Navigating Highly Competitive Sexual Markets

Pitt-

On conforming to the local look vs. maintaining a distinctive overseas look - well, that depends on the relative competitiveness of your former and current environments!

If the competition levels are relatively similar, you're usually better off sticking with your local styles since the novelty boost it gives you will be beneficial and helps you stand out / polarize, attracting the women who are curious about men from abroad and repelling the women who are not.

If you find yourself in a much more competitive place - if, say, you've found yourself on a Greek party island like Mykonos or San Torini where it's 70% male or whatever the number is and there are lots of sexy Greek and Italian and whatnot guys, you might be better off conforming to the styles of the top guys there rather than sticking to the styles of the top guys from Chicago or Houston or wherever you hail from.

So, I'd say it's primarily just an "It depends" scenario.

I've noticed the fashion lag in certain parts of the world, yeah. When I first visited China in the mid-2000s all the young people looked like they'd stepped right out of a time capsule from the 1980s; in Japan in the early 2010s I ran into tons of young people with David Bowie hair. South America seems like it consistently lags a little behind American fashion as well, yeah. Although it does seem like England is often ahead of the trendy parts of the U.S. by about a year in some or even a number of ways fashion-wise.

Chase

Q-

The primary thing here is targeting what's under your control.

The most prolific guy I knew in San Diego was a Korean-American guy, and I had a couple of buddies who got laid a lot there, including a tall blonde white friend with killer looks and a rapier sense of sexual humor, and a super-dynamic, super-cool black friend who could talk his way into or out of any situation and was one of the most unflappable people you'll ever meet. Both of those latter two conform racially to two of the standards that I'd agree with you California girls go for; the Korean-American guy obviously didn't.

However, what he had going on was that he worked out hard and put on muscle; he developed an über-confident "I really don't care what you say, I'm the coolest dude here and we both know it" mentality without being overly-dickish and instead taking kind of a "here, I'll take you under my wing and we'll both have a good time" approach; he had a killer sense of humor; and he had a lot of experience. Of all my friends there, I'd say he had the closest thing to an ideal California guy approach and mentality there was (and he was not from there, either).

So that'd be my recommendation: don't worry about the things you can't control, like skin color or facial structure. Leave those aside, and zero in on what you can control, which is almost everything else. The tighter all the rest of your fundamentals become, the increasingly invisible race becomes; a nerdy white guy gets rejected because "she just likes him as a friend" while a nerdy Indian guy gets rejected because "she doesn't date Indian guys"; a really cool, sexy white guy and a really cool, sexy Indian guy both sleep with her without her ever spending much time considering their racial backgrounds or whether she'd like to have them as a friend, because there's just so much other awesomeness going on she isn't even paying attention (although you may get amazed comments about how she didn't know men of your race / background could be like you, or you're the first XYZ man she's ever slept with and she never thought she'd sleep with an XYZ guy, and now she wants to know if she's been missing out or you're just not like all the other XYZ guys, etc.).

Chase

William-

Conflict is wonderful; it is the great teacher. We just float along in a lake of apathy and tranquility until we encounter it.

I didn't watch the video (yet) because it's pretty long; however, if Tai or someone else wants to guest post here and they've got something high quality (that is: specific, unique, and actionable), we're happy to have them - they can always use the contact form to get in touch. We're pretty picky about what we approve for the site though; maybe only a quarter of the people who submit guest posts to us actually have them published here.

That said, the RSD guys tend to be pretty insular; Owen is strictly against hiring outside the RSD community, they don't advertise or use affiliates, and keep mostly to themselves; so I'd be surprised if an RSD guy wanted to do a guest post here! I think we tried to get some of them into the blog carnival back when we were running those, and all we heard back was crickets.

Chase

Anon-

I'd probably recommend making it some kind of party and inviting some of your other prospects there as well, so you'll have multiple women to talk to. That'd be ideal - just set up a party, invite a few girls whose numbers you've collected but you haven't hooked up with yet and maybe it's not looking super promising about setting up a date with them, and then have your buddy and his girl come and bring this girl along.

Just so long as there are multiple people you know there who are socially proofing you and a few other girls preselecting you, you should be in good shape. The aim here is to make it so that you are meeting her on "your turf" and not so much neutral ground - you're more likely to net her attraction early on in that case, which'll give you less to worry about.

I'd also suggest having a read through this article, on the topic of introductions (though not specifically on the "blind date" style introduction that it almost sounds like your friend wants to set up here - maybe we ought to do one on running these appropriately): Get Introduced to Girls and Play the Game on 'Easy Mode'.

Chase