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Social Skills

Level Up Your Game, Pt 2: Conversations with Girls

Varoon Rajah's picture

conversations with girls
Let’s discuss how you can use conversation to establish acceptable social frames, create high points and compliance, and lead innocent chit-chat toward sexual topics.

Hey guys, it’s Daniel and Varoon once again! Earlier this year we met up in Canada, went out at night, and decided to write about it.

We figure it would be a great way to better understand the pitfalls guys face when learning the game. In this 4-part series, we cover 20 tips guys can use to improve their game.

In Part 1, we covered:

  • Being Present and seeing the room
  • Paying attention to her emotional feedback
  • Remaining present in the conversation
  • Being aware of potential roadblocks
  • Internalizing tenets of textbook seductions

Now we'll cover more intricacies of conversations with women that we noticed on our trip together.

How to Tell a Story

Tony Depp's picture

how to tell a story
Storytelling is a great skill, especially for attracting women. Getting her hooked and showcasing your good qualities all become smoother if you know how to tell a story.

Most men have no idea how to tell a story, especially one that will attract beautiful women.

I’m a writer. I have a blog with over one million written words. I’ve published multiple books, including fiction novels and a memoir, and I teach men how to talk to women. So I have a little experience with storytelling.

I’m in Kyiv, Ukraine at the moment. I’m trying to write, but I’m distracted by the waft of perfume drifting off the endless stream of long-haired, fair-skinned beauties sliding past the café in their high heels. How did I end up ten thousand miles from home, in a country that’s actively engaged in war with Russia? Was it for the women? The adventure? First, let me teach you how to tell a story.

Did that paragraph grab your attention? Were you hooked? With approaching women, the first step is to “hook” a girl (make her stop and pay attention). The first step in a story is to “hook” the audience, then captivate, amuse, charm, and attract them to you.

Female State Control Vaccines: Rapport and Fractionation

Alek Rolstad's picture

female state control rapport
The best way to deal with Female State Control (FSC) is to avoid it. Let’s talk about how combining rapport and fractionation creates a weapon of mass seduction.

Welcome back. The last few weeks, we've been exploring Female State Control (FSC). Let’s continue discussing the aspect of social frame, since it's closely tied with FSC. We want to give you all the ins and outs of the latest theories and tech. That’s why we're dedicating many posts to social frame.

Social frame is a key component to avoiding FSC, which is when women control their state whenever they get stimulated by a guy without feeling allowed to do so for some reason or another. If you want more info on this, check out my previous posts on this subject.

Today we will discuss how rapport affects social frame.

We will also discuss how to build rapport the right way, since rapport can be a double-edged sword (we will tap into why this is). You’ll learn how to avoid the pitfalls while keeping all the benefits.

But before we get into that, we need to ask ourselves an important question.

The Social Dynamics of Female State Control in Pickup

Alek Rolstad's picture

social dynamics
It’s not always obvious why a girl ejects from a seduction. Let’s take a look at some nuanced aspects of social dynamics as they relate to Female State Control.

Hey guys, and welcome back. Today I will finish up where we last left off. Last week’s discussion was about social frame, focusing on social value, a key aspect of social frame and seduction in general.

Social frame is a bundle term for everything concerning attraction and attractiveness on a social level. A good social frame lets you match with her socially. It contributes to whether or not a girl will feel it is okay to hook up with you. If you lack social frame, you may risk causing her to regain control of her emotions and back off, despite being stimulated by you emotionally. That's what we call Female State Control (FSC), which has been the primary topic of all my posts these last few weeks.

Previously we discussed how:

  • Social value is vital to social frame, and why it’s important to have at least a minimum threshold of social value

  • Social value is relative to where you are at with attracting her

  • You can increase your social value through different techniques and concepts

Today we will discuss another aspect of social frame — social dynamics. We’ll look at the dynamics that take place in the interaction, and how they can make you win the girl or lose her.

This post should present little new information to those who are accustomed to pickup literature, although a recap is always nice. Also, you will see how these concepts relate to social frame and perhaps gain a new perspective on how they affect the interaction and outcome. For this reason, I would recommend even advanced guys read this article.

Let’s get to it.

Female State Control Vaccines: Social Frame

Alek Rolstad's picture

female state control
Your social frame is possibly the most important thing when battling Female State Control. This means projecting the right social frame in the right context.

Welcome back. Previously, we have discussed female state control (FSC), described what it is, and presented some solutions. FSC is when a woman backs off (despite liking you) so she doesn’t “lose herself” and get “carried away by you” before she knows for sure you are a good guy for her to get with.

Women are selective, and they know that being aroused or mentally stimulated by a guy is not enough of an indicator of a suitable mate. Yet they tend to get carried away. So whenever women feel like they are losing control, they back off to make a more “rational” assessment of you.

A simple way to put it is this: have you ever gotten a girl aroused and could tell she was into you, yet she backed off saying you are not her type?

Well, that is not an uncommon scenario. This is female state control. She likes you; she is turned out by you, but either:

  • You don’t fit her social standards
  • You do not fit into the usual categories of guys she likes
  • She doesn’t feel comfortable exploring further

What we are dealing with is a lack of what Gunwitch calls “social frame.” And a lack of social frame can force women to control their state whenever they feel emotionally stimulated by you.

So, arousal + social frame = a high chance of pulling (if logistics allow). On the other hand, arousal with a lack of social frame means she will get aroused but control her state.

In other words, having a lack of social frame makes her control herself, and creating a good social frame minimizes your chances of dealing with FSC. In the next three weeks, we will discuss the three aspects of creating social frame that we touched upon last week, but we'll get into greater detail.

These aspects are:

If you're unfamiliar with any of those terms, click on them to learn more.

Today, let’s take a look at the first aspect: social status, value, and overall social dynamics.

But before we get into that, here’s a quick recap of what social frame is as it relates to FSC.

Get People to Like You and Be Cool: Use the Spotlight! (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Being the center of attention is an amazing feeling. Everyone enjoys it, even if they don’t want to admit it.

It feels good for everyone to be paying attention to you and to laugh, smile, and stare at your performance as a social being.

I don’t care how introverted you are or how “too cool for groups” you are – you love attention. We all do.

So this is how you GET the spotlight and how you USE it.

It is a tool like everything.

So let’s learn how to use this tool.

How to Be Popular: 9 Tips (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

If there is anything you PROBABLY want to learn on this site besides how to get laid and get a girlfriend, it’s this – how to become popular.

Everyone wants it.

I wanted it. I still want it.

But without a good strategy, you will probably fail. Popularity doesn’t just “happen.”

Like wealth or skill, social status must be earned by YOU.

And it takes WORK.

How do you talk to people in a way that makes them like being around you so they will continue to want to be around you? How do you behave, connect, and rise in the ranks? It’s all very complex.

And yet, very simple.

For you, watching this video, it will be simple. I break down 9 ways for you to become popular. In my opinion, these are the fundamentals of becoming popular in ANY circle.

They work ANYWHERE with ANY group of people.

Low class. High class. Snobby. Humble. Hipster. Gym fiends. Aristocrats. Assholes.

Only the flavor and difficulty changes.

Fundamentally, it’s all the same.

So here you go.

Franco Lombardi – Gauging a Woman’s Comfort Level on Dates (Podcast)

Varoon Rajah's picture

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics, our podcast here on Girls Chase! Today once again I feature Franco, with whom I’ve done several podcasts – and they’ve turned out to be some of the most popular due to Franco’s special knowledge of dating and relationships. We met up in San Diego over New Years and talked about a girl’s comfort on dates, which is a sticking point I had late last year, where it was difficult to tell how comfortable a girl was on a date, which made it tough to move things forward.

Franco always tells me about his excellent track record on dates, as he was closing 9 out of 10 girls he would take on dates with him. What helps is his ability to gauge a girl’s comfort and where she is emotionally on a date.

Knowing a girl’s comfort level and emotions are key in the moment, as this allows you to determine what you need to do to move a date forward toward intimacy – and very importantly, when.

Girls also often give mixed signals to test a guy, and a good guy should know how to handle these tests as he moves the process along with a girl.

In this podcast, we talk about how to determine a girl’s comfort level early on a date, the adjustments in vibe we need to make to make her more comfortable, the adjustments we should make if an emotion is too strong, how to determine when a girl is comfortable enough for touch and what type, when to start and escalate touch, how to use sexual touch when she’s comfortable, and how to close at the end of the date – whether it’s just going for the kiss or pulling her home.

Here’s Franco…

How Abstraction Can Help You Connect Better with Women

Darwin Niwrad's picture

abstraction and women
Women can seem hopelessly complicated, but if you check off some basic ideas, you’ll display enough understanding to allow them to bring their walls down for you.

When you learn how to drive a car, you don’t need to know how to put the engine together or memorize the available horsepower at particular RPMs. You don't need to know how the cylinders are operating, or understand the function of the pistons – you just drive.

This is abstraction, the general concept that applies to things of the same nature, or in this example, of how similar machines with four wheels generally operate.

You use abstraction every day in the real world, without even realizing it. This same concept pertains to women and pickup. I’m not saying women are as simple as cars, that’s far from the point, but what I am trying to help you understand is this: there are general rules that are basic to interacting with women that apply to all women. From dating to screwing, there are core rules that can give you better results and get you further in your mission of acquiring pussy or just having women around.

We will use the concept of abstraction to take a relatively complex system like women and try to simplify our efforts to interact sexually with these beautiful creatures.

So how exactly can we apply abstraction to women?

4 Ways to Use the Contrast Principle in Your Love Life

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

contrast principle
The contrast principle allows you to guide people to the choice you want them to make with the use of a powerful psychological feature: contrast.

On my article about fun ways to use reverse psychology, a reader named 'America's Ass' asks:

Hey Chase, I loved this article! Would you mind doing one on the "contrast principle". It seems to be a great tool in fields like sales, negotiation and persuasion in general. Looking forward to your wisdom on how one could use this in a courtship scenario. Aufwiedersehen!

What is the contrast principle America's Ass is referring to?

It is the idea we do not judge things in absolutes.

Rather, we contrast one thing against something else.

When you say "This pastry is delicious," you really mean "This pastry is delicious contrasted against other pastries I've had." When you say "That person is a jerk," you really mean "That person is a jerk contrasted against the other people around me usually."

There are many ways you can see the contrast principle in life:

  • The Hot Girl (Guy) in the Room Effect: everyone's been stuck in a classroom or office space where another person present is the most attractive around. Maybe you developed a big crush on this person over a few weeks or months. But when one day you saw this person outside class/the office, out in the real world, next to all the other people in public, suddenly that person was rather plain. How did this individual look so good in class or the office, yet so plain in public? Because, contrasted against your (few... or zero) other romantic options in the classroom/office, this person was the best, and the contrast principle inflated her (or his) attractiveness. Out in the real world, where there are many more options to choose from, some of them much more attractive than the classroom/office hottie, this person becomes pretty plain in contrast.

  • Fruit Sweetness. If you eat a lot of cakes, cookies, candies, soda, and ice cream, when you bite into a fruit, it's not that sweet, and it may not be that enjoyable or rewarding. The reason why is because fruits use sugar to make themselves yummier. But cakes, cookies, candies, soda, and ice cream have far more sugar packed into them than fruit does, and if you regularly eat them, it will seem like the sugar content of fruit is not that high in contrast. Yet, if you take a break from confections, and cut the cakes, cookies, candies, soda, and ice cream out of your diet, within a month or so fruits begin to seem much sweeter, and become an enjoyable dessert to have after a meal. Because you no longer contrast them against foods much sweeter than them, fruits now seem like the sweetest thing in the world to you.

  • Good vs. Bad Interviewees. If a job interviewer interviews a candidate who seems like a bad candidate for the role, the next candidate the interviewer speaks with (unless that candidate is even worse) will seem better than he otherwise would have in contrast. On the other hand, if the interviewer interviews a great candidate who really blows his socks off, the next candidate, even if that candidate is objectively pretty good, will seem much worse in contrast (unless the candidate is actually better than the first one). This works the same way on the interviewee side when interviewing for jobs. Interview with a place that leaves you saying "I would never want to work there!" and the next place will seem like the Promised Land in contrast. However, interview with a place where you conclude you would definitely like to work, and the next company you interview at will seem like a much bigger disappointment than it would've seemed had you interviewed at it first.

The two examples we just covered with people are somewhat outside your control (the fruit sweetness example, however, is 100% within your control). You can't completely control whether you are the most attractive member of your sex in a given room (though you can dress better, improve your posture, and do other things to make you a more attractive option). And you can't control how good or bad the interviewee is before you (though you can make yourself as good an interviewee as possible, to hopefully stand out in positive contrast to whomever came before).

So below, I'll give you a handful of ways you can use the contrast principle to actively influence the way other people see you... and, in turn, influence the results you get, both socially and romantically.