Tactics Tuesdays: Staying Unfazed (When Girls Try to Faze You) | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Staying Unfazed (When Girls Try to Faze You)

unfazedOnce you've begun working on your abilities to pick up girls for a little while, you'll soon find you run into a flavor of situation again and again that manifests in a variety of forms and a variety of ways: girls acting not as you expected them and you feeling a little surprised, shaken, and fazed.

This post is all about how you can be unfazed, even in the face of the sometimes-disorienting behavior of new women you'll meet while out and about.

Because as you'll come to realize, getting fazed - and remaining unfazed - isn't necessarily about having already been through every situation already. Instead, what it's actually about is a state of mind and freedom from "hoping" for a specific outcome to come about that you can't control.

In addition to that, there are a number of specific, technical steps you can take that will free you from the risk of ending up fazed at some point, because they avoid taking you down the roads that most often lead to guys getting fazed.

And the funny thing is, the more you're able to remain unfazed, the better able you are to bring about the things that can end up seeming out-of-reach to the men who do get fazed.

But, we're getting a bit abstract. Before I say more, first allow me to explain.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Karem.bi@gmail.com's picture

First of all excuse my bad english. This is not my mother tongue:

There is this girl I know since 3 years. She really was into me and chased ME and I was ignorant and didn't really care that much for her. Now it's pretty much the other way around.

We got close a few times(makin out) and she asked me what this means and I told her "lets see where this is going". She of course wanted the security of an relationship but I wasn't ready for that, at that time.

I'm still pretty popular around school and I don't think that she really thinks I'm not worth it anymore but she was pretty distant the last month and the last time we spoke(which was yesterday) was a very serious conversation in which she told me she had something with another man(2 weeks) and that didnt work out for her either.

I've told here I had a date with another girl(part-time model, that she also knows) aswell(which is the truth) but it was just one date. the whole conversation ended in me asking if she sees any chance in us and she answering she needs time to think and know what she is feeling and if it could work out between us.

My question is, do i move fast, do i become active and chase her and persuade her? Or do i go the distant and passive way and ignore her? Is it important to act unfazed in this situation or should it be the opposite. I've read your piece about getting her back, but this is a different situation because she has chased me before and I don't know which route(passive or active) to go. she is also in my facebook btw. which would make it even harder, to not respond to chat for example. I don't want to lose her and really need advice. This is very important to me and it would mean the world to me if you could find the time to answer this. I'm really losing my head over this.

Yuixafun's picture

"This is interesting. I wonder how this will play out?"

Eyes opening wide, barriers fall away... After I read that, I looked up to the ceiling and said OH SHIT laughing.

So simple yet... it's like you flipped my whole attitude in an area of dire weakness with how I interpreted that phrase and all the connotation. My mind is always trying to run to put pieces together and create stories of how things will go... draining energy taxing the present moment... but if I just chill out and adopt that mantra... I'll be unfazed. Easier said than done, but I think I have a new technique for my swordsmanship. Cheers!!

plonge's picture

Hi Chase - your stuff is fantastic, especially things like handling drama. The thing that always throws me is moving from opener into conversation. So I'm a bit confused here. You say - don't use too many questions, but in other places and in examples, you seem to use a lot of them. So, how's that work? I'm wondering if you mean, don't use two q's in a row ...which makes sense. The thing that fazes me most, I'll be honest, is when you open okay, creating a certain curiousity, but after 2 minutes a girl does that thing where she just pretends you aren't there. Awkward! It might what - if anything - would you do there. Or would you just be zen and walk away? Understand if you can't be arsed to answer. I'll probably work out the answer on my own in due course. But the title of your piece made me very curious. That situation really does faze me! Cheers and keep up the unbelievable work. You rock.

Anonymous's picture

met hot european girl at a club this weekend. exchanged numbers and started texting next day. here's a snipet that makes no sense (maybe language barrier, or maybe this girl is nuts). any thoughts would be appreciated:

her:Hey! at work right now, and look you don't even know what I am doing :D
me:hmm well now i'm curious...
her:the reason why I didn't kiss you last night

At this point I decided to thread cut to avoid talking about anything non-productive to us meeting up.Could I be misreading this exchange due to perhaps her poor english? Is she a stripper or prostitute? I figured I would crack the code this weekend when we meet up. Any thoughts would be appreciated!


Wes's picture

Hey Chase,
Are there any posts on exposition and statement way of opening? A guy named David Wygant does something similar but I don't like his style.

Godsninja's picture

I really understand the mindset, but like another commenter said, there are 2 points which seem rather confusing for the toolset:

1. Don't open with questions unless you know what you're doing
2. Don't follow up your opening with a question, unless you asked very strong

Is there any possible way you can elaborate on these two points, like for point one, knowing what you doing as in trying to bed her, so you CAN open with a question then?

For point two, what if she doesn't give you anything good to go off of, so you can't make a statement? Like "Hows your night going" Her: "Good".

These 2 steps just seem opposite of what you've been saying in other articles, and I think it would help greatly if you elaborated a little bit on them.


Alexander B.'s picture

Opening: You tell her what you noticed about her or why you approach her.
Follow-up/Transition: You can use assumptions/cold-reads, observations or tell her what's on your mind.

But until you reached the (social) hook-point with her, it's better you don't brag/use verbal DHVing too much and focus on her. Because that's the topic most people care about and it raises the chances to be seen as likable. It's not that much about your words (logic) but about your overall vibe (emotions). After she's hooked, you can dial it down and use more questions.

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