Your Beliefs Aren't Real | Girls Chase

Your Beliefs Aren't Real

Chase Amante

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I recently had dinner with a group of friends. Among this group was a young Mormon couple, the male of whom was a former missionary. He was one of those cool religious guys you meet, with a clear sense of purpose, and a fire behind his eyes that told you he knew who he was and what he stood for and what he was meant to do in this world. We had some good conversation about life, travel, and business.

After we parted ways from them, the girl I was with asked me how people can find purpose in religion. "Well," I said, "for him, from his point of view and what he believes, he knows with absolute confidence and certainty that if he spreads the Word of God and brings more people to the faith, and if he leads a good life and does what he's supposed to and avoids temptation and sin, when all's said and done and his time on this planet is past, he'll ascend to heaven and he'll be buddies with God and will be at peace for the rest of eternity."

My girl looked at me quizzically. "How can anybody believe that?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

beliefs aren't real

"Because some people told them about it, and they thought it sounded reasonable, so they believed it," I replied.

"That's not a good reason!" she said.

"Well, let me ask you something," I said. "You believe in evolution, right? That people come from monkeys, which come from rats, which come from fish... all that?"

"Yes," she said.

"Okay," I continued. "Have you studied evolution in a laboratory environment yourself and seen the evidence up close to make sure it's real?"

"No," she said.

"Well," I said, "have you ever actually seen evolution happen?"

She paused a moment, realizing where I was going with this. "No," she said.

"Then how do you know evolution actually happens?" I asked. She didn't answer. "It's because people told you it does, and it sounded reasonable to you, and you believed it... isn't it?"

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Zac's picture

"The people who get the jobs they want, the businesses they want, the lifestyles they want, and the partners they want aren't the ones living in a dream world.

They're the ones who know the ins and outs of operating in THIS world - and have relentlessly focused on training their intuition to match up with what's actually useful, and what actually works"

You are right. I been looking at your studies and the fundamentals, not breaking circle, be warmth to others, and yada yada. I watch videos of successful people interacting, Musicians, performers do their thing and how they transit with one another when they in a group. How beautiful women knows to put guys she is not interested at arm's length, and not get into messy situations. How the Rich use money from banks to pay money borrowed and cover themselves and not pay the whole amount of money so that their cashflow in hand is relatively high and use it for something else.

Amazing, your article. although i disagree with you on the human evolution. Afterall, it's all beliefs, and we all have our own. :) I am sure with your wealth of experience, you are smiling retardedly at people with negative comments that has no valid objective in hand. and yea, "People will be glad to tell you that they are right". I hate that. Haha!

Bruce Lee had a philosophy, "Honestly expressing the human body", and the word "Honest" means having an objective you want, and just click into place, although he pointed out it's hard because you want to be cocky and putting on a show.

It's funny, the successful people, are those who honestly express themselves. MEaning, have an objective, and BE it.


Jeff's picture

Can you link me to those videos? I am very interested.


JGchowda's picture

Can you link me to those videos of the smooth transitions in groups? thanks

Chase Amante's picture


Indeed. Learn your stuff... know how to get what you want. The end result of all that is beauty - there's nothing more awe-inspiring than watching someone who's good at something do what he or she does best, whether that's piano or dance or kung-fu or negotiation.


phelwan's picture

Thanks for helping realize what it is to be a man. If you're not moving fast, you're moving slow. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast, fast is sexy!


Chase Amante's picture


Sounds like you have a deeper understanding of this stuff than I do ;)


Anonymous's picture

What are some mindsets and ways to be sexier and more attractive in general without doing specific gamey moves like opening from a certain angle or something. I am a high schooler looking not to pick up women but to become a sexy attractive man pursued by the best looking girls in my school. I have read "How to be a Sexy Man," and it seemed incomplete to me, the concepts sort of unfinished. I also looked to "How to have a Sexy Vibe" and that was really vague. What are some mindsets and certain physical characteristics or mannerisms that are distinctly sexy? And can you do a new post sort of like the sexy man and sexy vibe ones?
Your articles are amazing!

Cap's picture

In short, I arrived at this site while searching for tricks of the trade as it were for going about choosing a female partner - I only want one, but the goal is to wade through the steady stream of prospects while I pan for gold.

I have been studying management at school, and did a google for "relationship dynamics" and the psychology presented here in a manner of not taking advantage of people is impressive; it is also aplicable to daily business encounters, and I think would be useful for guiding younger colleagues achieve their Greatest Inner Possibility.

Anyways, I just wanted to write an appreciative, "thank you," as the personal guidance I have been waxing with folks has to do with the fact there were two cute (and silly, ha, ha) females I had my eye on while I went about my business during the school year. I made up my mind to meet them both last term, and accomplished that - early - only to find out they were "sisters" (or tight, anyways).

So then I had to be cool while flirting with them both, sometimes at the same time and in front of each other, while making it clear that I was only interested in meeting them for the purposes of deciding which one I wanted to eventually get to know better ( I know I took a risk in possibly not being able to choose either, but remember, my goal is long-term, so any short-term nonsense is all that much more evidence for supporting my decision).

I have since made it obvious who I am interested in, and I am good with the uncertainty that my choice may or may not pan out, the one who I didn't chose, though, even though that is certain I haven't chosen her, she got real bitter, real fast; I think she either may have gotten jealous and thought I was trying to make her jealous ( which I am not that type - unnecessary drama is, well, unnecessary,) or she simply resents not being in control anymore since I was careful to test the waters and reveal some vulnerabilities.

Well, Dirty Harry said "A man's got to know his limitations," and I feel great having stepped up to the plate and found out how far I may be able to get with this goal and this main care though has been that the most important relationship is between those two...

I may have to be prepared for the day when framing how the one is going to have to finally decide, however, because this other bitter control freak may necessitate me having to be choosing more abundance.


Chase Amante's picture


Yes, nothing more potentially destructive to your cause than a woman scorned who has sway over other important people in your life. In this case, you have a bitter woman who hates your guts and is very close to the girl you like... the end result here is that you've become a potential wedge; if the girl you like dates you, she gives up her friendship with her bestie.

In school, this scenario is actually pretty common; the saying is, when girls enter university as freshmen, they're all best friends and travel around in gigantic packs of laughing / giggling / posing gals. Within a year or two though, all of them hate each others guts and no longer talk to each other. A lot of the cause for that is girls wanting guys that other girls end up with, or snag away from them.

I'd recommend finding a way to make peace with that girl who's bitter toward you, rather than make your girl choose between either rejecting you and keeping her friend, or accepting you and alienating her friend... a double date with your girl and her where you bring along a really cool and sexy guy friend to meet the girl who hates you can sometimes go a fair bit of the way in mending the fence. She's bitter for being deprived a boyfriend / mating opportunity - bring her something that seems to be even better than you, and then she can gloat to herself about how she's the one who got the last laugh, because now she has the superior option.


Funman's picture

Hey Chase,

1) What is your opinion on Law of Attraction/ The Secret etc in achieving goals?
Personally it has helped me stay focused on my diet and I have lost six pounds so far.

2) How can I apply Law of attraction principle if I want to become a rock-star salesperson and make more money?
(waiting for your salesman article, I am assuming more of your readers would be in the sales profession :) )

3) What are your views about Law of attraction in seduction. What are your views on quotes like "men who love women are loved by women" ?


Chase Amante's picture


I talked a bit about my thoughts on this before here: How to Visualize: 5 Steps to Massive Success.

Basically, I can't rule out there being some way of manipulating spacetime / causality with intense focus - look up research on the Ganzfeld effect if you want fairly strong evidence of well-conducted studies on telepathy that there doesn't seem to be an effective refutation of, or read up on some of the weird things that go on with particles at the quantum mechanical level. But, to-date, there's no convincing, unequivocal evidence of this stuff, and a lot of what's put out there as "evidence" ends up being shown to be charlatanism, or at least poorly conducted research.

What DOES definitely seem to happen though is that as you focus on something, you train your mind to become more attuned to opportunities for it, to spot it, to figure out ways to get it. It's like buying a new car and suddenly starting to notice that there are cars like yours all over the highway everyday when you drive to work. They were always there... you just never noticed before, because you weren't looking.

As far as men who love women are loved by women... it's absolutely true, but it's because of how those men interact with women and interpret women's behavior. For instance, when I was less skilled with women and less empathetic toward them, women behaving "badly" was make me annoyed or angry, and those women would not like me either; as I got more and more familiar with women and became more and more comfortable with them, I viewed more and more behaviors as cute and silly, and women began to pick up on this warmth toward them and understanding of them, and viewed it as a sign of preselection (obviously I must be pretty comfortable with women and do pretty well with them) and of a stable emotional profile (which in itself is attractive... how many men lack this?).


Anonymous's picture

Have you seen the film Crazy Stupid Love?
Ryan Goslings character is how I imagined you to be. It is scary, it's like he had read this site before shooting.
What ways are what he does in the film similar to what you do?
Are there any mistakes or things you would do differently?
I noticed that he built somewhat of a niche for himself and may want to go beyond that, but then again it also shows him picking up women in the mall.

Chase Amante's picture


Haven't seen it, no. In real life, most guys do develop rather specialized niches (and often end up settling down with the one girl they finally end up meeting OUTSIDE their niche... go figure. Scarcity, abundance, etc.).

Other than that, I can't say... though if I ever see it, I'll try and post thoughts sometime!


BBJW's picture

Hey Chase,

Fascinating article, especially because I find myself in these types of arguments/debates a lot!

Anyway, I just asked out a girl for the first time and she said yes! Thank you so much for all of your articles and comment responses! You have really good customer service! I just wanted to thank you, because without all of the advice you have given, and amazing articles you have written, I don't think I would have had the courage!

Thanks again!,

Chase Amante's picture


Thrilled to hear it - and way to go on asking out that first girl and getting a "yes"! Nothing like hitting the ground running on your first attempt... and it only gets better from here.


Danny's picture

Hey Chase,

I am wondering are u a phD in Psychology?
Initially, I just read your blogs and bought your ebook for the sake of pickup women. But I gradually noticed learning pickup help me a great deal in my career/job environment too.....

For example, recognizing "Indicators of Interest" from women is the same as recognizing IOI from your coworker or boss etc...

So are u a Psy major? (When u were my age)

Chase Amante's picture


Nope, I'm strictly an armchair / field pseudo-psychologist, not academically trained by any stretch of the imagination. I don't recall even taking one psychology course in college, in fact. I like studying psychological literature and prefer to see if what I've found anecdotally is backed up by the research, but it isn't always possible.

But certainly - all we're doing here is studying how people interact, how they think, how they feel, and how they make decisions - not too much difference between how a woman behaves around a man she's interested (or not) in, and how people behave in a myriad of other situations with other kinds of people with only slightly altered social objectives and dynamics. I, for one, don't have the paper credentials to go along with it, though.


blue99's picture

and this is why I keep reading your material
... keep up the great work!

Israel Dudley's picture

Chase, hey! I've been following your work for awhile, since the beginning of this year, & ever since the first day I've started reading your articles, my life has been improving in many different areas. I am unable to afford the monthly membership right now (For good reasons, such as just moved into a nice condo, pursuing dreams of leaving my 9-5 to become a professional speaker/writer/coach, and other good stuff) but I just wanted to say thank you for all of your hard work. As a blogger/writer myself, I can sense in your articles the amount of work, research, and passion you put into each one, and I am deeply grateful for it. Please continue to leave the option to view 10 free articles per month open, and you have my promise that as soon as my financial dreams take off, I will become a member that gives to you in return what you have willingly given to us. Thank you!!!

P.S: I threw a beach party last Saturday with a bunch of friends, and had 4 ladies challenging each other throughout the night for me, and I did almost nothing on my part. It was completely effortless and natural. Thanks for helping me with my bachelor life, and also my professional life. I wish you the best...

the king of Australia's picture

How can you disbelieve what was observed from bones and animals in a field where nature was studied, i.e. evolution, without any proof that it's not real? Like all sciences it's not just words, it's observation and experiment (as most sciences are). Therefore we don't believe in evolution simply "from what we're told and sounds reasonable", but from evidence. A sceptic will convince you of evolution, Christianity hates science, it lies, and it won't admit it's wrong. And no, I'm not a Christian, I have no "faith" in anything, I believe things based on experience, based on what really happens and based objectively on what's there, not seen with the mind's eye, this is a belief I took up, it's called Reality, reality is physically real, a person sitting down isn't a big and important act, or an idiot, or evil, nor is one leaving an arsehole, it's just a person sitting down or leaving. If you think the world is as evil as your mind sees it try telling that to a sceptic who will debunk every negative thing you say, unless the sceptic is a pessimist, in which case he's overwhelmed by evil, it's just that nothing is as evil as it seems, evil is subjective and seen with the mind's eye, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, there have in history been evil politicians, it's objective, there's nothing illusory about it, the evil part isn't, it's the things they do, not the evil, that's objective, but you know how very important it is. Don't believe something without proof, the Christians know they're lying.

Chase Amante's picture

king of Aus...-

Outstanding! I presume you, then, are a genetic laboratory scientist? Or at least a technician or graduate student?

My assumption is you've spent time in a laboratory evolving bacteria yourself (and you're going to need a fast-breeding species to see evolution in action in any reasonable time scales).

Or perhaps you've spent a lifetime observing gene flow among the DNA of an island population under active selection pressures.

Had you done one of these things, you would have directly witnessed evolution in action. You could have even created preconditions for it yourself in the laboratory (by changing the environment and altering selection pressures). You would know, via direct experience, rather than by faith alone, that evolution is physical reality.

Had you not done these things, of course, you would have not directly observed evolution in action. You would have not done the research. You would still believe it, because other people told you it, and enough of them said it and their arguments made enough sense to you based on your understanding of the world that you took it on good faith. This despite your lack of any actual firsthand observation and experimentation.

Because it doesn't matter if you're a materialist atheist. Anything you have not directly experienced firsthand yourself is you trusting and believing the word of someone else.

The word we use for that in the English lexicon is 'faith'.

For the record, I picked evolution as an example there because it's so obviously well evidenced I didn't realize there were still people seriously arguing it. But I suppose any time you mention something like this, you're liable to attract silly creationists who want to argue absolute Biblical truth, and equally silly atheists who want to argue absolute material truth, neither of a high enough level of awareness to realize arguing you know something with certainty that you have not directly experienced makes you look overly sure of yourself to anyone hewing even remotely to an empirical model.


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