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Brain Hacks

Overthinking and Seduction Don't Mix

Cody Lyans's picture

seduction and overthinking
Attraction requires a flow of action and reaction. It gets disrupted when you overthink. To gain a successful seducer’s mindset, practice acting on a whim.

As men, we are thinkers. When faced with a problem or difficult scenario, we want to take a seat and mull over the possibilities. As a seducer, you want to interrupt that process and adopt another kind of thinking.

There are a few things overthinking men do “wrong” in the eyes of women:

  1. Acting on opportunities too late or delaying sexual behavior to seem chivalrous

  2. Promising things in the future that have no evidence in the present

  3. Desiring the ideal of sex like it can't go wrong and losing sight of reality where it can

We tend to slow down when things get complex, but women start to worry and think faster as things get complicated. To girls, we seem ill-equipped to handle complexity. Girls have no way of measuring the potential success rate when we sit down to think; they assume we are “sitting this one out.” So by that standard, it is not chivalrous to delay sexual behavior; it is often seen as a man “quitting very easily.”

Also, we like to promise the future to women. However, women are intensely connected to their feelings in the "right now," and the future does not affect them emotionally like the present does. A woman will never give up an emotion NOW for an unmeasurable gain later. Neither will she respect a promise without strong evidence, no matter your conviction.

Lastly, if you desire sex, and do not consider all the ways it can blow up and be annoying, girls will just become lazy and entitled about sex. They’ll think of you as far too slow-witted to have a mind of your own about what is desirable. And if they think you don't know what is desirable, they won't strive to be desired by you.

These three concepts are why you need to stop sitting down to think or slowing down to seem thoughtful. Girls do not think like you, they think faster and faster, intensely relying on feelings NOW, and they adhere to a code of absolute desire or apathy.

To think like a seducer, you must become uninhibited in every action you take, adhering to a philosophy they adore. You must flow from task to task, and make the complex seem simple and beautiful. You cannot slow down or get flustered, and you cannot overthink.

Seducing is much like playing a musical instrument. You cannot worry about what others will think of you if you start scrunching your face as you search for the perfect sound. You can't stop halfway through the song to think through the next part. At that exact moment in time, it is sink or swim, and you must act in the way that produces maximum effect. Anything less, and you will not capture people's imagination or stir up their feelings.


Women Will Teach You About Women – And Yourself (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Their wisdom is unmatched.

Their truth is unmarred.

Their virtue, unassailable.

Okay, not really. Women aren’t perfect or any more magical than men are (though sometimes I swear they are angels), but women can teach you a LOT about, well, women. And yourself.

Sometimes it’s not their words, but their actions. But sometimes, yes, their words are also truthful (well, mostly...).

I will teach you the art of LEARNING from women. I have known no greater teacher during my journey through the land of women.

Papi Gnome will explain...

Qualities That Propel You to Dating Success

Tony Depp's picture

success with women
If you want learn how to become successful with women as quickly as possible, these particular traits and mindsets will accelerate your progress.

If you want to be amazing with women, there’s one mindset that will land you more success than any other:

The ability to deal with rejection.

When guys ask me what it takes to become amazing with women, I tell them the only thing that separates them from me, is that I’ll face rejection more in a week than they will in their entire life. It’s true. The best salesmen aren’t always the top closers; they just knock on more doors.

Guys also ask me how long it will take to learn and get good. I’ve written articles trying to explain and quantify something like this, but it’s really up to individual experience, work ethic, and the emotional fortitude to deal with a crapload of rejection.

That got me wondering... what qualities make a guy learn success with women quickly? Is there a certain mindset you can embody to become a champion in the shortest amount of time possible? What are the personality quirks and characteristics you can work on to master your transformation in this lifetime?

6 Big Secrets to Being ‘Fearless’ as a Man

Tony Depp's picture

how to be fearless
Fear can be useful to avoid being eaten by lions. But when it comes to approaching women and living life to its fullest, you must learn how to be fearless.

Imagine how awesome your life would be if you knew how to be fearless. You could do anything. You’d be full beast mode.

I have a friend. Let’s call him Jim. Jim’s a writer. He's like me but not as good looking. He always wanted to write the next American classic. He wanted to be the next Bukowski, Jack London, or Hemingway.

Whenever I’d return from a trip to some foreign country, like Vietnam, Ukraine, or Mexico, I’d invite him to come on my next trip with me. He’d say, “Tony, isn’t it dangerous there? I prefer a nice, safe Alaskan cruise. You should try a cruise.”

When I went camping with him, all he wanted to do was sit around, drinking and sketching pictures of the campfire. I wanted to trek into the forest and climb the nearest mountain. “Oh, Tony, but there are bears and stuff. We could get lost.”

He is also obsessed with mainstream media and believes that right-wing Nazis are taking over the world again. He lives in a constant state of fear. Every decision has some terrible consequence. In this perpetual state of paranoia, nothing truly inspirational happens, nothing random, adventurous, or worthy of retelling.

He never wrote his great American novel because he never had any great American experiences. He never fought real Nazis, or traveled to Africa, or made love to exotic women. Because he had no idea how to be fearless as a man, he couldn’t live a life adventurous enough to write a book.

He fears death. And it’s the fear of death that keeps us from living.

I told him that, and we haven’t been friends since.

Depression and Dating: Get Laid Even If You're Depressed (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

I deal with bipolar episodes. One minute I’m on top of the world and have more confidence, testosterone, and optimism than ANYONE... then the next minute, I’m devising a thousand different ways I could off myself and rationalizing why I’m the greatest piece of shit that has ever existed.

And my depressive episodes DEFINITELY impact my dating life. Of course they do.

But you can still find success. Hell, you can even USE your depression to your advantage.

This video is for those who aren’t feeling okay, those who rarely feel okay, and anyone who will ever at some point NOT feel okay... which is everyone.

So here’s how to navigate the dating world when you’re not feeling your best.

Harnessing the Seductive Power of the Dark Triad

Tony Depp's picture

dark triad seduction
Women are instinctively attracted to men with dark triad qualities. But you don’t have to be a psychopath to capitalize on that. The first step is learning to not care.

Have you ever felt like you’re being watched? Like Big Brother or the Eye of Sauron is gazing down upon you, judging your actions, biding its time before sending in the Gestapo to whisk you off to some dungeon?

You’re not alone.

This is what many men feel like when they’re doing pickup. That they’re being watched, and what they’re attempting to do is so morally reprehensible that it’s practically criminal. The current political climate adds to these fears, no doubt.

It’s such a common issue that I’ve written dozens of articles and could probably write an entire book on the subject. I might call it:

The Unapologetic PUA: How to Not Care What People Think

In regards to picking up girls, if you want to be great at it, you have to not care what anyone thinks about you. You must be:

  • Not in your head worrying yourself out of approaching
  • Present, calm, and charming when you do approach

It’s what men spend years attempting to master. To become soulless approach-robots with one aim in life: to have sex with hot girls!

3 Potent Frame Control Tips to Supercharge Your Game

Daniel Adebayo's picture

seduction frame control
The ability to set frames and get women to qualify to them is a powerful seduction tool. Here are 3 frame control techniques to accomplish just that.

When you become a great conversationalist, the women you meet consistently view you as exciting and interesting to talk to. You’ll have little to no trouble reaching the hook point with the gorgeous girls you’d like to take to bed. And since most men aren’t willing to put in the work to master the art of conversation, you will stand out.

Another advantage of maximizing your conversation skills is attaining the intuitive ability to set strong frames in your seductions. You won’t miss a beat or even pause to think about what you’re going to say next. Once you become a great conversationalist, you’ll find that sexually persuasive frames – like frames to accelerate a progression toward intimacy – will roll off your tongue effortlessly.

Setting the right kinds of frames is an essential part of mastering the art of seductive conversation.

In this article, we’ll discuss three very persuasive and versatile frame control techniques you can add to your arsenal. Read on, and you can start using them today to give your seductions an extra layer of persuasive power!

Getting Past Player Guilt (and Not Beating Yourself Up Over Casual Sex)

Chase Amante's picture

player guilt
As long as you don’t give false expectations, you need not suffer from player guilt. In fact, denying her sex when she wants it is NOT the way to spare her feelings.

If you're a man, you'd be forgiven for getting mixed up by all the mixed messages society sends you about casual sex. You've probably heard all the following:

  • "Casual sex is liberating! We must break the bonds of social restrains on sexuality! Let's enjoy our sexuality, and be free!"

  • "Casual sex results from a power imbalance between men and women. Women are forced to trade sex to men sooner than they want to, in the hopes of securing a relationship. It puts women in a difficult spot where it's easy to get hurt."

  • "Casual sex is one of the most empowering acts a woman can engage in. By embracing her sexuality, a woman can learn to love herself, and stop being dependent on how others think of her."

  • "Casual sex is highly damaging to women, and the casual sex epidemic is doing long-term damage to women's self-esteem and ability to form long-term partnerships."

You're alternately a saint and a devil, a savior and a corrupter for engaging in any intimacy with women you know won't lead to marriage.

Of course, the fact is, humans have sex. And they don't always have sex for marriage. If there are a lot of available sexual partners, many humans will have sex with many of them. This is true regardless of location or era. It is true in the West, and it is true in the East. It is true now, it was true 100 years ago, and it was true 5,000 years ago.

The issue is, if you want to be a player, and you want to feel free to indulge in physical intimacy with women who want to enjoy that intimacy with you, how do you get past any feelings of wrongheadedness about this, or guilt?

How Abstraction Can Help You Connect Better with Women

Darwin Niwrad's picture

abstraction and women
Women can seem hopelessly complicated, but if you check off some basic ideas, you’ll display enough understanding to allow them to bring their walls down for you.

When you learn how to drive a car, you don’t need to know how to put the engine together or memorize the available horsepower at particular RPMs. You don't need to know how the cylinders are operating, or understand the function of the pistons – you just drive.

This is abstraction, the general concept that applies to things of the same nature, or in this example, of how similar machines with four wheels generally operate.

You use abstraction every day in the real world, without even realizing it. This same concept pertains to women and pickup. I’m not saying women are as simple as cars, that’s far from the point, but what I am trying to help you understand is this: there are general rules that are basic to interacting with women that apply to all women. From dating to screwing, there are core rules that can give you better results and get you further in your mission of acquiring pussy or just having women around.

We will use the concept of abstraction to take a relatively complex system like women and try to simplify our efforts to interact sexually with these beautiful creatures.

So how exactly can we apply abstraction to women?

Curb Your Approach Anxiety by Flipping the Script

Cody Lyans's picture

approach anxiety flip the script
When approaching a woman, much of our anxiety comes from not understanding her perspective. This mindset tweak will help unburden your ego and smooth things out for you.

The assumption with approaching a woman is that you want her to become your lover, and because of that assumption, you probably start off approaching girls you think are going to be easier to handle if rejected, or girls you feel are less likely to reject you.

Approaching women is a unique difficulty that usually only men have to face. It is a startling requirement that tips off women so dramatically of your interest in them that it can cause you to feel helpless and very vulnerable.

So how can you start approaching a woman with confidence like the kind of man she would like to be approached by and want to attract? How can you stop overcompensating because of your fear of rejection?

Here are some ideas.