Tactics Tuesdays: Spin Your Flaws Into Byronic Flaws | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Spin Your Flaws Into Byronic Flaws

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Every man has flaws. However, with a little spin, you can turn ordinary flaws into attractive, Byronic flaws.

A commenter on my article “Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others” asks:

How attractive is it when you say that “I’m terrible at getting into deep connections with people, there are always people I like, but I never get attached that much so that it was too hard to let people go or go away myself. Free choice always stays my priority.”.

Because it’s the trait I really have.

If you tell her you’re someone who doesn’t connect well with others, usually that’s no good. It sounds like you have a flaw. Or you’re too hard to get. You’re likely to send her into auto-rejection or just turn her off.

Yet there’s a way to frame this. One that works well. All you do is say this:

“You know, I love people. But most girls can’t get past my armor. I don’t know what it is... And I don’t know why I can’t let them in. I so wish I could meet a girl I connect with. It just seems like the average girl is not connection material.”

Just like that, a flaw becomes an asset.

It becomes a Byronic trait. The kind of thing girls go nuts for in men.

And all it takes to do it? Just a little frame control.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Byron's picture

<3

javed.u's picture

Is there a way to frame being called short in particular? Just doesn't feel like the byronic formula can be applied here, or on other physical flaws.

Andy's picture

How can we frame height and other physical flaws in a Byronic way or just how can we reframe ṭhes flaws in General. Like when girls say you are too short for me?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Javed & Andy,

Well, Byronic flaws are personality-based. I suppose you could use short stature or other physical drawbacks as playing a role in your Byronic flaws (“I’ve always been the short, ugly, too-blunt guy… I don’t fit in anywhere. And I like that. Being an outsider gives you a perspective on the world all those folks trapped on the inside never get to see”). But you could just as easily portray Byronic flaws without reference to physical attributes.

Both Jerome and William have articles on “short guy game”, and how to deal with challenges from girls on height. You can check those out here:

Chase

Mischief's picture

…is that I never realized I was (or could be) Byronic until delving into the world of seduction. Having come face to face with the enormous chasm between male/female nature (a revelation I am both thankful for and attribute largely to one woman I slept with, unwittingly formed a relationship with, and have since moved on from) pushed me over the edge. I felt as though I had been exposed to an overwhelming darkness. Today, I consider that darkness to be either the chasm between male and female nature or possibly something abhorrent within myself — either way, it is a legitimate source of energy (albeit dark) to tap into for boosting attraction and even accomplishing other feats in my life. However, one must be careful when tapping into this void — it literally can consume you like being sucked into a black hole of despair. Mitigate the flow of this energy with great caution.

Chase, you may recall some months ago that I brought up the concept of "safe place" (in a comment to one of your articles). You had reassured that you wanted GC to be a safe place (which I truly appreciate), but I was really trying to point out the safe place that should be cultivated within one's own mind — like the reactor shield of a nuclear power plant — to safe guard against the brimming of one's own emotions. Seduction is an art that, while having the potential for great fun and powerful entertainment (usually at low or zero financial cost to a sexually savvy man), can lend itself to the dark side of life. The emotions of sexual pleasure are powerfully tempestuous and chaotic (probably why both men and women crave good sex repeatedly) — energy that has the potential to get the better of us if not wielded wisely and with control.

The irony is that the more in touch I become with my own sexual potential with women (and their's with me), the more Byronic I become as well — a perfect self-fulling prophecy. Sex has become a discipline for me — the more women I take to bed (and/or sleep with repeatedly), the more masterfully I learn to wield this power, which I believe leads to a more fulfilling life for both myself and those lucky few women.

-M

Well… one does what one can.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Mischief-

That’s an excellent point.

The more experienced a man becomes, the more Byronic he naturally is.

Pretty hard to be the guy who’s hurt girls before when you don’t have much experience with them. And the guy who’s slept with few women isn’t a sex addict, or an adventurer, or a man no woman should involve herself with… at least not yet. Though he may end up that way.

So in that way, Byronic flaws may actually serve the same function as great fundamentals or powerful frame control: implied preselection. If you’re Byronic, she assumes you must have success with women.

It’d seem much of attraction comes down to preselection, shown or implied.

Chase

Mischief's picture

So in that way, Byronic flaws may actually serve the same function as great fundamentals or powerful frame control: implied preselection. If you’re Byronic, she assumes you must have success with women.

It's a bit like the chicken/egg conundrum, isn't it? One intentionally chooses the choppy life of a seducer, gets women and himself emotionally hurt in the process, and then that pain becomes fuel to magnetize even more women into his world, causing even more… well, maybe not necessarily. The deeper I truly understand women, the less emphasis I put on "happily-ever-after," and the less I expect that, the more genuine pleasure we seem to share for the here and now.

-Mischief

Well… one does what one can.

SZ's picture

Just read your article on moral panic.

What is the moral panic we are going through right now? how long until it is?

I make friends very easily, but most of them are fake and they are cool with me, UT the are phoney, I don't know why, I don't have a group of close friends that I can count on, most of the friends I make aren't real friends, more associates.

and I try to make them real friends, but they just are too fake.

So how can I make friends and make them want to fight for me and have my back instead of being like the others?

When exiting, wouldn't that make you look guilty? wouldn't that make it look like you're running away? How would you even know when to come back?
How do you know you have ever enough time to leave the country?
When do you feel for the country?

Won't they try to find you?

What country do you recommend for a black guy to go to.

That article puts me on edge.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

This really should be posted on the moral panic article. Please try to keep comments to their respective articles.

I can only speak for the United States, but I can tell you the moral panics that seem to be at their acme or on the wan are:

  • Fear of rape
  • Fear of sexism
  • Fear of racism

The ones that seem to be picking up steam are:

  • Fear of censorship / thoughtcrime
  • Fear of white genocide
  • Fear of globalism

Seems like most moral panics last somewhere between 10 and 30 years. The ones that are on their ways out right now have been in panic mode for the most part since the 1990s. They didn't get bad until about 4 or 5 years ago. The moral panics on the upswing are basically all reactions to the panics on their ways out. Occasionally a moral panic will transform into a genuine culture shift, like what happened with the Spanish Inquisition, where the Spanish kicked out all the Muslims and Jews over a period of hundreds of years.

From what I can tell, long-term xenophobic moral panic-like culture shifts seem to be down to economic conditions. Countries with great economies are open and inclusive, and the moral panics seem to center around not excluding anyone. As a nation's economic prospects deteriorate, people begin to form tribes and the in-fighting starts.

Making close friends is partly about providing value to those friends, partly about selecting the right friends. There are some folks you can provide infinite value to, and they'll still be fair weather friends. Those are the takers, the mooches, and the crazies:

Once you've handled the screening, focus on providing genuine value to friends:

I wouldn't worry about whether you look 'guilty' when exiting. Throughout the rape/sexism moral panic, men who left America were called 'misogynists' or men who 'couldn't get laid' or got told they were 'taking advantage of girls living in poverty' or in turn getting 'taken advantage of by girls who only want a green card.' But none of that stuff has power on you overseas. If some group of irrelevant pundits in your home country despise you for getting out when the getting's good, who cares? When you come back after the panic ends, all anyone says is, "Damn, I should've done that too."

As for timing, monitor the stories coming out of the place. The news won't be honest, but it will tell you whom the zeitgesit is against (though there's a lag; as the culture shifts, the news lags behind by a few years). Whomever the news prints bad stories about, those are the folks who'd benefit most from a break from the place.

As for what country to go to, you'll have to do your own research. But here's a start point:

Chase

SZ's picture

Chase, what is the top 5 % of daters? what's the lay count and age? does age matter ? like having a certain amount at a certain age or do you mean lifetime?

If you're playing catch up, when do you get consistent and get more lays, and how do you surpass the other men you're playing catch up with?

I'm stuck at the point where I am not getting dates and not getting laid as much as I should, what should I improve on?

I want to be in the top 5%, shit the top 1%, I just want to know how to make this go faster

appreciate it

SZ's picture

You have me very intrigued now about how being black might protect me.

1. What does a women fear about what a black guy can do to her if she lied on him?

2. How do you make her scared and not think twice to do something like that? or do black men have it automatically? ( how do I develop that persona? )

would it make her too scared to sleep with me?

3. why are they doing it to nice weak guys? I never thought it was like that. I thought it was assholes who played her, why would they be that cruel?

4. on your articles, do they tell you how to tell if a girl is crazy from the get go? or is it once you've already have known her?

I'm talking about are there signs even before you do a same day lay?

How would you know if a chick was crazy if you've only talked for a short time?

5. About programming: Can I start will no skill and become good enough to freelance? Does it matter if I suck in math? How long would it take to get good?

I also heard that we can't freelance forever because the Indians will work for cheaper and people will use them. is it true?

thanks Chase!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

That’s just my gut; I’ve no idea if it’s accurate or not.

Most of the guys girls throw false rape accusations at are nice guys or guys who are awkward with them. They attack these men the most, I suspect, because:

  • These guys do not create the right emotions in them
  • They know the accusation will make the guy fearful and quiet
  • There is little risk of the guy attacking her reputation or person

The more dangerous guys aren’t worth it. They excite girls, and even if girls cry over them later, they still adore and respect them. Dangerous guys often aren’t part of “The System”, and girls are less likely to see how a false rape accusation will hurt them (“I can’t get him fired or kicked out of school – what’s the point?”). And there’s a risk the guy may come after them, and destroy their reputation or even physically assault them. So, at least anecdotally, they accuse men like this far less.

To tell a crazy girl:

And the other questions I’ve either answered a hundred times already, or you can figure out with a Google search ;)

Chase

Robinhood's picture

I am from a conservative asian country. A venue i visit i came to be known as a player due to excessive flirting and preselection. Girls started to auto reject as they sensed they could not get a relationship. A girl i was talking to tested me by saying you are such a player, always talking to girls. To offset the player vibe i told her im not that extreme. Im just looking for someone worthy enough to connect with. As im not in a relationship im not bound to anyone and free to do what i want. When there is something serious then im not like this.

Apparently she went around and told other girls which opened them right back up and girls started acting warm again to me lol what do you think of this if the goal is to get a girlfriend.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Robinhood-

That’s a fantastic answer, yeah.

You’ve switched yourself from being “that guy who uses girls for sex” to “that guy with high standards who might be tamed by the RIGHT girl.”

That’s Byronic 101, absolutely. Great answer!

Chase

Robinhood's picture

PS. Regarding my last comment.. was this an example of converting a flaw into a byronic flaw? Women felt that i had standards and was very choosy to be with someone so they took it as a challenge?

Or maybe this comment was more suited under the new post love game/use game. Does it come across as i am a use game guy who is just flirting around to find a quality girl as an end goal?

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