Modern Man Problem: Clamoring for Respect & Submission (Rather Than COMMANDING It)

As the enfeebling of Modern Man continues apace, I’m seeing an explosion of angry men all over the place grousing about the same complaints again and again:

• “People need to respect men more!”

• “Women need to learn how to be submissive!”

It’s painful as a man when no one respects you.

It is painful as a man when women refuse you submission.

It is painful, and makes you feel as if you are less than a man.

It’s because you ARE, until you get that fixed: if you are not a man able to command respect from other people and submission from women, you are a lesser man.

But you won’t attain respect + submission by whining, stomping, pouting, or complaining.

If you wish men to respect you and women to submit to you, you must do something else.

 

How You Look Whining & ‘Clamoring for’ Respect

There’s an epidemic right now of low testosterone men. These guys, like women, think any kind of criticism upon them is an attack.

If while reading this you feel like I am attacking you, I am not attacking you.

This is tough love, baby.

My aim is to shake you out  of the hole you’ve either dug for yourself or stumbled into after society dug it for you. I want you to climb up out of there and stand proud and tall.

Here’s the tough love:

If you’re going around complaining about how no one respects you and women aren’t submissive enough, you look like a weak little punching bag. Doesn’t matter if you have big muscles or a hefty bank account. If men don’t respect you and women won’t submit to you you are doing something seriously, egregiously wrong.

Let me be clear: there are plenty of dudes, even today, in our modern female-glorifying, male-demeaning 2020s, whom everybody in their lives respects and who make submit whatever woman they are seeing.

READ MORE: She Wants to Submit

I have sympathy for a man complaining about lack of respect and submission, but I also know what kind of man he is as soon as he starts talking about this stuff. I know he’s a doormat. Maybe he looks tough on the outside or tries to act hard but I know he does not know how to assert himself in a socially graceful, attractive way. He either shies away from confrontation, whines and complains in the face of it, or else he rages in socially awkward, impotent ways over it.

Men respect other men who are winners. Women submit to men who are winners. If a man behaves in ways that say “I am a loser” people will take him at his word and treat him like a loser.

What do you call a man whom everyone treats with respect and women submit to? You call that man a winner.

What do you call a man whom no one respects and women refuse submission to? You call that man a loser.

Men going around complaining about how people don’t respect them and women don’t respect are declaring to the world “I AM A LOSER AND IT’S ALL THE WORLD’S FAULT!”

Again, I have sympathy – Western society is a much tougher, unguided, anarchic, chaotic society than it was 70 years ago. I’m sorry for that, I wish for your sake it wasn’t, but there’s nothing you nor I can do about it.

So either you can slump deeper into that loser hole, complaining about how all the world refuses to give you your just desserts, or you can become a man who gets the things he wants.

 

Do Not Clamor for Respect; COMMAND It

Have you ever seen me tell anyone to “respect me!”?

I have never uttered that phrase in my life. In fact, I have often said to disrespectful people, “I do not care if you respect me. Your respect means absolutely nothing to me.” I will actively encourage people to not respect me, and to go off and do whatever the hell they want with their lives.

Here is my philosophy: unless you are someone whose respect I am actively courting, if you don’t respect me, stay away from me; better yet, get the hell outta my life.

Know what that approach to other people does, in my experience? It makes people respect you. When you tell someone “If you’re going to be disrespectful, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT” it tells that person you value respectful treatment over having that person in your life. It tells that person, “You must respect me or you are gone.”

Pushovers and weaklings value other people’s presence in their lives over respect. They will tolerate disrespect to not lose access to the value of others. Someone who will tolerate disrespect, or just whine about it while not doing anything about it (i.e., still tolerating it) tells you you don’t need to respect him. You don’t need to, because you can disrespect him yet still have continued access to him. Why respect him if you don’t need to? Save some work!

READ MORE: How to Be Respected by Men and Women Alike

Same deal with women. It is the exact same function. If a woman does not need to submit to you, she is not GOING to submit to you. Why would she submit to a man she does not need to?

Your ability to make a woman submit is a direct extension of your ability to:

1. Have value, and

2. Set your own required (high) standard of behavior for access to that value and enforce it.

I date women that many men call ‘bitches’ (but that really cool, high value men call ‘amazing!’). Smart, gorgeous, vivacious, educated girls with their own money who have worn the pants in their prior relationships with men. For me, these women submit. They go down fighting, of course; it is always a battle to make a girl like this submit. But in the end, she submits, and does so fully.

I see guys all over the Internet talking about how “you need to find a submissive woman.”

The real translation of this is “you need to find a woman willing to submit to you.”

READ MORE: 3 Rules to Get Women to Respect You in a Relationship

Here is the truth: every woman is a submissive woman if you are a strong enough, high enough value dude. Just like every man will respect you if you are a strong enough, high enough value dude.

If you’re not able to obtain the kind of respect and submission you want from other people right now, no amount of whining, begging, pleading, ranting, or cursing the world will bring it to you.

You cannot clamor for respect or submission.

You must COMMAND IT!

 

The ‘Command Respect’ Formula

Above, I listed out the two (2) requirements for making a woman submit to you. They are the same requirements for making men respect you, by the way. Here’s the formula:

In a way you can think of respect between men as a form of light submission. The ultimate man-man respect we think of, men kneeling before a king, is very obvious submission. But two men treating each other with respect are deliberately not saying things in the most direct (bluntest/rudest) way, are taking care not to be too presumptuous with one another – they are submitting to some degree to the other man’s power as well (in an act of mutual partial submission).

If you have no respect for me, you will not speak with any kind of consideration toward me at all. You will not mince words. You won’t care if you offend me.

Now, if I am a weak man and actually not deserving of respect, I will just take it, or maybe complain about it while doing nothing else to stop it. If I am a slightly stronger man, I will fight you on it, being rude back or even physically attacking you to defend my honor. If I am a stronger man still, I will either one-up you in a socially savvy way that makes clear to you and anyone watching that I have more value than you do, or else I will force you out of my life and/or cut off access to my value to you.

So it is with women and submission. A weak man will take a woman’s disrespect and still hang around, perhaps with gripes, but otherwise doing nothing to enforce any kind of standard of behavior in exchange for access to his value as a man. A strong man removes some or all of a woman’s access to his value in response to bad behavior by her, and she quickly learns it’s best to submit to him if she wants to maintain access to what she values from him.

READ MORE: I Don’t Chase 'Em, I Replace 'Em

People need to know they will have LESS access or NO access to your value if they do not respect/submit to you. Then you do not need to ASK for respect or submission. You will COMMAND it.

 

What Value Do You Have to Offer?

Are you a really cool guy who is a lot of fun to be around?

Are you a brilliant guy who knows a lot of stuff, or has an area of valuable expertise?

Are you the ‘connections guy’ who knows where all the parties are and is friends with lots of folks?

Are you compelling, interesting, and many-layered, such that women can never quite fully figure you out (and find you fascinating)?

Are you skilled in the sack, able to deliver up earth-shattering orgasm after earth-shattering orgasm?

What value do you have to offer that other people want in their lives? The more value you have and the higher value it is, the easier it is to command respect from men and submission from women.

If you don’t have a lot of value right now, develop it – IF you want men’s respect and women’s submission.

 

If You’re Disrespectful, the Value Requirements Go Up

There are a lot of rude people in the world.

You can still command respect and submission as a rude, disrespectful man yourself. However, the value requirements for you ARE HIGHER.

If you’re going to be rude to people, you’d better have a LOT of value on offer that those people really want to have any hope of them sticking around and treating you with respect.

Average value guys who are rude to people get a lot of people being rude back to them, throwing their disrespect back in their faces. Average value guys who are nasty to their girlfriends end up with defiant girlfriends who talk ill about them, flirt with other guys, and sometimes cheat. If you’re high value and rude, people are more likely to pay lip service to respecting you – but there’s still an excellent chance they trash talk you behind your back (and that women run around on you, too).

Having social grace and treating other people with respect is one form of value that most other people will value from you. It’s not generally enough on its own, but it lowers the value threshold you must exhibit for others to respect/defer to you.

Note that social grace and genuine respectfulness is a different category of behavior from ‘nice guy stuff’. Obsequious nice guys suppress themselves to come across overly and artificially nice. Socially graceful men still enforce high standards on others to access their value; meanwhile, nice guys freely give whatever value they have, typically with no standards at all, so paying respect and submission to ‘nice guy men’ isn’t necessary.

 

What If You Don’t Have Much Value to Offer People Yet?

Then that is your primary mission, if commanding men’s respect and women’s submission has any importance to you. You must develop your value as a man.

Sometimes you’ll enter new social circles or otherwise be around valuable people whose respect you hope to earn. If they’re established in the circle and you are a nobody, you have to be able to bide your time, comport yourself in a high value, respect-commanding way, and trust that over time you will command more and more respect of those you’re interacting with.

That means you offer value, but retract it from people who disrespect you. Same deal if you get into a relationship with an uppity woman – offer value, but if she’s not submitting, withdraw more and more value (in a cool, casual, non-meanspirited way) until she gets with the program and submits.

There is no shortcut to respect and submission – you need to build the value, you need to enforce high standards, and depending on the circumstances you need to allow time for people to ‘catch up’.

 

What If You’re Trapped?

There are men who are in situations where they’re at the bottom of the totem pole with nowhere to go. The guy working a low-end job where nobody treats him with respect, and he sees those same disrespectful people every day, for instance. Then he goes home to his neighborhood where everyone knows him, and also treats him like dirt.

Guys in this situation cannot totally shut people out of their lives if those people don’t respect them. The only hope for them is to apply the formula without the option of leaving:

VALUE + ENFORCED HIGH STANDARD OF BEHAVIOR FOR ACCESS = RESPECT/SUBMISSION

They must have high enough value and enforce a high standard of behavior for access to that value. As an example, if you are a valuable man, and some people are being disrespectful, you take your interaction down with those people to a bare minimum, while still being cool and open with those who respect you. The rude ones will tend to come around with time and behave in a conciliatory way; you can gradually warm up to them so long as they maintain respect, letting them ease back into your good graces.

Again, you must have the value to pull this off. If you aren’t valuable to people, you need to become that, or there is simply no reason for people to care about you cutting off their access to your non-existent value.

First be valuable, then enforce a high standard for access to that value, and you will command submission and respect.

 

Wrap Up

Don’t stomp and pout over men not respecting you and women not submitting to you.

If they aren’t, no amount of whining about it is going to inspire respect and submission. Just the opposite, in fact – a man whining about how no one respects him and women are too uppity with him declares to the world that he isn’t a man worth respecting or submitting to.

Instead, you must learn to command the respect, deference, and submission of those around you. You do this using the formula:

If you have value, but you aren’t enforcing high standards to access it (e.g., nice guys/pushovers/doormats/relationship beta males freely giving of themselves while letting people treat them however they want), men will not be respectful and women will not submit.

If you lack value, you don’t have anything to enforce high standards to access – so work on improving your value first. (that said, most people have SOME sort of value to offer. Figure out what yours is… then improve it further!)

Get those two pieces in place and you won’t have to ask, beg, or plead men to respect you and women to submit to you anymore.

You will COMMAND their respect and submission, naturally!

Chase Amante

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