Brain Hacks | Girls Chase

Brain Hacks

10 Things to Do During Your Coronavirus Quarantine

coronavirus quarantine things to do
 

This weekend, Chase posted an article titled "Can You Still Meet People During Coronavirus?" The article is jam packed with great statistics and details about what to expect in the coming weeks and months, and how your dating life could be impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. Depending on your local quarantine situation (or whether you've chosen to self-quarantine), the answer to the title question can feel pretty bleak.

You could be facing weeks of strict social distancing or complete isolation. If so, after you've sorted out your good-citizen strategy to slow the spread of the virus, you may suddenly realize a greater need to tend to your sanity.

We may not be accustomed to our new (albeit temporary) way of life, but that's no reason to let ourselves stagnate by just waiting things out. In fact, a global pandemic is a great excuse to have a quarantine vacation and focus on inner game and lifestyle work.

I define inner game as everything that makes you proud and happy to be you. So whatever you do that improves the quality of your life will increase your inner game.

Rather than obsessing over the constant stream of news about the coronavirus and resulting economic perils, we can use this time to improve the neglected areas of our lives, like health, wealth, and happiness.

Focus on what you can control. By doing so, you'll come out the other end of this thing more ripe, not rotten. So here are 10 things you can do to improve (or at least occupy) yourself during your coronavirus quarantine.

7 Ways to Stop Being Nervous Around Women

stop being nervous around women
To stop being nervous around women, you need to interact with people and gain a level of social normalcy. You just need more experience, and here’s how to get it.

Would you like to stop being nervous around women? You’re not alone.

Every student I’ve taught told me they have approach anxiety. Why do they suffer? Because they don’t know what to say. They don’t know what to say largely because they’re nervous.

It’s an evil feedback loop of despair.

If it weren’t for nervous men, I’d be out of a job. It’s the #1 reason most of us find the seduction community. Not because we want to be big pimps, have harems, and run a pickup company. We just want to be able to attract women.

I used to be very nervous around beautiful women.

When I was a kid, I developed man boobs, otherwise known as gynecomastia. Nothing hurts a young man’s self-esteem like having tits. Also, I was raised by a single mother and two sisters who surprisingly taught me nothing about attracting women.

I was horribly insecure, especially around the pretty girls. I couldn’t talk to them because I’d get too excited. My heart would start racing, and I’d sweat, stutter, stammer, and have panic attacks. The girls would just look at me with concerned expressions and ask, “Are you okay, Tony?” This happened often enough to be a big problem.

I did date a few girls: the ones who basically threw themselves at me. But because I was so needy, those relationships rarely lasted longer than a month. I felt that if I screwed up a relationship, it might be years before I found another girlfriend. Of course, this desperation drove the girls away.

That is, until I got liposuction, and found the pickup advice forums.

On the forums, I learned about “game.” How to cold approach women in bars, day game, push-pull, teasing, stories, cold readsfuture projections, and on and on. So I started going out to practice, to change my life with this new arsenal of tactics, techniques, and philosophies. This was it, I thought, I’m totally going to pick up hot women with all this knowledge!

The Law of Attraction Isn't Magic. It's Psychology

attraction magic
The Law of Attraction isn’t some magical force, but it sure feels that way when you take the real, pragmatic steps necessary to build positive momentum.

In 2006, a book and movie about the Law of Attraction, The Secret, went super meme.

Suddenly, all my friends, coworkers, and family were like, “Just think positive! Have you seen The Secret?”

Now in 2019, it seems like everyone is a certified life coach. Or they at least watch Joe Rogan. But in 2006, the idea that “energy” could be manipulated by pure intention was still foreign, at least outside Yogis, Buddhists, and stoners.

Even I was seduced at first that “positive thought” could, through pure intent and without action, manifest your wildest dreams. At the time, spurred by my recent discovery of seduction material, it keyed up with my interest in self-development, which had a similar philosophy of “always positive, never negative.”

But could I just “think positive” and attract the most beautiful women into my life? Like magic? Could I just write a best-selling novel on my first try?

Not exactly.

The basic premise of The Secret is that there’s a universal energy called “The Law of Attraction,” and if you harness its power, you can create the reality you desire. The documentary had plenty of expert interviews with new-age pseudo-scientists, philosophers, and even Buddhist monks, who, with the power of love chants, could allegedly change the molecular structure of snowflakes. On the other spectrum, they claimed that negative words made the snowflakes wither and melt.

After watching The Secret, one couldn’t help but feel like their whole life had been lived in a deep, dark well of negativity, and if they only believed, then all their prayers would be answered. You didn’t need to actually “do” anything but “believe.” It’s your negativity and limiting beliefs that manifest your problems. So, if you just stop focusing on your problems, you won’t create them. Just focus on positive thoughts, and you’d create only positive outcomes.

That’s where the philosophy lost me. It just sounded an awful lot like prayer for agnostics, a religion for people without religion. Instead of praying to Jesus, you pray to the Law of Attraction. “Oh, The Secret, please fill my bank account with money and help me get laid!”

The Secret was a massive success, and a long-forgotten Buddhist philosophy was re-introduced to the Western world: a world without religion, desperate for some sort of spiritual guidance. And thousands of motivational Facebook memes later, its influence can still be felt.

What Does It Mean to Be "Passionate"?

passionate
What are you passionate about? Do you even know? Let’s explore what fuels passion and how to discover what drives and fulfills you in work, life, and love.

What does it mean to be passionate? And why is it important to have passion?

One of the biggest problems I see in 99% of guys I work with is not knowing what to say to women. When I ask them what they’re passionate about, they shrug their shoulders. They have no clue. It’s a question they’ve never been asked or really thought about. No wonder their conversations with women are as interesting as talking to a toaster.

Most of us are so addicted to consuming massive quantities of data from our smartphones that our brains become stuffed with garbage, most of which we can’t remember a few hours later.

It’s through sharing that we realize our passions, but we don’t share our thoughts in human, face-to-face interactions as much as we did before social media.

There’s a reason I make my coaching clients take notes, write field reports, and discuss their approaches with me and on forums. When you discuss things with other minds, you sort out the information and cement the lessons learned. When you get excited to share something with other people, that’s when you know you’re truly passionate about it.

So why is it important to feel passion, and to be passionate?

  • It makes life worth living

  • It’s a contagious and inspiring emotion that lifts people’s spirits and brings others closer to you

  • It’s a strong motivator for creating, exploring, and improving

  • It’s sexy

Mental Masturbation: A Pleasurable Yet Unproductive Activity

mental masturbation

Mental masturbation, the act of wasting valuable brainpower on pointless thoughts, is a game killer.

I had a coaching client recently who asked if I could answer a few questions. I said sure, expecting the usual “How do you know what to say to girls?” or “How do I get over my approach anxiety?” Instead, he sent me a list of 20 incredibly complex queries, including doozies like the following.

(Note, if the author is reading, I love you, bro: this is for your benefit.)

Here’s #2 from his list:

“What have you found in terms of the structure you would talk to a girl in terms of: Questions, Statements, Cold-reads, Roleplaying, Teasing, Paraphrasing, Facial/Body/Hand Expressions and Gestures, Flirting, Pretending, Imagine, Advice, Helping, Acting, Deep diving, Humor, Sexuality, Storytelling, Relating, Apologizing, Compliments, Kino, Reinstating for understanding, Leading, Protection, Boredom, and Silence? How do emotions also play a role in the structure, are there things to look out for and a general rule for how to get back on the rails without looking desperate, needy, or fake, rather than someone she desires?”

Translation: “How do I speak confidently to women, without running out of things to say?”

Answer: Study, practice, study, practice.

Here’s another:

“How do you manage crossovers, so when two people want or believe something different about each other, but only one believes, or situations that can work at a time due to conflicting matters? Or it is impossible? How can it be steered in your direction rather than being a pushover? How dominant is the optimum, and where is the balance if there needs to be because her attraction starts dropping due to conflicting beliefs? For example, a real situation I have had, you are talking to a girl, and she believes that listening to music is not inspiring when you believe it is, and you have already stated that, but she will not change her mind on the topic regardless?”

Translation: “When should I agree or disagree with women?”

Answer: Studies have shown when someone initially disagrees and then switches their opinion, that person becomes less attractive. In general, you don’t want to be a pushover, a limp noodle who changes opinions based on the likelihood of getting laid. Women are especially good at detecting BS. It’s usually better to either tell the truth about your feelings and beliefs or say “No comment.”

4 Common Sticking Points in Learning Any Skill

sticking point
When we’re stuck short of realizing our desires, it’s often hard to figure out why we aren’t moving, especially when our sticking points come from within.

When you are trying to learn an epic new skill like seduction, you’re inevitably going to experience sticking points.

A sticking point is a spot in your journey you can't past unless something changes. It’s like heavy mud on your boots, keeping you from moving forward.

But it can still be confusing as to what a sticking point entails. For example, if you’re from Pakistan and you want to live in London, but you can’t get past the bureaucracy to obtain a travel visa, this isn’t a sticking point. If, however, you obtained a visa but have a deep fear of flying keeping you from traveling, this is a sticking point.

If you want to meet a girl you like, but she won’t reply to your texts, this isn’t a sticking point. If you have her contact info, but you don’t know what to text her, this is. You can always improve your skill with texting, but you can’t force a girl to reply.

So, how does one identify and get past sticking points? How does one come to find themself on the other side of personal obstacles and achieve their goals?

How to Change a Girl's Negative Perceptions of You

fix bad first impression
If a girl screens you out before getting to know you, don't take it personally. It's not that difficult to change a girl's perception of you and turn things around.

Have you ever felt like a woman has judged you from one look and came to a conclusion that puts you out of the running forever? Well, it is no illusion. Women do screen men out like this, and if you go in blindly, your chances of turning things around are not very high.

There is a reliable way to turn your image around with a girl, however. What I'll share in this post can help you confidently get back on track.

First, let's go through why girls get negative images of you so you don't take it personally or hold it against women. When I first started picking up girls, they screened me out, thinking that I was unmanly, weak-willed, naïve, boring, and lame. Of course, I felt shocked that I was labeled this way and thought these girls were wrong.

It's important that we understand the reason women often screen so harshly: they despise men who promise results LATER.

Anyone can promise they'll be worthwhile to a girl at some later point, after some rapport is built or whatever. If a woman gives in to this reasoning, your true character and intentions will remain hidden until the time you reveal them. She risks being played and getting emotionally hurt. No girl is so weak that she will let anybody hurt her just because he says he won't, and needs some help to get started. Women screen to see your agenda NOW. They want to know if you can DELIVER on command or not.

If you are unwilling to show your agenda or character in the now, it's because you are ashamed of it. If you are not able to deliver on command, you have no business making them.

So, from a woman's point of view, this is the most basic screening behavior. She assures herself that men GIVE her a benefit now and that they REVEAL how they feel about themselves and their actions. It lets her deal only with men she knows have something to offer.

Now, you can rage against the mating-game here and say it's unfair, but look at how trivial of a test this is. It does not determine much about you; it is actually very open (unless you failed to pass it). Her image of you can also be changed if you know how. So it is like raging at a parking meter. There are bigger issues to worry about — issues that are actually in your control.

A bit of understanding can go a long way. As with many things, the first step is to accept reality, then develop a game plan to adapt and conquer.

Here's my experience and advice for managing your image with girls in the long term.

How to Deal with Freeze-Ups when Trying New Venues, Part 2

social freeze ups
Social freeze-ups can happen anywhere, even venues you’re familiar with. So here are more ways to set things in motion and turn a sour mood into a sexy vibe.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Last time we discussed overall strategies to prevent and handle potential freeze-ups when frequenting new venues. Today we will delve deeper into this topic. Let’s focus on practical tools that can help you counteract potential anxiety in the field.

Last time we focused primarily on dealing with new venues, since these are usually a source of potential nervousness. You do not feel fully at home in new environments, and they can be a bit scary.

I’ve mentioned that freeze-ups can also happen in familiar venues where you do feel at home, too.

Even though you’ve been to a place many times and have had great nights and much success there, there can be nights where you still struggle and have a hard time interacting with others. So here are some more general solutions that will also help in familiar places.

How to Deal with Freeze-Ups when Trying New Venues, Part 1

social freeze ups
The experience you gain by going to different venues is invaluable, but it’s easy to freeze up socially in new environments. This is normal, but not untreatable.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Today, I’ll discuss club game issues that are relevant to everyone at any level. What do you do when you experience a “social” freeze-up at a club?

Sometimes guys freeze up when entering a club. They feel unable to approach women or groups. Their anxiety rises, and they start feeling anti-social, and not in the mood.

If you are experiencing this, you are likely entering what psychology calls “freeze mode.”

Guys freezing up will often rationalize that the venue is bad for hooking up and start seeing negativity everywhere:

The list goes on.

When you enter freeze mode, and you don’t feel social, you start seeing negativity everywhere. And most of the time, it’s just a bias created by your mood.

So let’s discuss what causes this mood and then discuss some solutions to help you successfully move forward in these situations.

Overthinking and Seduction Don't Mix

seduction and overthinking
Attraction requires a flow of action and reaction. It gets disrupted when you overthink. To gain a successful seducer’s mindset, practice acting on a whim.

As men, we are thinkers. When faced with a problem or difficult scenario, we want to take a seat and mull over the possibilities. As a seducer, you want to interrupt that process and adopt another kind of thinking.

There are a few things overthinking men do “wrong” in the eyes of women:

  1. Acting on opportunities too late or delaying sexual behavior to seem chivalrous

  2. Promising things in the future that have no evidence in the present

  3. Desiring the ideal of sex like it can't go wrong and losing sight of reality where it can

We tend to slow down when things get complex, but women start to worry and think faster as things get complicated. To girls, we seem ill-equipped to handle complexity. Girls have no way of measuring the potential success rate when we sit down to think; they assume we are “sitting this one out.” So by that standard, it is not chivalrous to delay sexual behavior; it is often seen as a man “quitting very easily.”

Also, we like to promise the future to women. However, women are intensely connected to their feelings in the "right now," and the future does not affect them emotionally like the present does. A woman will never give up an emotion NOW for an unmeasurable gain later. Neither will she respect a promise without strong evidence, no matter your conviction.

Lastly, if you desire sex, and do not consider all the ways it can blow up and be annoying, girls will just become lazy and entitled about sex. They’ll think of you as far too slow-witted to have a mind of your own about what is desirable. And if they think you don't know what is desirable, they won't strive to be desired by you.

These three concepts are why you need to stop sitting down to think or slowing down to seem thoughtful. Girls do not think like you, they think faster and faster, intensely relying on feelings NOW, and they adhere to a code of absolute desire or apathy.

To think like a seducer, you must become uninhibited in every action you take, adhering to a philosophy they adore. You must flow from task to task, and make the complex seem simple and beautiful. You cannot slow down or get flustered, and you cannot overthink.

Seducing is much like playing a musical instrument. You cannot worry about what others will think of you if you start scrunching your face as you search for the perfect sound. You can't stop halfway through the song to think through the next part. At that exact moment in time, it is sink or swim, and you must act in the way that produces maximum effect. Anything less, and you will not capture people's imagination or stir up their feelings.