Relationship 101

Monogamy and non-monogamy each face their own unique challenges. Women in monogamous relationships can grow bored; women in non-monogamous ones, jealous.

There are many different kinds of relationships available to the romantically gifted man. There’s classical monogamy, of course. There are friends with benefits relationships and fuckbuddies. Open long-term relationships (polyamory). There’s one-sided monogamy. Even pimp-ho and master-slave relationships, if you really want to explore the dark side (which we won’t do here).

All these, more or less, fall into one of two categories: open (in which the partners may see other people) and exclusive (in which the partners don’t – or at least aren’t supposed to – see other people. Sometimes people are naughty though). Today’s article explores the two primary challenges each style of relationship faces: the biggest challenges to the health of exclusive and non-exclusive romantic relationships.

I recently kicked off a series (the “How to Build a Harem” series) to convey what I’ve learned about non-monogamous relationships and steer guys who are interested in such relationships in the right direction. I realized that before I can delve into non-monogamy, I need to showcase it as a comparison to the conventional model we all know about. I want to highlight the distinctions between challenges in both systems (if you’re in either one, you might see these in action in just a matter of months, but really they are inevitable).

No system is better than another. There are advantages and disadvantages to all flavors of relationship, but the challenges differ vastly by system. I’ll lay these out to help you figure out which system is right for you while also creating the best outcome for yourself long term.

Jealousy is a green-eyed monster. But to overcome it, you must adjust both your focus, and steer your partner’s worst behavior.

Sometimes you’ve got a girlfriend who’s a bit of a flirt and keeps guys around her on a hook. Sometimes you’ve got a girlfriend who’s a little oblivious (or at least, presents herself that way)... and keeps men around whose intentions with her are more than platonic, yet she acts like she doesn’t see it. Sometimes she doesn’t do any of that, but you’re nervous anyway. Maybe a girl’s burned you in the past, or you’re just a little short on trust in general. Regardless the reason, you know jealousy’s an issue for you... and it’s time to rein it in a bit.

This article is not about how to prevent cheating. If you need that, read my article on it: “How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend.” Nor is this article about how to screen for girls less likely to cause problems or cheat; for that, check out the list of resources in this article: “Her Raw Material or Your Relationship Skills: Which Matters More?”

Instead, this article is a reframe of normal male jealousy. For this article, we’ll assume you’re in a fairly healthy, fairly safe relationship where cheating is not that big of a real issue. If infidelity is a big issue, of course, you shouldn’t read an article on how to get rid of jealousy. You should, rather, probably read about how to get rid of a troublesome partner and replace her with someone less heartache-inducing.

We’re going to walk a bit of a fine line here. Because the goal is not to totally and completely erase jealousy altogether. Think of jealousy as a warning sign. It’s your canary in the coalmine. If the canary flips out and starts to chirp and squawk every time somebody comes down the mine elevator, it’s obviously not doing its job so well. But you don’t want to completely take the canary out of the mine either; otherwise you’ll receive no warning when the roof is about to collapse.

So, in this article, we will seek to get jealousy focused on only the right signals – and train it to ignore that which is not as much of a threat (or at least, that which is less of a threat).

Guys often want a woman who will nurture them. How does a man come to desire this – and is it really the healthiest relationship setup?

There is this dream many men have. In it, a man opens up and tell all his pains, fears, and weaknesses to a woman. In turn, the woman takes it all in, consoles the man, nurtures him, and loves him even more for his sensitivity and innocence.

Often men with this dream try to pull this off with this girl or that. Yet, they are disappointed. The girls they try it with do not respond with the warmth and acceptance they wish for. Instead, the girls they open up to are critical, rather than nurturing. These women often lose respect for them, rather than gain it.

Sometimes this reaction will cause a man to adapt: women are for companionship, homemaking, and sex; they are not for emotional support. Other times, it can cause a man to become bitter: there are no good women out there. No woman will accept me and love me for who I truly am.

Today’s article is about this idea of a nurturing woman you can tell anything you want to to, who will love you regardless how much weakness and vulnerability you share with her, and who will never leave you, no matter what. Are there women out there like this? And is there any role you must play in this – other than to simply offload your emotions to her, and have this girl carry your burdens for you, and bandage your wounds?

Once you’re in a relationship, the domestication process begins. Why do women do this – and how do you not become totally broken and domestic?

The difference between a serious long-term relationship and a short-term relationship, from the girl’s point of view, is complex in many ways.

She expects more investment from you, emotionally and logistically. You will have to spend more time with her than you would if she was a simple hookup. You will also have to do more than simply shag her then kick her out. You will meet her friends, her parents, and go with her to events and on dates. How much you should do this is up to the precedent you want to set and how often you WANT to see her. If you LIKE doing those things, then do them.

The emotional side of things is a bit more complicated. How much emotion you should show depends on the girl. The harder she is emotionally, that much harder you should be (i.e., the less emotional you should be with her). She should be the one most in love, the most lovey-dovey, and the most cuddly. This is not up to debate. However, if you show no emotion, you can cause her to become too insecure and cause a lot of drama so that you end up proving your love in a small burst (an emotional down payment into the “I won’t suddenly leave you” fund), or she’ll seek that emotional fulfillment elsewhere, in another man (and this might turn into sexual fulfillment, too).

She also expects some level of commitment. Sexual faithfulness is far less important to women than emotional faithfulness. A hookup or having some low-key side chicks doesn’t bother women too much, so long as they know they are your queen. Obviously don’t rub this in her face if you choose to have side chicks. Be discreet and low-key.

All of this, when viewed from the complete freedom of singledom, cannot be described any other way than domestication.

When you’re in a relationship, do you have to game your girlfriend? Yes! You need to know what to do once you’ve got her, how to keep things exciting, and what to do if it ends.

“How do I game a girlfriend?”

A pretty common question in this community.

Oftentimes mentors will respond with “You don’t game your girlfriend. It should be natural.” Well, I agree but disagree. Relationships aren’t something you can hold up with simple tactics. You have to genuinely be a cool guy so that when you run out of canned material, she’ll stick around.

I certainly think you can augment a relationship with proper understanding and tactics. There are most definitely ways to improve your relationships with women and better express what you want out of them if you know a thing or two about relationship game.

There are two big downsides to going bareback on girls: pregnancies and infections. But nobody talks about the upsides. What’s the truth about unprotected sex?

In my article last week on how to best please women, I mentioned having unprotected sex as a pleasure booster and devotion inducer. When you shag a girl raw, and especially when you cum in her, all other things being equal (i.e., the sex itself, and the experience of it, are also just as good), the experience for her (and for you) tops anything you can achieve with a condom on.

I also mentioned this was not an endorsement or a recommendation, and that you’d better know the risks. And that the risks for it aren’t minor (diseases and pregnancy being the Big Two).

We had a few readers ask for more on the topic in the comments of that article, however. One comment was:

“How are we having sex with these girls raw with no consequences? Lol

How do we get girls to have sex raw with us?
How do we know if she does this with everyone or not? How do we know we’re special ?
How do we know she’s clean
How do we not get her pregnant
How many girls would you advise we do this to?

I’m really curious, I love raw sex, but my safety is more important”

Another reader requested a proper article on having sex raw.

So, I’m going to give you the politically incorrect truth about raw dogging women – including women you’ve just met. Because there’s a lot of good information in the sex education you’ve had, but it had one problem: it went heavy on the fear, and light on the benefits.

We’ll talk both today.

Science tells us 7 factors matter for how pleased a woman is with sex. Whether it’s your first time with her or your 1000th, you’ll want to use these 7.

I have a fun post for you today on how to please women so thoroughly you get them hooked on you.

We’ll talk about getting her hooked your first time in bed... as well as keeping her hooked for a long time thereafter.

These tips come from discussions I’ve had with fellow lovers of women the years (men with triple-digit notch counts and plenty of experience pleasing all kinds of women) mixed up together with the very best science out there on female sexual satisfaction.

We’re going to start with the science, then get to the how-to. Of course, if you just want the practical “how to” on how to please a woman, you can always skip to it right here (or use the table of contents on the left).

Either way, by the end of this article, we’ll get you hooking just about every girl you wrangle into bed. The women you sleep with, from here forward, will not be able to get enough of you.

On with the show.