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Why It's Harder for Guys with Good Jobs to Get Girls

Chase Amante's picture
guys with good jobs get girlsGuys with good jobs have a lot of good stuff going on. But, quite often, success with women isn’t one of them. Why is this so? For several reasons.

We had a discussion on the Skilled Seducer forum recently where we talked about how a successful career intersects with a man's ability to succeed with women.

I shared my experience, as both a guy with a good corporate job, then as a guy with various artistic jobs, finally as a guy who was unemployed, and then again later as an entrepreneur, and how I found women reacted to that.

Basically: good corporate job or successful entrepreneur are the hardest things to present yourself as if you want to pick up girls. You are much better off being an artist or unemployed.

I figured this out pretty early on and presented myself as an artist even when I had a well-paying corporate job at a prestigious company. I simply avoided telling women about this... well, if I had any kind of sexual or romantic designs on them.

Why should this be so, though? Why would women be more attractive to an artist, or even an unemployed guy, than one who's holding down a solid, stable 9-to-5 at a respectable, well-known company, or forging his own path as an entrepreneur?

Status vs. Comfort vs. Genes

Chase Amante's picture
status vs. comfort vs. genesThere are three types of men: those who want status, those who want comfort, and those who want genes. Which type of woman you prefer depends on which type of man you are.

There are three (3) kinds of people in the world when it comes to mate selection:

  1. Those who seek status: i.e., the flashiest, most popular mates

  1. Those who seek comfort: i.e., the coziest, most companionable mates

  1. Those who seek genes: i.e., the most genetically gifted, naturally elite mates

My experience in a decade-and-a-half instructing men in this space is that these preferences appear to be hardwired, whether by genetics or early life experiences. I've never known an individual to switch underlying mate selection paradigms.

The kinds of mates each type of individual is seeking and the most optimal ways to encounter them differs according to the mating paradigm. This introduces some subtle (and some not-so-subtle) differences in what styles of game each type prefers, and each type's opinions on which sorts of mates are the high watermark.

Clashes between the styles occur when a member of one or the other type insists his preferences are the best, and anyone who disagrees must be fooling himself.

Today though, we'll clear away the bullshit and look at things straight.

Why Do People Think You Need Money to Get Girls?

Chase Amante's picture
need money to get girlsHow much does it cost to live a life that consistently brings you top shelf girls? Not as much as you might expect.

We had a forum thread recently where a member was asking how much money you'd realistically need to sleep with a lot of top shelf, high quality girls.

I assume what he meant was rich girls, successful girls, good-looking girls with lots of options, etc.

He listed out a bunch of things he thought you'd need in order to consistently get girls like this, such as:

  • Dining out costs
  • Gym costs and supplements
  • Transportation costs
  • Downtown apartment costs

... and so on.

I went through and did the math on it for him and came back with a minimum Spartan total of $780/mo to pay for housing, food, transport, and other things to live in a big Western metropolis with no amenities to consistently lay top shelf women.

However, I suggested he probably try to aim for at least $1500/month in income so he wasn't having to go super Spartan.

One forum member came back to note that he agreed with me on everything but what I put for housing; $400/mo (my 'housing on the outskirts of the city' low-end estimate) would only get you the tiniest, seediest room in a big city, he said.

But that's what I'm talking about: I've lived in a $300/mo tiny room (so tiny I had to get rid of most of my belongings before I moved in... coming from a larger apartment I could more easily afford, back when I was gainfully employed) in a house in the bad part of town with a roommate who left little, tiny hairs all over the bathroom every day (I could never figure out where all the hairs were coming from, or why they were there, DAILY. The man had a major shedding problem).

I had to clean up that hairy bathroom every time I had a girl coming over because I didn't want her to puke going in there. The roommate would never clean it up. (the other roommate was cool, but he didn't use that bathroom)

BUT, I also kept that dirty roommate up very late at night listening to the moans and yells of the chicks I brought back home, so I guess it evened out. The walls there were very thin.

I've been the guy picking up top shelf girls to shag in a dingy, tiny room in the bad part of town.

I've had other friends who've been that guy too.

It never ceases to amaze me though at how many guys think you NEED a bunch of money to get a bunch of top quality girls.

Because you don't.

What Causes 'Bad Vibes' from People?

Chase Amante's picture
bad vibes causeWhy do some people give out “bad vibes”? What is it they’re doing… why do people react that way… and is there anything you can do to make the bad vibes go?

Commenting on my article "12 Mistakes that SCREW UP Conversations & Flirtations", yseult says:

Love your explanation on bad vibes.

Could you give a more in depth explanation of what drives vibes, where does it stem from?

Not necessarily the practical side of it but mostly an in depth view of how your inner world and beliefs shape your vibe.

I have a history of giving off bad vibes and I'm glad to say I've shaved most of it off.

Nevertheless, I doubt I understand what I was doign wrong from an intellectual level.

I think bad vibes is one of the things most newer guys have trouble with yet fail to spot it.

The way I spotted it was simply asking close friends direct, brutal honest opinions about the impression I give off. It sucked hearing it but man, Im glad they didn't spare my feelings.Im a much better man for it now.

Once upon a time, another lifetime ago, I used to exude some pretty unsettling vibes myself.

Women who met me said I was "scary" or that they thought I had "bad intentions".

Men who knew me told me outright they'd never mess with me because they thought I'd "go psycho" on them or that, like the girls said, I was "scary."

I was often taken aside to be searched by airport security (most people I knew never were; it must've happened to me half a dozen times in a few dozen flights).

I was even stopped by police walking down the sidewalk in nice neighborhoods because they were looking for a "suspicious person" and I matched the description. I don't know many men with skin my shade that's happened to.

In large part this was by design; I had decided to become a scary, intimidating man. I succeeded.

At some point though I realized terrifying other people wasn't so well aligned with my life goals anymore, at which point I had to undo the whole 'bad vibes' thing I'd so carefully put together, and construct a different kind of vibe altogether.

A few years later my vibe was so different that when I'd tell women about how people used to react to me in my bad vibes day they'd laugh and tell me they did not believe me.

I like that I went through that bad vibes period, because I know how to turn it on and be seriously, seriously scary to people now if I want to. At the same time, learning to get over that also taught me how to come across in a tranquil, charming, welcoming, seductive way, and turn that on more or less at will too. I have to be in a pretty bad place mentally to not be able to do that now (and if I'm in that bad a place, I probably ought to be worried about resolving whatever the issue is, rather than charming people).

This article will be about those bad vibes: what causes them, plus how to make them go away.

Legendary Charisma Is All in Where You Put Your FOCUS

Chase Amante's picture
legendary charismaCharisma is a set of outward signals and behaviors, but it begins in the mind. The wrong mental focus makes you uncharismatic. Yet use the right one, and you magnetize.

We've got two (2) days remaining in the Charisma In A Bottle relaunch.

This is probably the last thing I'll write about charisma for a while, since I'm just about all charisma'd out.

However, before we put a bow on the relaunch, I want to cover this one last key tidbit about charisma:

How huge an element focus is to a man's ability to be charismatic, and just what is entailed in getting your focus dialed in just right.

Charisma Breakdown: Robert Downey, Jr.

Chase Amante's picture
Robert Downey, Jr. charismaWhat’s the secret to Robert Downey, Jr.’s exuberant charisma? He’s a perceptive guy who reacts fast to whatever situation he’s in, and it all adds up to magnetism.

All right! We're partway into the Charisma In A Bottle relaunch.

I hope you've picked up your copy already if you didn't grab it a year ago, and are thoroughly enjoying the material.

If you've not grabbed it yet, keep in mind there are just a few short days left before the Touch-A-Girl System bonus goes away, and you'll never see Charisma + Lifestyle + Touch for the same one price again.

Pick up your copy of Charisma In A Bottle with all the bonuses (+ Touch) right here.

Today I wanted to continue the 'Charisma Breakdown' series, and I wanted to use a modern actor everyone's quite familiar with. We're taking a break from super sexy charisma (as we had with Errol Flynn, Sean Connery, and Russell Brand) and moving back into super cool charisma (like we had with our first charisma breakdown of John Wayne).

In this installment, we'll be looking at Robert Downey, Jr.

There are already a lot of charisma analysis videos online centered on Downey. They've done a great job mining clips and have provided some nice high-level analysis.

What we'll do in this article will be to take some of the clips other YouTube channels have already put together, and drilling down past the surface-level aspects of charisma on display to really get into the nuts and bolts of what makes Downey's charisma work.

Charisma Breakdown: Sean Connery

Chase Amante's picture
sean connery charismaWhat made Sean Connery’s James Bond so compelling? Connery’s relaxed, provocative, self-amused style gave his characters a charismatic air unlike any other actor’s.

I've always liked Sean Connery.

The way he carries himself and interacts with women has always impressed.

It's no coincidence that Connery (as we've covered on Girls Chase before) even into his 80s still had admiring female fans in their teens, twenties, and thirties talking about how sexy they found him. You can go click on that link and read a few screenshots I took of it if you want evidence.

What made Connery so sexy? He had good looks, and he had his leading man roles, and the wealth, fame, and status that came with those. But there are plenty of men like that in Hollywood -- more classically good-looking, with bigger roles, more wealth, fame, and status -- who don't command close to the kind irresistible charm Connery did.

That special something Connery had that set him a head above his peers was charisma -- in particular, charisma embodying the Father archetype from our four Charismatic Archetypes, covered far more in-depth in my upcoming course, Charisma in a Bottle.

If you're just tuning in, here are our prior three entries in the Charismatic Breakdown series:

  1. John Wayne: King Archetype charisma
  2. Russell Brand: Savior Archetype charisma
  3. Errol Flynn: Hero Arcehtype charisma

Now let's have a look at just how Sean Connery did it.

Logistics Checklist: What to Prepare for Good Seductions

Alek Rolstad's picture
logistics checklistMake it easier on yourself to seduce by having everything you need logistically. Including what to have on your person, on your phone, and at home at your place.

Hey guys. I hope you are doing well.

Today we will discuss the important but under-discussed topic of logistics. No matter how good you are, logistics are crucial for success. Logistics are key no matter when you approach women or what type of game you use.

The importance of logistics is undisputed. Nobody would dare disagree with this.

Logistics is everything in the interaction that facilitates or complicates the process. It includes the context in which the interaction and seduction take place. You can control some aspects and some you cannot. However, you can deal with unfortunate logistics (wildcards); see my post on the subject.

You can actively seek out some logistics (girls with two friends; sets of three are easier to deal with than sets of two), and there are others to avoid (a group of girls where one is very drunk, likely to cause wildcards later).

Today we will discuss the logistics you can control and implement RIGHT AWAY effortlessly. This post is useful for seducers of all levels.

We will discuss what you need:

  • To carry with you in your pocket or bag when you go out

  • To have at your place when you pull her home

Sometimes logistics alone can get you laid. It is not that common, but it does occur. However, bad logistics can ruin many potential lays. Once, I forgot to have cigarettes at home, which led me to nearly lose a threesome with two very cute Finnish girls in 2009. A student of mine missed a potential lay because he forgot to download Uber or any transportation app! Trust me, losing a lay because of stupid logistic issues are frustrating as hell, and you can easily avoid these pitfalls.

Well, no more with this post.

This list will be extensive. I have been into this for over 15 years, and I have been in almost every logistic loophole imaginable. So some of my advice can counteract some uncommon situations, but the little effort required on your end to avoid facing it makes it worthwhile to consider.

I am not claiming that you need to have everything listed here to get laid. Even if your logistics are not perfect, you often can get away with it—until you don’t. It is the latter scenario that I dedicate this post to. Logistics are a requirement to get laid in most circumstances. Bad logistics can ruin your game if you don’t take care of them. So, let’s take care of them, and if you implement most if not all the advice listed here, you can safeguard yourself from much trouble.

Charisma Breakdown: Errol Flynn

Chase Amante's picture
errol flynnHollywood’s most prolific, charismatic womanizer of all time, Errol Flynn was a magnetic force unlike any other. Just what made Flynn so utterly irresistible?

Welcome to the third installment in this Charisma Breakdown series.

For the series, I've been breaking down the mannerisms and behaviors of wildly charismatic individuals, along the lines of the four Charismatic Archetypes we discuss in greater depth in my soon-to-be-rereleased course, Charisma in a Bottle.

You can see the previous two installments here:

  1. Charisma Breakdown: John Wayne (King Archetype)

  2. Charisma Breakdown: Russell Brand (Savior Archetype)

It was my intention to do the Father Archetype next, then the Hero, but it's been a bit of a challenge finding good Father Archetype charismatics who also fit a seductive role. I think I'll most likely do Sean Connery for that, who fits the Father Archetype, and for whom I've promised to do a charisma breakdown for a while.

Meantime though, I'm just too eager to get to Errol Flynn... so we're going to jump ahead here to do the Hero.

Today we cover cinema's most legendary swashbuckler and Hollywood's biggest ever real-life charismatic womanizer: the magnetic, the charming, the irresistible Errol Flynn.

Charisma Breakdown: Russell Brand

Chase Amante's picture
charisma breakdown: russell brandRussell Brand oozes electric charisma, of a very specific archetype: he is the Savior, who will sweep you away from dreary ordinary life to a world of fun, enlightenment, and orgasms.

Ready for another charisma breakdown?

Last time we discussed John Wayne, who exemplifies the 'King' charismatic archetype.

Today we'll be looking at a different charismatic archetype... the Savior. Our Savior will be Russell Brand.

Russell Brand, a Savior?

Oh yes. Russell Brand uses his charisma to lead people toward salvation. It's no fluke he's jumped into the political space, casting light on issues of he believes need leadership and encouraging people to be free (like in his recent short, fun video highlighting the military-industrial complex operating within American news media).

With Brand's beard and long hair, he even looks like a certain famous Savior (and indeed, has his own filmed performance on the subject entitled Messiah Complex).

If we look at how he interacts with women, we'll see that there, too, he embodies the role of the Charismatic Savior.

Let's have a closer look.