Relationship 101

When your multiple-relationship lifestyle fills beyond capacity, one or more aspects will suffer. This advice will help you minimize heartbreak and stay on track.

Welcome back to the How to Build a Harem series, aimed at making you proficient in the art of dating several women long term.

• In Part 1, we talked about Queen Theory and why all the girls you’re dating must always feel like your number-one girl.

• In Part 2, we talked about some of the differences and issues between monogamous and non-monogamous dating structures.

• In a supplement to the series, we talked about how to manage the inevitable jealousy that occurs in a harem and the role of discretion.

• In Part 3, we talked about compartments and the role of precedence in how you treat the girls in your system.

In Part 4, we’re going to talk about the different tiers of girlfriends and how your lifestyle and capacity for girls work together. One of the most important things to understand about creating harems and dating multiple women is your own capacity to do so.

The whole point of the harem system is to be able to date the girls you like in a capacity which suits you, while also maintaining room to meet, sleep with, and date new girls when such opportunities arise. To do this, a man must structure his harem carefully.

All relationships come with obstacles. Inexperience, jealousy, and societal pressure – just to name a few – can make polyamory particularly challenging.

Last time, I gave you some examples of my successful attempts at building polyamorous relationships. As anyone who succeeds at anything knows, however, the failures strewn along the path toward success vastly outnumber the cases in which you see favorable outcomes. It's like what they say about pregnancy – everyone congratulates you if you get pregnant, but nobody knows how many times you got screwed. Though I hate how sex-negative that saying is, it still makes for a funny way to demonstrate the point effectively.

I can't possibly document all the failures I've had. Mostly, when things didn't work out, the women involved had explicitly stated that they couldn't imagine being in a polyamorous relationship and expressed significant resistance to the idea of it. Sure, there were times I tried to make things work anyway, but they pretty much never turned into healthy relationships. In such cases, it's best to simply move on or just keep it casual. I'll leave most of those cases out and focus on a select few.

Being humans, our relationship desires don’t always fit with the culturally-prescribed model. So let’s explore the alternatives, and what to expect with each.

Gotta catch ‘em all! But seriously, it does help to have the skills of a Pokémon master to nab girls into your poly-ball. Here’s how I added 4 to my collection.

In my last article, I talked about how you can identify women with a higher proclivity toward polyamory, so you can go out and start building that polyamorous lifestyle you’ve always wanted.

I should also add the disclaimer that you’ll want to get good at “game” before attempting this. It’s a common stereotype that polyamorous couples consist of a girl who sleeps around a lot and a guy who’s clocked up three thousand hours on Dark Souls.

If you’re a guy who has trouble meeting women while your partner has new dates lined up every weekend and you turn to any polyamorous community for advice, they’re probably going to tell you to focus on developing yourself and finding other hobbies.

Well, I’m here to tell you that you should focus on developing yourself and getting good at pickup. If you’re a seduction newbie, practice approaches. Put in the work. Get consistent results. If you’re a straight man, think of polyamory as the next level.

Women who are open to polyamory are few and far between, especially in conservative environments. To find poly-partners, you need to look outside the box.

Let’s start right off with a disclaimer:

If you identify as conservative, you may find a lot of what I say in this article offensive. Bear in mind that I define “conservative” in a very specific way, and you may not have the same definition of it as I do.

In my last article, I talked about polyamory and one of my wonderful experiences within my polyamorous relationships. If that article piqued your interest and you’re interested in starting a polyamorous lifestyle, you probably have some questions. One of the most pressing questions you may have is:

“How can I find attractive, high-value women who would actually agree to being in a polyamorous relationship with me?”

For your harem to last, you must compartmentalize your girls and life in such a way as to respect Queen Theory… or drama will send it all crashing down.

Welcome back to the Harem series! It’s been a while. In Parts 3 and 4, we’ll cover some juicy stuff. In Part 1, we talked about Queen Theory and why all the girls you’re dating must always be made to feel like your number-one priority.

In another supplement to this series, we talked about the differences and issues between monogamous and non-monogamous dating structures. In Part 2, we talked about jealousy and the role of discretion, why they exist, and how to manage them (as they are inevitable).

If you haven’t had a chance to review those articles, I highly recommend you do so to catch up on the concepts, because this and upcoming articles will build upon all of them, such as the different tiers of girlfriends a man can have, and how his lifestyle and capacity for girls go hand-in-hand.

We’ll cover how to structure your relationship compartments to respect Queen Theory, protect all your different relationships, and maintain a woman’s social face.

When you kick a girl out (or leave her place yourself), you set excellent precedent – for the long-term of that relationship.

There's one very special thing you should do with every girlfriend you plan to be with longer than a month or two.

It's a thing she will always remember - one of those memories that sticks in the brain.

She may not necessarily cherish it... but then again, she may.

That thing is to kick her out.

You can also leave. Though leaving is less powerful than giving a girl the boot.

You don't want to do this capriciously. You should only do this if a girl truly gives you a good reason to.

Fortunately, women being the boundary-testers they are, sooner or later every girl will give you a good reason.

And when you give her the boot - or take your stuff and go - you set a precedent for the entire rest of the relationship that makes everything else you do easier... because it's backed up with teeth.