Meeting Women as a Younger Guy out of College | Girls Chase

Meeting Women as a Younger Guy out of College

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Varoon Rajah's picture

meeting women
Some guys in their early 20s who are out of college find it harder to meet girls, so they hit a sexual limbo and get frustrated. But fear not, you have many options!

I’m often asked by some of the younger folks who’ve met me and who have coached with me – how do you meet women when you are a younger guy after college?

It’s a great question that’s especially relevant if you’re in the lower 20s age range. This is an odd time for many men as it’s right after the conclusion of college and right at the start of independent adulthood.

Unlike women, whose sex appeal and sexual market value peak at around age 21-23 (then decline steadily afterward), mens’ options with women tend to increase with age and skill. And since women tend to look to date men who are older than them , more successful, and more sexually capable, this leaves some less-experienced men at this age feeling lost when it comes to having options.

Some guys may think they’re out of options after they’ve left college and that social scene. They even lament not being cool enough then or not being able to learn how to be cool later.

These are all incorrect ways of thinking. It’s never too early nor too late to learn game, and there’s no right age to game, date, and have sex with attractive women.

The truth is that the guys who start young and get good can stay good, grow more, and get even better as they get older. And guys who think they missed their opportunity to learn game and have success with women for the remainder of their lives – well, they just have it wrong, and their mentality is the only thing standing in their way.

Comments

Fardin's picture

Hey Varoon!

So actually I saw on the boards you have been to Hong Kong and pulled girls there.
I won a scholarship and gonna fly there for college in August this year XD
I wonder if you have any tips specific to HK?
I'll be a foreigner there (I'm a brown guy of Indian heritage)
Thanks!

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey Fardin,

Hong Kong is a great city! It feels like New York City on crack, with mostly Asian women of course. Hopefully you've got a thing for that look, because you'll find tons of Asian women in that city from Hong Kong, mainland China, Taiwan, South Korea, the Phillippines, Japan, Thailand, Vietnam, among other places. I also saw a lot of visiting Australians, as well as European and American transplants.

The two biggest game tips I can give from my very short five or six day stay in HK:

1. Chinese culture is very big on saving face. You have to closely screen Chinese girls for the meaning behind their communication with this in mind - whether in person, by text, or otherwise. Because of the culture of saving face, women will intentionally say things that to a western person mean "yes" or "let's move forward" that actually mean "no" and "i want you to decline, but I'm just being polite." I don't have any specific examples off the top of my head right now - it's something you'll have to learn from observation and experience. However, the signs of these are very, very subtle - meaning that sometimes a girl will say thing that mean no in the social frame when she really wants you to take the action and lead her to the next level; other times she'll say things that will save face in the social frame, but that she really doesn't want you to do. The problem happens when you don't heed that frame - it will annoy and irritate the girl, and she'll never want to see you or speak to you again if you violate saving face.

2. There are lots of Filipinas in Hong Kong who are working on visas as maids, house workers, etc. They all get Sundays off from work - and these girls thus all go out to the bars all day on Sundays into the night. I found that to crete an incredible atmosphere for pickup in the bars on Sundays - you walk into these bars where the ratio is like 9 women to 1-2 guys, and most of the guys suck at game. It can make for some very wild and fast encounters - I picked up a girl in about 15 minutes after spending 45minutes at a bar at 2pm in the afternoon, we went straight home and had sex.

Sound like it will be a fun time!!

Lawliet's picture

I come across advice like putting yourself out there or common activity many times.

I've tried all that. I put myself out there, talked with everyone I came across during the day, and tried different activity clubs, even activist clubs. If it is from a meet up group, people don't stick around in the meet up group. It's great for meeting new girls sure. But friends? Most people rather do group thing instead of one-on-one especially if it's another guy. Issue is people then start leaving meet up after getting their fill, and then you never see them again. It also doesn't feel like YOUR friends when the context always involve the club...the existing hierarchy. etc. 

I've met many people and like many have suggested, I did all of them. I was friendly, and chatty, and cared about learning more about this new friend. And we have a great time.

But when you hit them up after a week or so, they won't come out. They may not even text you back. But most of the time, they'll be busy. And after a few tries, it pretty much ends there for MAJORITY of people I meet.

I have made great friends and stayed in touch with few, but most were a dud that never stuck around.

It usually goes like this:

1. Meeting them

2. Having a great chat, common hobbies, beliefs, you name it, joking, fun time!

3. Exchange contact

4. Hit them up

5a. They come out

5b. They don't come out, try again later.

People who don't come out usually will say they're busy or they're meeting up with their own groups.

People who do come out usually will stick to a one-on-one basis, so every time you see them, you meet them one on one. Which can be fun. I had some good fun sports time with this set up. But imagine having 5 friends... that's 5 separate one-on-one hangout... it's time consuming.

A common issue from both outcomes is... these people don't invite you to their existing social circle. You become a separate entity to fit into their existing schedule, so their chances of squeezing extra time for you is low. They already have work, school, whatever. Even if they do meet you, it sticks with this one-on-one basis and you never expand your social circle neither do they invite you because there's this awkward "they don't know each other" hesitation I've noticed.

Best outcome: One-on-one, but meeting each friend to build the friendship on a one-on-one basis is tough on their schedule as well as yours. It doesn't last.

Worst outcome: Never hear them again

Painful outcome: When you finally click with someone, and they hangout with you a few times...then they move away to another country for work or study and you lose this friend...

At the end, we have to start doing group events and gathering these one-on-one basis and meshing them together.

But it's a lot of work and most of the time doesn't work due to schedule conflicts. Also, I don't have a house to host a party in, so that makes things more complicated. 

Thanks for reading,

Lawliet

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

If making lasting friendships is what you're trying to do, I've never seen that as being an easy task.

Long ago I was told that "friends are there for the good times," and more and more in my life this has held true. Friends are nice to have, and everyone needs a social life if they desire it - but it's also a fleeting desire, as very few friends will be those whom stick around for life - or even for the next year, and make time to see you.

That said, I've found the best friends to be those with whom you bond over some kind of activity you can do over again with them - whether a sport, or a hobby. At the very least it's something that will bring you two together.

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