plus, once you’ve mastered one of these techniques and reached the point where you can use it naturally with unconscious competence – you can always come back and learn another.

The good news is these techniques do exist. And some of them are easy to learn and use.

In this article, we’re going to discuss one of these multipurpose frame control techniques. Listing is a technique I regularly use in the field because of its potency. By using listing, I was able to bed a number of pretty girls last year.

In this article, I’ll explain what listing is and how to use it. Then I’ll give some examples of how you can use this technique to accomplish a variety of important actions when it comes to getting girls. Listing can help you get better frame control and enjoy more success as a seducer.

Frame Control Methods to Get Women in Bed Fast

frame control methods
In this series of posts about frame control, we’ve learned what good frames are and why they work. Now let’s talk about the methods you can use to set frames.

Hey, guys! Welcome back.

In previous weeks, we have discussed what frames are, why they are important, and what constitutes a good frame versus a bad frame.

Here are those posts if you haven’t checked them out yet:

Hopefully, with those posts you’re now familiar with:

  • What frames are
  • Their importance not only in seduction but in every social setting
  • What defines good frames
  • How you can make your framing more powerful
  • How you can better control the frame

But after all this theory, I have not given contextual examples, which is exactly what I will do in this post. We will discuss different ways in which a frame is set. This will give you an idea of what framing looks like in real life.

Even though we will not go into heavy details of how each technique is used, rest assured that each has been addressed on Girls Chase (and there will always be more to come). This post serves as an overview and starting point. Maybe you will discover new ways to set your favorite frames.

Of course, the list I am about to share is not complete, but I would say that it covers the most common methods of setting frames. My point is – there are more ways. We will distinguish between a few here:

  • Verbal and non-verbal
  • Direct and indirect
  • Active and passive

You can set frames both verbally and non-verbally. For example, you can tell a story or talk about a subject that would help set a frame. However, note that frames can also be set verbally as a response to her actions. That is often a good place to work from, or you can work with what you have in that moment. We will get more into that, do not worry.

You can set the frame non-verbally as well through escalation and eye contact.

You can set a frame passively – through action or passive behavior that dictates the vibe. For example, when you build social proof, you will automatically frame yourself as a man with options who is pursued by women – a very attractive frame. But you are not directly setting a frame; it comes as a result of the context you have created.

Anyway – no more dwelling, let’s get to the meat.

I will first discuss direct ways (active) to set a frame before moving on to how to do it passively. Finally, we will discuss how to set a frame reactively.

4 Key Steps to Improve Quickly and Not Burn Yourself Out

improve quickly without burning out
What’s worse than setting a big goal just to burn out and quit before reaching it? These 4 planning tips will ensure that you improve quickly and stay motivated.

Once you know the basic foundation of any good style, the next step is to use that information to improve yourself in as realistic a way as possible. To improve, first identify what you need to change the most and develop a way to experiment with changes, so you get reliable feedback.

Some types of feedback are better than others, and some are outright useless. The most important feedback helps to raise your baseline. The least important is feedback you think is “everything you will ever need.”

It is tempting to think that you can conquer difficult tasks in one giant leap, but taking shortcuts reduces the probability of succeeding. At most, it will temporarily boost your feeling of hope, but this hope builds by constant progress, not constant setbacks (this happens when you push yourself too far too fast).

It is important to set large goals, but don’t try to accomplish a large goal in one giant leap. That’s a recipe for getting burned out and quitting altogether.

In this article, I’ll give you sensible tips to learn and improve quickly while not burning yourself out.

14 Ways Social Control Is Used on You

Social Control
For civilization to thrive, is social control a necessity? Perhaps, but we must be mindful of people and groups who seek to manipulate us to our detriment.

Social control. It sounds very 1984-ish, doesn’t it?

It is, in some ways. In others, it’s natural and understandable.

It's something that is always pulling at you – the social equivalent of gravity. Even from long distances, it has an effect.

And it comes from everyone.

When we think of “social control,” we get the idea that there’s some monolithic, maleficent force specifically targeting us and trying to get us to bend.

It is not so simple.

Yes, there are diverse and powerful organizations which are trying to control you. It could be a news station, a top-followed Instagram account, a religious body, or a government.

Those organizations include individuals, all of whom have personal agendas, both hidden and open.

Those people may all pledge allegiance to a common goal, but even then, the purity of their commitment to the group and their interpretation of that group’s goal may differ, person to person.

If a group of people aligns tightly with a singular goal, or at least the messages they deliver (e.g., a news station’s regular broadcasts) echo this singular goal or plan, the effectiveness of that social control is heightened.

Given your life experiences, and by doing some imaginative math about how many different groups are trying to control you, it is clear that you are being pulled in many directions.

The way I see it, even more confusing is that none of these groups are evil or good.

Of course, you have a moral stance and will judge various influences as good, neutral, or evil, but from a bird’s eye view, there is simply an array of consequences that occur because of your actions and everyone else’s actions.

I’m not here to moralize, but I am here to argue from the point of this website’s goals. There are social controls that inhibit your sexual freedom and ability as a man to forge his destiny.

I’m here to point out some of the biggest influences that attempt to control you, as I believe them antithetical to the goal of having a free and abundant position in the sexual marketplace.

There are hundreds of influences being thrust upon you every day, but here are 14 of the most powerful social controls that I believe you should be aware of and resist, as they inhibit your ability to be the best man you can be.

These social controls try to do one thing: convince you to adopt a belief.

If they can convince you that X is bad and Y is good, then you will follow their agenda or reinforce their worldview. It’s that simple.

To make you aware of social control, I will explain what “they” try to make you believe, the motivation behind that attempt at social control; I'll provide examples of who will try to convince you of this control. As you’ll see, “they” can’t actually stop you from doing what you want, and in most cases, they can only convince you – through shame and fear – how to act.

Women Are Attracted to Men Who Show Sexual Desire

women are attracted to sexual desire
It’s a misconception that women are not attracted to aggressive men. The truth: women go nuts for aggressive men who show their sexual desire in the right way.

Have you ever noticed how well some guys do with women? If you’re a nice guy, you might see these dudes and wonder what makes them so special, and why women like them so much. Maybe you’ve seen them at nightclubs with a stunner in heels, or maybe you’ve seen your natural friend pull girls over and over again.

The chances are that – even though I’m not talking about one specific man – you can still picture the kind of dominant, masculine, and ultimately aggressive guy that I’m talking about.

A key reason these guys get women is because they show their desire. At a very basic level, any guy who wants a girl must show his desire towards her. A girl may throw indicators of interest and other signals towards a guy, but if he doesn’t show his desire, girls often move on.

There’s another key facet here that separates the average guy from the guy who actually succeeds often. Naturals, players, and men who know how the game works understand that it is actually their aggressiveness that distinguishes them from most men. That aggressiveness – their willingness to take risks with women and go after what they want – draws women into their world.

Aggressive guys get girls more often. If you’re gaming and you want women, you must show the women around you aggressive desire, and go after them aggressively.