Tactics Tuesdays: Go with a Wingman or Roll Solo? | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Go with a Wingman or Roll Solo?

Chase Amante

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wingman vs. solo
You’re about to go out and meet girls. But should you go with a wingman or just roll solo? 8 reasons solo is good and 8 reasons a wingman is.

You’re new, but you’re excited. You’re ready to go out and meet new girls. But it seems a little scary, and you’re not sure how to start. One of your biggest questions: go out with a wingman, or go it alone?

We’ve discussed both solo and wingmanning before on Girls Chase. Both are very different approaches, and each offers its own advantages and disadvantages.

Today’s article is a direct comparison between the two. Should you roll solo to meet new girls? Or is it better to take a wingman along?

When you’re new to chatting up girls, this can be one of your big decisions: whether you head out alone or find someone to go with you. Yet even if you’re more experienced, odds are (if you’re like most men) you’ll have settled into one particular style... either you always/usually roll out alone, or you always/usually roll out with a wing. This may be the style you’re comfortable with – but it may not be the style that serves you best.

We’ll pick apart the nuances of wingmanning vs. going stag here, and help you better decide which style to use for what occasion.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

AnonUser's picture

Dear Chase,

I (and many more I'm sure) are eagerly awaiting one of your articles on street-smarts and staying safe while outside, whether for pick-up or for something else. This is from someone who read and really enjoyed your "Street Smarts" article. I really hope you produce another Street Smarts II article.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

AnonUser-

Well, hmm. You read the original street smarts article. Somewhat related would be the hard target series:

... though those don't really deal with physical danger / attackers / threats.

Did you have anything in particular you wanted to know about that I didn't cover in the earlier street smarts article?

Chase

Pryam's picture

Chase,

I would like some insight from you here.
I will attend college in the US as from next year. This will be my first time in the US.
I come from a developing country. I have travelled a few times but I have never been exposed to the American culture. (Asides from movies and reading)
I understand I may face some issues, both with getting girls and collecting cool friends if I am not myself a cool guy by the standards of the girls and guys over there.
I will do my best to blend in and really become one of them.
1.Can you think of any kind of strategy I can follow? And what can I focus on right now to "Americanize" myself.
2. Do you think if I mange to become really cool, fundamentals and all, I can overcome race barriers ( if any;) ?

Thanks

Dud's picture

Don't waste your natural advantage. You are foreign and therefore exotic, this is a turn-on for many girls. Work really hard on your appearance and infrastructure then approach girls to ask for assistance with small things that are different from home.

You get instant compliance and then, of course, you buy her a coffee as a thank you ... instant date.

You will be fine.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Pryam-

+1 to what Dud said. Advice on asking for help and buying a coffee as thanks is gold. You may even find some girls will take you around and go into full tour guide mode.

As prep work, get your fundamentals as much in order as you can. Lift weights, get cool clothes, improve your posture, eye contact, smile better, get sexy. Work on your general sociability in your home country too.

The only thing to 'Americanize' is if you come from a more passive / less sociable society. If you're from a place where men are physically and socially dominant, you'll be fine. It's always fine to be a little more aggressive than the locals when you're in a foreign country; the locals can't get away with it as well, but you can, because "he's foreign and that's just how they do things in his country." If you're from a place like India or East Asia where there's not a lot of touch, for instance, I suggest you practice being more physically aggressive with women in the meantime. Not so much to Americanize (a lot of American men are nervous to touch girls too), but more to take advantage of the foreigner bonus and be able to get away with stuff local men will need to be smoother and more calibrated than you do to pull off.

Chase

Sz's picture

1. For the places you don't recommend to go to alone. Are there any specific strategies we should do to not look like we're weird for being alone?

2. You said malls are a no go, but if I remember correctly, I think you said the stores in them were ok? Whats the difference?

3. Does age matter when you're alone at the places you said not to go solo? It seems to me girls will look at you weird if you are alone and an older man.

4. Dive bars and longues, I have never been to one or seen one, when I look them up on google for my area, they really don't seem like the ones I see in the images. So I don't know if my area even has them. Plus I'm black, what would I look like going into these places? I'll look so odd.

Could you tell me how I can tell if I spot is a dive bar or maybe show me pics?

Should I even go as a black man?

Thanks!

Dud's picture

If you're uncomfortable or feel out of place you will do badly at anything you try, not just pickup. By all means go to such places to find whether you like them, if so, once you're used to them, begin approaching but you will do better elsewhere in the meanwhile.

Everyone has to eat so you will look perfectly natural food shopping, get used to buying just one day's food at a time and rotate the stores you use, Supermarket pickup, done unobtrusively, is an easy start.

Pretty soon you'll branch out.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

No, no specific strategies, aside from maybe posting up every now and then so you aren't constantly circling like a shark (if you're going through the same areas repeatedly). Like Dud said - you'll get used to it.

I didn't say malls were a no-go, I said you can risk the weird factor more if you go alone. Stores are fine if you're not going too crazy in them, sure. Main thing I was thinking of is guys who circle around and around the halls of the malls doing street stops on women in the hallway (lots of new/uncalibrated guys do this... the "I got banned from XYZ mall" stories are almost exclusively new, not very socially savvy guys doing this).

#3 - no.

#4 - a black guy in a dive bar instantly stands out. Women assume he must be one of those rare black guys who is "just like me!" A black guy in a lounge... depends on the lounge. Can be a similar effect to the "only black guy in the dive bar" effect. But some lounges have large amounts of black patrons (in which case, you will be "just another black patron"). So it depends on the place.

As to the dive bar question:

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&q=dive+bar&oq=dive+bar

Chase

SZ's picture

1. "I don't know your situation well enough to give you good advice."

Basically to some it all up, I suck very much in math, you said you're mediocre and had a hard time passing calculus? What chance do I have ? I'm telling you in way worse than you could imagine.

Basically I'm tryna get a degree while avoiding math, but I don't know your thoughts on that.

I looked at the degree you said you had, it said calculus like you said and all of the other majors seem to have it as well.

I looked at a problem, and it looked like alien language, I can't flunk out of that class because that would be a waste of time and make my gpa bad and I would probably just drop out.

I don't know if business counts as stem or a major you recommend, but it seems that you could do multiple things with it compared to stem.

I wish I knew this a long time ago.

I'm not being negative, I'm being honest, let's just pretend math isn't even in the equation because of how bad I am in it.

The other part of my situation is pretty much, what can I learn and do while in school to have a high paying career, and what if I drop out with no degree?

If it's not stem or busineess, I have no idea what degree I could get that will help me at least a little.

What would my backup plan be? I always remember you said to have a plan b, but I don't know what would be the right course of action.

I would like your opinion on what would you do in my position? If you were that terrible in math, would you drop out college and do a trade right away or would you start a business? Would you just get your degree in something that doesn't involve math and just do a trade or your own business?

I just want your thoughts

What you told me what you would tell your 18 year old self was good advice.

I want a degree, even if it's not stem, I still want one, are there any other degrees that are at least decent for getting a good job while I work on my business and skills after college?

2. My biggest issue is getting the "college is the only way out if my mind" even when working on skills, I worry if that's enough, my mind is so wrapped around what I have heard from everyone, it makes me doubt myself so much. It makes me want to quit everything because it just seems like that's what everyone feels is the only path, I hate this.

3. I want to do copywriting too and have that skill as well as programing, I don't think you'd recommend to work on both, but do you think I would learn copy faster than programing since it's just writing and I heard that there is math in coding.

Where should I look up how to learn copy ?

I would like to learn both, but I'd like your opinion on which would be more beneficial to me.

4. You said in a comment that a woman will look not marry an older man because he will be very old when the child is in high school and society will look down on her, but I'm another comment you told me not to worry about children because I'm a man and have time. And that older men setter with women more of their age, but older women can't have kids like younger ones, and I believed you said to have children with younger women too, so I'm a little lost.

Now, I may be mistaken, maybe I missed an age range, maybe you meant if the gap is too big that she won't have kids with an older man, could you please clarify what you meant?

5. We talked about making a business, the only business I can think about making is an online business and I don't think I can work and learn it anywhere as a job? I knew what you meant about working at a job and learning how to make a business from that, but I have no clue what real motor and brick business I would make, let alone what field of work I would be doing at all to make a business in.

So yeah, I'm kinda lost on the reply you gave me about making my own business, I want a low start up online business, like a blog or something. I have no idea on what field I would work in and make a business out of that?

You got any suggestions?

6. What would your other minor be?

7.i want to get a trade and online skills (copy, programming, bookkeeping, etc.) and a degree, is it worth it to do all three? Will it take too much time?

Thanks

I want to level myself up!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

You know everything I know about degrees. I know no more. You will have to do your own research. Use a search engine. Try typing "best degree to make money without math" and see what you learn.

#2 - not sure what to tell you man. That's not an area I have any expertise working with people on. Check out some make money sites, they should be able to guide you better.

#3 - do everything on this page.

#4 - I was discussing first impressions. Remember a basic premise of Girls Chase: be sexy and remove yourself from boyfriend contention for the easiest path to sex. The easiest path to becoming her boyfriend or husband is to have sex. To put it in a Zen-like way: the easiest way to get her to be your wife is to first get her to first think you will never be her husband.

#5 - sorry, I do not.

#6 - I'd research it and pick a worthwhile one.

#7 - so you're going to go to trade school, then college? Or college, then trade school? Not sure why you would do both. Or get a college degree in a trade, like electrical engineering. You're only going to be doing one institutional education. Then teach yourself another skill on the side.

Chase

jdog93's picture

Hey Chase,

This is something I had talked briefly with Alek about in the comments section on a different article but I wanted to get your recommendations as well given he doesn't have much experience gaming in the States. Given the places you've gamed here in the U.S. what are examples of some of your favorite venues? If you could leave brief descriptions as to why they're your favorite then that would be appreciated as well.

In my town I noticed there are only about two venues that seem okay for meeting women at night but there isn't much movement in the venues because everyone is so packed in. If you could briefly talk about the nuances of optimal flow and movement in a venue then that would be great as well. Still trying to figure out what optimal venue selection even looks like.

Thanks,
Justin

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Justin-

I'm a big fan of transit, especially trains/subway. This is mostly only good in big East Coast cities in the U.S. that have mass transit systems. Not as applicable on the West Coast, or in the middle or in smaller cities / suburbs. Also quite like meeting girls on sidestreets off a main shopping street, as well as on streets that go by parks / fountains. Both areas tend to be fairly optimal for daytime for me. Meeting girls on street corners while you wait for the light to change is another favorite - not as flexible as street stops (no guarantee you'll end up with a cute girl waiting for the light to change), but easy when it's available.

I think your comment's primarily about nightlife, so here's some nuance on that. My favorite types of venues, in order, are:

  1. Multi-story house music nightclubs with narrow layouts and ample non-VIP seatings (i.e., couches anybody can use). Can't always find a place like this in every city, but when I can, it immediately becomes my favorite venue in town. Usually these places are quasi-gay bars, where maybe 25-50% of the men in attendance are gay... but there are just as many women, or sometimes more women than men, and those women are all straight (or bi) and often looking to hook up

  2. Small out-of-the-way electronic music lounges. Doesn't matter what the crowd is like or how packed it gets so long as a few cute girls show up. If it's out of the way (i.e., not in downtown), the guys present usually don't approach women much or at all (whether because they're gay, low sex drive, or don't know how / are too scared to), which means virtually no competition for the handful of cute girls present. I find places like these much easier to pull one-night stands with pretty girls out of on average than much larger venues with much larger numbers of attractive women, but who are being competed for much more ferociously and consequently are both more guarded and have their standards rocketed sky high

  3. Larger house music nightclubs with a more open floor plan, but which still have multiple stories and ample-enough seating

  4. Wine bars somewhat out of the downtown area. Close enough that they still attract a good chunk of attractive women. Far enough that they're out of party central, where women go to get crazy and not necessarily to get laid

  5. Dive bars that reach about 60-70% capacity and have enough cute girls in them. These places aren't as good for me as the ones above, but can still serve okay, and I enjoy being in them

I talk about nightclubs and lounges much more in these two articles:

I talk about post-up spots (which covers some flow and movement) in this post:

For a bit more detail on movement/flow... it depends on what you want to use the venue for. If you intend to be opening girls, chatting briefly, moving on, then reopening girls later, you want venues without too much flow, generally. You want girls to still be in the venue. If a girl is in another part of the venue, these can often be the best places to reconnect with her, at least for me. If you met her seated in a booth earlier, then run into her out in the smoking area later, you're much more likely to find her a lot more warmed up to you than if you find her still in the booth later. There are a few likely reasons I think why this is... maybe I'll do an article on flow/movement at some point and get into that. Might be interesting.

If you want to run through lots of girls and see lots of fresh faces, you want a much higher turnover venue - these venues tend to have much faster flow through (in general, the faster people are flowing through a venue, the shorter a time they will stay there on average, and the more new people are typically pouring in).

On the other hand, if you want to run sniper game and just pick off girls opportunistically, that often works best in low/no flow venues, where the crowd that's there by 11:30 is mostly still the same crowd there at 1:30 or 2:30 (minus whoever's filtered out by then). This is best for a much calmer environment, where the girl will get the chance to see you over the course of a few hours, notice you chatting to other people, or just looking sexy, and already be happy to meet you when you meet her. Or else she can move over close to you and give you an approach invitation when she's ready for you to approach.

The best thing to do with packed venues like what you're dealing with in my experience is to get there early and meet as many people as you can early on. Meet guys and unattractive girls and be friendly with them to socialize with them easier later. And meet cute girls to plant the seed of you and them talking more throughout the night. As the venue gets more packed people become more defensive and groupish, which works to your advantage with anyone you met earlier when they were more open. You are part of the small group of people she considers "her group", with everyone else on the outside (including random suitor males) as "outsiders" she is mostly closed off to. The end of the night can also be a very good time for these venues - I have had very packed venues (college bars, etc.) I've found are good for picking up girls who are still hanging around and want to find someone to go home with / go to an after party with once the main crowd starts filtering out.

Anyway. I may do an article on flow/movement. But those are the big points, just off the top of my head. Hope that helps some!

Chase

jdog93's picture

This is all great information. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. For the five types of nighttime venues that you listed, would it be possible to get specific venue examples here in the U.S.? Obviously, it's important to be able to find good venues on your own but I'd also be interested in trying out some of the specific places that you've actually been to.

-Justin

Anonymous 's picture

Chase,
Have you experienced being turned away from a venue because you are solo? Today I was turned away from two venues. I have visited both places before with a friend with no trouble. My dress today was decent. It was definitely because I was alone and for no other reason. The bouncers told me so.
This was at two decent bars with loud music in a large City in England.
I went out to approach solo and this hurt my vibe. I was wondering what your experiences are with this.

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