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Social Skills

How to Change a Girl's Negative Perceptions of You

Cody Lyans's picture
fix bad first impression
If a girl screens you out before getting to know you, don't take it personally. It's not that difficult to change a girl's perception of you and turn things around.

Have you ever felt like a woman has judged you from one look and came to a conclusion that puts you out of the running forever? Well, it is no illusion. Women do screen men out like this, and if you go in blindly, your chances of turning things around are not very high.

There is a reliable way to turn your image around with a girl, however. What I'll share in this post can help you confidently get back on track.

First, let's go through why girls get negative images of you so you don't take it personally or hold it against women. When I first started picking up girls, they screened me out, thinking that I was unmanly, weak-willed, naïve, boring, and lame. Of course, I felt shocked that I was labeled this way and thought these girls were wrong.

It's important that we understand the reason women often screen so harshly: they despise men who promise results LATER.

Anyone can promise they'll be worthwhile to a girl at some later point, after some rapport is built or whatever. If a woman gives in to this reasoning, your true character and intentions will remain hidden until the time you reveal them. She risks being played and getting emotionally hurt. No girl is so weak that she will let anybody hurt her just because he says he won't, and needs some help to get started. Women screen to see your agenda NOW. They want to know if you can DELIVER on command or not.

If you are unwilling to show your agenda or character in the now, it's because you are ashamed of it. If you are not able to deliver on command, you have no business making them.

So, from a woman's point of view, this is the most basic screening behavior. She assures herself that men GIVE her a benefit now and that they REVEAL how they feel about themselves and their actions. It lets her deal only with men she knows have something to offer.

Now, you can rage against the mating-game here and say it's unfair, but look at how trivial of a test this is. It does not determine much about you; it is actually very open (unless you failed to pass it). Her image of you can also be changed if you know how. So it is like raging at a parking meter. There are bigger issues to worry about — issues that are actually in your control.

A bit of understanding can go a long way. As with many things, the first step is to accept reality, then develop a game plan to adapt and conquer.

Here's my experience and advice for managing your image with girls in the long term.

How to Deal with Freeze-Ups when Trying New Venues, Part 2

Alek Rolstad's picture

social freeze ups
Social freeze-ups can happen anywhere, even venues you’re familiar with. So here are more ways to set things in motion and turn a sour mood into a sexy vibe.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Last time we discussed overall strategies to prevent and handle potential freeze-ups when frequenting new venues. Today we will delve deeper into this topic. Let’s focus on practical tools that can help you counteract potential anxiety in the field.

Last time we focused primarily on dealing with new venues, since these are usually a source of potential nervousness. You do not feel fully at home in new environments, and they can be a bit scary.

I’ve mentioned that freeze-ups can also happen in familiar venues where you do feel at home, too.

Even though you’ve been to a place many times and have had great nights and much success there, there can be nights where you still struggle and have a hard time interacting with others. So here are some more general solutions that will also help in familiar places.

Good Game Means Communicating like a Hot Girl, Part 2

Varoon Rajah's picture

sexy masculinity
Good game means adopting certain behaviors that come easy to women. But to attract women, you must balance this by maintaining a dominant, masculine presence.

Welcome to Part 2 of this series about how to adopt certain aspects of female behavior to improve your seduction game.

In Part 1, we discussed the elements of each behavior or quality to help manage a girl’s social frame. Now we’ll discuss how to do this while maintaining your masculine edge, allowing you to connect to a woman’s biological core and spark intense attraction.

We’ll look at how you can text in a masculine manner, behave like the man she wants, and how to talk like an attractive, dominant man.

How to Deal with Freeze-Ups when Trying New Venues, Part 1

Alek Rolstad's picture

social freeze ups
The experience you gain by going to different venues is invaluable, but it’s easy to freeze up socially in new environments. This is normal, but not untreatable.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Today, I’ll discuss club game issues that are relevant to everyone at any level. What do you do when you experience a “social” freeze-up at a club?

Sometimes guys freeze up when entering a club. They feel unable to approach women or groups. Their anxiety rises, and they start feeling anti-social, and not in the mood.

If you are experiencing this, you are likely entering what psychology calls “freeze mode.”

Guys freezing up will often rationalize that the venue is bad for hooking up and start seeing negativity everywhere:

The list goes on.

When you enter freeze mode, and you don’t feel social, you start seeing negativity everywhere. And most of the time, it’s just a bias created by your mood.

So let’s discuss what causes this mood and then discuss some solutions to help you successfully move forward in these situations.

Overthinking and Seduction Don't Mix

Cody Lyans's picture

seduction and overthinking
Attraction requires a flow of action and reaction. It gets disrupted when you overthink. To gain a successful seducer’s mindset, practice acting on a whim.

As men, we are thinkers. When faced with a problem or difficult scenario, we want to take a seat and mull over the possibilities. As a seducer, you want to interrupt that process and adopt another kind of thinking.

There are a few things overthinking men do “wrong” in the eyes of women:

  1. Acting on opportunities too late or delaying sexual behavior to seem chivalrous

  2. Promising things in the future that have no evidence in the present

  3. Desiring the ideal of sex like it can't go wrong and losing sight of reality where it can

We tend to slow down when things get complex, but women start to worry and think faster as things get complicated. To girls, we seem ill-equipped to handle complexity. Girls have no way of measuring the potential success rate when we sit down to think; they assume we are “sitting this one out.” So by that standard, it is not chivalrous to delay sexual behavior; it is often seen as a man “quitting very easily.”

Also, we like to promise the future to women. However, women are intensely connected to their feelings in the "right now," and the future does not affect them emotionally like the present does. A woman will never give up an emotion NOW for an unmeasurable gain later. Neither will she respect a promise without strong evidence, no matter your conviction.

Lastly, if you desire sex, and do not consider all the ways it can blow up and be annoying, girls will just become lazy and entitled about sex. They’ll think of you as far too slow-witted to have a mind of your own about what is desirable. And if they think you don't know what is desirable, they won't strive to be desired by you.

These three concepts are why you need to stop sitting down to think or slowing down to seem thoughtful. Girls do not think like you, they think faster and faster, intensely relying on feelings NOW, and they adhere to a code of absolute desire or apathy.

To think like a seducer, you must become uninhibited in every action you take, adhering to a philosophy they adore. You must flow from task to task, and make the complex seem simple and beautiful. You cannot slow down or get flustered, and you cannot overthink.

Seducing is much like playing a musical instrument. You cannot worry about what others will think of you if you start scrunching your face as you search for the perfect sound. You can't stop halfway through the song to think through the next part. At that exact moment in time, it is sink or swim, and you must act in the way that produces maximum effect. Anything less, and you will not capture people's imagination or stir up their feelings.


Good Game Means Communicating like a Hot Girl, Part 1

Varoon Rajah's picture

sexy communication
Women respond to emotions better than logic, and when it comes to attraction and sex, logic just gets in the way. The solution: learn to communicate like a hot chick!

As a guy grows on his journey to seduction mastery, he inevitably comes to realize that much of “good game” entails learning to behave and think like a hot girl.

To curtail any confusion about the focus of this article series, I want to make it clear that women are attracted to men because men are men. This will never change. By “behaving like a hot girl,” I’m not saying you should adopt the personality or mannerisms of a hot girl.

The points in this series are separate from the idea that effeminate men have great success with women. Those guys are indeed deadly seducers; many pros are super masculine but have a strong feminine façade. Consider, for example, guys like Prince and Russell Brand, along with many musicians, rappers, and actors. Our very own Alek Rolstad enjoys great success having a somewhat effeminate persona.

So if you’re specifically wondering how to be attractive to women as an effeminate man, here’s the article you’re looking for:

On the other end of the spectrum, you have predominantly masculine characters like James Bond. Sure, these guys are super attractive physically, but what is it about their seductive prowess that puts them over the top?

The answer is similar to that which makes effeminate men so deadly: a deep understanding of hot women and how they communicate.

These guys, whether they are super masculine or effeminate, can communicate on a level most guys are oblivious to. So that’s what we’ll cover in this article series: the communication and social behaviors used by hot girls, and how understanding these behaviors and incorporating them into your masculine presence can raise your seduction prowess to 007 levels.

In Part 1, we’ll look at the elements of each behavior or quality to help manage a girl’s social frame. And in Part 2, we’ll discuss how to do this while maintaining your masculine edge, allowing you to connect to a woman’s biological core and spark intense attraction.

Let’s get started, shall we?

15 Scientific Ways to Be Extremely Charming

Tony Depp's picture

be charming
To get ahead in this world and avoid condemnation; to attract a good mate and less humiliation, be charming. It’s easy, and you can start by reading this article. ;p

Would you like to be charming as, say, Tyrion from Game of Thrones, or Barrack Obama? Yeah, you would.

How about no more rejections from hot girls, no more waiting in lines for bread and Vodka rations? (I’m in Post-Soviet-Bloc Bulgaria at the moment.)

That’s right. Today I’m going to teach you how to be charming.

What exactly is charm, anyway? Are you just born with it, genetically gifted, like me? Or can you learn to be charming?

Yes, you can learn.

What is charm?

  1. A trait that fascinates, allures, or delights

  2. A physical grace

  3. Compelling attractiveness

It’s also considered a magic incantation, or an item believed to contain luck-bringing qualities.

To be a “charming” person means you’re pleasant, valuable to be around, and possibly magical.

 

Daniel Adebayo | Becoming More Consistent in Seduction (Podcast)

Varoon Rajah's picture

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today we have the second part of my interview with Daniel Adebayo from earlier this year, easily one of the most consistent night-game and day-game specialist I’ve met and seen in action. He’s easily one of the most innovative and consistent gamers I’ve seen.

Last time while in Montreal, we talked about how to get women in your bed using verbal game, and how Daniel’s unique style of verbal game can give any guy an edge in getting women’s attention in the modern age of overstimulation.

For this podcast, we continue that conversation with a focus on consistency, and specifically how Daniel has achieved consistency in his game style. If a guy wants to improve his game, there should always be a focus on being more consistent. And what’s truly rewarding with this style is how confident it can make a guy in knowing he can meet and sleep with a woman with a predictable amount of effort.

As we spoke about meeting women with him in Canada, Daniel explains how his focus on process, fundamentals, and constant effort has given him – and can give any guy – the ability to easily sleep with many women, at any point in time.

How Too Much High Value Can Trigger Female State Control

Alek Rolstad's picture

female state control
In our series on Female State Control (FSC), we’ve learned how high value and social frame can bypass FSC, but can too much of it actually work against you?

Hey, guys. Today I will continue my discussion on social frame and female state control (FSC). However, I will take a different angle. We will discuss some other reasons why FSC is socially useful.

We’ve discussed FSC and social frame a lot lately, but if you are new to this, check out the previous articles.

In a nutshell, FSC is the phenomenon that happens when women control their state while feeling stimulated or aroused and do not feel ready to allow themselves to be captivated by an attractive guy. If you’ve encountered a situation where everything seems to be going well, the vibe is good, and things are escalating fast... then out of the blue, the girl:

  • Disappears
  • Wants to go dance
  • Turns cold
  • Acts weird in general

...or any other action that communicates that she is actively trying to de-escalate the vibe. That's FSC.

It happens because she feels things are going too fast, she is losing control, or she is getting stimulated by a guy who she does not feel “allowed” to hook up with. By “allowed” we refer to social frame as defining whether a woman feels allowed on a social level to hook up with a guy. If you have a strong social frame, it will help overcome a lack of her feeling allowed to get carried away by you. It also makes it easier for her to backward-rationalize her attraction for you socially.

Today, let’s discuss other social reasons why women control their state when they are around you. We’ll focus on the social aspects like in my previous posts on social frame, but the reasons covered here are not due to a lack of social frame but something else, or the opposite. You might have too good of a social frame. Okay, this may seem counterintuitive, but everything in pickup can be a double-edged sword.

I will also try to suggest solutions for each of the causes.

Let’s get to it.

How to Take Women Home Without Having the Right Social Frame

Alek Rolstad's picture

overcoming social frame
Having the right social frame is important for making girls feel allowed to hook up with you. But there are ways to overcome social mismatches with pure awesomeness.

Hey, guys. Today we will discuss how you can get women and score social points at a venue or social gathering where you do not fit in.

Before I get started, a word of caution: this is a seduction blog about getting women. This advice is not valid for professional lives or other situations. It may apply elsewhere, but I cannot say for sure.

Try this out in venues and situations where you have little to lose socially and economically.