(2) Intermediate

As you analyze your outings once you are out of the field, don’t forget these additional variables: the social frame of the venue, your mood, and more.

Hey guys and welcome back.

For the last two weeks, we have been talking about post-field diagnostics. This process involves analyzing our night, to reconstruct and evaluate it to determine what we did, why we did it, and what impact it had. Our goal is to understand the events that occurred, identify what was done correctly and what wasn't, understand why they happened, and decide what steps to take in the future to improve the outcome.

In my first installment, I reviewed the basics of post-field diagnostics-what it is and when to do it. Last week, I covered the most critical factors: analyzing the interaction and the social context, and ruling out possible external factors.

It's important to master the material from the previous two weeks while keeping in mind that today's variables may still be relevant. These variables are overarching and add an additional layer of analysis that can take your post-field diagnostics to the next level.

The three variables are:

1. #1 Venue culture and social dynamics - Did you fit in? Did you calibrate to the overall vibe and culture there?

2. #2 Venue strategy - Did you apply the correct strategy for the venue?

3. #3 Your mood - How did your mood affect your results and strategic choices?

Let's go through each variable.

When you’re in a venue where you cannot easily approach, you have another option: wave her over. By beckoning girls to you, you change the dynamic.

Commenting on my article about how to open a girl who’s moving, TheDude asks about opening in a very particular sort of venue:

There's this one hyper-cool venue, where all the best cool chicks go. The characteristics:
-a lot of hot women, around 50/50 women-men ratio
-the venue is an outdoor bar, ofter very crowded
-people come here in groups, they sit down by the tables - difficult to make a move here because you need to open whole group + often there's no spot to seat (making you an outsider)
-they only moment you can talk to these chicks freely is when they move from point A to B. The window to act is very short, making things even more difficult
-I'm quite known in my city, so I can't spam approach and I need to minimize negative effects of potential rejection

I'm over 30, I've done some crazy women-related shit, but now I prefer sniper game approach - minimal effort, maximum effect. I'm good with women in general, but in this venue I feel blocked.

The tap & beckon sound good for chicks that walk very close to me, are there any tactics for chicks moving outside of my reach? Should I run after them? What should I say to spark enough interest, but make it look low-effort? Or maybe I should wait for her to join her group and open them (yikes)?

This kind of situation – where everyone is seated at tables with their social groups and there really are not many great opportunities to just bump into people – lends itself less well to approaching. However, if you’re willing to be creative, you’ve got options:

• You can post up at the bar or near the bathrooms (or, if the venue has one, in the smoking lounge) and meet women as they drift in.

• You can run super sociable extrovert-style game where you open people at the tables around you, then jump to their tables, then after chatting with them a bit open the tables adjacent to them. All the while you can be introducing the people between tables and creating a real lively time.

• You can do the good ol’ fashioned “hostess, send a drink to that lovely brunette two tables over in the green dress and let her know it’s on me” and give her the sly nod when the hostess delivers the drink and points you out to her. If she seems excited or intrigued, wait a moment, then go open her.

However, for my money, the most Law of Least Effort-abiding way to open girls in situations like these is this: you catch a girl’s eye and wave her over.

It’s a dead simple tactic. It’s supremely confident. And when it works, it starts you off in an ideal frame.

After a night (or day) out in the field, you need to review your outing to see what worked – and didn’t. Focus on these key variables for the biggest improvements.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Last week, I discussed post-field diagnostics, the assessment you conduct after an outing to pinpoint mistakes and highlight positive moves that help your interaction.

Why should you invest your time in post-field diagnostics? The answer is simple-it's a surefire way to maximize learning from each outing and boost your success rate. As you become better at post-field diagnostics, your progress will soar. You'll develop a profound understanding of pickup and seduction, women, and social dynamics over time. This knowledge will empower you to calibrate, leading to better performance in-field: you intuitively know what to do and when. You'll become adept at strategic calibration, macro-calibration, meso-calibration, and micro-calibration.

In a nutshell, you will become a better seducer.

Last time, we went through the purposes and perspectives of post-field assessment. We ended with a checklist:

1. What happened? Re-visualize the outing and specific interactions.

2. What did you do? Think about each interaction phase and what you did.

3. How did she react? Good or bad? Did it work or not?

4. What worked? And what didn't? What caused her to react poorly? What made her respond well?

5. Why did it work, or why not? Why did she react positively or negatively to what you did?

6. How could you have damage-controlled a poor reaction? How could you have made a good reaction better? Are there other moves you should have made?

7. Is there anything you could have done differently?

8. Were there external factors that may have affected the outcome? (More on this next week).

Today, I will expand this list. I will provide three dimensions to consider when using this assessment.

You’re seeing a girl who acts SO into you, so DEVOTED… but then you find out she lied. Why would a girl so into you she BOMBED you with LOVE be lying?

Over on the forum, we had a member who settled into a relationship with a girl who won him over with love bombs. She seemed like such a good girlfriend candidate! Among other things, she:

• Constantly FaceTImed him any day she wasn’t with him.
• Would even fall asleep at night talking to him on the phone.
• Rushed to his place every chance she got to sleep with / talk to him.
• Pledged never to talk to other guys romantically.
• Went out of her way to make sure he wouldn’t “wander off.”

At last, he asked this loving girl to be his girlfriend – and she agreed.

Happily ever after, right?

Except, one day our hero felt a “strong urge” to check his girlfriend’s phone – just to see if all she’d been telling him was true.

Well, spoiler, but it wasn’t. During the time she’d claimed to have cut off contact with all other suitors, she:

1. Was in fact flirting with guys – not just random guys, but guys she “used to sleep with.”

2. In addition to flirting with these men, she was also (during this time she claimed not to be talking to other guys romantically) sending these guys naked pictures of herself!

When our forum member, after discovering this, probed her for more details (without letting on that he knew), asking her if she was in contact with any of her old hookups, she gave him a firm denial. Our forum member, reeling at her deception, then said

And now all my anxieties about being monogamous are coming back and it’s making me feel so shitty. I can tell it’s bad because I couldn’t get hard much last night as we fucked and I just blamed it on being sick. I constantly feel nauseous and can’t get the thoughts out of my mind. I’m constantly scared that the relationship will end now that I know that all these guys were around and I can’t confront her about it due to how I found out and honestly, I don’t even want to because it’s just gonna make me come off as controlling. I wouldn’t have been as bothered if she was honest about it because we were obviously not official. With the relationship being this fresh, I don’t even want to cause much drama already and idk I have a feeling that maybe they’ll all just fall off down the line as the relationship progresses. Maybe I took too long to make it official. It would have been a different case if I made her my girlfriend last year and she had this communication with them.

It’s not helping that lately she’s hinted a few times that our relationship feels a bit too easy like we are so in sync. I try to sprinkle in some uncertainty and do new stuff with her so that boredom doesn’t creep in too early but knowing what I know now kinda makes that “it’s a bit too easy” comment worsen my anxiety.

Why did this girl feel compelled to keep texting – and sexting – her prior flings, even as she love bombed our hero, and at the same time flat-out lied to our hero’s face by claiming she’d cut contact with all other suitors? Is he right to think that this will just “fall off down the line as the relationship progresses”? Did he, indeed, “take too long to make it official”? Perhaps he should have acceded to her love bombs earlier and all this could’ve been avoided. Why does his girlfriend keep hinting that the relationship feels “too easy” though (especially if it’s the case that it “took too long”)?

What does it mean when women love bomb you, and lie?

When a girl tells you you’re too old for her, she can really mean it… or it might be a test. How you respond depends on how firm her age gap objection is.

A forum member shared a conversation recently with a girl he met at a party, vibed well with, and took a phone number from… who then protested when he messaged her that he was “kinda too old” for her.

He responded in typical guy fashion, trying to get her to explain her reasoning and then negotiate her out of it. She responded how people typically respond to people trying to convince or persuade them, by sticking to her guns harder. Needless to say, our hero did not get the date.

What can you do if a girl protests you’re “too old” for her?

Are you doomed… or does it depend?

Your social frame is how well you fit into a given venue or environment. Do you match it – or do you seem out of place? The better you calibrate, the easier it becomes to excel socially.

Hey guys. Today I'll discuss social frame-the social dimension of seduction. Social frame is the underlying social meaning of the interaction between you and the people you interact with, given their sociocultural background. We can define social frame by one's sociocultural identity, expressed during interactions with others. This generates the social frame.

From my past article on social frame:

What is a social frame?

It is a term coined by master pick-up artist Gunwitch (Allen Reyes) in his product Seduction MMA (still one of the best products out there for advanced guys). My interpretation of his definition of a social frame is that it is a frame that covers everything related to the "social" or the "social aspect" in an interaction, or more precisely, in a seduction.

What Is a Social Frame?

Social frame in this context is about conveying that you appear, on a social level, as the type of guy a girl usually hooks up with.

This helps ease the opening process because a girl will be less hostile as you are a guy who is "okay" to talk with socially in her environment. It also smoothens the hooking process because you gain rapport: she is familiar with guys socially similar to you and realizes that men like you are cool and sexy. Most importantly, she will allow herself to have sex with you because it feels okay according to her social frame. Also, her friends will likely accept you if you match their social frame because they think you are high value and safe.

You can make women intrigued and interested in you without worrying about social frame, but it will be challenging - it is much easier when the social frame factor is in place. Arousing a girl when the social frame is off may lead to female state control (FSC), and she may back off despite being aroused to control her state. She will not allow herself to let go and get carried away because she is unsure whether you are a safe lover or a suitable man for her socially.

Social frame is crucial.

Over the years, I have neglected much discussion of social frame. I have covered subjects relating to it that communicate and amplify social frame, like:

• Social value

• Rapport

• Social proof

But today, let's explore what you should know about social frame.

When you talk to a girl, but she gets distracted and points something else out, what’s the best way to respond? There’s a right way – and some wrong ones.

Commenting under last week’s Tactics Tuesdays installment, on “no spirals”, a reader asks:

Hi Chase,

I have a question, you may can help. I noticed in two of my recent flirts, that I was talking to a girl, and in the situation I came in indirect, but I gave a vibe of romantic interest (not direct statement, but some very light flirting). I noticed both times, we were talking and the girl suddenly starts to say „oh, look how cute this dog is“ or „look, this kid is so cute“. I felt this was „off“, and I even felt a bit „platonic“, however it also felt like she is a girlfriend telling her boyfriend that she finds something cute, so its a VERY mixed signal for me. On the one hand, it kind of infuses too much cuteness and platonic feelings for a flirt, on the other hand, it is some kind of a submission. Do you know these situations and know what to make of them?

Thank you

The quick summary is he’s made some approaches on girls where the girls interrupted to comment on something cute nearby (kid, dog). He wasn’t sure how to respond. Agree? Ignore? Tell a story about your own experiences with kids, dogs, or whatever the cute thing is?

Before we discuss the best response, first let’s talk about what you’re feeling and why it FEELS like the conversation is in danger of veering into ‘platonic friend’ territory.