Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

So You’re a Showoff… How Do You Use It?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

being a showoffIn “Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets", a reader writes in asking about the desire to show off:

“Hey, Chase,

I would like to see your article on desire to show off. I have such problem in me that usually I want to be seen as awesome and seek for approval, but it is something that really fucks up with my goals, because I forget my stuff to do and chase approval of peers and girls instead. Such situation where I get flaky girls not responding, or rejections actually bothers me a lot and is extremely painful and I feel so stuck in seeking validation, so I’m insecure and this off putting, I know. Any thoughts?”

The desire to be impressive; it’s one that almost every man has to some degree or another.

Some of us have it on a grand scale, while others only have a tiny drop of it; but if no one cared about being powerful and letting all the world know it, action movies (and tales and stories) where the guy gets to save the day wouldn’t be nearly so popular in our time and times past, and dreams of becoming a star or celebrity would be far less common dreams to dream.

Yet, the desire to be impressive can lead us to some pretty ignominious ends:

  • Crippling approach anxiety because we fear looking the opposite of impressive if we approach her and come off poorly or are rejected

  • Inaction when we should take action, because we don’t want to risk making the wrong move, looking bad, and messing it all up, all of this leading to missed escalation windows and expired attraction

  • A tendency for a great many men to require liquid courage before they’re even ready to start approaching, and a much easier time approaching anonymously in dark, crowded nightclubs (where it’s harder, the competition is fiercer, and the overall quality is lower) than on the street in broad daylight (where it’s easier, the competition is nil, and the overall quality is great)

  • Valuing reactions over results, because buddies or disciples are far more impressed by hopped up antics that get girls clapping and screaming than they are by subdued conversation... even if that latter is more likely to lead to a girl in your bed

Plus all number of other success saboteurs.

How do we deal with being a showoff then – do we suppress it, or can we use it?

Being Yourself: How Important is Congruence?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

Note from Chase: this is a reflection piece by Alek on the redeeming qualities of the “be yourself” advice that I discussed as often harmful and distracting in my piece on it a few years back – primarily, Alek uses the phrase to discuss the importance of congruence.

being yourselfThe most famous dating advice there is “Just be yourself.” Often times, when men ask women for advice, this is the answer they receive. But does this advice have any desirable effects?

Most of us would say no. Good men have tried to be themselves without getting any results. Many of us would say that “just be yourself” is terrible advice, because it doesn’t tell us anything about what women are actually attracted too, nor does it inform us of any specific ways to attract them.

And then you have site like Girls Chase that give you guidance on how to seduce women. Without being arrogant, the huge amount of information on this site (and other similar sites) makes mainstream dating advice look like crap.

But is there any truth in “just being yourself”? In my opinion there is, and that’s what this post will be exploring. Keep reading and you might find some revealing facts. This one’s for all men dedicated to seduction.

How to Hang Out with a Girl (and End Up in Bed Together)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In many articles on GC, we’ve talked about how important it is to avoid ending up being a girl’s platonic guy pal whom she taps for personal and emotional support, and never lets things proceed any further:

Yet, while it is imperative for newer guys who have not yet become the compelling, demanding, sexual studs of men that women are wont to sleep with to avoid the “friend” role, the more advanced you get, the more easily you can “bend the rules.”

In fact, it’s completely possible for you to learn how to hang out with a girl calmly, casually, and like nothing more than a friend... and still sleep with her.

Believe it or not, there are even advantages to this style... such as simplicity.

how to hang out with a girl

This is the “friend approach” to seduction, and it’s a bit different from what I and the other guys usually talk about on here; however, if you have friends who are naturals with women, you’ve almost certainly seen it before.

You know: that buddy of yours who just has the most laid back “dates” ever – all he ever does is hang out with girls super casually, and then they just somehow always stumble into his bed?

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could consistently do that?

Next Level Seduction Pt. 4: The Power of Childhood Games

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

This post is Part 4 in my series of Next Level Seduction series, a series dedicated to illuminating and breaking down the most advanced concepts, processes, and subtleties involved at the highest level of seduction. It’s about discussing ideas that most men may not necessarily think about and identifying the nuances of living your life as a highly sexual and desirable male. So, if you’re new to the game, you can either ignore this or try not to be intimidated. You can read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.

Do you remember that experience when you were younger; the feeling of being an adolescent or teenager and wondering about what girls were thinking?

And then, somehow, you found yourself in a situation where you were in a circle with a bunch of your friends. And there was always small talk about classes or the newest movie everyone wanted to see, but inevitably, one inquisitive child would ask about or propose playing a game.

Maybe it was truth or dare. Maybe it was spin the bottle. Maybe it was seven minutes in heaven. Or maybe, just maybe, it was never have I ever. And then there would be that moment; that moment where a couple people giggled, a couple people looked at each other, a couple people blushed, and one or two brave souls admitted that they wanted to play too.

seduction games

And then the game would begin. And by the end of it, something memorable would always happen. Maybe you got to kiss your crush at the time, aka, the girl of your dreams. Maybe you got to feel a girl’s body for the first time. Or maybe you just saw two of your friends disappear into a closet and were riveted and shocked when they told you the story of what happened during the recap the next day.

But, no matter what happened, that experience (or those experiences) have always remained with you. Maybe you brought it back in high school and something interesting happened. Maybe you experimented with them in college and brought back that playful childhood inquisitiveness.

But the thing is…the feelings from those experiences never really go away. Everyone — man or woman — has that awkward child in them who just wants to flick a glass bottle and have it stop while pointed at the person they have a crush on.

And playing a childhood game can be a great way to set yourself up for a unique sexual experience— at any age. People never get tired of them. But why is that?

Today I’m going to look at those old childhood games that we all know and love, and I’m going to talk about why they’re absolute sexual dynamite.

What Does It Mean to Be a Man?

Drexel Scott's picture

By: Drexel Scott

It is taken for granted, as well it should be, that women respect strong men and detest weak ones. There is no way around it, and no amount of pretty, eloquent fluffiness will detract from the impact it already has on your life.

You see it everywhere: women throwing themselves at men with spines while trampling on those without and laughing in their faces.

Today’s article is not a discussion of strength in the physical sense – you can find articles on how to get in great shape elsewhere on this website. Instead, this is about a topic that I don’t often see discussed: being a man of conviction.

Some good Hollywood examples of men with conviction are James Bond and Han Solo; classic archetypal males who get the job done and get laid doing it.

be a man

7 Powerful Sexual Lines That Turn Girls On Fast

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

Since my recent posts have been covering basic yet important elements of seduction, today I decided to share a really powerful, advanced technique. So this post is primarily for advanced seducers.

The technique I will talk about – that of sexual lines – will allow you to get women chasing you in clubs and bars in no time. Another aspect of it is that women will chase you sexually, allowing you to escalate to really dirty sex. This technique is advanced and requires you to have your basics in check and be able to comfortably get sexual with women.

sexual lines

But what if you are a beginner?

Well, I will also share a simplified version of the actual technique that should give somewhat similar results but that’s less risky and easier to pull off. The price you pay however is that the simplified version will have less of an impact.

Quit Trying to Win Over Your Girlfriend

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

win over your girlfriendI covered one side of the "your responsibilities in your relationship" spectrum in "A Failed Relationship is a Failure of Leadership."

Now let’s talk about the other side.

I see a lot of men busting their behinds to keep their girlfriends happy, entranced, and entertained, to the point where they seem to be treating their relationships like a full time job – in addition to whatever else they do during the day when they’re not with their girlfriends.

These men are all too aware that keeping their woman happy and their relationship strong is their responsibility, yet they go about doing it in taxing and inefficient ways.

In fact, some of the men who pour gargantuan amounts of energy into keeping their women happy still fail the leadership test, because leading your relationship is not about immersing your partner in non-stop stimulation to keep her distracted, sated, and engaged.

And if you are doing this, you are doing it wrong – not to mention needlessly expending barrels of energy you could be using for something more productive than trying to win over a girlfriend again and again who probably would respect you more if you didn’t.

Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Last week, in “Game Imbalance Hypothesis” we discussed the concept that environmental influences greatly affect your game, which affects your sexual competitiveness in different dating markets.

And in “Navigating Highly Competitive Sexual Markets” we talked about how you can adjust to new and more competitive sexual markets than what you’ve traditionally been accustomed to (going from suburb to city, say; or dive bar to dance club).

Today what we’ll talk about is low competition sexual markets – the places you can go to stand the best possible chance of having your efforts to meet and get somewhere with women go as seamlessly and easily as humanly possible.

low competition dating

Those places you go where, with little or no adaptation required, you start stacking up reams of lays and high quality girlfriends, based on your skill set and fundamentals developed in tougher markets alone.

While high competition sexual markets are fantastic for training you up and forcing you to advance your game to new heights so to pass more stringent sexual selection criteria, low competition markets allow you to take what you already know how to do and maximize its output.

These places serve as multipliers for your success rates.

The 6 Rules of Cougar Dating (You Must Follow These!)

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

cougar datingOver the last few weeks we’ve covered “The 7 Greatest Things about Cougars” and “How to Have Sex with a Cougar”. These two posts covered why cougars can be so alluring, why it can be fantastic to be able to get sexually involved with them (as if you didn’t already know that), and how to go about actually getting one in bed.

So suppose you followed the methodology of the last two posts. You’ve come to understand the mindset of the cougar; you’ve come to understand what her circumstances and what her expectations are; and you followed the process of either meeting her in person or online and managed to take her to bed. And let’s say now you have put yourself in the situation where you have an established sexual relationship with the cougar.

How do you go about maintaining consistent and positive rapport with her? That is what I want to talk about today: the six rules of cougar dating.

Are Women Your Friends Or Your Enemies?

Drexel Scott's picture

By: Drexel Scott

Throughout this article I will discuss the two general attitudes I see men taking towards women in the seduction community along with which one I think is most beneficial for you in the long run. Those of you who regularly read my work at Girls Chase already know that I believe the full, mature potential of a young man goes far beyond his prowess with the ladies – and this article will follow that same vein: of being a better man; the best man you can be, and creating the life you truly wish to live for yourself.

We could easily separate the two major styles of seduction into the following categories: Combative and Cooperative. They involve different mindsets, drastically different actions, different follow-ups, and wildly different consequences.

women friends or enemies

I will give examples of both, but first let us begin with the big-picture frame of each.