"I'm Doing Everything to Succeed with Women but It's Still Not Working!" | Girls Chase

"I'm Doing Everything to Succeed with Women but It's Still Not Working!"

Chase Amante

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doing everything pickup seduction
If it feels like you're doing everything they told you you needed to do and it's still not working... you're probably not doing everything they told you you needed to do.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

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Comments

Neal's picture

Hey Chase, is it good to be blocked by women on social media such as Facebook?

-The more and more a girl into a guy, the more and more she wanna shit test, and that includes blocking.
-Some girls posts images of I wanna be with a man that msgs me after I block him (from a different account).

Probably the vast majority of relationships the girl has blocked the guy before.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Neal-

No, it is not a good thing to get blocked on Facebook.

The only time I see relationships where there is blocking involved comes after a breakup when the woman needs to dead-out the guy she used to date. Then sometimes months later wants to date him again.

I don't think I've ever heard of a girl blocking a guy, then later dating him for the first time. It's not how humans behave.

Chase

Neal's picture

Chase, but my analogy was more on the lines of continuosly spitting game to a woman and not asking her out. So then her blocking you, is after she feels you rejected her 1st as you putting her in the friendzone instead. Shrug.

SZ's picture

I will admit that a do not approach that many women consistently. I took the more laid back approach, but it still baffles me that I still didn't get more lucky at all.

One thing I wanted to comment on the article, don't you think it's a little harsh to say "burn victim ugly"? I mean that's a terrible thing to happen to someone compared to being just born ugly. Just wanted to point it out because some readers might take it the wrong way and it is kind of a harsh way to label someone after having that happen to them. Just a thought.

I never knew that 40-50 approaches a week was required for nightclub game, wow!!

Idk if I even seen 20 women I wanted to talk to in a club compared to 40-50. Guess I'll lower my standards.

But yeah, I gotta do a lot more approaches and take it more seriously like this is a job, it's just hard to do when I have so many other things to worry about, it makes it hard to not think of getting girls as a hobby.

I wonder do most guys with high notch counts who dont read material have to go though all of this? Do they really talk to all these women a week consistently?

I'm making focus on talking to more girls though.

Thanks 

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

I will admit that a do not approach that many women consistently. I took the more laid back approach, but it still baffles me that I still didn't get more lucky at all.

From what you've said, it sounds like you do.

What I can gather is the average guy, who hasn't done much approaching or worked a lot on his skills, "gets lucky" about once every 6 months to two years. If you get lucky anywhere in that range, you're within the normal dude "getting lucky" range.

If you want more often than that, you need to approach a lot more than normal guys do.

One thing I wanted to comment on the article, don't you think it's a little harsh to say "burn victim ugly"? I mean that's a terrible thing to happen to someone compared to being just born ugly. Just wanted to point it out because some readers might take it the wrong way and it is kind of a harsh way to label someone after having that happen to them. Just a thought.

I was using over-the-top extreme examples: retard-tier intelligent, sewer-dwelling broke, etc.

I mean, if a retarded guy, a burn victim, or a sewer dweller read the article and take offense, I'd probably feel a little bad. Not trying to rag on our retarded, burn victim, sewer dweller readers here.

But yeah, I realize America's turned into this total milquetoast vanilla "can't make fun of anything, that's triggering!" thing, but I don't think you can be a man without thickening your skin up a little. So that is something we'll do here a bit.

I never knew that 40-50 approaches a week was required for nightclub game, wow!!

Idk if I even seen 20 women I wanted to talk to in a club compared to 40-50. Guess I'll lower my standards.

If you're going out 4 nights a week, which I recommend for guys who want to learn fast, that is only 10 women a night.

Which is actually below my recommendation if you're doing mass approach game. My recommendation is you're doing mass approach is 12 approaches minimum per outing. Ideally, shoot for 15. Just because it has been my general experience that about 1 out of 12 girls you'll meet will be one you'll like a lot who likes you a lot too. To find her, you need to put the approaches in.

But yeah, if you're going out as often as recommended, it isn't much, once you've ramped yourself up to being comfortable approaching. When you're still working on approach anxiety, of course, don't worry about raw numbers, and just focus on getting yourself to approach.

Chase

Bizzy's picture

I am sure most men fail at No.1 already, which is no surprize to me at all. I don't know many men who even approache more than say 5 women a week, if at all. I guess there are different reasons for it. Some have to deal with anxiety, lack of drive or just not feel good about it at all. What many men and expecially women don't realize is that men have fear of rejection too. Older men from the past have never been taught game or pick up because they never had to use it. So why does society expect men to do the approaching when they never have in the frst place? Your dad and your grandfather and his dad and his grandfather, they never had to approach women, they just got introduced to women and got married. Men fear rejection the same way women do, there is no difference to how women feel about rejection but women don't accept this simple truth. A male lion doesn't approach any of his lionesses, yet he still gets some action because they want to mate with him.

But I have a question: have you ever done an article about how to get sex the fastest way, without doing dates, online dating, chatting and all that stuff? I mean like, only cold approach a woman and then having sex immediately?! I used to do this in my early 20s and was actually successful a few times, but now I am older and don't feel like approaching 100 women to get a few lays. I want to approach just a few women that I think I have a shot with and then close the deal. I am just lazy now, I am sick of dating, talking, pretending and all that. Women notice me, they smile and look at me but I really don't like to take them out on dates, I just would like to take them home and have fun, like when I see a hot girl in a store.

Jamar Murray's picture

I agree. Dating is a fucking grind!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Bizzy-

Just answered your comment with an article -- you can find it here:

How to Get Fast Sex and Pick Up Girls Quick

Chase

Lossanzo's picture

Hey Chase

I finally started approaching girls this month of August, so far only street stops during the day and there's something that's been puzzling me.

When I stop and open girls I like on the street with a direct compliment, a lot of them smile and seem flattered after I deliver it, but then they just say "thank you" smiling and begin moving again. This has happened a lot, in fact, it is the most common response to me. A few just say "Ok" or "Ok, thanks", don't smile and resume walking. Some of them actually stay put and give me the time to introduce myself and ask a question and after that it has been very consistent that I get their phone number after a bit of small talk.

One of them, which was very beautiful, after I gave the compliment started playing with her hair, smiling and asked me "is that all?", I introduced myself and she said "it's a pleasure" then started moving again. All the others didn't ask anything. If I ask them anything or introduce myself after they resumed walking they just say "thank you" again.

Should I do something differently or is this simply that they are not interested?

Also, so far I've only had conversations (by that I mean have at least a bit of small talk) with 5 women out of the 18 I've approached during the month of August, 4 of them gave me their phone number and the one that didn't was probably because I didn't ask, looking back at it. When you say 20 approaches per week you mean with conversations? 20 approaches per week like the ones I'm doing(no conversations on most of them) seems kind of doable but would you see that as enough for me to be improving at an ok speed?

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lossanzo-

Awesome job putting it out there! It takes some steel to go direct during daytime... most guys will never try it. Can work very, very well though.

When you use a direct opener, it's sudden and women don't necessarily know how to respond to it. Because of this it's very important that you keep things moving after the opener. The bare minimum is direct opener --> introduction, like: "Excuse me, I saw you walking here, and I just had to come tell you you have the most incredible walk I've seen all day. I'm Lossanzo." Then take her hand (handclasp, ideally).

After that you need to be able to jump right into directing the conversation. You should be able to run the first 2 minutes at least completely on your own. Make statements about her, ask questions, share (very brief) anecdotes about yourself. You're the one making the approach; you need to lead the conversation. You should plan on women not being in a social mindset when you approach and you having to help them get there by leading them to it.

So -- it's impossible to tell here which of those girls might've liked you and which didn't. It's very possible some did, but... it's awkward when someone comes up, compliments you, then waits. Most people will say thanks and excuse themselves. You don't want her to even have a chance to say thanks; compliment her, then introduce yourself, and begin the conversation. That way you'll keep things moving and you'll have a chance to go a little further with her.

Chase

JP's picture

I loved reading this one! This article literally sums up all the best advice I have received since I came across this site in 2010!

#1 is so true as it's all about the numbers game. I like to treat dating and meeting women like a marketing funnel. Your initial job is to get as many girls in this funnel via phone numbers and dates as you possibly can, and unless you have absolutely no game you are undoubtedly going to get some girls in bed at the bottom of the funnel. Your conversion rate might not be the best to start with, but the more your improve yourself, your game, and your physique (this was the number one game changer for me) the more likely you are to improve your conversion! However, the initial process of filling up your funnel doesn’t change!

#2 Is great advice, and when I finally understood this it saved me so much stress and headache! I am admittedly not great at day game, and although it is something I never committed to improving at, I always had the comfort of knowing that I could rely on my bar/club & online game to get me more than enough women on a regular basis. As a guy in shape I found these realms were easy for me. You can post a hot pic online or wear sexy clothing on a night out and it's easy. Alternatively you might use your intelligence and conversational skills to get girls in the day or at a networking event but this was not my forte, and I’m happy I understood and accepted this fairly quickly! 

#3 is gold and the key mindset which changed everything for me was "one girl, one vote". It saved me so much stress and made me handle any rejection like water off a duck's back. If any girl was acting flaky, or playing games I would drop them straight away as I knew the next girl would likely be a more suitable match for what I was looking for. This approach also allowed me to move faster and capitalise on more opportunities as once I had this attitude I really realised the abundant amount of new beautiful women I could meet every day.

Thanks for the great article, lots of key lessons here!!

 

Joshua Palmer - Personal Trainer, Fitness Competitor & Online Coach!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

JP-

This is a great comment! A lot of great details in here. Yeah, a full funnel is going to push some girls through, even if you stil need a lot of work. Awesome what a game-changer physique was for you (and nice going getting yourself built). You seem to have a good grasp of your own strengths and limitations.

I like the "one girl, one vote" mindset -- that's neat!

Chase

alvarrc's picture

Hey Chase, great content as always, everyday I learn something new :)

My questions is, how you handle last minute resistance with a girl?? what can I say or do when she says something like it's to soon for us to have sex, I'm not that kind of girl, etc.

Regards

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