Brain Hacks | Girls Chase

Brain Hacks

Here's Why You Have a Crush on That Girl – And How to Move Forward

have a crush
Crushing is the result of inaction. You have a crush on that girl because you never made a move. Want to escape that perpetual “what if” state with her? Here’s how.

Whether you’re in high school, college, or the world of work, one phenomenon repeats in most guys’ lives — the crush. You are enchanted by a classmate or co-worker, and you develop feelings for her. But why this girl, and not somebody else? And why do you get those feelings in the first place?

Let’s explore some solutions to the crush problem (and yes, it is a problem). It’s exacerbated in this day and age by social media and dating apps that place sex “everywhere.” Sadly, for many guys, it’s just out of reach.

Things That Consistently Boost Your Odds with Girls: Mirroring

mirroring to attract women
How can one gain more control over how his interactions with women play out? Let’s talk about a less-visible yet hugely impactful factor that will bring concrete changes.

When it comes to seduction, you may be limited in the things you can change regarding your initial impressions with girls. You can smile, act confident, use verbal routines, and improve your fashion and  body language.

However, no matter how much you try to change what you are doing or look like, you remain relatively the same person as where you started.

So the question I’ll address in this article is: are there concrete changes you can make to consistently increase your odds of seducing a girl? If so, how do you learn what to do?

Do Girls Just Blow You Off When You Try to Approach?

girls just blow me off when I approach
When some guys start cold-approaching girls, they go through a stage of “girls just blow me off.” Let’s explore why that’s happening and the brain hacks needed to fix it.

On the Girls Chase forums, a user posted about his struggles with day game, a common issue for newbies. I’ll break it down into chunks so that you can learn the art of day game along with him.

So, if women are blowing you off before you even have a chance to get anywhere, thank Merchant's-Kin for bringing up the topic!

Here's the first part of Merchant's-Kin's post:

“Been struggling quite a bit with street game, because I can’t even stop a girl consistently while keeping without my heart racing, etc. (that’s where I’m at). There isn’t even an opportunity to test openers because I can’t stop girls consistently. They just blow me off.”

This is the beginning stage of learning cold approach: overcoming approach anxiety. It’s also the point where most men quit, right at the starting line.

 

10 Motivation Tools to Boost Your Dating Skills

motivation dating skills
It’s hard to find the motivation to go out and get rejected, but that’s what it takes to be successful in dating. These tools will give you a more positive outlook.

It’s so obvious, it’s cliché, but to find success with women, to develop skill with cold-approach pickup, you need to interact with a lot of women.

I don’t mean going to happy hour once a week, opening once and going home. To even land a coffee date with an above-average-looking girl means interacting with dozens of them. Perhaps up to a hundred, if you really suck at it.

For a newbie, this can be like someone who’s never done a chin-up being told you have to free-climb Mount Everest in nothing but a Batman cape.

For the intermediate guy, it may feel like you’ve been climbing this mountain forever. Whenever the top feels close, you gaze up to an eternal stretch of snow and rock. You’ve been trying forever. When will you finally arrive?

5 Stages of Grief and Ghosting

dating ghosting flaking

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
    —Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

One of my greatest hurdles with pickup and dating is dealing with the stream of rejections, disappointments, and the emotional crash tied to them.

I’d love to say I don’t care, but that would be a lie. It’s just part of the game and something you can train your mind, body, and soul to deal with. After all, they call it the “Game” because it’s supposed to be fun, right?

For most of us, the trauma of not hooking up with a girl we like, although nothing compared to surviving a Nazi death camp (search the above quote), may feel the same. That is, not to those who aren’t self-aware of their emotional states, psychology, how they function, and why. I call these people “Sleep Walkers” because they walk through life in a dream, blown about by the winds of chance like puppets who can’t see the strings.

Most of my clients come to me because they’ve hit a perceived “rock bottom.” They were dumped, divorced, or rejected, which caused enough emotional trauma for them to wake up and realize that suffering is no solution. The only path out of suffering is awareness and action.

It may take a very long time to awaken, because knowledge may be abrupt, but wisdom is slow. It’s not like striking your thumb with a hammer, where you learn “Damn! That really hurt. Don’t do that again.” You’ll instinctually understand that this activity hurts, but the process of learning the art of a hammer is slow and long.

Emotional pain is the same but lasts even longer. It seems like it’s never our fault. It’s “their” fault, or “its” fault. Taking responsibility for the cause of emotional pain comes slowly. It’s not like a hammer. The pain isn’t abrupt or obvious.

Every emotion you feel is because you allow yourself to feel it — even the pain of rejection. Just like a hammer on your thumb, accidents happen. But you don’t blame the hammer. You learn how to use it better.

Your mind, just like the hammer, is a tool.

In this article, I’m going to show you how your mind works, so the next time you’re flaked on, or ghosted by a girl, you won’t go into a month-long depression. Instead, learn to use your mind, like a baker uses sugar to create a tastier dish than the pie of despair you’ve been feeding yourself.

Approach Anxiety Is a Flat Tire

approach anxiety
Anxiety is trying to imagine and solve every possible outcome, all at once. When you stop trying to control things you can’t, it’s like fixing a flat tire in your game.

Men often come to me in a desperate condition. They say, “I’m not that bad with women. If I could just destroy this approach anxiety, I’d be able to get all the girls I want.”

I feel like a car mechanic who specializes in changing tires. Every car owner may think their car is unique, but I’ve changed thousands of tires, to the point of routine. So while the student is saying “My father never paid enough attention, and my mother was overbearing, and I was a fat kid in grade 4, and…”

All I hear is “My tire is flat. Can you teach me how to change it?”

Women Are Not Evil

women are evil
If you push beyond the temptations of hate toward women, you will find a new land of beauty before you. You will see the beauty in all women, even the evil ones.

Long ago, I wrote two articles. One was about how women will cuckold and dominate you if you let them. Another was about how women are, by nature, amoral.

They were darker-side articles that inspired some controversy. I had been roaming the abyss of human behavior to search for truths that, while hard to swallow, were true.

Long I struggled with these moral questions of whether or not the evils perpetrated by others are always malicious. It’s easy to simply say “I don’t care” when faced with the dark side of women. This is the motto of most tough guys, and there are many tough guys on the internet.

I thought this to be my perspective as well, for a long time. Then, reflecting on my emotions, I realized that I’d lied to myself for a long time.

Pickup Artist Tips for Surviving the COVID-19 Lockdown

covid-19 dating
All lockdown and no poon makes us all dull boys. These tips will help you preserve your sanity and health while you wait for your COVID-19 lockdown to end.

Hey guys. I hope you are doing well with the lockdowns in your area and that you and your loved ones are safe and healthy.

Since most of us are unable to head out to the field, I felt it would be inappropriate to write another post on practical field techniques at the moment. It is a good idea to keep reading posts to prepare yourself for when the field reopens. I understand that you may not have the motivation to work on your game at the moment. The truth is, you are not the only one.

I have done this for ten years, and I still love reading and developing techniques. But lately, since I cannot head out, I have little incentive to read about pickup and seduction. This is normal. Why would anyone be motivated to read about techniques they cannot immediately use?

That said, be aware that I am following the situation closely. Once everything starts reopening, I will put out guides on how to get back in the field, dealing with bad momentum (which YOU WILL HAVE, and so will I), as well as strategic ways to get back at it gradually.

I had one of the hardest lockdowns. Where I lived, I could not meet any women! I did not see or talk to a new girl for two months! It’s not because I am not capable of it, but was limited by the COVID-19 crisis laws. My lockdown was so strict that just to buy food, I had to fill out and sign a form. I could only be outside for an hour, a maximum of one kilometer away from my home. Any transgression would result in severe punishment. As you might imagine, it was almost impossible for me to meet girls.

Europe is opening, and most of Asia; good news. But most of our readers are Americans, who are in the middle of the pandemic. My experience from Europe is that you should count two to three months from the start of the outbreak before life begins to resume with some sense of normalcy in your country.

Girls Chase cannot fix the issue. It is not our role, nor do we have the capacity. But hopefully, we can provide entertaining posts and different ways to develop yourself as the pandemic marches forward so you can come out stronger than most other men, which could give you an edge when places reopen.

I can say that Girls Chase will be by your side to speed up and ease the transition back to normal. This is where our real work will begin. I know that Chase is working on some great new products and new lockdown coaching services.

We also have three(!) new writers joining the team:

  • Frankie Bismarck — a normal but cool south European guy who has a solid lay count. He does down-to-earth analysis and has a high focus on day game and social circles.
  • Xander Papatonis — you may know him as Hue. He's an up-and-coming star who will share some great insights.
  • Gunwitch — yes, THE original seduction guru (my first teacher!) will be sharing posts for beginners as well as advanced guys alike (we have not forgotten advanced guys!).

Cool things are coming! I hope this cheers you up.

With that said, I will take some time in this “random” post to share some of my ways of handling the lockdown.

Inner Game Issues — The REAL Reason You Can't Get Women

can't get women
Your biggest barrier to attracting women is not what you think it is. If you keep saying “I can’t get laid because I am [blank],” you may need to rewire your inner game.

I’m a firm believer that the art of picking up girls is a gateway drug to true self-development.

Before I found the seduction community, I’d never heard of concepts like the abundance vs. scarcity mindset, limiting beliefs, or social conditioning. It was when I searched the internet for “How to get a girlfriend” that I was introduced to the odd and wonderful world of pickup artistry.

My goal, like most of you, became simple: to become awesome at picking up women. I quickly found there were hundreds of seduction techniques, gurus, and schools to choose from. With experience, I discovered it didn’t matter how many tactics I tried; it was like putting a bandaid on a gaping flesh wound.

My true self was always spilling out — a wounded, insecure, inexperienced, socially frightened boy, drastically distanced from the pinnacle of gleaming, confident excellence I am today.

The women knew I wasn’t there yet. So most of them, while amused at my pickup attempts, just wouldn’t date me. Most wouldn’t even text me back. I was baffled, frustrated, and increasingly depressed by my lack of results.

I asked one girl I was trying to score with, after numerous rejections, “What do I need to do?”

Her reply: “Spend six months meditating with my shaman in India.”

In a way, she was right. It wasn’t until years later that I understood what she really meant.

My inner game was crap.

Wealthy Lifestyle Game: How to Get Laid when You Have Money, Pt. 2

how to get laid when you have money
As a wealthy guy, it’s harder to get fast sex with women because they peg you as a provider rather than a lover. Combat this by disqualifying yourself as a provider!

Welcome to Part 2 of the Art of Wealthy Lifestyle Game! We continue to explore why wealthy lifestyle game can net you some killer results with women, sometimes more than poor/broke game!

In Part 1, we covered these key concepts:

  • Power in authority makes men attractive to women
  • Wealthy lifestylers should raise their standards to benefit from game
  • Flaunt your wealth
  • Host cool events and build your social circle

These ideas are foundational concepts as to why wealthy lifestyle game can work. As you can probably tell, this game style is a little more niche. When thinking about raising your standards, your high-end lifestyle could alienate you from many lower-class women. They may see you as so high value that you’re unattainable (like your Ferrari to their Toyota).

But then, to other women, you’re simply a potential provider. Plenty of women get educations, great careers, and high-paying jobs, plus the lifestyle and high fashion to boot, in the hopes of meeting a guy with this status to lock him down.

As we know well (believe me, I know this ALL TOO well), girls will make you wait, and won’t give in to sex easily when they’ve met their prize. Indeed, once discovered, the wealthy lifestyler is a major prize for many women.

As I said long ago, where poor/broke game excels is in the ability for such guys to be a lover right off the bat and throughout the process. It’s congruent with the lover profile, and girls love the idea of throwaway sex when they’re horny! On the flip side, wealthy lifestylers run a high risk of being slotted into the potential provider category. This can slow them down or make things nearly impossible with girls.

So let's focus on ways to combat the provider frame and find success, despite this restriction.