21 Signs She's a Psycho You Should Ghost on at the Bar | Girls Chase

21 Signs She's a Psycho You Should Ghost on at the Bar

Chase Amante

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signs she's psycho
How do you know a girl is crazy, and best avoided when you meet her at the bar? Look for these 21 signs... and keep your distance!

Talking about my article “8 Red Flags She’s a Crazy Girl You Should Stay Away From”, reader SZ comments:

I read the how to tell if a chicks crazy article, but it looks like if you kind of know her already, so if it’s a same night lay or a fast lay, no way to tell.

How can you tell a chick will be a problem from the first interaction, so you know she’s crazy right off the bat? How do you tell upfront ?

Good question. How do you know right away... when you meet her on the street, in a party, or at a bar? How do you know if she’s a potential danger to you? How can you identify the psychos – so you can weed them out?

As fun and liberating as hookup culture may be, there are plenty of folks who are off their rockers – and if you go out enough, you will meet them. Psycho men you need to avoid to stay out of fights. Psycho women you need to avoid for that reason... and for many more reasons. Psycho women may:

  • Manipulate you into fighting another man – psycho chicks often like to see men battle each other for their hands

  • Stalk you and harass you after sex – if you’ve never had a female stalker, you might think, “Eh, how bad can that be?” If you have had a female stalker though, you know it’s both kinda scary (you don’t have to be a big, burly man to sneak up on someone and plunge a knife in their throat; petite women can do this too), and it cramps your style in a major way (try keeping a high quality girlfriend while some psycho chick hounds you everywhere and contacts any woman she sees interacting with you to tell her made-up things to try and scare her off)

  • Slap you with a false rape accusationbetween 45% and 55% of men accused of rape are falsely accused by women; it’s an enormous problem in the West, and nobody talks about it (or is allowed to). While the odds are good her story will fall apart under police interrogation, and you will win the case, that won’t stop you from losing $10,000 to $100,000 on attorney and court fees, getting suspended or expelled from school, getting suspended or fired from work, and losing some or most of your friends. You don’t even need to have penetrative sex to get hit with an FRA; men who’ve no more than fingered a girl get hit with these, and sometimes a guy who’s never even touched a girl will get FRA’d

  • Just generally be an un-fun time – even if she’s not psycho enough to sick some meathead on you, follow you around and scare off other girls you date, or file a false police report claiming you raped her, psycho chicks are a lot of drama and can lead to some really draining nights out. Random crying fits, accusations followed by apologies, jealousy plotlines where she makes out with other men in front of you then gets angry if you try to leave, pulling you along somewhere you don’t want to go and then ditching you when you get there... these are just a few of the things I’ve seen psycho women do in nightlife

Caveat for the people who take things completely literally at all times: I’m using the term ‘psycho’ here in the colloquial sense of the word. I’m not focused on the clinical definition of psychosis. Though you’ll encounter some of that among women who exhibit these signs too. Instead, we are talking about crazy, nutty, outré behavior from broken people.

There is no reason to tolerate psychotic behavior from a woman. Unless you’re wildly desperate. Then I guess you may not be able to help yourself. But I hope if you’re someone who’s read this site for a little while, you are not wildly desperate.

Otherwise, there are so many normal women out there, who are just as hot (usually hotter) than the psycho chicks, and will not ruin or seriously monkey up your life. You want to find these girls (the normal ones), and screen out the crazies.

To help you do so, I’ve prepared a list of 21 signs to keep your eyes peeled for when you hit the bar, the lounge, the nightclub, the party, or the street at night, to make sure you don’t end up with a girl who’ll sour you on dating.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.



mrre's picture

Number 1 - 2 and 3 are all girls I find attractive and have an easier time to lay. [Some of them had other charachteristics on the list like the lgbt - feminist bisexual girl who came close to calling rape because I did not ask for her consent when I slipped in the tip bare without asking her consent the morning after when we were fooling around, after a night of kinky & hot sex. That one scared me quite a bit.] I haven't had relationships with these types of girls and I wouldn't want to but does this mean that I'm better off changing my "niche". Maybe I just find them hotter because I've had past successes with them? Truth be tols I'm a bit bummed by this article :(

Chase Amante's picture


Most guys tend to have relationships with the girls they specialize in sooner or later. Even if you start out with them just as flings.

Depends what you're after though. Some guys really like the crazy psycho chicks... it's a big rush for them. They like the drama, the excitement, the danger, and the hot sex.

And of course we're talking probability too. Just like you can find a girl with none of these red flags who is still psycho (improbable, but possible), you can find a girl with a few of these who is more or less sane... though, again, it's somewhat improbable, and you may have to look for quite a while. You may also revise downward your definition of "sane"... if every chick you date is 8 crazy, the girl who's 6 crazy starts to look pretty sane to you. Even though your buddy who dates different types of girls might be used to girls who are 5 crazy and only dates girls who are 4 crazy.

Past success will usually make you see certain kinds of girls hotter, yeah. The kinds of women you have lots of positive sexual experiences with appeal more to you. Generally I suggest guys try to have a broad diet of women... being able to switch things up when you want to is one of the reasons why.

Anyway, it's down to what you want. If you're trying to minimize risk and have stable long-term relationships, I'd suggest change. But if you like the excitement and don't mind the risk, maybe you'll be happiest with the girls you go for now!


Jake 's picture

I was raised by a single mother who had a legitimate reason to be single, but that reason happened to make her crazy. Surprised that was a bonus

Cacc's picture

You just described my mother. Became crazy and irratic after my father left her.

Glad I'm getting out.

Alexander Abraham's picture

Lol among the first two things in the list is something I really love: tattoos on a woman. Plus the only girl that I've really fallen for had dark blue tips in her hair (the rest was natural).

The girl then went on to get a nose ring a year after breaking up.... and then chopped off her hair into the weird crazy looking half chopped half not thing...

I've also noticed that I tend to fall for women that are a little more masculine in general (maybe I'm more feminine in general?). So that means I'm gonna be in perpetual danger mode (though funnily enough, the girl that did hit me with an FRA displayed none of these signs, though I suspect she has feminist friends after reading this).

So how do I change what I'm into? First girl had a sleeve tattoo and a hidden tattoo above her boob both related to Nightmare Before Christmas. And dark blue hair tips. And now tattoos drive me crazy in a good way. What do I do about this? Not many other girls get my heartbeat racing in a romantic-more-than-lust kinda way unfortunately...

Chase Amante's picture


Best way is exposure to different kinds of women, and positive experiences with them. Tattoos and hair color and their impact has to do with the experiences you've had.

e.g., girls who love baseball, or men with hairy chests, or to go hiking, almost universally love those things because they had an awesome boyfriend who had/did those things. As you date different sorts of people and have great experiences with them, your preferences expand.

Sort of like if you only eat Mexican food, so Mexican food is all you want to eat. Once you start to expand your diet though, you may find you really love sushi. Or foot-long sandwiches. Or hot pot. Or shawarma. Until you eat those things you won't have a preference for them; gotta sample them first ;)


Alexander Abraham's picture

The girls that I've had most experience with are actually normal-ish girls. Come to think of it, that one girl is the only one with a big tattoo (sleeve). There were a few others that had small tats but not a single one that I can think of had a big kind.

Now when I see them walking around it gets my heartbeat racing a little bit (until I see the guy they're with and then it's like well shiiiiiiit, guess I'll have to wait for the next one lol).

Which reminds me... when I get more ability to move around I'll need to hit up some coffee shops... often... ;)

EDIT: though I also feel like I should expand a little bit:
I've met a few other girls that have given me that exact same feeling though we've never hooked up. I can think of one off of the top of my head where it was just instant "I must talk to this girl" but it was coming off of my depressed times and I had some rebuilding to do, so sadly it didn't go anywhere. Though looking back there was either a chance or her being good at keeping me on the hook.... too far back for me to even trust my conclusions now though

It was also pretty instant that I fell for the blue-tips dark haired girl as well. And I honestly believe that it was her personality that really did it for me (though I have no idea if this was just backwards justification? though the new girl I can think of had a similar personality (but no tats that I'm aware of). But again, backwards justification[?] since the feeling hit long before I really knew these girls... so not sure...)

So you are probably right in that the tattoos bring me back to that girl rather than it being about the girls themselves. But I clearly have some kind of type when it comes to something that my brain is processing but I'm not yet able to. I have noticed that I like face shapes similar to my own, with a little angle on the chin....

So many questions that I don't even know what to ask right now lol.

Anonym's picture

Hi Chase,

an interesting article again. I have a question.

You wrote "The longer women are stuck being single, the nuttier they get. Unless she is a butch lesbian, she’s not good at tolerating manlessness for long."
Do you think it is equal for men? Or men are better at tolerating womanlessness? And how not to get nuttier if you are long term without women, assuming you are not a monk or something like that? It might be an article topic to write about being womanless long-term.

Thank you


Anonymous's picture


Chase Amante's picture


It does seem like most guys get pretty nutty if they go too long without a woman, yeah.

I've noticed men are a lot more prone to extreme thinking, magical thinking, and radicalization (of all sorts) when they've been womanless too long. They start to subscribe to theories about the world that they probably would not subscribe to if they were getting laid and had (romantic) female companionship.

I don't know enough about it I'd feel confident writing an article about it. But anecdotally I would tell you it seems like men go into a weird headspace without sex.

Some men use it well and channel it into productive directions (like monks). But most just get kind of fruity until they get laid again and chill out a bit.


Alexander Abraham's picture

That'll be a plus 1 here. I go nutty after a while.

It's like I'm a different person now that I'm seeing someone again. Mentally it's like night and day.

Jimbo's picture

"Between 45% and 55% of men accused of rape are falsely accused by women; it’s an enormous problem in the West, and nobody talks about it (or is allowed to)."

Not just in the West. Check this out: http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/false-rape-cases-in-delhi-delhi-commi... -- That's because Indians too have a very "anti-rape culture" environment, especially since the widely covered gangrapes that happened in the last years. Wherever you have a culture of whiteknights, you can expect false rape and assault claims to go through the roof. Whether it's feminist-type whiteknightism or old-fashioned one.

And the impact doesn't always stay on the micro level, i.e. only impacting those directly concerned by it; it can change the course of history. You know that Emmett Till case sixty years ago, which made a lot of the country lose sympathy and patience for the segregationist South? Yeah in 2008 the woman confessed she made it up. Gee Ms. Bryant, you sure you didn't want to wait another 50 years? I mean all you did was ruin the lives of a 14-year-old and of a couple of whiteknights and hasten the arrival of LBJ's troops (which from the Southern perspective of the time was bad).

And I mean just think of all the guys wrongly lynched at the time, black and white alike. If you have a population that believes allegations so readily, so credulously, with no evidence no due process no nothing, it's bound to get played and stirred up by anyone who wants a whiteknight show in their name, over and over. I mean if even today with due process, judge, jury and all, we still have something like 45% of rape claims that turn out to be fake as you say, can you imagine what the rate was in the past when all you had was mostly hearsay?!

And this one I think is linked to first item on your list, the "manipulate you into fighting another man", I think it's part of that. Just sometimes replace "another man" with "society at large", but it's part of the whole damsel in distress thing.

Anyway I went on a little tangent here, but yeah, these fake claims are a problem. It may not be such a bad thing for one to invest in hidden cameras in your home, especially if you ever come across a chick who fits one the traits you mentioned in this piece. Girl makes fake claim, she gets locked up. Hope this bitch gets the full ten years.

Chase Amante's picture


That makes sense. Indian women are some of the most feminist-leaning women out there. They're fertile ground for the rape witch hunt hysteria. Although unlike the gang rapes that show up in the American press, the ones that happen there are actually real (right? I mean, I'm assuming here. Then again everyone assumed Duke lacrosse was real too).

Emmett Till, yes, I'm not surprised. Just looked that up. Looks like the husband pressured her and she elaborated the story. Which I assume is what happens with a lot of these FRAs. Boyfriend says what happened; girl gives him a tentative "I guess I was raped maybe" and the guy presses her on it and she starts to embellish it.

Looks like the Trump administration is signaling an end to the kangaroo courts. The MSM is surprisingly restrained in its response. It's a major nail in the coffin of the feminist rape witch hunt hysteria that's been sweeping the U.S. the better part of a decade though. If public thought swings back toward skepticism of rape claims, FRAs should go down (until it swings back the other way in the further future... that's one pendulum that never stops swinging).


Jimbo's picture

Okay, I just finished this. Great read. The read flags especially, I'm saving them.

You know, a lot of these can be automatically avoided by simply going for girls who are:

1) Feminine: In both looks and behavior. That alone scraps like ten items of your list: heavily tattooed/pierced, the chicks who do outlandish things, who have strong (feminist) opinions, are impulsive, aggressive, possessive, competitive. In other words, just go for chicks that are girly, you know, followers, passive, tentative, etc. Don't go for dudes in girls' bodies and you'll automatically be avoiding a lot of those.

2) Single or Unchaperoned by Males: If some girl's in a relationship, just cross her off your list. Simple. Likewise if she's with another dude.

Now sometimes you don't know if she's with someone who's around, and you mentioned the possibility of it escalating. I don't know, I've never seen it, and it only happened to me once, which I don't know how representative this is. And it was in minimarket of all places. I started talking to this chick, asking her what was up with this brown rice, like how it was different from the white one aside from costing more, and she was like "yeah it's good for you bla-bla" and then I was like, "you must eat a lot of that because you don't look so bad yourself" and then she let out some kind of laugh, and then there was this dude who came to her and put some items in her basket (not a metaphor) and he was like, "can I help you?" and I was like, "Nah she already did" and I thanked her and turned around and resumed on shopping rice, and he let out a terse "cool". And that was pretty much it. I have no interest in non-single women.

So yeah that's that. I'm not adding anything new btw. This is just an attempt to summarize your list by using shorter proxies. And you tell me if these two can indeed be used as good proxies for most of the red and orange flags.

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, that's an efficient way to sum it up!

#s 9, 12, 13, and 14 would still sneak by. #7 you'd think might too, but every girl I've encountered who mentions rape/abuse is a tougher, more masculine/less feminine girl. So I guess other than 9 and 12-14, that'd cover all the red & orange flags.

Still good to know the flags anyway. It's easy for the little head to trick the big head: "She has tat sleeves, sure, but man... she seems pretty darn feminine to me!"

But if you screen for single & feminine, you'll dodge most of the major things to look out for right out of the gates.


HereNthere's picture

This one SOUNDS ridiculous, but for the past 7 or so years I've been noticing a near 100% consistency with girls wearing dark thick glasses are ones that I want to avoid.

It's not glasses in general. It's not dark glasses. It's the "retro" hipster style of dark glasses that are intentionally way thicker than they have to be. The girl in the picture for #4 is the perfect example.

I've been finding they tell a couple things about her. Light frames frame and contact lenses are so advanced and cheap now, they're easy enough for anyone who wants them to get. Disposable contacts are actually cheaper and easier than glasses now. This isn't the 80s anymore, contact are no longer expensive, uncomfortable things.

So right there it tells me she made a conscious choice to go out of her way for bulky, unattractive glasses, and none of the reasons are good.

-a "fuck society's standards don't judge me" statement like unkempt hair, shaved head, or body odor. Stay away

-an attempt to keep people away because they're not that socially adjusted

-someone who's susceptible to fads and weak willed

-just does not give a fuck how she looks and didn't want to spend the 1 extra minute putting on contacts that day. It's fine if she's middle aged and already married, or is working from home, or just ran out to do a quick errand, but going out to a bar or date? How excited about this date is she if she skips contacts and just throws on glasses? It's like if a guy showed up to a date wearing sweat pants. That would immediately warn the girl off that the guy isn't worth while.

At best, 90% of the women I've known who wear those glasses are uptight and joyless at best. The ones who act friendly at first usually end up being bi-polar. At worst, those glasses are practically the de facto uniform for radical feminists. Do a google image search for "radical feminist" and you'll see it a ton. You might recognize "Big Red" in there, perhaps the most famous face of modern radical feminism.

Chase Amante's picture


Yeah, that's an interesting one.

I was actually thinking "huge dark sunglasses are definitely a flag" when I saw your comment title. Huge sunglasses are usually at least a yellow flag:


I've no idea why though. But my experience has been these chicks are often a little screw loose-y. Not always crazy crazy, but a little nutty.


The hipster glasses I'm a little more cautious on. If you wear glasses, you can't necessarily get away from them.

I picked up a new pair of glasses a couple years ago. Had to get new frames as my old ones were busted. Almost every single frame in the glasses store (and they had lots of frames) was of the big thick hipster variety. I was amazed at how ubiquitous the design was. The only thing I could find that was not the "boxy hipster" look were the tiny circles hipster glasses (which only work if your face is a circle). And that was a major glasses chain (forget if it was Pearle Vision or LensCrafters... it was one of those two).

So anyway, I now have boxy hipster glasses. Much to my partial chagrin (though they do get a lot of compliments... trendy, I guess).

I have no doubt the nutty feminists are sporting those glasses. But just about everyone else who's picked up a frame in the past few years is too...


Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thanks for this article on calibration with filtering out crazies...
I also thank you for the article you wrote on social calibration a year from now.
It helped a lot and I have more friends than before.

But I came across another obstacle, if you can give me some insight, that'll be great!

So far, most of my social interactions are one on one.
Sure, not all say sure to one on one.
Some people just say they're busy and then I follow up and still busy then I invite someone else out and put those busy people on queue.
That's great as it gives me lots of experiences and calibration with one on one.
Also easier to observe for my learning.

But I think it's time to release the assist restrains and let me bike the real deal.
I can't remember what you said before about "Do this for now, [wait until you're calibrated] then do the other thing".
But I'm excited :)

Also I want to expand to groups. Groups also allow me to spend the same amount of time but expanding my social networking at a much faster rate. And it's simply easier have more choices of activities when you have more people.

Question 1: Is there a way to get people to start group events with you, letting them you're available this weekend and if they got anything cool (and invite you) in a social savvy way? Like if they're heading to concert or go-kart or blah blah etc. So I have something to do on weekend that's not just one on one.

I'm still stuck with inviting friends one on one for lunch or coffee as I pop them a text and then they agree.

Question 2 as follows
Many of my friends who talk about their social events with their other friends after it happened.
Parties or movies or whatever. I think it's a good opportunity if I could join as a mutual friend into the social circle. However whenever I drop a suggestion of me joining them for future events like their past ones they tell me about, a common objection I hear is:

"They [or most] don't know you."

Not sure if it's a social norm for only those who know everyone in the group can join for those events.
Or maybe it's one of those unspoken social rules "you must know ALL" I haven't calibrated to yet.
Because personally, I don't see any problem. If I was hosting a BBQ or party, I would invite all my friends.
It'll be a blast! Maybe not all if I'm going to a movie or private game of kattan (with a limited players).
But then the objection from me is "it's a small event" not "they don't know you."

I have a couple ideas on this issue and would love to hear your thoughts.
What do you think I can do to bypass these objections and join more events and meet friends through mutual friends?

A few thoughts:
1. Is it personal?
I had a case where the guy offer to meet me for lunch as his farewell but the dinner he was heading to RIGHT THEN AND THERE, he couldn't invite me to join because "they don't know me."
He intentionally took detour to walk with me and chat longer before bidding bygones.
If I was seen as "unworthy" or someone who shouldn't be seen together with him as friends, then surely he wouldn't walk an extra mile to chat and extend our interaction. (Investment).

2. Maybe a social thing? If he's not hosting an event, it might be weird to invite someone that no one knows (or most don't) to that event.

A way around this is offering value.
If I'm the HOST, then the aforementioned problem disappears. Also, I'm offering value (ex. I have a famous DJ friend playing at my party, it's open house and will be a blast!), then they'll invite all their friends to suck up that value. Then I can just scoop up all the networking as a value giver.

But the thing is...
I don't have those resources. I don't even have a place to host a party. And that's assuming the party will be great.
If it's lame with a few coming, it's probably worse and embarrassing.

I know you've been through the same, especially when you moved to different states and started with a blank slate in your social network (your old friends didn't move along with you so no one to really do anything for weekend and no one there would know you).

How would you tackle this in joining other group events from your friends who invite their friends?
Or how to get invited to events like parties or game or whatever that has many people you don't know personally but your friend does and they feel socially pressured and say "They don't know you though"?

Maybe the way I approach them about joining was wrong altogether, if it is, and you know a better way,
how would you do it?

Many thanks Chase,


Chase Amante's picture


Best way to get group event invites is to be the kind of guy people want to invite to group events. If you're fun, have a great sense of humor, cool, stylish, etc., people will invite you.

Think of yourself as a status marker. If someone can look cooler if he brings you along, he will bring you alone. If he can't, he won't. The other way around the status thing is to become really good friends with someone, to the point where he says, "I dunno if this guy is necessarily all that cool. But he's my great friend and I get tons of value out of this friendship and I want to hook him up with an invite to this cool party."

"They don't know you," is an excuse. It is a nice way to let you down easy. What the real message is is, "They wouldn't like to get to know you." Because if they'd like to get to know you, you'll get an invite. It's another way of saying, "Work on your social value and come see me next time."

You don't have to be a host.

You just need to raise your social value:

How to Get Anything from Anyone: The Law of Social Exchange


SZ's picture

Hey Chase,

Real quick questions

1. So it might take me 3-5 years to consistently get 20+ lays a year?

That sounds so long! I'm worried I might be too old by then!

Won't I be old as shit by then? Lol oh shit I'll be old, I feel old as hell now, I don't know if I can handle being the old man in the club lmao.
will that be a problem ?

2. Do I need anything special or act different for the instagram hoes with the big bootys and that are followed by many men and Beautiful girls in general?

Or can I just offer them good ol dick and nothing else. I'm trying to see what I can improve on and use while those other lames pay for them.

I'm trying to figure out, what would make them want me for free when they have all of these worshipers who would gladly give them anything they want.

3. What do you do if a girl wants you to do what she wants before you bed her?

I've had girls talk about that I had to eat them out to get some or to get some head.

I never do it and scoff at them, but I wonder what I should do if she really means it or has a strong frame. I will still say no, but will that mess me up?

And if they refuse to give me head, should I leave it alone or push it?

4. What do you do when they say they aren't a girl like that, or they're not a hoe, or that she doesn't do it on the first night, idk you like that etc.?

This also applies to getting dates too and anything that they try to get me to supplicate on, they want to do things on their terms. And I'm not with it, but I don't know if that makes fuckin them harder.

5. How do I handle getting rejected by girls who aren't cute at all? That shit stings my ego, they should be happy!

6. Why do girls always have a bitch face? That shit ain't cute and makes me not want nothing to do with them? How should I handle this?

Wanna get this settled now.


SZ's picture

I just left the boards and saw your comment to a dude about him being in his late 20s and got rejected by a girl that is 20.

You said 18-22 year old girls think anything over 23 is ancient!?

I'm about to go back go school, so they'll think I'm ancient!

Woe is me ! I knew I was old, fuck!

Should I just lie about my age? I'm not a liar, and I'm just an honest person, I would feel insecure if I lied, plus I'm sure someone will know me or knows about me.

They'll probably think I'm some lame old dude because I'm in school with them! With no career Dammit!

Damn, I knew I was old, it's so sad. What should I do? Because I know I will be asked this when I start picking up chicks there.

Chase Amante's picture


1. So it might take me 3-5 years to consistently get 20+ lays a year?

That sounds so long! I'm worried I might be too old by then!

Depends on the man. But yes, usually.

That's assuming you work smart and you work hard and you dedicate yourself to the skill.

There are plenty of men who'd like to be at 20+ lays a year and will never get there. Because they never work hard enough and smart enough, at either the 'get girls' skill or some other thing that will get them tons of lays (like they become locally famous + have an okay level of game/aggressiveness).

2. Do I need anything special or act different for the instagram hoes with the big bootys and that are followed by many men and Beautiful girls in general?

Or can I just offer them good ol dick and nothing else. I'm trying to see what I can improve on and use while those other lames pay for them.

I'm trying to figure out, what would make them want me for free when they have all of these worshipers who would gladly give them anything they want.

I mean, if you can bed these girls, you can probably hang onto them.

Most of them are into the trappings of wealth and social status though. So you will probably need those things. Even if you have very tight game, that alone won't do it much of the time with gold diggers and social climbers. Usually you need to show off a little wealth/status too.

3. What do you do if a girl wants you to do what she wants before you bed her?

I've had girls talk about that I had to eat them out to get some or to get some head.

I never do it and scoff at them, but I wonder what I should do if she really means it or has a strong frame. I will still say no, but will that mess me up?

And if they refuse to give me head, should I leave it alone or push it?

Why? Is it a fight?

Why not "I love pussy - let me at it"?

Or just tell her what to do if she's already at your place. If you have a woman naked at your place, or semi-dressed, and you cannot power through that kind of resistance, you need to read up on busting LMR:

If a girl refuses you anything, leave it alone unless you're confident you can get it, or don't mind blowing things up if you don't.

4. What do you do when they say they aren't a girl like that, or they're not a hoe, or that she doesn't do it on the first night, idk you like that etc.?

"Why's that?"

[she gives you her reason]

[you go into a mini speech about freedom, adventurousness, spontaneity, and doing what you truly want to do, and how you respect the people who are like this, and how most people are so restrained trying to do what they think other people want them to do]

Then tell her to come on, and lead her into it.

5. How do I handle getting rejected by girls who aren't cute at all? That shit stings my ego, they should be happy!

How to be Resilient (and Bounce Back from Rejection)

6. Why do girls always have a bitch face? That shit ain't cute and makes me not want nothing to do with them? How should I handle this?

It intimidates less bold / less confident men and screens for only the men these women want to meet.

You said 18-22 year old girls think anything over 23 is ancient!?

I'm about to go back go school, so they'll think I'm ancient!

Woe is me ! I knew I was old, fuck!

lol. I said 18-22 y/o girls IN COLLEGE think anything over 23 is ancient.

Think about it like this. You are 18 years old. You live in a dorm filled with 18 y/os. You wake up in the morning and walk across campus, where you see nothing but 18-22 y/os. You sit in one class after another filled with 18 y/os. The only older people there are teachers. During meals, you eat with 18 y/os. The 19 y/os seem so mature. The 22 y/os are almost elderly. They're the statemen of your world. Someone who is 25 is like a space alien, living in an entirely different world. Who the heck is 25? You never even meet a 25 y/o. They have, like, jobs and stuff! That must be so weird!

Obviously it's different if you go to a city college, where she's around older people a lot more in the city. But in college towns, yes. Any time you have people surrounded exclusively by other people in a narrow age band, everyone outside that age band seems weird.

Once she's out in the real world again, she goes back to a normal way of thinking. Or if she skips college and is 20 years old and working retail, she doesn't have that weird college belief about age. But in an age-constrained environment, it's weird to meet someone socially who does not fit with all the other people you meet socially.


Anonymous 's picture

Hey Chase,

Sorry to say, but you're wrong :( you're still my man tho.

I can assure you, that this is a very serious problem and these people aren't just playing with me. They are against me.

I always laugh when people talk crap about me, I never got mad too much, but it annoyed me when I thought about it later because it made no sense to me on why they keep messing with me.

And it ranged from many other topics; they would say I didn't get girls all of the time, I suck at this sport, or they would randomly talk shit about whatever they could.

I wish it was a simple as you thought, but it's a lot worse. I never got angry or yelled or any of that, I tried to laugh it off and thought that it was the wrong move, maybe I should yell at them, then they'll stop.

I know I wrote a whole lot, so I don't think you saw the other parts. I'll make them brief because I know you have things to do.

1. People who I would welcome into my home, thought who were my friends would steal from me, and it hasn't happened once.

2. Many groups I had turned on me, for no reason, I never did anything to anyone, I always was a cool friend.

I never was needy or anything, but they turned on me like I was some fucked up dude.

3. People use to always want to fight me or test me, no matter what, people always felt this thing to constantly test me and try to mess with me.

4. I even had family members who never taught me anything, they would teach me the wrong stuff to lose. They would give me bad advice on purpose.

5. When I say laugh, the people always laugh at my misfortunes, whenever I looked bad they would love to make fun of me.

6. I have even helped girls I dated with their lives and they went crazy on me and tried to hurt me.

7. Girls I have dated, and even bedded quickly think I don't get any girls.

People always have something negative to say about me.

The way I have been treated caused me to become less humouress, because trying to laugh it off never worked for me and I felt it welcomed them to talk shit to me.

People for some reason think I'm weak, I always comeback at them, but it happens so much people just talk real reckless disrespectful shit to me. They are not kidding around. They probably want me to hurt them, and I don't know why.

I kid you not, people always felt that they needed to treat me wrong.

How can I stop it?

And what can I do to use all of the pain I went through for motivation? I don't know what to do with this anger.

1.I just want to know why the reasons why I was treated so bad.

2. How can I never have this happen again.

3. What can I do with my anger and bitterness to have a better life and shit on them?

Thank you

Chase Amante's picture


Ah, okay. If it isn't humorlessness, then it's probably lack of threat.

There are two kinds of threats: social threats and physical threats.

I gave a guide to being a social threat in my recent article on comebacks. The threat there is if someone tries to make a fool of you verbally, you wreck them (also verbally).

But ultimately everything comes down to physical threat. Not necessarily can you win but will you take action. If people think they can push you and push you and push you and you aren't going to do anything about it, they will not respect you.

When I first entered high school, I realized I had this problem and decided I was not going to avoid physical fights anymore if it came to that. If someone crossed a line, I'd fight him. I only needed a few fights in high school, but it was enough. People realized quick that Chase would fight you if you needed fighting. I was skinny, and not that great a fighter, but most fights are just guys trading a couple of blows, and they rarely have a clear winner and loser. Just a couple guys who hurt each other a bit and now respect each other more after. And everyone else respects them more too.

Imagine a group of lions. There's one big powerful lion. And another lion, not as strong, but he gets into physical fights sometimes with the big lion. And then there are a bunch of other lions too, but they never fight. Even if they're bigger than that not-as-strong lion, which seem like the toughest, most respectable lions there? The two lions that fight.

Anyway. It doesn't always have to be shoves and fists. Much of the time the threat of violence is all you need. I didn't get in a single fight my first two years of college but guys repeatedly told me they wouldn't fight me because they figured I'd just go crazy on them. One guy eventually stood up to me and said, "I'm not afraid of you, Chase!" Which made me lol on the inside. I barely even talked to that guy. But once you have that general aura of "I will fuck you up if you piss me off enough", people will not try to tool you anymore.

Unless you're humorless.

Then they will still laugh at you behind your back.

But yeah. The threat of violence - both social and physical (and ultimately, you need physical to back up the social - the bulky, aggressive football player's insults are mightier, even if they're not as clever, than the insults of the skinny guy who always backs down when you challenge him, because you know the football player's insults are backed up by aggression, while the wimpy guy's insults are just hot air) - is what keeps people from pulling shit on you. A sense of humor is what takes the edge off your intimidation factor.

Sounds like you probably need to be a more intimidating dude. And ultimately that starts with getting physical with people if they cross a line.

Not too much; you don't want to hurt anyone too bad. And if you're in the hood you want to be careful about people pulling out their straps on you. But people will not generally respect you unless they know you're going to stand up for yourself. You can't really fake that; you have to actually be willing to stand up to people.


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