Seduce MORE Girls by Becoming a "Romantic Blank Slate"

Your average, ordinary guy dreams of being able to seduce any woman in the world. He dreams of being able to do this by walking right up, saying the right things, and wooing women right off their feet.

However, this dream of his has one fatal flaw: it is that he imagines doing all of it while totally being himself.

You can’t pick up every woman by being yourself. A lot of women aren’t looking for ‘you’, with your unique personality, predilections, and set of interests and desires. Some women certainly are. Many, however, are not.

So if you go around advertising who you are and what you are in unequivocal terms, many women who are on the hunt for a man will decide you simply don’t match their criteria.

If you’re only on the hunt for supremely compatible girls, of course, then this is great! You won’t mind these rejections, because it’s merely a sign that you and the girl weren’t a fit.

If, on the other hand, you are after casting as broad a net as possible – enjoying as much success with women as possible – then you are not going to want to miss out on perfectly good lovers this way.

Thus, if the goal is indeed to seduce more women, instead of advertising yourself as this clearcut, exactingly defined man with very specific features who will only fit the desired types of a handful of the women he meets, you are going to want to do something else:

You are going to want to be the Romantic Blank Slate.

 

Set Aside Your Selfish Pride

Here’s a funny truth:

Successful playboys have far less pride than sexually unsuccessful men.

When a man is not yet sexually successful, he is not very experienced with women yet. As a result of this inexperience, he holds many unrealistic and quite one-dimensional assumptions about women.

For instance, he may assume that women are more or less all the same and more or less all like the same things. They want the same things from their trysts with men, and want the same types of men. If women were left to build their perfect partners, the average man seems to think, they’d all build more or less the same guy.

Therefore, for him, approaching women is a high stakes game where every rejection feels like a woman has passed some sort of UNIVERSAL judgment on him: “As a representative for all womankind, I find you unacceptable,” she seems to say.

Thus when a girl rejects him it really, really stings. He may doubt himself. Or he might turn angry or bitter toward the girl.

Of course, like we always say, girls don’t reject you; they reject your game (and your fundamentals). But why do some girls reject you, while other girls don’t?

Well, aside from the fact that many girls simply are not available at any given time, there’s also the fact that women aren’t all looking for the same type of guy! They’re all looking for different types!

When you realize this, it makes a lot less sense to take rejection so personal… or to be so proud when you hit it off with a random girl.

Experienced players know this, and it is part of why they think about women so differently.

 

Each Woman Is Looking for Different Men

The truth is women have extremely eclectic tastes – as eclectic as men’s tastes in women. If you’ve never gotten specific with your buddies about what faces and body shapes and personalities they find sexiest in women, you’ll be shocked when at last you do.

What this means is that a man who is perfect for one woman is not at all interesting to another. What it also means is that when a man approaches a woman and begins to immediately divulge as much about himself as possible, he is going to ‘out’ himself as the ideal partner for a handful of women, and not at all the ideal man for a much wider swath of them.

Think about it like this: let’s say there are:

• Four different kind of lifestyles: the “going out to party” lifestyle, the “getting up early to do outdoorsy stuff” lifestyle, the “staying home to read books, watch movies, and play video games” lifestyle, and the “workaholic always at the office” lifestyle.

• Four different kinds of personalities: strong/experienced, strong/inexperienced, soft/experienced, and soft/inexperienced.

• Four different kinds of attitudes towards romance and sex: the very serious attitude, the very casual attitude, the very cynical attitude, and the very lackadaisical attitude.

• Four different body types: slim, athletic, average, and thick.

• Four different major face types: puppy-like faces, cat-like faces, bear-like faces, and shark-like faces. (you know what I’m talking about, right? Pay attention next time you go out… I guarantee you will see some girl with shark-like features and say to yourself, “Holy heck, Chase Amante is right – that girl really does look like a shark!” Wilder still is how accurately you can predict people’s behavior from what their faces look like… if you like loyalty, get a puppy-like girl; if you like the roller-coaster ride, shark girl may be more your speed; but prepare to get bit!)

I don’t actually know if there are just four of each of these. I’m just using these for an example.

Now let’s say you are a “get up early to do outdoorsy stuff”, soft/experienced, lackadaisical romantic, athletic figured, bear-like faced guy, and you like similar types of girls.

You start talking to a girl and right away she admits that she likes to go out to party (and dislikes too much outdoor stuff), has a strong/inexperienced personality type, and is very cynical about romance. You notice as you talk to her that her body is actually kind of thick, and she has a shark-like face. This girl really is not your type at all.

You are going to feel like there is a large disconnect between the two of you. You might push yourself to try to make something happen with her just to gather some experience / gain some reference points, but you’ll be half-hearted about it. You don’t really want this girl.

Guess what? The same thing happens when you approach a girl, make a bunch of things known about yourself before you know much about her, and put yourself into a box with her.

 

Tabula Rasa

When the average man talks to a woman, he tries to get as much information about himself out there as possible, as quickly as he can. He seeks to tell her about:

• His job
• His hobbies
• His passions
• Cool stories about him
• Status markers he has
• Other things she may find attractive

By telling her all these, he effectively says, “Pick me!”

As a seducer, you’re not trying to get a girl to pick you. Instead, you’re coming in as something of a blank slate. You are the guy who’s a bit of a question mark – one whom she can project her fantasies onto.

Instead of “spill the beans” on who you are and what’s great about you, you start by learning about her, who she is, what she values. You ask her some basic questions, cold read her and find out if you’re right (then adjust if not), deep dive her a bit, elicit her values, and slowly, as this girl reveals who she is to you, you relate yourself to her and share those bits of you that connect with what she’s looking for.

Instead of her choosing you, you are choosing her, and (as you get to know her) revealing more and more of what’s similar about you to her.

This way, the party girl who is cynical about romance and the bookworm girl who is serious about romance can both find what they want in you. As can the outdoors girl who is casual about romance and the workaholic girl who’s lackadaisical about it. They can find what they desire, because you relate the sides of yourself that match up with that, and don’t try to force those aspects of yourself that don’t.

 

Here's the Funny Thing

When an ordinary guy hears this, what he says to himself is, “Well then I’d be lying about who I am!” But you’re not lying. You’re not PRETENDING to be anything you’re not. You only relate how you can relate.

Let’s say you’re a bookworm type and she’s an outdoors type. She tells you about waterskiing. Maybe she does it several times a year and loves it. Well, once, you rode a jet ski. So you tell her about your time riding a jet ski and what you liked about the experience. She gets excited, because hey! You’ve done watersports too! You can relate to her! So many people don’t understand her love of being out on the water!

There’s no social law that says, “If a woman tells you about her love of watersports, but you prefer books, you need to tell her, ‘Well I actually prefer books to watersports.’” In fact, anyone telling you to think that way is about as anti-social as it gets.

Another objection I hear from guys is, “But then I won’t be being myself!”

So let me ask you this: is telling a woman about things you have actually done and sharing your actual experiences with her a form of “not being yourself”? Because I’m pretty sure that was YOU who did and experienced whatever those things you’re talking about were!

Yet another objection is, “But if we end up in a relationship, we won’t be compatible!”

To that I say: we’re talking about seducing girls here.

The screening you do to see if she matches you for an ongoing relationship runs parallel with any seduction you’re doing. You run a seduction to end up in bed with the girl; you screen her for relationship compatibility to help decide if you want to continue to see her after.

 

Let Go of Pride and Seduce More Girls

I think the hardest part of this idea of being the “anonymous seducer” – this kind of tabula rasa, blank slate guy – is this whole thing where guys are looking for approval of who they are.

If what you really want is approval (rather than pussy), then yes, being the blank slate guy is going to come up short. Because rather than regaling her with the stuff you’re most proud of (such as your Level 99 World of Warcraft paladin or your after-work adventures in beekeeping) you are just sharing those sides of you that she is interested in.

But, honestly, if plaudits are what you’re after, romantic chats with women are not the place you should be pursuing those. Communities dedicated to whatever your interests or passions might be are. Talking about your beekeeping victories at your quarterly Friends of Bees gathering, not while trying to seduce women.

If you can get past this need for approval and set pride aside, you can instead become the blank slate guy onto whom women write their fantasies… and start seducing more girls.

Here’s a fun tip: being this “blank slate guy” works for EVERYTHING where different personalities are involved! It works for sales; it works for job interviews; it works for meeting a girl’s family; it works for everything. You go in, with your good fundamentals and good basic social skills, then just spend a while eliciting values and finding out who this other person is and what’s important to him or her first before you go spouting off about your good points. Once you know the other party’s values, you can begin relating, building similarity, and before you know it you and this other person are bosom buddies.

Most people will never do this, even if success in their social agendas awaits when they do.

If you are one of the rare men able to set aside his ego – his need to show off and be validated with the approval of others – and instead to invite others to do the sharing, then stand as validator yourself, YOU become the chooser, the selector, and the prize… you become the man women and men chase… and you will seduce many more girls and enjoy many more rewarding adventures in life.

Chase