(2) Intermediate

A reader wonders why men must “jump through so many hoops” to get women. Are women even worth it? Why can’t men just be themselves?

Commenting on my article “What Women Want”, a reader from Bengaluru, India remarked:

I read this with an open mind but was kind of let down by the final conclusion. "What do women want? They want a man who has become what they want. And need." It made me wonder if thats the highest goal in life for a man?? I've chased women and I've jumped through the hoops. But its never enough, what work do they put in to impress or woo us that we need to bend over backwards to woo them. Change my whole being just to be whoever or whatever the fuck she wants me to be just so that I can experience some sex and physical love?? To feel that I too am wanted loved and desired? That I am beautiful too?
Isn't my masculine essence enough for them?? Can I not just be who I am in my essence and attract from there?? why do I need to jump through so many hoops??

He might hail from India, but he may as well be from the West, because I’ve been getting comments like these from men in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and Western and Eastern Europe. I get them from other parts of the world as well, like Africa, the Middle East, Asia, and South America.

The remarks all condense down to sentiments such as:

• “Women aren’t worth all this work.”
• “Women aren’t worth the effort.”

Sometimes women are said to be not worth it “anymore”, implying they once were, but no longer are. Other times women are implied to have always not been worth the effort.

When I read old books (as I am wont to do), I come across the sentiment sometimes there, too – men, hundreds or thousands of years ago, writing that in effect “women aren’t worth it.”

A sentiment this broad, held by so many men, across the world, across time, beggars the mind as one wonders how humanity could have survived with so many men considering women so “unworthy of it.”

Why must men work so hard for women? Are women worth the work?

When girls create unhelpful frames, use a bait-and-switch tension pop (a B&S pop). B&S pops build investment, seize the frame, and tease her all at once.

Have you ever done the thing where a girl was waiting with bated breath for what you were going to say, thinking it was some big, significant reveal…

… only for you to tell her something absurdly lame or mundane? And she just started laughing, maybe punched you in the arm or called you really bad, as ALL the tension in the air evaporated and the two of you were chill… perhaps there was even a little magical spark because of it?

Even if you haven’t, you’ve doubtless seen this tactic from time to time in shows and movies.

I call this technique the ‘bait-and-switch tension pop’. Or the B&S pop for short.

It’s a bait-and-switch (she THINKS she’s about to hear something profound from you… instead she gets something cheesy) that POPS whatever tension you’d built up with her.

It’s a niche tactic with a handful of excellent uses, and one worth keeping in your toolbox.

It’s easy to stumble talking to two girls on your own. How do you run a two-girl set? The secret: a stronger hook… plus avoiding jealousy in the other girl.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Last week, I discussed running 2-sets—groups of two women when you are alone. With a wingman, theoretically, it’s more straightforward.

I also mentioned screening, looking for 2-sets that appear easy to deal with and those that are more difficult or impossible (hint: move on!) by assessing different screening factors.

And I went over a few tips and tricks for running 2-sets.

Today, we will delve further by discussing how to run 2-steps. This post continues last week’s post but also stands on its own. If you like, you may read this first, then last week’s post.

Both posts continue my older post on 2-sets. The advice in this post still applies, and I try not to repeat myself in these two posts. So, check out that post, as it covers the basics and strategies I do not mention here, such as the social proof strategy and the last-resort (ultimatum) strategy.

Today’s topic is how to run a 2-set, covering some theory first. Next week’s post will explore how to sexualize and seal the deal when running 2-sets.

Use these 9 ways to avoid last minute resistance from girls. Pick DTF girls, disqualify yourself as a BF, be a sexy ‘nUt’, + 6 more to have sex sans LMR.

Last minute resistance is the name we give to resistance women give in the bedroom as you begin to escalate to intimacy. i.e., resistance you encounter “at the last minute.”

Sometimes you’ll run a perfect seduction, with great vibes, an incredible connection, touch, the whole nine yards… only to get a girl back, and JUST when you’re about to seal the deal with her, she throws up a resistance wall!

She’s just not sure; it’s too soon; she doesn’t know you that well; she doesn’t do that anymore. She might move away from you physically or push your hands off.

You might be able to move her past this last minute resistance and get the girl in bed. Or you might not. Her resistance may end up being insurmountable for you. Perhaps you can get together with her another time… but most of the time if you begin escalating to intimacy, then fail to get there, you’ll never get another real chance with her again (no matter what she might say to you in the moment!).

To give yourself a surer shot at bedding the girl, there are steps you can take to avoid ever triggering LMR at all. Will you want to take them all? Do they all qualify with the girls you like?

I’m going to run through them here, in order of effectiveness:

Nine (9) different ways to avoid triggering last minute resistance from girls you hope to sleep with.

An all-too-common mistake men make that causes approaches on girls to flop. Even good conversationalists make this mistake… yet it’s simple to correct.

I want to tell you about a common, though obscure, reason why many men’s approaches on women don’t go anywhere.

When I make this reason clear to you, it’s going to be REALLY clear – and if you’re like many guys you may never have realized it before.

This phenomenon (it’s really a mistake) occurs in a great deal of approaches. When it’s there, you will be able to feel something missing in the approach, even if you’re not sure what.

Many things that actually aren’t to blame get fingers pointed at them over go-nowhere approaches. Yet the real reason approaches often flop is far simpler than the tangled accounts men often concoct to explain unsuccessful approaches on girls.

Why do girls trust some men yet feel uncomfortable with others? The answer lies in NUT: a way of comprehending how creepy or trustworthy someone will be.

Recently, I’ve done a lot of study of people’s experiences with stalkers, murderers, rapists (real rapists… you know, the gunpoint / knifepoint / beat-you-up / drug-you-up / tie-you-up kind), as well as just general creeps people meet in the streets, in the wilderness, and all kinds of places. Many of the people sharing these experiences are women, but there are plenty of men sharing them too. The vast majority of these I found on Reddit’s /r/LetsNotMeet (the best) and /r/CreepyEncounters (second best) boards.

Much of the time, before something bad happens, or even before the storyteller is aware of a threatening presence, he or she senses danger: adrenaline starts pumping, fear kicks in, and the person becomes instantly and suddenly AWARE. At other times, a stranger approaches, without causing any sense of fear or creepiness at all… but then, at some point, something changes (often something subtle) that makes the formerly unthreatening stranger grow frightening.

In some stories, the person under threat manages to encounter another random person or group of people to join forces with so the creep will leave him or her alone. Often the teller has a rapid sense that “this person is safe” and will make a trustworthy ally.

In a few stories, the creepy person turns out to have not been a threat at all, but instead someone with some developmental problem, or someone who mistakenly walked into the wrong house or room, or someone whose intentions just got misread. Much of the time, the creeps being talked about seem to genuinely be creeps.

Part of what I was looking for as I read all these tales was, “What is it that causes some people to set off creep alarms, while other people seem so non-threatening – even downright trustworthy?”

Because what we’re really talking about is “How do you put strangers at ease when you approach them, rather than totally unsettle them?” Very useful if you’re doing cold approach, or pretty much anything where you need to interact with strangers – or even people who aren’t strangers; social circle acquaintances, too.

This led me to what I’ll call the NUT model: three factors that determine how creepy or trustworthy another person seems to be – even if that person is a complete and total stranger.

It’s not hard to find girls who date around. But how do you find the girls who don’t – and how do you pick up such shy, conservative girls?

The online world is filled with men declaring that all women are out there hooking up constantly, leaping from one man to the next, and that conservative women are unicorns.

The reality however is that the median American woman sleeps with a mere three men in her entire life. 42% of American women sleep with two or fewer men. 21% sleep with just one man all their lives. 6% die virgins, never having been with a man. Why then does it seem like there’s a non-stop sex party going on?

It’s because all these women who aren’t out there dating, partying, and sleeping around are invisible. They’re not on the scene. They don’t actively date much. Most of them have very quiet social lives, or barely even any social life. Most men who are actively dating women – using avenues like dating apps or nightlife – very rarely run into girls like this. Because, again, these women aren’t active in the scene. The smaller number of prolific dating women, on the other hand, are VERY active… and it is easy to run into them a LOT.

I wrote this article to answer a question guys have been asking me lately: namely, where do you have to go and what do you need to do to pick up shy, conservative girls?