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The Magnetic Man, Pt. 2: State Control Games

Daniel Adebayo's picture
magnetic man sitting on outdoor benchBalance the body to control the state, and exude a powerful attractive magnetism. Use the strategies employed by yoga, Zen, and martial arts masters to attain inner balance.

Welcome to Part 2 of this series. If you did not read Part 1, on fundamental exercises to gain more control of the body, and thus the mind, I might recommend you read it first, though it’s not required to use this post.

Women often get swept up in their emotions around magnetic men.

They experience many feelings, too: curiosity, excitement, heartache, lustful longing, and primal ecstasy, to name a few. But did you know the emotional impact available to any man directly relates to the depth of his motive?

Think of your average guy writing a comment on a hot girl’s social media page. Then compare him to a man who sees a beautiful woman at a park who quickly sizes up the area. Think about how this environment affects each of her senses and how he can come up with a cold read or reality pace opener.

You could say both men are motivated by female attention, and you would be right.

However, one is hoping for a few seconds of online attention. While the other wants to captivate the woman in front of him. And motivation can go deeper. If you’ve learned about seduction’s luck surface area, you know going out aiming to pull gives you much better chances of getting lucky.

There is a noticeable difference in grit between the guys who go out trying to get approaches and men who commit their afternoon or night to meet attractive girls, moving things forward whenever opportunities arise. It’s also as clear as day which men have a better chance of having the emotional impact that inspires women to follow them home.

Of course, personal magnetism also plays a key role in a man’s impact on the women he meets.

The more magnetic you become, the more you experience another side of women that most men rarely see. These experiences give you even more confidence to deepen your motives.

Since men tend to get swept up in their emotions around pretty girls, the next part of magnetism we’ll explore is state control because this can be an issue at any level.

Some seasoned seducers try to repress how women make them feel into a sludge of rational or apathetic mush, then suddenly find themselves overtaken by fatigue and hysterical outbursts. What’s more, beginners and intermediates often have experiences that send them into shock; then, they’ll fixate and fantasize about a girl to the point of obsession. It’s also not uncommon to hear sad tales online of men who expected women to take their emotions as seriously as they did, and women don’t.

Human emotions play by their own rules and move around, sometimes in unpredictable ways that appear illogical. It’s why new students and skilled seducers find themselves immobilized in plateaus—not from external obstacles; instead, their journey slows down due to emotional resistance.

Choose Your Romantic Strategy: Alpha, Friend, or Outsider

Chase Amante's picture
romantic strategiesFriend, high status male, or outsider: every man must choose one of three romantic strategies to follow. The choice he makes determines the game he runs and the girls he gets.

As I read the fascinating book The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller, I continue to have nice highlights and wonderful little insights.

(previous installment: “Males of Every Species Must Learn Game to Mate”)

My latest highlight comes from this passage by Miller, discussing scientific research into primate (including human) mate selection preferences:

Three kinds of female preference have been reported in primates: preferences for high-ranking males capable of protecting females and offspring from other males; preferences for male “friends” that have groomed the female a lot and have been kind to her offspring; and preferences for new males from outside the group, perhaps to avoid genetic inbreeding.

And it’s a good insight and lets us split up the three different types of men women go for and the different ways they get together with those men. We have of course:

  • High status “alpha male” type partners

  • Kindly “friend zone” type partners

  • Outsider “sigma male” type partners

Anyone advising any man on dating will have his preferences about which of these romantic strategies he recommends as the ideal path to follow… but it will always be one of these three.

Today I’d like to have a balanced look at the differences between these three kinds of men a woman will date.

The Magnetic Man, Pt. 1: Fundamental Exercises

Daniel Adebayo's picture
magnetic manStep 1 in becoming more personally magnetic is to gain more awareness and control over your body. Your body is how you communicate with the world… so you must gain wisdom of it.

Every man can increase his magnetism.

It’s an obvious quality that is hard to define. We see it in actors, dancers, models, martial artists, spiritual gurus, world leaders, modern celebrities, and old-fashioned sex symbols who dominate the screen and stage. But we also see computer programmers, university students, and those in business who are magnetic men. Personal magnetism is a quality that easily transcends career, culture, and even race.

Most men aren’t magnetic, though. Most men are just some guy.

They are faceless and uninteresting to the girls they meet. And when girls find it hard to remember you, reaching the hook point or arousing them feels like pushing a boulder up a steep mountain.

If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re tired of women seeing you as just some guy.

You want to be magnetic and easily attract women, like a moth drawn to a flame. And if you are already magnetic, most likely, part of you still feels curious about this powerful quality.

You might ask yourself, “Can I increase my magnetism?” The answer is a resounding yes.

Whether a new student of the game or a seasoned veteran of seduction, there is always an opportunity to become a more magnetic man. And it starts with a simple skill called body wisdom.

Why It's Harder for Guys with Good Jobs to Get Girls

Chase Amante's picture
guys with good jobs get girlsGuys with good jobs have a lot of good stuff going on. But, quite often, success with women isn’t one of them. Why is this so? For several reasons.

We had a discussion on the Skilled Seducer forum recently where we talked about how a successful career intersects with a man's ability to succeed with women.

I shared my experience, as both a guy with a good corporate job, then as a guy with various artistic jobs, finally as a guy who was unemployed, and then again later as an entrepreneur, and how I found women reacted to that.

Basically: good corporate job or successful entrepreneur are the hardest things to present yourself as if you want to pick up girls. You are much better off being an artist or unemployed.

I figured this out pretty early on and presented myself as an artist even when I had a well-paying corporate job at a prestigious company. I simply avoided telling women about this... well, if I had any kind of sexual or romantic designs on them.

Why should this be so, though? Why would women be more attractive to an artist, or even an unemployed guy, than one who's holding down a solid, stable 9-to-5 at a respectable, well-known company, or forging his own path as an entrepreneur?

Status vs. Comfort vs. Genes

Chase Amante's picture
status vs. comfort vs. genesThere are three types of men: those who want status, those who want comfort, and those who want genes. Which type of woman you prefer depends on which type of man you are.

There are three (3) kinds of people in the world when it comes to mate selection:

  1. Those who seek status: i.e., the flashiest, most popular mates

  1. Those who seek comfort: i.e., the coziest, most companionable mates

  1. Those who seek genes: i.e., the most genetically gifted, naturally elite mates

My experience in a decade-and-a-half instructing men in this space is that these preferences appear to be hardwired, whether by genetics or early life experiences. I've never known an individual to switch underlying mate selection paradigms.

The kinds of mates each type of individual is seeking and the most optimal ways to encounter them differs according to the mating paradigm. This introduces some subtle (and some not-so-subtle) differences in what styles of game each type prefers, and each type's opinions on which sorts of mates are the high watermark.

Clashes between the styles occur when a member of one or the other type insists his preferences are the best, and anyone who disagrees must be fooling himself.

Today though, we'll clear away the bullshit and look at things straight.

Why Do People Think You Need Money to Get Girls?

Chase Amante's picture
need money to get girlsHow much does it cost to live a life that consistently brings you top shelf girls? Not as much as you might expect.

We had a forum thread recently where a member was asking how much money you'd realistically need to sleep with a lot of top shelf, high quality girls.

I assume what he meant was rich girls, successful girls, good-looking girls with lots of options, etc.

He listed out a bunch of things he thought you'd need in order to consistently get girls like this, such as:

  • Dining out costs
  • Gym costs and supplements
  • Transportation costs
  • Downtown apartment costs

... and so on.

I went through and did the math on it for him and came back with a minimum Spartan total of $780/mo to pay for housing, food, transport, and other things to live in a big Western metropolis with no amenities to consistently lay top shelf women.

However, I suggested he probably try to aim for at least $1500/month in income so he wasn't having to go super Spartan.

One forum member came back to note that he agreed with me on everything but what I put for housing; $400/mo (my 'housing on the outskirts of the city' low-end estimate) would only get you the tiniest, seediest room in a big city, he said.

But that's what I'm talking about: I've lived in a $300/mo tiny room (so tiny I had to get rid of most of my belongings before I moved in... coming from a larger apartment I could more easily afford, back when I was gainfully employed) in a house in the bad part of town with a roommate who left little, tiny hairs all over the bathroom every day (I could never figure out where all the hairs were coming from, or why they were there, DAILY. The man had a major shedding problem).

I had to clean up that hairy bathroom every time I had a girl coming over because I didn't want her to puke going in there. The roommate would never clean it up. (the other roommate was cool, but he didn't use that bathroom)

BUT, I also kept that dirty roommate up very late at night listening to the moans and yells of the chicks I brought back home, so I guess it evened out. The walls there were very thin.

I've been the guy picking up top shelf girls to shag in a dingy, tiny room in the bad part of town.

I've had other friends who've been that guy too.

It never ceases to amaze me though at how many guys think you NEED a bunch of money to get a bunch of top quality girls.

Because you don't.

What Causes 'Bad Vibes' from People?

Chase Amante's picture
bad vibes causeWhy do some people give out “bad vibes”? What is it they’re doing… why do people react that way… and is there anything you can do to make the bad vibes go?

Commenting on my article "12 Mistakes that SCREW UP Conversations & Flirtations", yseult says:

Love your explanation on bad vibes.

Could you give a more in depth explanation of what drives vibes, where does it stem from?

Not necessarily the practical side of it but mostly an in depth view of how your inner world and beliefs shape your vibe.

I have a history of giving off bad vibes and I'm glad to say I've shaved most of it off.

Nevertheless, I doubt I understand what I was doign wrong from an intellectual level.

I think bad vibes is one of the things most newer guys have trouble with yet fail to spot it.

The way I spotted it was simply asking close friends direct, brutal honest opinions about the impression I give off. It sucked hearing it but man, Im glad they didn't spare my feelings.Im a much better man for it now.

Once upon a time, another lifetime ago, I used to exude some pretty unsettling vibes myself.

Women who met me said I was "scary" or that they thought I had "bad intentions".

Men who knew me told me outright they'd never mess with me because they thought I'd "go psycho" on them or that, like the girls said, I was "scary."

I was often taken aside to be searched by airport security (most people I knew never were; it must've happened to me half a dozen times in a few dozen flights).

I was even stopped by police walking down the sidewalk in nice neighborhoods because they were looking for a "suspicious person" and I matched the description. I don't know many men with skin my shade that's happened to.

In large part this was by design; I had decided to become a scary, intimidating man. I succeeded.

At some point though I realized terrifying other people wasn't so well aligned with my life goals anymore, at which point I had to undo the whole 'bad vibes' thing I'd so carefully put together, and construct a different kind of vibe altogether.

A few years later my vibe was so different that when I'd tell women about how people used to react to me in my bad vibes day they'd laugh and tell me they did not believe me.

I like that I went through that bad vibes period, because I know how to turn it on and be seriously, seriously scary to people now if I want to. At the same time, learning to get over that also taught me how to come across in a tranquil, charming, welcoming, seductive way, and turn that on more or less at will too. I have to be in a pretty bad place mentally to not be able to do that now (and if I'm in that bad a place, I probably ought to be worried about resolving whatever the issue is, rather than charming people).

This article will be about those bad vibes: what causes them, plus how to make them go away.

Legendary Charisma Is All in Where You Put Your FOCUS

Chase Amante's picture
legendary charismaCharisma is a set of outward signals and behaviors, but it begins in the mind. The wrong mental focus makes you uncharismatic. Yet use the right one, and you magnetize.

We've got two (2) days remaining in the Charisma In A Bottle relaunch.

This is probably the last thing I'll write about charisma for a while, since I'm just about all charisma'd out.

However, before we put a bow on the relaunch, I want to cover this one last key tidbit about charisma:

How huge an element focus is to a man's ability to be charismatic, and just what is entailed in getting your focus dialed in just right.

Charisma Breakdown: Robert Downey, Jr.

Chase Amante's picture
Robert Downey, Jr. charismaWhat’s the secret to Robert Downey, Jr.’s exuberant charisma? He’s a perceptive guy who reacts fast to whatever situation he’s in, and it all adds up to magnetism.

All right! We're partway into the Charisma In A Bottle relaunch.

I hope you've picked up your copy already if you didn't grab it a year ago, and are thoroughly enjoying the material.

If you've not grabbed it yet, keep in mind there are just a few short days left before the Touch-A-Girl System bonus goes away, and you'll never see Charisma + Lifestyle + Touch for the same one price again.

Pick up your copy of Charisma In A Bottle with all the bonuses (+ Touch) right here.

Today I wanted to continue the 'Charisma Breakdown' series, and I wanted to use a modern actor everyone's quite familiar with. We're taking a break from super sexy charisma (as we had with Errol Flynn, Sean Connery, and Russell Brand) and moving back into super cool charisma (like we had with our first charisma breakdown of John Wayne).

In this installment, we'll be looking at Robert Downey, Jr.

There are already a lot of charisma analysis videos online centered on Downey. They've done a great job mining clips and have provided some nice high-level analysis.

What we'll do in this article will be to take some of the clips other YouTube channels have already put together, and drilling down past the surface-level aspects of charisma on display to really get into the nuts and bolts of what makes Downey's charisma work.

Charisma Breakdown: Sean Connery

Chase Amante's picture
sean connery charismaWhat made Sean Connery’s James Bond so compelling? Connery’s relaxed, provocative, self-amused style gave his characters a charismatic air unlike any other actor’s.

I've always liked Sean Connery.

The way he carries himself and interacts with women has always impressed.

It's no coincidence that Connery (as we've covered on Girls Chase before) even into his 80s still had admiring female fans in their teens, twenties, and thirties talking about how sexy they found him. You can go click on that link and read a few screenshots I took of it if you want evidence.

What made Connery so sexy? He had good looks, and he had his leading man roles, and the wealth, fame, and status that came with those. But there are plenty of men like that in Hollywood -- more classically good-looking, with bigger roles, more wealth, fame, and status -- who don't command close to the kind irresistible charm Connery did.

That special something Connery had that set him a head above his peers was charisma -- in particular, charisma embodying the Father archetype from our four Charismatic Archetypes, covered far more in-depth in my upcoming course, Charisma in a Bottle.

If you're just tuning in, here are our prior three entries in the Charismatic Breakdown series:

  1. John Wayne: King Archetype charisma
  2. Russell Brand: Savior Archetype charisma
  3. Errol Flynn: Hero Arcehtype charisma

Now let's have a look at just how Sean Connery did it.