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How to Be a Charmer (by Making a Charming Approach)

Daniel Adebayo's picture
charmer being hugged by babeEvery man has the potential to become sizzlingly seductive to women. But not every man is willing to put in the effort.

Resistance is arguably the most frustrating experience in a new game student's journey to improve his sex life with cold approach.

After working up the courage to open - and begin a new interaction - it can appear in different forms, like:

These obstacles can even bring headaches to a skilled seducer.

However, there is a quality so tempting most women find it just about impossible to resist.

You’ve most likely heard of it before. It’s called charm. But what is it exactly?

The Algerian seducer and philosopher Albert Camus said:

“You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer 'yes' without asking a clear question.”

In other words, instead of asking new women blunt questions when trying to pick them up, you just speak and behave in deliberately suggestive ways. When done right, the girls you meet find you extraordinarily persuasive because your suggestions allow them to convince themselves they want you, instead of the other way around.

A charming man masks his cleverness by deflecting attention from himself and focusing it on his girls. He understands their point of view, boosts their self-esteem, and brings pleasure to the subconscious mind.

He appears as an indulging beam of light, making them feel big and powerful. He is the grand mage - who has internalized the law of least effort - to cast spells targeted at the weakest points of the women he meets:

  • Their vanity

  • Their desire for focused attention

We will be breaking this process down today.

First, note that people love to exaggerate their importance, even if it's only in the private world of their own mind. This, incidentally, is what makes even the most desirable women in the world vulnerable, since even these dream-caliber babes don’t tire of having their self-worth validated.

The satisfaction of this primal desire underpins the state of generalized addiction to social media we find ourselves in today. Still, a flickering screen can’t compete with the presence of a charming man, for his social graces have led many a woman into complete dependence.

Another quote to consider in today’s article is a classic:

“With great power, comes great responsibility.”

New Study: Men's Testosterone Down Another 25% Over 15 Years

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

testosterone declineOver the past several decades, men's testosterone has declined by a lot. What's caused this huge drop, and what can you do to save your own t-levels?

A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine discovered men's testosterone levels fell by 25% between the year 2000 and the year 2015.

The study, conducted by researchers from the University of Miami, the University of Manitoba, and others, adjusted for lifestyle factors, age, and BMI, and still found a decline in testosterone across the board. (the Urology Times has a good non-paywalled write-up on the study here)

The gist:

Between the years 2000 and 2015, men's testosterone fell from 605.39 ng/dL to 451.22 ng/dL.

A man in Year 2015 had 74.5% of the testosterone a man in Year 2000 had.

Yet this decline did not begin in 2000.

An earlier study (from 2007) discovered men's testosterone had fallen 17% in the 17 years between 1987 and 2004.

If you take the 17% drop from 1987 to 2004, and then use the 2004 number (567.44 ng/dL) from the first study and drop it to the 2015 number (451.22 ng/dL), you're looking at a 38.4% overall drop in testosterone for American men between 1987 to 2015.

And what's more, the drop is accelerating.

It only fell 17% from its 1987 numbers in the first 17 years. It then fell 21% from its 2004 numbers over the next 11 years.

The rate of testosterone decline went 33% faster after 2004 than it did before 2004.

Soum Lokeshwar, one of the researchers on the recent study, notes, “We’ve seen that lower values of testosterone have been associated with increased comorbidities and an increase risk for all-cause mortality. This decline specifically, in these young adult men, with increased obesity may lead to an increase in precocious cancer.”

Lokeshwar went on to add that as testosterone falls, men's libido falls too, and men increasingly struggle with erectile dysfunction.

There are problems beyond the rising health issues and collapsing sexual function of low testosterone men, however. A decline in testosterone causes problems at a civilization scale.

But first off: how did we get here, and how do we fix it?

5 Ways to Kill Your Inner Nice Guy

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

kill your inner nice guyEvery guy wants to succeed more with the girl(s) he likes. Before you can do that, though, you must first do something else: erase your inner nice guy.

Back when I was hopeless with women, I wanted to claim this smoking hot barista as a trophy wife.

At only 25 years old, she had the confidence of a Somalian princess. She was well-traveled and far more experienced with men than I was with women.

Every day I’d make sure to buy my coffee from her. Over a few months of small talk, we became a bit familiar. She wasn’t a friend but she always smiled when she saw me.

I racked my brain for ways to impress her enough to make her horny for me. Finally, I had the biggest most brilliant idea:

I would show her how amazingly creative and witty I was.

Tactics Tuesdays: Have No Shame

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

have no shameCould you be shameless? When you talk to a woman and she attempts to shame you (for any reason), the best thing to do is stand firm… and unashamed.

The world today is a bizarre, polarized place where a whole lot of people get off on acting shocked at opinions that were standard fare even a decade ago.

People make accusations.

They give you funny looks.

If you're just getting used to women now, those shocked reactions, looks, and accusations might be enough to make you want to crawl back into your shell... or simply never share your thoughts on anything again.

Yet here's the thing: if you are unapologetic about who you are and what you think, and you own it, and can't be bullied into shame, people will respect you.

They'll respect you far more than those timorous souls who duck their heads and prostrate themselves before whoever dares accuse them of things.

This can make all the difference between a woman who's disgusted with you, and one enamored with you.

15 Grooming Tips for Men Who Want to Look Good

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

grooming
Manly does not mean malodorous. Well-groomed does not mean weak. These grooming issues tip the scales between success and failure with women.

Grooming isn’t a town in Wyoming. Grooming is what you, as a man, should be doing to attract the sexiest women possible.

When I teach in-person at live bootcamps, one of the most annoying aspects of my job is when a man shows up with very obvious grooming deficiencies. So today, I’m going to point out the top grooming blind spots for men.

 

Does Grooming Matter?

Most of these mistakes are so clear to me it is almost painful. Why should I have to tell the guy he’s making these basic grooming mistakes? Does he not have self-respect?

I’m not talking about fashion mistakes. That’s a different subject. I’m talking about grooming — keeping your look clean and tidy as though you care about yourself.

Most men are clueless when it comes to fashion, too, and they use “game” as an excuse not to learn about it.

“But with game, I thought it doesn’t matter what you wear,” they say to me.

No, you need to groom yourself properly, and learn about fashion. It's a very important part of fundamentals.

More Glamorous Behaviors to Mesmerize the Girls You Meet

Daniel Adebayo's picture

how to attract women
In my experience with showbiz, I’ve learned many glamorous behaviors that separate stars from everyone else. These 3 are especially useful for pickup and seduction.

When building anything that lasts, you always start with the foundation.

That’s why we emphasize the importance of fundamentals here on Girls Chase. If you’re a new student of the game, learning how to be attractive helps you embody the man you want to become.

Experienced players also know that when it comes to getting girls, your foundation will multiply the power of everything else. So it never hurts to see a few more nuances to sharpen your fundamentals.

In a previous article, I shared several attractive traits you can use to attract and intrigue the women you meet. It was also an inside scoop on that special je nais sai quois we call glamour.

Now, if you’ve been reading Girls Chase for a while, or watched an epic movie seduction, you already know that many behaviors and gestures used by actors, fashion models, and actresses can reap great results in your dates and pickups. That’s why today we are going to scoop out some extra glamorous behaviors that you can learn to hone your fundamentals. I recommend taking a look at the primer, too, if you haven’t already. These two articles together give a clearer picture of what I discovered after careful reflection as I learned the ropes in the show business.

Read on to see more insights that observation, participation, and extracurricular seductions brought into my perspective to answer the question of what makes a man profoundly attractive?

Seductive Body Language and Mannerisms That Attract Women

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

seductive body language
Your body language says loads about you. These seductive mannerisms let women know instinctively that you’re a cool, sexy guy – who’s probably good in bed, too.

To become better with women, you need consistent behaviors. If your behaviors are always insular (meaning you only interact with a few people), her read of you will be different than if you are open and can talk smoothly with everyone.

Consistent behaviors serve as the bedrock upon which a woman sets her level of comfort with you. It helps set up everything else you do with your technique, social proof, or verbalizations.

Some behaviors are obvious, but others are harder to piece together when you are just starting. I want to describe several behaviors you want to embody, so you’ll have an idea of what to work on and why girls’ reactions will change — in your favor.

Beauty Is the Reward of Valor

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

beauty is the reward of valor
Women don't respond to timorous men. But they respond (in almost shocking ways) to strong, driven, valiant ones… with beauty as valor's reward.

Writing of the invasion in 396 A.D. of Alaric and the Goths into Greece (not long before the fall of Rome, and well after Greece had declined as a regional power and slid into decadence and decay), Edward Gibbon notes:

The troops which had been posted to defend the Straits of Thermopylae, retired, as they were directed, without attempting to disturb the secure and rapid passage of Alaric; and the fertile fields of Phocis and Boeotia were instantly covered by a deluge of Barbarians who massacred the males of an age to bear arms, and drove away the beautiful females, with the spoil and cattle of the flaming villages.

...

The vases and statues were distributed among the Barbarians, with more regard to the value of the materials, than to the elegance of the workmanship; the female captives submitted to the laws of war; the enjoyment of beauty was the reward of valor; and the Greeks could not reasonably complain of an abuse which was justified by the example of the heroic times.

The descendants of that extraordinary people, who had considered valor and discipline as the walls of Sparta, no longer remembered the generous reply of their ancestors to an invader more formidable than Alaric. "If thou art a god, thou wilt not hurt those who have never injured thee; if thou art a man, advance:—and thou wilt find men equal to thyself."

The Goths had finished sacking Asia Minor, yet, unable to breach the walls of Constantinople, had wheeled about, crossed back into Europe, and burned a path through Greece.

The Greeks, no longer the manly warriors of their forebears, retreated, leaving the pass of Thermopylae unguarded. 900 years earlier, the Spartan King Leonidas I had for three days resisted a 100,000-man Persian army with a force of 300 Spartans and 700 Thespians at Thermopylae. And even only 140 years earlier, circa 250 A.D., the Greeks halted an earlier Gothic invasion at Thermopylae. This time, however, the soft and timorous Greeks retreated from the pass, and the Goths carved through, slaughtered the young men like pigs, and took the females as their prizes.

You might at first pity the Greeks.

Poor soft, unwarrior-like, decadent Greeks, invaded by the savage Goths, the quivering young men of Greece murdered, the fair young women of Greece carried away as war brides.

Yet, the people and land of Greece were hers to lose. Her soldiers shrunk back in fear of the invading Goths, and the Goths claimed their spoils, of blood, gold, and women.

And as Gibbon says, the enjoyment of beauty is the reward of valor.

Beauty is not something enjoyed by the man too cowardly to earn it.

In your own life, too, if you wish to enjoy beauty, you must behave with valor.

Poor Man's Game or Wealthy Lifestyle Game – Which Is for You?

Varoon Rajah's picture

lifestyle seduction game
Broke lifestyle game is better for getting fast sex, but wealth gives you more options. So, if you have options, which style of game should you run with?

In my last few articles, we covered two very different associations between a guy’s lifestyle and socioeconomic class, and how they affect his success with women.

The first covered poor/broke game, one of the most powerful and quixotic forms of game, used for ages by artists, musicians, bartenders, travelers, nomads, creatives, and adventurers. Poor/broke game is not to be confused with game by deadbeat men — poor/broke game requires fundamentals and attractive behavior.

In a two-part series, we covered wealthy lifestyle game, which is the inverse method. This game style relies on wealth and a clear focus on your mission to draw in women with a vibe of a potential alpha provider. Wealthy lifestyle game is equally powerful to poor/broke game, but it takes a much more effort to maintain, yet nets you access to girls you wouldn’t otherwise get as a broke guy.

If you'd like to check those articles out, here they are:

As you’ve probably figured out in reading those descriptions and articles, going down either path is a long-term choice. Each method requires a distinct lifestyle, vibe, learning curve, and congruence that must fit together. It’s not easy or quick to switch between the two. If this doesn’t make sense, I will explain it shortly.

In this article, we will explore some pros and cons of each game style. I discussed these independently in previous articles, but side-by-side, we will see that one system’s weakness is often the other’s strength. I hope viewing both together will help guide you to which style to pursue!