(2) Intermediate

Cafés & coffee shops can be good spots to pick up girls in – but spam approaches + direct don’t work. To pick up girls HERE, you need a bit of STRATEGY!

I have spent quite a bit of time in cafés and coffee shops over the years. That happens when you run an Internet business and do not have a traditional office-building office.

The right coffee shop/café is great for meeting attractive, cool girls at – but you need to know what you’re doing.

I have seen guys fumbling around trying to be very direct with girls in coffee shops. This only makes things awkward. I have also seen a lot of guys who fall for a barista and get focused on trying to ask out their favorite coffee brewer; they see her every time and gradually fall in love with her and get oneitis.

This guide is not on any of that stuff. This is not a “how to do tons of volume hitting on women in coffee shops” guide. Nor is this a guide to “how to pick up your favorite barista” (if you’re looking for something like that, check out my guide to picking up waitresses).

Instead, this is a guide on how to pick up girls in coffee shops and cafés strategically while you are in these places – so you are operating within the ‘rules’ of the venues while not missing out on interested & available girls.

The first time you bring a girl home, she may be a bit nervous. Follow these simple steps to make a girl comfortable at your place and put her mind at ease.

Hey guys.

Today I’ll share tips on how to make a girl feel more comfortable when you arrive at your place. This can help you dodge potential resistance, and help you deal with it if it arises.

If you have brought girls home and realized they stiffen up or appear uncomfortable, this post is for you. If you are dealing with last-minute resistance, this post is also for you. And if you are experienced and want to reduce facing resistance and escalate more quickly and safely, this post is for you, too

I’ll discuss are basic techniques suitable for beginners, but they also apply to experienced guys.

Some girls will hit you with lots of resistance. Even if they like you, they won’t go past a certain point. You may want to give up. But what if you endure?

On a recent article of mine, a reader asked:

Chase,

You've repeatedly said to move "fast." But I'm seeing field reports of beating around the bush for hours on end. There's one from a dude who was "vibing" for 90 mins. Another one was from a guy who expended three hours before doing constant thigh rubbing. After some resistance, he gave up.

Maybe you could do another article about "moving things along purposefully"?

I like the topic suggestion.

However, reading this comment actually makes me think of a different topic that I feel like writing about more today instead. So, with apologies to our commenter (and perhaps I will circle back to purposeful forward movement… although I have already covered making invites, getting compliance, dealing with girls telling you no, and forward movement; how to time your moves and use ‘timers’ to not stall out, what creates resistance; plus a whole slew of ways to bust through it somewhat to death already), I’m going to write on that topic instead.

The topic for today’s Tactics Tuesday is endurance runs… a surprisingly simple girl-getting strategy, which we have talked about here and there, but one I am frankly a bit surprised more men don’t employ.

Learning to pick up and seduce girls takes time. You will sometimes need to choose: whether to take easy results now OR focus on making major progress.

Hey guys. I hope you are all doing well.

Let’s discuss a phenomenon I regularly encounter with students and see on forums: the lack of patience when learning to pick up girls.

Some guys join this community to get a few quick fixes: they want to find out how to deal with a particular situation. For example, “So, there is this girl in X setting. What do I do?” Others join to improve, learn a few tricks, and move on. Then there is the last group, which consists of most forum members and active readers. These guys are in it for the art. They strive to get as good as possible, reach mastery, and make seduction a primary hobby.

The Girls Chase staff of writers, video creators, and coaches was once part of that group. Despite reaching mastery, most are still fascinated by this process and want to learn more to develop their skills further. As I always say, I will forever be a student of seduction.

This post is for those in this category: you find seduction exciting and want to perfect your game. You choose to focus on your skills and aim to be a master. You want to become a modern Casanova.

This post is also for those who want to improve, although it may resonate more with the former category.

So, today, I will discuss mental roadblocks and provide solutions to ease frustrations and biases you may encounter in the field.

Want a girl to show you she wants to meet? Here’s a simple tactic: do stuff that calls her attention to your face, so she notices you & can signal you.

Here’s something that’s so obvious you’ll be amazed you didn’t think of it yourself.

Most people most of the time, including most women, are in an autopilot ‘holding pattern’. They are in an unstimulated state, awaiting stimulation. Sometimes you will come across women who are present and aware and actively searching (e.g., for a potential mate), but this is somewhat rare. Most of the time people are off in their own worlds.

Of course, before we can commence a courtship or a seduction, we first need to get the attention of the girl we’d like to do that with. You can’t just jump in front of her with your arms waving and yell “Booga booga!” though. So what can you do?

One of the simplest, most casual, most Law of Least Effort-abiding ways to get girls paying attention to you (and elicit approach invitations) is with one of a number of moves designed to get girls to look at your face.

Many guys try to connect with girls as fast as possible. But if the aim is romance, attraction must precede connection – or you (likely) won’t get the girl.

A month back, in response to multiple members of our forum saying they’d been deep diving girls (i.e., seeking to build deep connections with them) early on into their courtships, I talked about the proper times to use a deep dive.

The tl;dr of that article was that you want to save your deep dives until you are in isolation on a date or deeper into a pickup, generally. Today I want to go deeper into the elemental aspect of courtship that makes this so: the secret that attraction must precede connection.

Sure, it happens sometimes that a man and woman form a connection first, then attraction later blossoms, and romance stems from that. That does happen. Especially in Hollywood romantic comedies! But this is not the norm; nor is it a dependable or a very repeatable process.

If you want consistency in your seductions, attraction > connection.

Attraction must come first.