Commenting on a recent article, a reader asks:
Why are men the romantic sex Chase?
I wasn’t going to ask this, but sometimes I actually think of a few girls that I used to like, then have to snap myself out of it and tell myself that they aren't even thinking about you and we didn’t even get together.
Pathetic.
Anyway, why are men like that, and better yet, how do you become unromantic?
I’ve noticed that girls that I liked a lot I could never get for some reason.
I would get all these stupid fantasies in my head and it never worked out.
So, I’d really like to not do that ever again and control my mind and emotions at all times.
Thanks
Scientific research has shown that men are more romantic. In particular, men are more likely to subscribe more strongly and more universally to the following beliefs than women are:
- One chooses a partner based on love.
- Love conquers all.
- True love lasts forever.
Men are also more likely to idealize their female partners than their female partners are them. How big is the difference? Well, it’s actually not massive. On average, the study found men to be 6% more romantic than women are.
Before you think we’re making mountains out of molehills though, there’s more research that finds discrepancies between male and female romanticism. A 2013 survey of 100,000 individuals found men were 71% more likely than women were to report having experienced love at first sight. A 2010 study found that men are more prone to falling in love “if they tended to overestimate women’s sexual interest and highly valued physical attractiveness in potential partners.” Translation: horny guys who prioritize women’s looks and assume attraction tend to be more likely to fall in love.
Finally, anyone who’s gone through a rough breakup can tell you how common it is for women to seemingly shut off their emotions toward a man at breakup time. If she truly loved you, how could she do that to you – to the connection you had, you wonder?
This article examines why men tend toward being more romantic, falling in love faster, pining away unrequitedly, and hanging onto women long after they’ve moved on. We’ll ask whether this is a good or a bad thing – and whether (if bad) there’s anything you can do about it.
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