Tactics Tuesdays

You know how vital it is to pick a venue with the kinds of girls you want. But how do different venues influence a girl’s openness to various things?

Venue selection is crucial to making your days and nights out go better.

Pick the right venue, and you can leave with a girl’s phone number (or with her arm-in-arm)... Even if your fundamentals aren’t yet too tight and your game needs work.

Pick the wrong venue, and no matter how smooth and attractive a fellow you are, it’s like riding a bicycle through a salt marsh.

So how do you know what the right venue is?

Alek’s discussed this topic already in his article on venue selection:

• Picking Up Girls: Selecting the Right Venu e
  

... and I’ve discussed it somewhat in my ebook on it and my article on bars and clubs:

• Finding Your Niche
• How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs
  

Today, I want to talk about a somewhat different aspect of venue selection: I want to discuss how to pick the right venue for your style of game and your preferred type of interaction.

A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula.

This is a firefighting post.

I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes.

On my article about screening girls for same-day lays, a reader asks:

“About that girl giving massive iois and i didnt approach due to exams coming up.. Its difficult to go into social mode when you have your head in books all day since over a month. And to top it all off, she has gone cold.. typical auto rejection, which is my main sticking point for sometime now. She gave me massive blatant in my face AIs but i failed to take action. Price paid. Very frustrating. I have read all your articles on auto rejection.

[...]

Please come up with some technique to turn around auto rejection as its seems impossible once girls go in that territory. You advised value boosts and preselection to turn around auto rejections but would not those make us seem more unattainable and worsening auto rejection as she sees me with other girls and thinks she wasnt good enough? Thoughts?

I was reading your old forum posts and you said not to accept responisbility for her reactions as it make you seem weak. What in this situation when her ego is hurt? Will accepting responsibility that i wanted to come talk to her earlier but could not due to exams better the situation or worsen it? Or should i blame it all on her that its difficult to approach you as you have a lot of security around? ;) (Her parents or brothers are chaperoning her mostly). How about opening with i know i should have come earlier but.. ‘launching into reasons’? This seems like obsessing but i just want to get your take on it.

Is it better to go in as soon as you sense a girl is auto rejecting or give a time gap and re-engage later? And is it possible to turn around their opinions of yourself after ghosting for a while or once its set they see you that way whole life no matter what.. even years later?

Why doesn’t chasing work when the girl is AR? Shouldn’t her hurt ego feel relieved as being chased is an ego boost?”

Auto-rejection. If you’ve just tuned in, that’s when a girl feels like she can’t get you... So rejects you before you reject her. It’s a response that lets her shield her ego from a guy she thinks doesn’t like or respect her.

It’s also one of the hardest issues to fix. Particularly if you’ve just met.

Yet, there’s opportunity there too. Because if you can fix the mistake, her passion for you goes through the roof.

Every man has flaws. However, with a little spin, you can turn ordinary flaws into attractive, Byronic flaws.

A commenter on my article “Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others” asks:

“How attractive is it when you say that “I’m terrible at getting into deep connections with people, there are always people I like, but I never get attached that much so that it was too hard to let people go or go away myself. Free choice always stays my priority.”.

Because it’s the trait I really have.”

If you tell her you’re someone who doesn’t connect well with others, usually that’s no good. It sounds like you have a flaw. Or you’re too hard to get. You’re likely to send her into auto-rejection or just turn her off.

Yet there’s a way to frame this. One that works well. All you do is say this:

“You know, I love people. But most girls can’t get past my armor. I don’t know what it is... And I don’t know why I can’t let them in. I so wish I could meet a girl I connect with. It just seems like the average girl is not connection material.”

Just like that, a flaw becomes an asset.

It becomes a Byronic trait. The kind of thing girls go nuts for in men.

And all it takes to do it? Just a little frame control.

This should be a fun one.

Slightly advanced. Not too advanced. This should be fine for intermediates on up.

So, this revolves around not boyfriend zoning yourself when screening girls for something quick.

As you may know if you read this site regularly, it’s good and important to screen girls:

• Book Excerpts: What to Screen Women For
• Why You Always Date the Wrong Person
  

... and after you screen, it’s important to qualify:

• Is Qualifying Women Really That Important?
  

Screening and qualifying is important for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is making sure you end up with girls you’ll be happy to be with.

Another reason it’s important though is for making a girl feel like there’s a reason you like her. If she feels like you are trying to sleep with her and she doesn’t understand why, you’re going to end up with attainability problems on your hands (because she’s going to follow Occam’s Razor and assume if you’re interested in her without communicating a good reason for being interested in her, it’s simply because she’s a random piece of ass).

So, you’ve got to screen.

Yet how you screen – particularly when you’re trying to put together something fast – is important.

You’re with a group of three girls you’ve just met at a nightclub, and you’ve really hit it off with one of the girls, this girl Ava. She’s cute, perky, and a whole lot of fun.

Suddenly, you’re yanked out of an engrossed conversation with Ava by a fracas nearby; one of the other girls in the group, Miria, is shouting at one of the nightclub’s bouncers.

First the other friend jumps in.

Then your girl, Ava, jumps in too.

You hang on the sidelines, unsure what to do.

You could feel it’d been going pretty well with Ava, and you thought you stood a pretty solid chance to pull her home tonight.

The argument between the girls and the bouncer end, with the bouncer telling Ava and the other friend that they need to keep Miria on a leash or he’s going to boot them out.

Ava and the two girls debate among each other, emotionally fraught. Finally, Ava turns back to you and says, “Sorry, I think we’re just going to leave.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” you say calmly. You aren’t sure exactly how to react, but you decide to play it cool and do your best to look unfazed. “Let’s trade cells so we can connect later on.”

“I’m really not in trading-numbers mood right now,” she says, “Sorry. I just want to go home.”

Then, she turns away, and her and her two friends take off.

Them’s the shakes, right?

Could it have gone any differently?

It could have – had you paced her reality, instead of freezing in the headlights.

Sometimes you’re out and about and you meet a girl and take a number from her.

And for whatever reason, she isn’t all that attracted to you.

Yet for whatever reason, she still gives you her phone number.

And then for whatever reason, she agrees to meet up with you.

But you can sense this one is going through the motions.

It might not quite be the friend zone yet, but it’s pretty darn close. And she doesn’t even know you.

So what do you do... just meet up with her anyway and hope you can change her mind?

Well, you CAN do that... but if you don’t have a game plan for it, it’s like opting for a few games of Black Jack when you don’t really understand how to play Black Jack.

There’s some chance you walk away with winnings, but most of the time you’re only going to waste your time, probably going to waste your money, and if your ego’s wrapped up in it you may well take a self-esteem hit too.

So let’s set out some strategy for those “friend zone” dates, and talk:

• Prevention,
• Treatment, and
• Cure
  

I recently counseled one of our senior members from the discussion board on how to rapidly find out a woman’s logistics in the first few minutes of conversation.

In this member’s case, he meets women as he goes about his day in the city, making street stops or chatting up girls in coffee shops whenever one catches his eye.

His problem is he lives outside the city, and often faces resistance from women having them agree to come out where he lives. In fact, he’s usually only able to do this with women who are already sold on him – which means he ends up leaving lays on the table... lays with women he could get, if he had better (in-city) logistics.

My recommendation was for him to begin to screen women for logistics immediately on approach them; that way he can explore which women to set dates up with (or even go for the pull then and there) in ways that let him take her back to her place... instead of trying to have her commute to his.

To help him do this, I shared with him how I screen for logistics early on – and in this article, I’ll share that with you too.