Men Style

Alek’s recommended reading list. Included: books on philosophy and meaning, and a trove of tomes on sex, romance, and romantic relationships.

Hey everyone! I hope you’re all doing well.

Today I would like to share my reading list. Chase (part 1 | part 2) and Tony Depp (here) have done so in the past, and it’s time I joined the fold.

I usually read academic books that tend to be technical. Although some may be more challenging than others, which is good for you, none are on this list. I also read many scientific publications. I could write a separate article covering interesting papers that I like to read about sexuality and related subjects (within the theme of this site).

The books I am about to recommend are primarily related to the subjects of:

1. Dating

2. Sex

3. Relationships

Other books are about moral philosophy and political theory. They are interesting as they discuss themes like human nature and society.

If not directly related to our field, they can apply to the discussion. I will try to clarify how they tie in with what we look at here, although I will also leave ideas open for you to interpret and apply the theories as you please.

All books written by philosophers are academic with no pseudo-scientific literature. I’m not a fan of cheap self-help philosophy. There will be none of that here.

Without further ado, here is a list of my all-time favorite philosophy books.

The most attractive men stand out. But many men fear standing out too much; to do so is to invite criticism, exclusion, or attack. How do you stand out in positive ways, and not negative ones?

One of the biggest early revelations for me, and one I discussed with our charisma course, which we completed the launch for last week, was that by making myself stand out in various ways, all the way back in junior high school, I suddenly became much more attractive to women.

It wasn't like I became physically better looking, or taller, or more athletic. I'd only changed things like the way I dressed, my hair, my glasses, the way I walked and how fast, and other things. Then, suddenly, every junior high girl and her sister was chasing me for dates. The hottest cheerleaders in school asked me out, as did some cute regular girls (and a few not-so-cute girls too).

At the time I was totally struck by it and could not understand why suddenly I had become this object of fascination for my school's women. After all... I was this loner kid who read books too much, didn't play sports, and for years was considered the 'school nerd'. Why were all these pretty, popular girls chasing me?

Then it clicked for me that I had made myself stand out, in a variety of mostly attractive ways, and that was the reason why.

After that, I became obsessed with standing out. Everywhere I went, everything I did, I had to stand out -- and not just in any way, but in attractive ways.

This is a common thread I see in guys who get good with girls: they always stand out in a variety of attractive, visible ways. Some are ways they tweak their appearances and nonverbals (i.e., their fundamentals); some are ways they behave, and the things they say and do. But they all stand out. They are all recognizably different.

Likewise, I notice with guys who don't get good with girls there is an opposite common thread: they try to fully conform, keep their heads down, and not stand out. They fear standing out and will resist if you try to get them to do it. They will also exaggerate how much they stand out, both internally and to you, claiming they stand out a lot while to you and everyone else they barely stand out at all.

But if you want to get more women into you, and chasing you, and you also want more recognition from men, then you are going to need to stand out.

Byronic flaws make a man more interesting, and much more bondable in courtships and relationships. Yet there’s an art to revealing them that many men often get wrong...

I recently worked with a hard case guy on a repeated relationship problem he has. Periodically, his relationships fail, inexplicably to him, with every woman he dates peeling off and wanting out.

He's been unable to understand why, but with this latest girl she gave him a lot of very clear feedback, that also mirrors feedback he's gotten from other girlfriends, as well as mirrors my own feeling personally with him.

That feedback was this:

That the girl, despite six months of trying to peel back his layers, was never able to get to know the real him. She feels like, after six months of attempts, she's still right back where she started with him, and is tired of trying.

This is a guy who, in most on-paper respects, should be a desirable guy. He's tall, accomplished, has good fundamentals, and good game. He's well-nigh unshakeable in his frame and is relentlessly optimistic (without being unrealistic). He's an ex-military man and is tough-as-nails, yet is also a religious man and is caring and intelligent, if sometimes not always totally attuned to why a woman is doing what she's doing.

What I realized on looking at how this latest girlfriend quit the relationship is that he isn't letting women peel his layers back properly, and this is causing women to feel like they don't even really know him.

Which in turn causes those women to feel like failures, then causes them to leave.

What I said to him was, "You need to help women peel your layers back properly. You might also need to get more comfortable yourself showing people more of whom you are underneath your armor."

Some guys say looks are all that (or most of what) matters when it comes attracting women. This article uses mountains of photographic evidence to bury that theory forever.

Every time we talk about looks on Girls Chase, we get some guys in the comments or on the forum who get upset and tell us we're totally delusional and looks are the central thing.

These are the types I consider 'looks purists' and/or 'looks absolutists'. This site is one of the few in the seduction niche that is out there saying, "Looks are important, and it should be one of your priorities to work on yours," yet these guys still show up to tell us our focus is still not heavily enough on looks, and/or that it is pointless to try to work on looks because the only thing women pay attention to are your genetic facial traits.

I can tell you as a guy who has enjoyed success in a number of different fields that getting too obsessed with one particular aspect of success and putting it on a pedestal and making it absolute and pushing for pureness is a certain way to failure in that field.

With all things, dating included, you must have balance in your approach if you want success.

(honestly I'm somewhat befuddled why the hardcore looks guys read Girls Chase. You'd think they'd be busy doing facial training exercises or reading about who are the best plastic surgeons or something)

We've had plenty of articles very clearly disproving the 'looks are the main thing!' reductionist perspective of attraction. I'll link them in a moment if you want to go through them.

However, today, I want to conduct a fun experiment with you, that will be enjoyable for most people, meanwhile causing looks-are-everything acolytes to implode in a pile of cognitively dissonant goo.

The charismatic arts are the province of politicians, celebrities, and other VIPs. Follow these steps to learn how to build charisma.

Ever wished gorgeous girls would take you more seriously as a potential lover?

Perhaps you’ve wondered how to gain their respect so your seductions would proceed smoother, and women would feel the same passionate emotions you do. After all, it can be extremely frustrating to meet new girls who don’t give you much to work with or match your interest levels.

If so, you’re in luck! There’s a rare breed of man who has freed himself from that plateau. Men like these are called Visionaries — and, as you may have already guessed, they get women investing readily.

Dominant, sexually attractive men take up space in their environments and touch the things around them. They look cool, comfortable, and confident where they are.

I was at the gym yesterday (my condolences to those of you in areas where they have barred your gyms and locked you in your homes). In between workouts I was doing my usual arm movements to stay limber, or leaning on equipment/benches for a breather.

I noticed a lot of guys in between sets would just kind of stand around, or maybe sit somewhere. The effect was I ended up commanding more of the space around me than these guys commanded around them.

This wasn't something I was doing intentionally. I don't really care if people think I'm an ALPHA MALE in the gym. The gym I go to is fairly hardcore and there aren't a lot of women there (so it's not like I'll be picking up there... though I do also like gyms that are good for pickup).

The observation got me thinking about something I always tell guys to work on with their fundamentals, but hadn't talked about in a while: take up space and touch things in your environment.

This is something that all dominant men do, usually without thought.

It is a very visible cue to a man's personal feeling of comfort in and control over his environment. You can just look at whether a guy is doing this to very rapidly figure out how 'at home' he is wherever he is and whether he feels like it's 'his' environment.

Women look at this too, and it influences their attraction to you.

Men with the drive to truly excel in seduction possess one of several profiles. Each profile with its different traits and motivations pushes a man’s seduction journey in different directions.

Did you know that the skills you learn in your seducer’s journey are applicable in other areas of life?

For instance, many car salespeople use the contrast principle to increase their personal wealth. The argumentation a lawyer uses to defend a client in court is laced with verbal intent.

Your goal as a seducer is to wield influence to affect the desires and inhibitions of the girls you meet.

However, any game student without a clear sense of his inhibitions will be vulnerable to the influence of others. Most people are influenced every day without being aware.

If you learn to cross-examine your inhibitions and personal desires, you can improve your instincts and become an uninhibited seducer who won’t be easily led astray.

Today we’re going to look at three types of uninhibited men. We’ll also consider some essential features of human nature to help you illuminate the mystery and darkness surrounding your deepest desires so you can find fulfillment in your seducer’s journey.