Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why Having a Girlfriend Makes You Better with Women

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

girlfriend confidence
Few things can boost a man’s game like having a girlfriend. Women show more interest, and talking to them becomes easier. Ever wonder why this is?

During my previous monogamous relationships, I noticed that my ability to talk to women dramatically increased, as did their attraction. I would also get a lot more approach invitations and even get approached on occasion, mostly because of social circle game – we’ll talk about that later.

I had to ask myself, “Why am I suddenly better with women while I have a girlfriend?”

The answer: “You just are.”

But like you, I wanted more details. What specifically is it about being in a relationship that made me magnetic? Obviously, I was harder to get, and this unattainability stirs female lust. But after looking deeper, I've discovered some more key factors of having a girlfriend that can affect your game for the better.

Here they are.

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.8: Other Factors of Success

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

hooking-factors
Now that we’ve covered the main ingredients of hooking girls in, let’s explore some behind-the-scenes factors that can make or break your success.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Last week, I went into the finer details of hooking. Today, I will discuss additional factors that are worth keeping in mind during the hook phase.

This post compiles all the little bits and pieces that didn’t make their own individual post. But don’t be fooled – these concepts and techniques only just now being mentioned doesn’t mean they aren’t relevant, or less relevant than any of the other points made in previous posts.

I simply didn’t see the purpose of making individual posts about these subjects. I may do so in the future – if you’re interested, let me know in the comments section. Also, some of the concepts like social proof have already been discussed in depth, so I won’t repeat myself. Let’s get on with it.

These are factors that will make hooking easier. You’re probably already aware of some of them, but for the sake of context, it is key to mention them. If you’re not familiar with these concepts, feel free to read up on them, as they are all covered on Girls Chase.

Female Sub-Communication Tactics: Scapegoat Framing

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

scapegoat frame
Women often reference third parties to covertly obtain info about you and what you want. Understanding this clandestine woman-speak can be very useful!

Women are masterful at communication. The ability for women to convey and decipher information is so sophisticated that most men completely miss the point and wind up wondering... “What the hell are these girls talking about?”

As men, we’re very direct and straightforward, saying things in ways that usually don’t have subconscious meanings. Women, on the other hand, can be circuitous and sneaky, conveying information in two layers. The first layer of communication is what’s obvious, but as we all know, the real meaning behind what women say is hidden in the next layer.

This layering of communication allows women to acquire information in a multitude of ways that aren’t apparent at first glance.

Women sub-communicate their intentions to get what they want from others. One of the best examples of this is the “scapegoat framing” tactic, which I will share with you today. It’s a means for a woman to acquire information about guys for her own purposes, while simultaneously using it as a form of influence by creating a condition around a mysterious third party.

In the last couple of months, I’ve experienced this frame on two separate occasions. In the first case, with a girl called Tanya, the frame was used to persuade and influence. In the second case, with Sarah, the frame was used to acquire information – the opposite of Tanya.

For Getting Girls, What You 'Cost' a Woman Is Vital

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

what you cost to date
Once you’ve made yourself an attractive man women want, the battle is half won. The next step: finding ways to lower your cost, to make it easy for women who want you.

Most of what men focus on when they think about doing better with women is what they have to offer women. They think about how they can sell themselves to women; what women have to gain from them. Their value. Being impressive, taking women on fun dates, getting muscular, showing off their successes, having cool stories to tell – all these are ways to better display what you have to offer to a woman.

Much of what we focus on on the attraction side for men at Girls Chase focuses on bolstering what you have to offer, too. With better fundamentals you become a man women are more and more interested in. And with better game you make it easier and easier to showcase your attractive sides and find ways to get girls to go come with you.

Yet there’s another side of the equation to any value offering. It is not just how valuable something is, but also what its costs are.

That’s ‘costs’ plural, because there are always multiple costs to anything you acquire or add to your life. Costs like:

  • Time: how much time does it take to get this thing?

  • Money: do you need to spend money to get it? If so, how much?

  • Image: are there costs to your image if you acquire this thing?

  • Motivation: do you have to exert willpower or fight inertia to get this thing?

  • Opportunity: by choosing this option, do you give up something else?

... and more.

When it comes to dating and seduction, every woman you meet faces these and other costs when she considers you.

Tactics Tuesdays: Imagine Games

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

imagine game
Fun personality games you can use with women you talk to, ‘imagine games’ increase a girl’s immersion and connection – when you use them right.

There’s a class of game or gambit we can call ‘imagine games’. An imagine game is when you ask a girl to imagine something, like that she is wealthy or can travel anywhere she wants to. You then spin her answer into a cold read, which escalates the courtship forward and makes her feel like you know her very well (thus establishing some similarity).

Imagine games are similar to, but different from, other games I’ve talked about on Girls Chase before, like:

These sorts of games (imagine games, and the games above) have the added advantage of creating a bubble with a girl, where she zeroes in on you and becomes intensely focused on you, and the outside world drops away, immersing her.

(the downside of this much immersion, this fast, is that it’s difficult to sustain for long, and if you don’t bring her out of it on your own terms, the spell breaks. So, just make sure you bring her back up to the surface on your own so she feels you’re in control and it never gets awkward – you can always re-immerse her later on)

We’re going to take a quick look at ‘imagine games’ – how they work, wrong ways to use them, and right ways to use them – below.

3 Types of Edge, and How to Use Them to Attract Women

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

3 types of edge
Every man has edge, but it’s sometimes hidden or underdeveloped. Here are 3 types of edge you can cultivate into a highly attractive persona.

Edge is something of an esoteric subject. We all know when someone has it. We can see it and feel it when we’re in their presence. But how do you develop edge? That’s what I aim to explain in this article.

Edge, simply put, is something you reveal and then express. Everyone has edge within them. They only need to reveal it, then express it.

Have you ever met an MMA fighter who seems like the most normal of guys? There’s nothing intimidating about him visually, but if you see him train, spar, or fight, you know he’s a tough cookie.

While that’s cool and has some “hidden value” magic to it, it’s not going to help him socialize with those outside his circle, people who don’t know about his talents.

The purpose of edge is to purposefully affect those around you, both men and women. Your edge should intrigue (and maybe even frighten) the people you meet.

It’s meant to trigger those around you to think “There’s something more to this guy than meets the eye.” Edge is, as the name implies and denotes, a feeling of anticipation. Something is bubbling beneath the surface. What is it? It depends on the type of edge that man possesses.

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.7: Locked-In Positioning

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

lock in positioning
How do you get in the ideal position to lock yourself in with a group of girls? Our resident night-game expert shares his strategies – with diagrams!

Hey, guys! Welcome back. So this is my final addition to the locking-in part of this series. Today, we will get straight to the point and discuss the aspect of positioning within the larger concept of “locking in”. Previous posts applied to most types of pickup, including day game (I even added some examples in my previous post). However, this one is dedicated primarily to night game.

I recommend that you read the other posts before this one. I won’t repeat myself too much here. The fundamentals were covered previously, so I won’t go into them in much detail now. You must be familiar with what locking in is and why it’s useful before proceeding with this post.

Quickly explained, “locking in” is part of the hook phase. The idea is to make it seem to the outside world and the girls you are interacting with that you have been accepted into their group.

There are two ways this can happen – one is to build compliance and become accepted as a natural progression. The issue here is that it can take some time, and occasionally, you may not become locked in even with high compliance with your girls, simply because women are passive and may not invite you in, even if they really like you.

That’s why we use locking in: to speed up and control the process. We want as much control as possible. The way this works is that by positioning ourselves or creating a scenario that sub-communicates that we are part of the group, we will make the girls (and dudes) backward-rationalize into accepting us being there (i.e., “This guy is positioned in a way that communicates that we’ve accepted his presence – that must mean we accept him!”).

Today, we will discuss how positioning can affect this. We will get practical later, but before we start, let’s discuss some of the real basics regarding positioning.

Fixing Your Woman's Bad Behavior with Sex

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

fix bad behavior with sex
Want the most enjoyable way to fix a girlfriend’s bad behavior? Do it with sex! However, you must be careful to do this the RIGHT way…

I was too late with yesterday’s Recommended Reading list to make Tactics Tuesdays this week. But we’ll still cover a useful tactic for your relationships regardless.

Today’s tactic focuses on fixing a female partner’s behavioral problem through a mix of calling a problem out both before and during (good, but not great) sex.

This is an ‘intermediate’ level tactic and up. I don’t suggest it for beginners... you need to be fairly dominant already with women to pull it off, and you need fairly solid social calibration/timing. If you’re still building your confidence around women, save this tactic for once you’ve built up more.

You’ll also want to save this for your more girlfriend-level relationships. Using it with friends with benefits is too much; while it’s a great technique for behavior-shaping, it also communicates to the girl that you are really looking out for her, and this is a bit too much for casual relationships.

The gist of the technique is you will tell a girl to knock off a bad behavior... then begin sex with her... then, when the sex is good (but not before then), you’ll tell her in a dominant-yet-protective way that you want her to cut off the behavior and how it is for her own good.

Before we get to the technique though, we need to talk about one aspect of it.

Recommended Reading 2018: Lubbock's List and More

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

recommended reading
A collection of books across many genres Chase recommends. History, business, biography, psychology, spirituality, self-defense… there’s much to read.

I wrote a post in 2012 about books I’d read and would recommend to readers. It’s been six years since then, and I’ve had numerous folks over the years ask me for an updated list. This is that updated list.

I won’t include books already on my 2012 list, but I still recommend them all. The books on that list by Jared Diamond have come under academic scrutiny more recently, and have not necessarily stood the test of time. Still, even those books were fun reads... and everything else on my 2012 list I’d continue to heartily recommend. You can see that list here.

Full disclosure: there are Amazon affiliate links for these books in this post. I almost left them out, since Amazon affiliate pays such trinkets, but if we’re going to send them traffic I guess if you buy through those links some of it might as well come back here rather than all stay with Amazon. Note however that many of these books are available free online (especially the ones written prior 1950, most of which are no longer covered under copyright), so if you want to pick them up that way, you can likely find them with a quick search engine query.

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.6: Lock-In Props and Moving Your Girl

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

lock in and move
Rapport plays a big role when getting locked in. Here are some tools to make a girl you just met feel she’s known you for much longer.

Hey, and welcome back!

So, previously we discussed the theoretical background behind “locking in” – the end of the hook phase – and creating a scenario where you can claim to be part of the interaction, if not part of the group altogether.

It doesn’t matter if you stand there talking to a group of chicks for 30 minutes. If you never get locked in – either by deliberately locking yourself in or being locked in by the girls themselves – you will most likely get nowhere.

In some cases, as mentioned previously, you may approach a group, deliver your game super-smoothly, and hit a high note, generating compliance that would lead the girls to invite you further into the interaction.

Sadly, as we discussed previously, this tends to be the exception rather than the rule. In most cases, girls won’t naturally invite you in, despite liking you a lot. The reason for this is because you are the guy – the active one in charge of making things happen. Women tend to be more passive, so they are less likely to make a move to escalate the interaction further.

Therefore, I wrote this post about the concept, originally crafted by the community godfather “Mystery” back in the 2000s. Many are familiar with the Mystery Method, yet very few seem to discuss this crucial aspect of it. Locking in is key. Period.