(2) Intermediate

I had such a great date, but now she won’t meet up again! WTF? Sometimes if you move too slowly, it’ll negatively affect her self-esteem and cause her to auto-reject.

Welcome back to our study on women, sex, and self-esteem! In Part 1, I gave two examples of encounters with girls I liked, and who liked me back. We both wanted sex to happen, but both dates fell apart because the girl’s self-esteem dropped because of something I did – or didn't do.

A girl’s feeling of self-esteem with a guy has a huge effect on how the encounter transpires. Self-esteem drops can kill courtships long before they’ve “rightfully” concluded. The metric most influenced by self-esteem is your attainability with a girl.

To start off, let’s recap this excellent story from Tomas in one of my articles. It’s a great example of self-esteem on the date.

“I met a woman. She was not very attractive but still decent looking and nice. I had only one hour of time for her. We were walking in the park, sitting, talking, etc. She felt embarrassed to look into my eyes but the talk was good.

Actually, I wasn’t turned on, but I still liked her. I took her hand and kissed her. She reciprocated passionately and almost threw herself into my arms. We talked and kissed more. Then, the hour was over. She extended an offer to visit her at her place next time and explained to me where she lived.

She texted me first, some two hours after the date, very kindly.

The next morning, she apologized in a text that she hadn’t felt the right spark with me and preferred not to meet again.

Varoon – I am an advanced seducer, and stories like this do happen. What’s the common reason for this incongruent behavior? Was there really no spark for her? Or there was, but perhaps she felt she made herself too easy for me? Or was she afraid I‘d leave her after sex? What do you think?”

Tomas’ story is one of the classic cases that I often see here – a girl who’s very interested in a guy at the meet and when going on a date but then automatically ejects herself.

Can you guess the fault? It’s simple, really – Tomas moved too slow, which caused the girl to eject because she didn’t feel she was good enough for him. As in my story of Violet from Part 1, the moment I stopped matching her attraction for me and speed for courtship, it fell apart because it left her feeling that I was unattainable and didn’t want her enough.

Every single girl wants to experience good feelings and avoid bad feelings. Unless she’s a girl who enjoys pain (which is usually a result of her history with emotional or mental abuse), no girl wants to feel bad or raw about dating a guy. That can take many different forms, as we’ll see. It’s possible to hurt her self-esteem by being unattractive, needy, and insecure, as much as it is to be too good for her and to move too slowly toward a passionate embrace.

Every group or society has norms it expects members to follow. These norms extend to dating and romance as well. But what if you aren't from the same norm group?

I've done quite a bit of travel and lived in a variety of places, all very different from each other, with people who were all quite different too. Everywhere I have gone, I have encountered many men who told me the women in whatever city or country I was in were 'traditional' and 'hard to get anywhere with'. Often I would have men telling me this after I had already quickly slept with several normal, local women, with normal dating histories (not wild party girls, sluts, or 'exceptions to the rule'). I never want to rub it in a guy's face, so usually I will just say "Well, the girls here seem pretty normal and not too uptight to me."

I am not the only guy this happens to. Everywhere I've lived or traveled for any good amount of time, for every 10 guys I meet who tell me the women there are 'difficult' or 'traditional', I'll meet at least one man who tells me the women there are unbelievably easy. Often these guys sleep with multiple new women a week, oblivious to the guys who spend months or years without girlfriends or lays.

I could spend 10 posts unpacking the differences between the 'girls here are hard to get' guys and the 'girls here are so easy' guys... and in many ways, this website is devoted to just this mission.

Today though, I want to talk about one specific wrinkle of the successful guys' success: playing dumb on dating norms.

Some dating methods are terrible for guys learning to attract the women they desire. If you’re learning game, do NOT focus on these battlegrounds.

I have noticed that many men are shooting themselves in the foot and purposely selecting battles and battlefields that are not beneficial for them when it comes to dating.

For example, when guys want to get laid, many will use:

• Social Circles
• Tinder
• Online Dating

With the right strategies and skills, you can find success is all those battlegrounds, but to be honest, all are relatively crappy compared to others available, especially for beginners.

Picking poor battlefields as the selected method for dating is also counter-intuitive – making this not only more difficult for themselves but also limiting their results and making the process much more frustrating.

This post is partly meant to express some frustration I’m experiencing and answer many commonly asked questions. This post will hopefully clarify my thoughts on simplifying the process of getting laid and finding girlfriends, and help guys make the best use of their time and energy.

Let’s get right to it.

One of the most important questions you’ll ask in your life: “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

But, should you ask it like that?

Eh.

If not, how should you ask? At some point, you have to ask her, right?

Well, kinda.

I’m about to flip this notion of asking a girl to be your girlfriend on its head.

This is the best way to get a girlfriend.

And it’s so simple.

All you need is a little bit of patience, and some balls.

Some pickup artists swear by direct game. Others prefer indirect game. Some guys mix it up. This article is meant to help you decide what is best for you.

Hey, guys. Since we are beating dead horses lately by discussing natural vs. technical game, and inner game vs. outer game, I decided to beat another dead horse, which ironically, I have not seen being discussed much on the blog.

It’s interesting that after almost seven years of writing, I’ve decided to cover the subject bloggers and coaches tend to write their first articles about.

Well, I guess it is never too late, and I am sure some are probably curious about my take on it.

When approaching a woman, much of our anxiety comes from not understanding her perspective. This mindset tweak will help unburden your ego and smooth things out for you.

The assumption with approaching a woman is that you want her to become your lover, and because of that assumption, you probably start off approaching girls you think are going to be easier to handle if rejected, or girls you feel are less likely to reject you.

Approaching women is a unique difficulty that usually only men have to face. It is a startling requirement that tips off women so dramatically of your interest in them that it can cause you to feel helpless and very vulnerable.

So how can you start approaching a woman with confidence like the kind of man she would like to be approached by and want to attract? How can you stop overcompensating because of your fear of rejection?

Here are some ideas.

“Fake it till you make it” is not a disingenuous strategy. You design who you want to be and adopt traits you want to have, until you become your desired self.

“Fake it till you make it” is what many successful people tell others when they can’t give a solid answer as to how they reached their achievements. Luckily here at Girls Chase, we at least point you in the right direction. The question I’d like to address here: is this concept useful for picking up girls?

There are many reasons why people have a negative connotation about gaming; maybe because it seems like it involves a bit of deception, but at the end of the day, it is a game.

As player one, it is your mission to get some pussy. Now, keep in mind there is a big difference if you’re lying and conniving, and if you are, chances are you don’t deserve pussy. That’s not game; that’s manipulation and being a cold bitch, because you’re part of the reason why women have a hard time trusting us true players and lovers of women.

My whole understanding of faking it until you make it is to act as if you have reached where you want to go. So what will it take?