Wingman Guide, Pt. 5: Calibrating to Your Wing

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today, I want to discuss calibration and additional strategies you can pull off with a wing. This post is an expansion to help perfect your wingmanning skills. We will discuss everything from in-set calibration pointers to state control, and decision-making with your wing.

Up to this point in our guide to wingmanning, we’ve covered a lot of information that may seem exhaustive. Remember, a perfect pickup and seduction does not exist. You will rarely use all the material you know and pull it off perfectly. It’s good to know that often you won’t need it.

The goal is to strive for perfection by giving you as many tools in these posts as possible to get the best results, and you can add or subtract tips and techniques depending on how you and your wing work together. Some methods may suit you; some may not. You may need some strategies to solve potential sticking points, and you should focus on applying these depending on your situation.

So, let’s go through some valuable tips and tricks.

 

Calibration

Tips for ideal calibration:

• You and your wing may have different vibes, which may be somewhat polarizing in-field. With a wing, strive to be less polarizing and play it safer. Remember, any risk is a risk of ruining your wing’s chances and yours. When two guys run two girls, you have 2X the chance of messing up than if you were alone. Your destinies tie to one another!

• If both differ by stereotype and have different clothing styles, it is wise to meet somewhere in the middle. For example, Razorjack (a seduction community OG) is older, prefers to dress in suits, and has a classy style. He made me wear a purple velvet blazer. I usually wear flashier shirts and jackets with floral prints and sequins. I matched his style while retaining my edge. It was the right call. If you both dress similarly, go for it! No need to adjust.

• Go to a venue you both are comfortable with.

• Before you go out, agree on a game plan, and select a venue that allows for it.

• Run a similar wingman strategy as your wing (unless you go for split-push). If he is a lounge guy, to go a lounge. Is he a dance floor guy? Run dance floor game (dance floor wingmanning is a split-push setting, however). If you can’t handle his type of game, or he can’t deal with yours, opt for split-push or change wingmen. You may also use the occasion to teach one another a new style.

• Do not run the same material over and over. Strive for variety.

Guys who are friends and who learn together will often use similar material. Also, those running a matching game style will usually mesh, which is good. Pros who get along usually enjoy similar material. Of course, they both will run it slightly differently.

One pitfall: imagine that you and your wing run the same lines, moves, and gambits. The girls see and hear both of you. It will look, sound, and feel weird to them.

Yes, it’s a problem, but less so if you both run a similar style when delivering material. For example, Pablo Garcia, although more explicit and physical than I am, favors sexual verbal game and sex talk. His gambits might be like mine but with a sexual edge.

Girls often go to the bathroom together to discuss whether they want to commit to you or back off. We’ve noticed when we both ran some sex talk, the girls love it (because the material works)! Later, they go to the bathroom to chat, and when they come back and it’s time to pull, the girls freeze up. Why? Well, when two guys run overly smooth and structured sex talk, something seems fishy and feels unnatural to them.

The problem isn’t the material. Two guys running the exact stuff make it appear “off.”

After reflection, we realized this always happens when both my wing and I run our sex talk stack on each girl. It rarely works. What did work, however, was when we did not do it or only one used it.

So, we decided to discuss and review our game plans beforehand. Either we don’t run sex talk at all, only one runs it, or we both use different themes and styles of sex talk. The idea is that the guy who likes being more explicit (like Pablo Garcia) can run the dirty sexual prizing topics like talking about BDSM, orgasms, or oral sex. I focus more on comfort building, lighter subjects, and more verbose “deep gambits” (like comfort, connection, love versus random hook-ups) to create differences between us.

It's not just a problem with sex talk but with any material, whether it is push and pull lines, stories that are too similar, or the same qualification gambits.

You should show clear differences between you and your wing, or else your communication seems contrived and constructed as both run the same stack type. Some similarities are okay (you are friends, after all!), but being too similar is dangerous.

Some material is NOT prone to this:

• Escalation
• Generic conversation topics (fluff talk)
• Social proof, as knowing many people and meeting many in the venue is viewed as normal behavior

If you face women turning cold out of the blue due to female state control (FSC), you and your wing being too similar is likely the cause. The girls found you fascinating, but something felt off. They don’t allow each other to go with either of you. If this happens, review and change strategies.

 

The Decision Maker

Who makes the strategic calls? Should you venue change or opt for a different game type (screening and physical, social proof game, verbal approaches)? Where should you meet girls in the venue (near the bar, dance floor, transit area between two floors, or the smoking area)?

I do not have a clear-cut opinion on this answer. Decisions should be made together between you and your wing. Both should agree or at least accept the call of the other. In some cases, there may be some disagreements.

So, I think one should have a final call. But who?

• Whoever is most experienced. Sometimes you both are equally experienced. It’s a good starting point if one is not.

• Your wing may be a strategic mastermind. Let him make the calls. If you are the strategic mastermind, you make the calls.

When you and your wing are equally experienced and skilled at making the best decision, look at these factors:

• Who is more familiar with this venue or this type of venue? If one has visited and pulled from that venue for years, he may know the overall vibe and dynamics better and should make the calls. For example, in gay bars, I make the calls, not Pablo Garcia. In places with a ghetto vibe, he takes charge. In high-end venues, we are both equals.

• If you live in the city and your wing is a top seducer from another city, the guy from that city usually takes charge of strategic calls.

• Whoever is most experienced with the game style (strategy) you are running makes the calls. If the venue requires social proof game, whoever has the most experience with social proof makes decisions.

• Who has the most experience with the type of girls who frequent that venue? If there are certain social stereotypes (thus the social frame), the guy with more experience with them should make the final call. Ideally, you should get experience with all types of women, but there could be some types of women one of you has more experience with.

At first, this chain of command might be unclear, but over time, you should quickly figure out your wing’s strengths, weaknesses, experiences, and vice versa.

I don’t have firm rules; it depends on all factors. It’s up to you to decide what works best with you and your wing, depending on the circumstances.

Don’t hold a grudge if your wing makes the call and things go south. Point it out, discuss what went wrong, what you would have done, and that’s it. No matter how experienced you are, it’s impossible to always make the right calls. I sometimes screw up, too. So, give your wing some slack. The same goes the other way around.

However, if your wing insists on making the calls and continues to make bad decisions, it is time to talk and reconsider the chain of command.

 

Venue Selection

Which venue should you go to? It’s simple: wherever you are both comfortable going and are familiar with. If that is not the case (or if you want to try new venues), make sure the venue allows you and your wing to run a style you are both comfortable with, and if doing doubles, the venue allows you two to shine.

It needs to be a venue both enjoy. If the other doesn’t know the venue, the one familiar with it must provide information about the venue to let the other assess whether it suits him.

Whoever suggests a new venue should consider his wing. Answer both questions:

1. Is this a venue where my wing can excel?

2. Is this a venue where we both can excel as wingmen? Does our wingmanning style and strategy work here?

If the answer is no to either, it is not a good venue. If the answer is yes to #2, go there only if you intend to do “split-pushes.”

You also need to consider the male-to-female ratio and vibe of the venue.

 

Synergetic State Control

If he’s good, your wing can save you from experiencing a bad state. Pros should learn to master some state control and have the skillset to compensate for bad state. In this context, state refers to your mood. Bad state is “not feeling it right now.”

With a good wing, you have more options, aside from having your bro with you, which can help put you in a good mood. He can cheer you up.

More importantly, he can carry you. He can approach girls, hook them, and drag you in. After a few good sets, you will likely return to “being in-state” in no time. Sometimes, that is not needed because he got you in a set and hooked it. Although opening and hook game (early game) is somewhat dependent on state, seduction game (framing, escalation, rapport) with a hooked girl is less reliable in that it requires good, strategic calls.

So, you will be more consistent with a good wing. Is your state down? He can carry you. Is his state down? You can carry him. He will be on fire some nights, and you can benefit from that. Sometimes, you will be on fire, and he benefits from that.

You may get state crashes some nights. He carries for a bit until you are back in shape. If his state crashes, you carry.

Beware of not always being the one carrying, and make sure he does not always carry you, or your relationship may end quickly.

In my first post on wingmanning, I mentioned that I don’t like having wings who complain about their state. If you are feeling down, simply ask your wing to “carry for a bit” without going in-depth about how you are feeling. This only drags him down with you.

 

The Assisting Wingman

The assisting wingman is a strategy of its own and usually what society thinks of when they hear the term “wingman”—a guy who assists another guy getting laid.

This could be:

• Dealing with an annoying dude by distracting him (many men know this tactic and use it on me while their guy tries to snatch my girl. I see through it right away and break rapport with him quickly or tell him to introduce me to the guy talking to my girl to screw up his plans).

• Distracting annoying friends.

• Helping with logistics.

I have mixed feelings about this because I rarely envision skilled guys willing to sacrifice their outing to help out their wing. It is more fun and healthier if both focus on getting results and fight as a team, two-on-two. That said, nothing is wrong with providing some assistance occasionally as needed. I tend to favor doing doubles. I don’t like having a wing only to use him in case I need assistance. What is the usual scenario when you need help? When dealing with a two-set? Well, it is better to run doubles. And when you don’t need assistance, what does your wing do? He should talk to girls because knowing some girls he can introduce you to will always help you more than anything else.

If an annoying guy bothers you, your wingman can bring three girls over, and that idiot will get distracted.

If you have a difficult girl, your wingman can bring three girls over to generate social proof and a jealousy plot! This will assist you more than a guy barging into your interaction.

Are you dealing with a two-set? Your wing should tag along.

I don’t see the point of having such a wing, at least having this as an initial plan. There will always be some scenarios when one of you needs help. Say the club is emptying, and one of you has no girls; the other can assist. If your wing hasn’t gotten laid in a while and he has helped you in the past, now you can assist him. Perhaps your wing is dealing with his dream girl. You can sacrifice yourself for him.

The only healthy scenario where you should sacrifice your night for a wing is when you owe him for doing the same or know that he will step up for you in the future.

Here’s a real-life example. I was out with Pablo Garcia and pulled a girl early. I took her home and shagged her, leaving my wing to go solo, which he can handle well.

I finished shagging, and my wing had gone to a strange venue—a gay after-hours venue that is good for pulling girls (plenty of straight people go there after 5 am). The dynamic is odd, and he wasn’t familiar with it. I put on some clothes, took a cab, joined him while my girl was at home, and passed out in bed. I could not pull, obviously, without generating some awkward situations.

I met up with him, and he had approached a gorgeous Icelandic girl. He had a good hook, but sadly, she was playing games with him, and a frame war ensued. She would chat with him for five minutes, but the moment he tried to escalate, she would start talking to an annoying gay or straight guy.

If my wing had been affected by this behavior, he would lose. He had to be unaffected, or at least seem that way.

The game plan became him facing me and talking to me, then turning his back to his girl. The idea was for him to cut any attention from her when she was playing her silly games. In the meantime, I would be his eyes, tell him what was happening, and give him directives.

If I saw the annoying guy hitting on my wing’s girl and doing too well, I’d tell my wing to head to the bar, and I would go in, play the annoying gay guy and be in the way for the cockblock.

I would take the time to befriend his target to get rapport. I would use that rapport to drag my wing back in.

But this girl kept talking to guys, so my wing disengaged, faced me, and I would look to tell him if she was looking at him (to test interest, and she did; he was still “in”). When she was free again, I would tell him to “go in now,” and he did. As other guys walked toward this gorgeous Icelandic girl, I would go in to distract them.

If they went in, I’d pull my wing away and act like I was jealous of him hitting on the hot girl (jealousy plot plus good plausible deniability). Then, we would ignore the girl until she was free again, and I would take him back in.

Of course, some annoying gay guy approached, so I flirted with him, giving my wing plenty of time with the girl.

And other guys came in to hit on this girl, and I pulled my wing away. Finally, I saw that she was alone again, seemingly bored. So, I told my wing, “Go in; seal the deal, closing in 30.” He went in and pulled.

This back-and-forth lasted for two hours. I became his eyes and called the shots while he ignored her. And once he went in, he executed perfectly. He got the girl back home and had fun.

I like this example because it shows what good winging synergy can look like once you become skilled and get plenty of practice with a great wing.

 

Conclusion

Today, we covered overall calibration pointers. I’ve provided specific pointers for ideal wingmanning outings. The general rules of calibration always apply. Remember to calibrate to the girl, the context, and the venue as in any other seduction process. I did not discuss this here because it is not unique to wingmanning. Nevertheless, calibration remains as crucial as ever.

Next week, I will go through more advanced wingmanning techniques and strategies.

Stay tuned,

Alek