(2) Intermediate | Page 8 | Girls Chase

(2) Intermediate

Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success

Stop Repelling People with Your Uncharitable Assumptions

Chase Amante's picture
quit running people off with this irksome behaviorPeople often make uncharitable assumptions about each other. But when you do this, and tell the other person, you tear your relationship with him or her to shreds.

A few years back I wrote an article about the trouble autistic men have in dating. In it I also talked about my experience as a coach trying to work with autistic men and how fiendishly difficult it is.

(autistic reader trigger warning: I was very blunt in that article, because in my experience dealing with autistic men this is the only way to communicate effectively. Delicacy leads to large and frustrating misunderstandings. Some autistic readers found that blunt article enlightening; others found it depressing. If you’re sensitive, you’ll likely be better off reading my forum thread on practical tips & success stories from autistic men)

One of the things I mentioned in that article was the frequency with which I have found autistic men make ‘uncharitable assumptions’ in conversations with me. I’ve seen it with so many different autistic men that I assume this is probably a normal behavior for them, which they’re likely doing with other people too.

In fact, I think this behavior alone is probably the cause of a large number of autistic men’s falling outs with people. While it’s a small behavior, it’s really, really aggravating.

Autistic men aren’t the only ones who are guilty of this, either. ADHD men do this often too. Any guy who speaks before he empathizes, really, can be guilty of this.

In this article, I’m going to introduce you to this concept, which I am certainly not the first to identify (indeed, there are proverbs around this going back to antiquity), but I’m going to highlight it in ways you probably haven’t thought about before – and hopefully save you from burning some bridges and melting down some relationships with inadvertent rudeness.

Raising Your Odds to Pull Girls & Close via Giving Them "Outs"

Alek Rolstad's picture
building comfort for the next stepEven as you extract a woman home to your place or hers, you can leave her “outs” – which serve to raise her comfort, thus lowering her resistance.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Recently, I have been talking about the importance of giving a girl space and allowing her to opt out of interactions. This approach helps build trust and reduces her perceived risk. Knowing she can opt out at any moment gives her the freedom to leave if the situation becomes uncomfortable. This sense of security increases her comfort, making her more likely to engage, as she knows she can exit if necessary.

It’s especially beneficial to give a girl ease of opting out when she needs to make a decision with an increased risk perception, like isolating or going home with you.

Today, I’ll cover how this technique can help you during extraction as you leave the venue with her and head to your place.

Note that I mention “your place.” She perceives going to her place as safer because it’s familiar. Your place is new and unknown, and that’s always scarier because of the uncertainty. For this reason, this post will generally focus on getting her back to your place.

By all means, go back to her place if you can. Overall, my experience has been that going to her place is ideal. Aside from practical reasons, such as not having to clean your place beforehand, another advantage is that she automatically relaxes in her own environment, which can cause less resistance.

The question is, why not always go to her place? Note that this poses challenges, too. There may be unfamiliar logistics: she could have roommates, share a place with a guy, live far away, or random people might show up. Those wildcards, although unlikely, can still happen.

The main reason I prefer heading to my place instead is that it usually requires lower compliance to accomplish. Getting a girl to go home with you, whether it’s her place or yours, is a challenging task requiring plenty of compliance. So, you want to opt for the solution requiring the least compliance—taking her back to your place.

You usually need to generate more compliance to take you back to her place than getting her to go to yours. She feels more responsible and guilty about what might happen when she brings you home. She has tacitly agreed to have sex or at least actively has a hand in what is about to happen. When she goes to your place, she is acting more passively.

Remember, women usually prefer taking a passive role due to social conditioning. Slut-shaming and other negative sexual conditioning can make her avoid a sense of guilt regarding what is about to happen. By tagging along with you as you head to your place, usually with an excuse like, “Let’s go back to my place and continue our conversation.” This takes away her guilt. Yes, she realizes why you are inviting her back, but this plausible deniability lets her feel less pressure.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dumbing Down to Bang Smart Girls

Chase Amante's picture
dumb yourself down, lay smart girlsIf you’re smart guy, smart girls will love you… as a boyfriend. But what if you want to bed them quick? Well for that, you’ll need to dumb yourself down.

I had this X post that confused a few guys. One of them asked me to write an article going more in-depth on it. So here that is.

In particular, in this Tactics Tuesdays installment, we are going to look at:

  • Why dumbing yourself down with smart girls gets them into bed

  • How exactly to dumb yourself down with smart girls to be sexy to them

  • What you can do to ‘recover your smartness’ after if you actually want to date them

If you have a penchant for pensive women, read on!

(if smart chicks just ain’t your thing, well, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow)

Modern Man Problem: Clamoring for Respect & Submission (Rather Than COMMANDING It)

Chase Amante's picture
why don't men respect you? why don't women submit to you?You don’t get respect from other men or submission from women by asking, begging, or pleading for it. You get it by commanding it – PERIOD.

As the enfeebling of Modern Man continues apace, I’m seeing an explosion of angry men all over the place grousing about the same complaints again and again:

  • “People need to respect men more!”

  • “Women need to learn how to be submissive!”

It’s painful as a man when no one respects you.

It is painful as a man when women refuse you submission.

It is painful, and makes you feel as if you are less than a man.

It’s because you ARE, until you get that fixed: if you are not a man able to command respect from other people and submission from women, you are a lesser man.

But you won’t attain respect + submission by whining, stomping, pouting, or complaining.

If you wish men to respect you and women to submit to you, you must do something else.

Give Girls "Escape Routes" When You Isolate Them (+Comfort)

Alek Rolstad's picture
open exits, open trustAs things progress with a girl, you’ll want to get her isolated. Once you do, however, to make it go smooth, you must ensure she feels she has an “out”!

Welcome back.

In the last few weeks, I’ve discussed giving a girl space to opt out and allowing exit routes to build comfort. The idea is to help her feel she can leave any time if things are not to her liking. The purpose is to reassure her. If she knows she can easily leave, your girl will be more likely to go with things, viewing them as less risky.

The idea is not to make her flee but to make her feel as if she can. The result? More often than not, she will stay. If she does not, she would have left anyway. So, it is a win-win.

Today, we will discuss how this applies to isolation and extraction.

Using Humor with Women in a Romantic Relationship

Chase Amante's picture
using humor in romantic relationshipsHumor plays a key role in healthy romantic relationships. Not everyone uses it well, though; some barely use it at all. Here’s how to use it to buoy up & solidify your relationships.

We’re a few days away from the launch of my novel tease-the-girl method, Lush Teases™ (you can find the latest Lush Teases™ video here). In keeping with this week’s theme (‘tease weak’), I’ll be discussing the use of humor with women – in your romantic relationships.

While much of what I’ve been marketing Lush Teases™ for is the dating/seduction aspect of humor, the fact is humor plays an outsize role in your ongoing romantic relationships, too.

In the Lush Teases™ sales presentation (which will be live in a few more days), I quote a number of studies on the effects of humor. Some of these are on humor’s impact on your relationships – and the effects are LARGE:

  • 92% of couples say humor makes “significant contributions” to their romances (source)

  • 75% of couples laugh together once per day

  • Partners’ humor use is strongly tied to relationship quality & satisfaction

  • Constructive humor in particular dramatically raises long-term relationship satisfaction (source)

  • Women rate their partners’ sense of humor as one of the four most IMPORTANT factors to them staying in the relationship (source)

Humor is important enough for relationship health that women strongly look for it when selecting long-term partners. It plays such a role in relationship success that men’s poor use of humor in their relationships is actually predictive of divorce.

In other words, humor is vital – if you want a good relationship that is.

In this article, we’ll look at HOW you should be using humor in your relationships, and in WHAT ways you can use it.

Leaving a Girl an "Out" in Your Seductions

Alek Rolstad's picture
freedom fosters attractionWomen relax more into seductions when they feel they have an “out.” Make her feel free to opt out, and you’re far more likely to get her opting in.

Hey guys and welcome back. This is the first installment in a new series on leaving women “escape routes” in your seductions.

Today, I’ll discuss something I mentioned a few weeks ago in my indirect game series in the article “Do Girls Know You’re Hitting on Them When You Are?” During indirect game, it is not about whether or not she has good reasons to think you like her, but that whatever interests you is never truly “officialized” (made explicit) until you know that she is ready to say yes and her compliance levels are high.

Being explicit about your interest level and “officializing” your connection places her in a position where she either has to accept or reject your advances. If her interest is too low, she will resist. However, if the interest is not “official,” she will not feel forced to decide whether she accepts your advances. More importantly, she does not need to make her response explicit to you, as she can easily maneuver her way out if you turn out to be a creep. If she doesn’t know you, this is a possibility in her mind.

Tactics Tuesdays: Fuck, Marry, Kill

Chase Amante's picture
fuck, marry, killInject fun, break rules, and find out a girl’s deep opinions of men (which you can bond with her on… or TEASE!) with old classic ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’.

This is an older seduction gambit that is very straightforward but pretty silly and fun.

It’s most useful in bars, nightclubs, parties, etc.

Essentially, you are going to ask a girl to point out three men in the venue to you:

One she’ll choose to fuck, one she’ll choose to marry, and one she’ll choose to kill.

This opens up all kinds of paths to all manner of irreverent humor, sexual frames, and chances to find out about her values and bond with her over them.

Giving Her a "Set the Drinks Down" Kiss at Your Place

Skilled Seducer's picture
the drinks down kissA simple, potent way to ease into a romantic kiss: get her comfortable, get her a drink, then after a moment set down your drink, take hers, and kiss her.

This post by Franco originally appeared on our forum here.


Kissing is a hard subject to write on.

There are definitely fundamentals that can be learned to improve your technique, but what really drives women wild is if you know how psychologically get them excited to be kissing you in the first place.

This all depends on

  1. The mood,
  2. The setting, and
  3. The build-up to the kiss.

My main reason for writing this is that I would love to contribute a killer method for landing the first kiss and making a girl melt in your arms.

Who Is Really the Chaser in a Good Seduction?

Alek Rolstad's picture
the dating chase dynamicA good seduction consists of a man enticing a woman and creating desire inside her for him. But with him doing all this, is he the chaser — or is it her?

Hey guys and welcome back.

In the past few weeks, I have covered indirect game. This form of seduction is when one withholds interest in a girl until she warms up and shows interest (unless she is interested from the start). I discussed all dimensions of indirect game, including how one should display interest (yes, one still should show interest when running indirect game), how much disinterest to display, and how to do it. I also have many posts about calibration to assist with indirect game.

Today, I will discuss a commonly debated subject that many men ask themselves:

“If the goal is to make a woman chase, so I appear to be the prize, how does this make sense if I am the approacher and the one trying to get her to bed? Am I not, by default, the one chasing her?”

It’s a great question.