(2) Intermediate

Party pooper girls can ruin your seductions – not to mention your good mood. Yet with the right inoculation, you can protect your interactions and image.

Sometimes you’re going to find yourself talking to one or more girls who are just total party poopers.

They’re low energy, in bad moods, don’t respond to your humor, or otherwise act all prickly.

Now, what you don’t want to do is get caught up in these girls’ bad moods. But you also don’t want to get caught trying to change their moods for them either. That’s not your job, nor is it a good use of your time and energy.

So what do you do with these party pooper girls? If you already approached them, only to discover too late that they’re a total drag, you need some way to either get things going with their rest of their group, or else get out of there without it feeling like you got the wind sucked out of you.

The solution is party pooper girl inoculation – measures you take to firmly have a handle on the frame in the face of girls who are no fun.

Girls ask for things they think they want from you. If you give them these though the attraction dies out. Why? Because what girls want ≠ what they need!

The title for this one is a bit deceptive. Because you ARE going to give her what she actually wants… but you aren’t going to give her what she says she wants.

As you’re talking with women, they will frequently ask you for things or fish for things from you, like:

• Compliments
• Reassurance
• Qualification
• Free drinks
• Free food
• Other compliance

If you give a girl exactly what she asks for when she asks for it, which is what a lot of guys will do, because they feel like they have to, or see no way to decline without looking rude or insensitive, she loses attraction for you. You are not the sexy bad boy rebel she cannot tame. You are, rather, just another guy who will do exactly what she asks of him.

The challenge of course is that you can’t do absolutely nothing, either. She’s asked you for something… you have to reply in some way. You can’t just withdraw into your turtle shell to hide.

What we’re going to do with this Tactics Tuesdays piece is to look at how to give her not what she wants, but what she needs to move things forward instead.

Some men long for pleasure. Others crave victory. Knowing which motivates you more will help you decide where how to lead the most rewarding dating life.

We’ve been talking about who cold approach pickup is for recently. There’s always a contingent of men who really loves cold approach and considers it the best. But there is also always a contingent of men who rejects it, finding it too difficult, inefficient, frustrating, humiliating, and so on.

Cold approach still works – it’ll always work; it works in every society imaginable – but it has always been hard to learn, and that it’ll also always be. Approaching people you don’t know, charming their socks off, and attracting them so much as to make them want to do things you want them to do is never going to be a simple skill to learn.

I see a chance to allay some cognitive dissonance for some readers here though about another dimension of who cold approach is for versus who it is not… while at the same time discussing male motivation, another topic of perennial interest here.

Namely, we are going to talk about the two (2) types of men there are, when it comes to motivation, so that you can better understand what YOU are really in it for – and where you’d do best to concentrate your romantic efforts.

Friends can resist dating friends. But if you follow these 7 steps, it gets a whole lot easier to turn a female friend into your devoted girlfriend.

We get a lot of guys asking about this topic. My usual advice is to stop obsessing over that one special girl and go meet more girls instead! This does a lot of great things for you – both raising your confidence and training up your skills.

Also, you will generally end up meeting girls you really like sooner or later whom you actually do end up together with. It’s a win all across the board! It’s why my general advice for how to get a girlfriend centers on looking outside your immediate social circle.

But let’s say you’re just not ready to do that yet. You’re just not ready to give up this great girl – you’ve got to take another crack at her. Perhaps you’re not in a position to meet other girls… maybe you’re in the middle of nowhere and she’s the only gal around. Maybe you’re so slammed with schoolwork or work-work that you just don’t have time to socialize with anyone but her.

So, in this article, I’ll show you how to turn a female friend into your girlfriend.

If you want to pull it off, you need to do everything in this guide – no halfway attempts! If you do it halfway, you won’t make her your girlfriend, and she will just remain your friend.

For that reason, be sure you read the guide all the way through. Then, be sure you put each and every one of these steps into action.

If you hit it off with a girl but can’t pull her because she has to mind her friend or there’s no private place to take her, what can you do? Use push-pull!

Hi guys and welcome back.

Not long ago, I wrote a post about how to run 2-sets, groups of two girls, one of the hardest groupings to deal with in pickup and seduction. Isolation is difficult in those settings because you cannot fully isolate without leaving her friend alone. It’s why going for groups bigger than three is easier (unless you are dealing with lone wolves). In my guide, I covered how to work with those settings. I won’t recap that here.

But in a previous post, I suggested a cool technique called a barrier that provides great effects when the logistics are not in your favor (for example, her friend does not want to leave so you have enough alone time).

“I would love to drink some Rosé with you back at my place, but I can’t leave your friend behind.”

The above example is one of the lines discussed. The idea is to use a push-pull strategy (Tactics Tuesdays: Push-Pull for Getting Girls) and show mixed signals, but the push here is a sign of interest indicating you’d like to do X or talk about X, but can’t because of Y reason (logistical).

I will discuss how this works plus provide a few examples.

Let’s go!

A reader wonders why men must “jump through so many hoops” to get women. Are women even worth it? Why can’t men just be themselves?

Commenting on my article “What Women Want”, a reader from Bengaluru, India remarked:

I read this with an open mind but was kind of let down by the final conclusion. "What do women want? They want a man who has become what they want. And need." It made me wonder if thats the highest goal in life for a man?? I've chased women and I've jumped through the hoops. But its never enough, what work do they put in to impress or woo us that we need to bend over backwards to woo them. Change my whole being just to be whoever or whatever the fuck she wants me to be just so that I can experience some sex and physical love?? To feel that I too am wanted loved and desired? That I am beautiful too?
Isn't my masculine essence enough for them?? Can I not just be who I am in my essence and attract from there?? why do I need to jump through so many hoops??

He might hail from India, but he may as well be from the West, because I’ve been getting comments like these from men in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and Western and Eastern Europe. I get them from other parts of the world as well, like Africa, the Middle East, Asia, and South America.

The remarks all condense down to sentiments such as:

• “Women aren’t worth all this work.”
• “Women aren’t worth the effort.”

Sometimes women are said to be not worth it “anymore”, implying they once were, but no longer are. Other times women are implied to have always not been worth the effort.

When I read old books (as I am wont to do), I come across the sentiment sometimes there, too – men, hundreds or thousands of years ago, writing that in effect “women aren’t worth it.”

A sentiment this broad, held by so many men, across the world, across time, beggars the mind as one wonders how humanity could have survived with so many men considering women so “unworthy of it.”

Why must men work so hard for women? Are women worth the work?

When girls create unhelpful frames, use a bait-and-switch tension pop (a B&S pop). B&S pops build investment, seize the frame, and tease her all at once.

Have you ever done the thing where a girl was waiting with bated breath for what you were going to say, thinking it was some big, significant reveal…

… only for you to tell her something absurdly lame or mundane? And she just started laughing, maybe punched you in the arm or called you really bad, as ALL the tension in the air evaporated and the two of you were chill… perhaps there was even a little magical spark because of it?

Even if you haven’t, you’ve doubtless seen this tactic from time to time in shows and movies.

I call this technique the ‘bait-and-switch tension pop’. Or the B&S pop for short.

It’s a bait-and-switch (she THINKS she’s about to hear something profound from you… instead she gets something cheesy) that POPS whatever tension you’d built up with her.

It’s a niche tactic with a handful of excellent uses, and one worth keeping in your toolbox.