Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls | Page 5 | Girls Chase

Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls

Chase Amante

Hey! Chase Amante here.

You've read all the free articles I can offer you for this month.

If you'd like to read more, I've got to ask for your help keeping the lights on at Girls Chase.

Click a plan below to sign up now and get right back to reading. It's only 99¢ the first month.

Already a subscriber? Log in here.


can't stop thinking about herYou know that feeling. There's this girl you've been chasing forever. You positively, absolutely, can't stop thinking about her. She's the most amazing woman in the world -- you're certain of it. There's never been another one like her.

Her laughter sounds like the delicate tinkling of the finest crystal.

Her voice sounds like the music of the heavens.

The sight of her sets your heart pounding a thousand beats per minute.

You know that if you could just get her, you'd be happy forever and you would never want anything else ever again. Maybe you're not even certain if you believe in marriage or soul mates or "The One" -- but maybe you'd make an exception to all of that for her.

You'd do anything for her.

Well, as you well know by now, I'm not the type to hold punches, sugarcoat things, or sell you fairytales wrapped in gumdrops. So, this isn't per se a post on how to finally get that girl you can't stop thinking about.

Instead, this is a post about how you can wrest back control of your heart, mind, and dating life -- and how you can get yourself to a place where you're truly happy bringing actual women of quality into your life, instead of sitting there pining away for a vision (built more from your ideas of an idealized version of a flawless her than on her her actual self) of That One Special Girl.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Ola ojo's picture

Good stuff generally. I stumbled over this site yesterday and have read through many of the posts. For me, an effective strategy is daily personal development in all areas of life. If you were a little better than the man you were the previous day, a point will be reached were you are so advanced that you will just achieve results with ease.

Bob's picture

Think long and hard about those days she seemed to want you, before you blew it. Brainstorm what she might have found appearing about you. Then brainstorm about what changed her mind. Lastly brainstorm about how your obsession has changed you from being that person you were to the unattractive person you became. Now you know what you need to stop and start doing. And realize that getting a woman to see you for the person you were again will at the very least take a lot of time. And finally the most important thing is to stop thinking of her because it will only make the obsession worse.

Saurabh Pachpande's picture

Nicely written @Chase Amante .
I just wish that I read this some time ago . I've been going through the same problem you've mentioned and it's very well described . I'll look forward to apply the solutions you've written and get rid of the Obsession with her.

Khurahid's picture

Hi, i know a girl since 2 years and i had always poor response on her attention, suddenly i stoped talking with her because i was flirting with someone else, 3 months later, at one night i started thinking about that girl. From that night i always think about her, even i can not sleep well, although i am talking with that girl. Please help me because i can not focusing on my career.

Just turned 20's picture

This really is one of the best articles I've read in your website. Many guys can actually relate to it and that makes it special. Good work.
Just turned 20.

Sbjo's picture

Damn. I recognize myself literally in everything I read here. Had a 2 months friends with benefits relationship with a girl last year. We only got together on the weekends, and only while drunk (I was sober sometimes). And I rapidly started getting emotionally attatched to her. She just came out of a 4 year long relationship, and did not want to be tied down, and I was fully aware, but continued banging her even though I knew it was not good for me. Needless to say it ended badly, and I still cant stop thinking about her (Its been 1.5 years). I can see that I put her on a pedestol, like she is some kind of queen, but I cant stop it! Also, I live in a small town, and I meet her almost everytime im out drinking, (nightclubs, burger king, taxi queues, you name it) and it drives me crazy, and it prevents me from having fun with other girls (I have been with plenty of girls after her, including some very sick group sex sessions, and it helps, but only for a short period of time). FUCK MY LIFE I really hope for my own well-being that this shit blows over sometime :P

Chrisssssss's picture

Wow, Chase. 8 years. I'm grateful you wrote this because I feel I could've beaten you at this. Though my story is a bit different. I didn't give that special girl much attention at first because I already had a girlfriend, which ended badly. When that was over, she hinted me to try. Got together with her, it was amazing, talked, laughed, kissed. I felt.. happy.. truly, strong, nothing could stop me with her by my side. But she ended it suddenly which left me baffled and confused. All this in 2 weeks time. Now she's the last person I think of before going to sleep, stuck. Still trying to crawl out of this situation I'm in. Sometimes I feel I'm nearly there but the next day I slip and it's all over again. Wish me luck..

Francisco's picture

Chase, you are life saver. I had been obsessing over a girl for a good portion of the last 4 months. Thing is we were first coworkers who started hanging out! We were hot and heavy for the first three months and then it cooled off, and briefly picked up for a a couple months and stopped completely in the summer. She wouldn't make time and wouldn't reply to my text in a timely matter. I suspected she was seeing someone else and at the same time I was diagnosed with a serious medical condition so sent her a farewell message...I didn't she would respond. She did. She said "she was sorry, and cared for me, and would never leave me"..For a moment I was excited! But then when I asked her if she still reciprocated the same romantic feelings she stated "kind of" because she was dating someone else. This devastated me. Why would you even bother with such malarkey if your with another guy...She kept trying to still hang out and stay as friends(what's the point?) Despite the fact that she once told me she had a dream of us getting married! She doesn't want our friendship to end I'm sick of this roller coaster ride. After reading the comments on here: I have to move on. She's too complicated. I plan on meeting her for lunch on Thanksgiving to end it for good. I realized that there's plenty of fish in the pond! You have to put yourself out there. Heck, flirting with attractive nurses has helped me out tremendously because I'm a good lookingguy and can't wait to be healthy again to meet new women. Besides I can do a lot better than being with a bisexual, bipolar, alcoholic, atheist that's for sure.

Some guy's picture

Great Poste made me think

Anonymous's picture

There is a girl I work with that I have an obsession with. I am Africa American and she is Chinese. I have tried to at least be friends but she doesn't want it. To make matters worse, she is comfortable with all of my other colleagues except with me. I try not to think about her but I see her every day and every time I see an Asian girl I am reminded of her. The insidious voice in my head keeps telling me that a black man can never date an Asian. It drives me crazy.

Solomon's picture

Hello I am crazy about a girl and I don't know what to do!?

A couple of years ago I asked out this girl and she said "Sorry, maybe another time" I went to the same dance school as her and she was in my year at school, I thought we were so alike because we were both blonde, loved dancing and even had the same alergy. After over a year I asked her out again and she said "Sorry" then too. Her friends told me that I was her friend and that she didn't want to break the friendship. Soon after I left the dance school because of expenses and the only time I saw her was at school. It's now been 2 years since I asked her out and I'm getting 'the feeling' you described. Before I just liked her and now I am crazy about her, at the beginning of last year she had left my school but somehow even though I never see her I am still going mad. I can't stop thinking about her and I want it to stop. I don't know if I should ask her out for the last time to see if it'll help, I want to but I want to get toned first. Should I ask her out now or should I wait until I'm fitter? I thought that I could ask to meet her, pour our my heart and soul and see what happens. If not I seriously think I should see a psychiatrist.


penguinmonster's picture

There is no way you will ever. EVER get this girl.

Well, there is one way. But from your message,it seems you will never listen. But just in case you are not completely stupid: Here is the only way: Over the next 6 months, Date at least 2 girls that you like, i.e you enjoy their company. Work out fun things to do on dates, i.e whatever you are interested in. When you are not dating these 2 girls, spend your time working on your passion and work, whatever that is. After that 6 months, if you see that girl that you used to be obsessed about, tell her that you like her and you would like to take her on a date, but first she needs to loose some weight.

Sam Alexander's picture

I'm experiencing everything you said right now. This one girl in my sixth form, she is perfect. She's just everything I've ever wanted in another human being and I cannot see a single flaw in her, I even try to but it just doesn't work. As much as I want to take the advice of just forgetting about them and moving on, psychologically I just can't lose them. Even as a friend I still need her. She's (without even realising it that's the worst part) become such an important part of my life and I feel I at least need her to know how I feel before I can properly move on mentally. So much of this frustration I feel comes from how she sees me as just another person when I see her every day and we interact, to the point where it's like 'holy shit we get on so well' but she just has no idea. I need to tell her and I know I care about her enough to go for her (I've known her since the start of my school year September and so it's not even entirely hopeless) but it's just so annoying being fixated on her. I need to try going for other girls and I will do but part of me also realises if I was to pull and get into a relationship, I'd probably actually fuck it over just for a chance with this one girl. That's what she does to me.

DanTheMan's picture

I myself HAVE a gf (a great ONE that Ive known of for 27 years!!), BUT!!!...theres this ONE that Ive known of for longer (32 years) and shes ALWAYS been my "fantasy blonde". Problem is, I have a gf (darker hair) who is who I SHOULD BE with, but I wanna be WITH the "fantasy blonde". I guess I have to choose colors of hair or hometowns as one is "Ms. State College" and THE ONE I want is "Ms. Bellefonte". LOL!!... think itll all work out at some point and Ill realize that I need to move on without the "fantasy blonde" and just love THE ONE Im with. but its HARD when all I think about is the "fantasy blonde" who knows I fantasize about HER!!! LOL!! thanks... - DTM

Maxy Choo's picture

So basically,I’ve liked this girl since I was 9, and this year I would be 17.That means I liked(obsessed)this girl for the past 8 years,which is coincedentally the same as yours.I always thought of her as this special person,not like the others,so unique,so kind.Whenever I saw her smile,It was impossible to not smile too.However I didn’t even,couldn’t even try anything.Maybe the occasional small talk but that’s it,for years I was so confused and worried,wondering If I would ever get her attention or mean sth to her.But after reading this article,I realised,I was merely obsessed.You were right,as time passed,she became more and more valuable to me,like this thing I could never get over.But now you helped me see past this obsession,you helped me realised that hope isn’t what we should live on~and that we should just face reality and move on.Tonight,I was troubled and confused as ever,but after a quick Google search on “why do i like her so much”I chanced upon this and read everything it had to offer.Well it’s a good thing I understood earlier as I now have the time and mental capability to focus on my passion and daily life.Tonight,I feel like life has meaning again,Im finally gonna be able to sleep properly again.Thanks for your article,it has helped me so muchin one day,Im a much happier person now

T's picture

So what I can do is settle, like I did when I got my horrific ex wife. No thanks. I'd rather live like a monk at this older age point and never worry about another woman again, than have to settle on shitty average and sometimes psychotic women. Yeah, that's much better than never ending up with what you want. 

Diego's picture

Chase you are my hero. Thank you so much for this article and all the others. The things you say and the way you say them are simply incredible.

Ben's picture

This article is what first got me on your site back in 2013/14.
I disagree with some of your views on the world,
But I'm in a better place now mentally because of this post.
I wanted to say thank you so
Thank you Chase

Add new comment

The Latest from