Tactics Tuesdays: When It's Okay to Flip-Flop Around Girls | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: When It's Okay to Flip-Flop Around Girls

Chase Amante

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okay to flip-flop
Maybe you think you should never flip-flop. But flip-flopping has a time and place. Here’s how to use it well with women and on dates.

One of the major conversation topics we discuss on Girls Chase is frame control. If you’re unfamiliar with frame control, I have a trio of articles here that will serve as a decent introduction:

The essence of frame control is that you know what you stand for and you stick to your guns. If we can say this of a man, we can say he has a strong frame. Strong frames are attractive; they suck other people in and cause them to see the world as the frame-holder sees it.

Frame control is particularly important in dating. Women will test you and challenge you as they seek to find out what kind of man you really are. A great frame allows you to sidestep these tests, ace them, and beat them.

However, sometimes you may need to change your position. You may be better served by doing something else or adopting another stance that contradicts what you said or did earlier. Flexibility is vital to your dating success. If you’re too rigid about “I have to always be 100% consistent with what I said or did before”, you will pass up a lot of potential success with girls.

Today’s article takes a look at when it’s okay to contradict yourself or flip-flop with women – and how to deal with the tests that sometimes follow.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.



pp's picture

Nice masterpiece, Chase.
It's incredible how it has no comments, and I've got a question for you on this topic.

What if the one who flip flops is the girl?
I've recently dealt with an amazing girl I've dated for some months, we even lived together several weeks. She would occasionally flip-flopp on some irrelevant things like the things she'll buy for us to eat or more relevant like time of our dates which were often altered 15-30 minutes in one other direction and I would usually agree. Maybe it was testing, maybe her mismanaging time, but I think both.
The culmination of our relationship was the point were she said she's unsure about whether we can still be together or not, to which I reacted calmly "it's up to you, you can stay, you can go, we're not married". One evening of such talks I took my things from her place and moved out to my one male friend's apartment telling her: "I understand your doubts, if within two weeks from this moment you make up your mind to be with me, we'll be together, if not - no regrets, we'll just part ways".
After exactly 18 days (more than two weeks) she texted me that she wants to see me in our cafe I've first approached her sitting by herself and then she said she decided that she understood that she wants me to be with her...
But this time we've parted ways for good and know it's 2 months since that day.
I've told her that I was expecting her to come back to me those two weeks, but when they passed I just moved on and it will be better for both of us to go different paths. She resisted it. She could see from my body language I still wanted her, but I decided to end it. She almost started crying and then she just got up and left the cafeteria and I didn't see her again since then.
In my mind I'm still thinking about her, but it's fading. Main reason I ended things with her was exactly flip flopping.
Some girls do some amount of it, but with her it was too much for me to handle. I didn't want to keep on cementing bad precedent where she flip flops on our deals (two weeks or won't be a couple ever again).
Now I keep meeting other girls, but doubts in my mind are... Did I make the right choice? Is such flip flopping on girls side acceptable, because "women flip flop, they are neither robots nor men" or is it better to lose a girl and create better precedent with another one?
Could you share your thoughts on female flip flopping?
In her work she's very good at calculus and rational decision making, but when it comes to relationships she prefers to stay unpredictable(?). Whenever I try to qualify her, she corrects me, like she needs to stay in some control, yet I didn't her anything about abusive relationships and her confidence levels seems normal.
Conversations would go like:
Me: so you're really intelligent girl.
Her: maybe, but doing something insane makes life worth living.
Me: so you want some unpredictability
Her: no, I would rather prefer controllable adventures
Me: but they're still unpredictable
Her: planned trips are predictable
Me: so you see comfort in predictability
Her: not really ...
never letting me define her in words.

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