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Social Skills

Frame Control Methods to Get Women in Bed Fast

Alek Rolstad's picture

frame control methods
In this series of posts about frame control, we’ve learned what good frames are and why they work. Now let’s talk about the methods you can use to set frames.

Hey, guys! Welcome back.

In previous weeks, we have discussed what frames are, why they are important, and what constitutes a good frame versus a bad frame.

Here are those posts if you haven’t checked them out yet:

Hopefully, with those posts you’re now familiar with:

  • What frames are
  • Their importance not only in seduction but in every social setting
  • What defines good frames
  • How you can make your framing more powerful
  • How you can better control the frame

But after all this theory, I have not given contextual examples, which is exactly what I will do in this post. We will discuss different ways in which a frame is set. This will give you an idea of what framing looks like in real life.

Even though we will not go into heavy details of how each technique is used, rest assured that each has been addressed on Girls Chase (and there will always be more to come). This post serves as an overview and starting point. Maybe you will discover new ways to set your favorite frames.

Of course, the list I am about to share is not complete, but I would say that it covers the most common methods of setting frames. My point is – there are more ways. We will distinguish between a few here:

  • Verbal and non-verbal
  • Direct and indirect
  • Active and passive

You can set frames both verbally and non-verbally. For example, you can tell a story or talk about a subject that would help set a frame. However, note that frames can also be set verbally as a response to her actions. That is often a good place to work from, or you can work with what you have in that moment. We will get more into that, do not worry.

You can set the frame non-verbally as well through escalation and eye contact.

You can set a frame passively – through action or passive behavior that dictates the vibe. For example, when you build social proof, you will automatically frame yourself as a man with options who is pursued by women – a very attractive frame. But you are not directly setting a frame; it comes as a result of the context you have created.

Anyway – no more dwelling, let’s get to the meat.

I will first discuss direct ways (active) to set a frame before moving on to how to do it passively. Finally, we will discuss how to set a frame reactively.

How Frame Control Affects Your Entire Interactions with Girls

Alek Rolstad's picture

frame control and interactions with girls
In this follow-up article on frame control, we discuss – from a macro perspective – how the frames you set affect your whole interaction with a girl.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. If you read my previous article on frames (which you should, as frames and frame control are some of the most important concepts in seduction), you understand how pickup, dating, and seduction are not FULLY sequential processes.

Now, they are sequential to some extent – as you do open first, then hook, before eventually isolating, seducing, extracting, and having sex.

But it is clear that:

  • How well you open will have an impact on how easily you hook

  • How well you hook will define how easily you can isolate, build rapport, seduce, and most importantly, SET FRAMES

And here is the MOST KEY ITEM:

  • How well you set the frames will DEFINE EVERYTHING that follows, including how much compliance you will have, what you can and can’t get away with, how easily it will be to extract, how easy or hard it will be to escalate, how much resistance you will face, if any, and so on.

So, frames are important, as you can see. But what is also interesting is how pickup, seduction, and dating is a semi-sequential process. Yes, there are sequences to follow, but each sequence sets the pace, tone, and overall vibe of the upcoming steps. This is exactly what FRAMING does!

But you already know this if you read my previous post. If not, then you better check it out, as most articles on Girls Chase will make more sense after you do.

This post is a continuation. Now, if you know everything about framing, you may skip my previous post, but recaps never hurt.

In this post we will discuss the effects of frames on interactions – we will explain how setting frames affects the whole interaction – taking a macro perspective. What are good frames vs. bad frames and what roles do they play?

Next week we will move on to take a micro perspective and discuss how frames are set in the different sequences of an interaction. Let’s get on with it.

Why Frame Control Is the Most Important Tool in Seduction

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

frame control most important seduction tool
Frame control makes the difference between becoming her lover or getting stuck in her friend zone. If you want sex with the women you meet, this information is vital.

Hey, guys. Today I want to discuss how frame control can impact the entirety of your interactions with women, especially in terms of seduction and sleeping with the women you meet – rather than becoming just friends.

I will get a bit deeper into what effects frames have on how you interact and why it is key to set the right frames early. Failing to do so can make it very difficult to reach your goals with a girl, no matter what they are.

Many guys see seduction and pickup as a linear process – i.e., a set of techniques or steps that follow each other. To some extent, this is true – if you look at pickup from a micro perspective. But you cannot leave out the big picture – how each step of the process affects the others; or more importantly, how previous steps affect future steps.

This is so critical. It is exactly what most guys tend to forget about. Everything builds on previous steps. This post aims to explain how these mechanisms work so that you can gain a better understanding of your game and perhaps, in turn, better it.

To give you some examples of what I am talking about, consider the following:

  • Guy cannot get out of the friend zone – despite his efforts in applying the latest and most powerful pickup tech, he is still stuck there.

  • Guy meets girl, she laughs, touches him, but he totally fails to escalate – she is just not a sexual girl (so you think). Similarly: Guy has a perfect date – now faces last-minute resistance from hell.

  • Guy displays high social value, but all he gets is “take my Instagram” when interacting with girls.

All these issues can be caused by a failure in setting the right frames – or at least, avoiding setting the wrong ones in the first place. The frame you set when you meet will dictate the interaction and will only be amplified with time throughout the interaction(s). The more the frame is set (good or bad), the harder it is to get out of it.

In the case of the friend zone, the guy is stuck because he has been perceived as a friend because of his previous actions, but more importantly, because of the frames he has set through his presence, actions, and so on. And as times goes on, the frame becomes stronger and harder to get out of.

Many of you are familiar with what a frame is and how it comes into play, but for those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept, I highly advise that you check out the following posts after reading this one.

How to Avoid the Dating Pitfalls of Being a Good-Looking Guy

Alek Rolstad's picture

Avoid the Pitfalls of Being Good Looking
Good-looking men face particular challenges in pickup. How do you compensate when a woman acts weird around you or thinks you’re too cocky or out of her league?

Hey guys! Welcome back.

So, my two previous articles have been focused on debunking the idea that looks are the primary factor in success with women.

I have presented many different arguments for why looks are not that important. I’ve also given examples on how good looks can backfire, referring to the pitfalls and difficulties good-looking guys face.

And I think this was a good subject to cover. It is helpful for not-so-good-looking guys to understand the effects of looks and the place they have in pickup and seduction – and that looks are NOT everything.

The pitfalls good-looking men face is something VERY rarely discussed, and I believe it was a beneficial discussion. Admittedly, however, I have realized that in my last post where I covered the pitfalls and the difficulties good-looking men face, there was more of a pessimistic tone. As a matter of fact, it was far less than optimistic, and at the cost of convincing less-good-looking guys that being is was not always a good thing, I have probably left the good-looking guys feeling bad. The previous posts may in fact have generated negative beliefs about good-looking guys.

The truth is, being good looking has its benefits, but also its pitfalls. And like everything else in pickup, it is all a matter of calibration. If you are good looking, or even more importantly, good looking to her, you must calibrate accordingly.

So, to enjoy these benefits, you will have to know how to play properly, and this is what this post is about. Now, pickup in general is the same for everyone, and you mostly will have to calibrate according to the girl. However, this post can help you adjust your game to who you are.

How to Smooth Talk like a Pro

Hector Castillo's picture

How to Smooth Talk like a Pro
The gift of gab can be learned, but it involves more than just words. True smooth talkers master a range of elements that culminate in a complete performance.

Smooth talkers have a deep understanding of what makes a great conversation.

A conversation’s “smoothness” is defined by how it handles transitions – how it moves from one topic to another or goes deeper into a particular topic. It is also defined by how the conversation’s errors are handled (e.g., awkward points, miscommunications, etc.).

The fewer “errors” in a conversation, and the better those errors are handled, the more smooth a conversation will feel. But transitions must also lead somewhere – a conversation can be smooth but boring, and that’s not worth much.

Thus there should be good emotions involved. A conversation shouldn’t only be smooth and fun, but also enriching.

You want the other person – or people – to walk away having learned something, felt a great connection with you, and gained more respect for your character.

What’s difficult to teach about conversation, of course, is the details.

“What do I say?”

If you expect me to tell you what to say, you’ll be disappointed. What to talk about depends on the environment, the context, the people. The occasional anecdote can be great if the context is right for it. But going in with pre-fabricated conversations can backfire, because a good conversation is dynamic. Conversations are note speeches.

What matters most is being able to start a conversation, then keep it going no matter where it goes. Context is everything with a conversation. The ability to make the conversation interesting depends on your familiarity with the context, whatever it may be.

There is one secret that I learned to developing good conversational skills, but it is not in and of itself the answer, only a force that propels you. At the end of this article, I will reveal it, but in order to utilize it, you’ve got to know the basics.

So, to start, I will teach you a system to learn how to smooth talk like a pro. If followed properly, people will seek out your company, because they know the value and the positive motions that will follow in the wake of your presence.

Let’s get to it.

9 Ways to Answer “What Do You Do” Without Saying What You Do

Hector Castillo's picture

Answer 'What Do You Do' Without Saying What You Do
To avoid boring people out when they ask a question like “What do you do?” try answering the question without really answering it.

Learning the nuances of the most basic social norms is something most people don’t give much thought to.

In college, I remember spending a lot of time contemplating how to respond to that weird “Hey, how are you?” exchange that happens when you pass someone you know. Most of the time, they say “Good, how are you?” and don’t even listen as they walk past. Responding with “Good, thanks” is a necessary but useless response.

How do you make those interactions more interesting and less awkward?

I took the time to figure that out, and it helped a lot.

The same goes for the question, “What do you do?”

If you approach a lot of girls – which you should if you want to get dates, sex, and girlfriends – then you’re going to hear “What do you do?” a lot.

It will also come in other forms.

“What do you do for work?”

“What do you do for a living?”

“Where do you work?”

Your answer won’t change much, regardless. As long as you understand the basic root of what they’re asking, answering is simple.

So, what’s going on when someone asks “What do you do?” and how do you respond to it in a way that makes you interesting and cool?

Here are nine ways to do it without giving the typical, boring answer of what you actually do.

First, let’s go over why it’s boring to tell girls what you do – most of the time.

If You Want to Seem More Real, Show Some Vulnerability

Hector Castillo's picture

seem more real show vulnerability
It’s hard to relate to someone who shows no vulnerabilities – because we all have them. Showing your flaws can make you relatable, and even spark attraction.

The strongest men aren’t afraid to show vulnerability, and it makes them immeasurably more attractive. Vulnerability – and the expression of it by a strong man – give that man depth. It gives him realness.

You want to seem real, because even the most powerful of façades eventually fade. Preempting that revelation of imperfection with an honest display of vulnerability? That’s good stuff.

You will crack. I’ve never met a man who was 100 percent strong and stable. Even the powerful titans I’ve met have cracked in the past, and they will certainly crack in the future, even if I don’t see it.

I know this from being in the presence of many strong men and hearing their stories. I know it because I am one of the strongest men I know, and I crack more than you think. I just don’t always show it.

Until I do.

What’s important is how you express your vulnerability and when. First, let’s go over “good vulnerability” and “bad vulnerability.”

The Red-Black Game, Pt.2: Playing for Self-Preservation

Varoon Rajah's picture

red-black game playing for self-preservation
“Speak softly, and carry a big stick” was Theodore Roosevelt’s suggestion for how to play the Red-Black Game. Let’s talk about why it’s such a great strategy.

In my first article about the red-black game, we covered the mechanics of the game and how the choices involved reflect those we make in life.

We spent a great deal of time analyzing the implications of choosing black, which we use to build support, generate enthusiasm, and win together.

Now let’s look more closely at red and how self-preservation fits into the picture.

We concluded that when it comes to internal issues, where you want stakeholders to win with you, it’s best to play black. Trust, collaborate, cooperate, and play nice but firm. Alternatively, when you have an external issue, where you see a threat that you cannot move to your side, it’s best to play red. Compete, defeat, and do whatever it takes to win.

It’s important to keep in mind that not all people are out for the same thing or have the same values at the same times. Sometimes, circumstances beyond the control of one or both parties make it impossible or impractical to partake in mutually beneficial models.

Unexpected changes in the wind, the market, or personal circumstances can lead to legitimate fear and mistrust in everyone. Mutual benefit is not always a matter of trusting other people in a relationship.

You could trust someone implicitly, but can you always trust the security of the underlying situation, and can you trust that circumstances won’t change? The one constant in life is change, so you should expect and prepare for changes throughout your life.

The Importance of Vibe in Attracting Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

vibe and attracting women
Vibe is a HUGE factor when it comes to attracting women. Here’s how to tweak your vibe to more reliably spark attraction in girls, get them on dates, and into bed.

How important is maintaining a positive vibe when picking up women? Long story short, the difference in results between low-energy or moody men and positive-minded extroverts is night and day.

The best supporting data I know of is my own experience, which, as a dating coach, is varied and vast. But there are some case studies that convincingly illustrate the phenomenon, like this one about the “halo effect”:

 

In the video, two groups of women watch a dating proposal made by the same guy. But the guy makes two videos, one for each group of women. In each video, he uses the same script but with a different vibe.

He’s upbeat and expressive in one version, with good posture. In the other, he’s slouching, not looking at the camera as much, and speaking with a less-enthusiastic tonality.

The women who viewed the video with the upbeat vibe generally agreed they’d be down to go on a date with him. The other group, hearing the same script but with less positive energy, all declined.

Same guy, same script, different vibe (tonality, mood, posture, lighting). One video sparked no interest in the guy; the other sparked attraction!

Since attraction is the key factor here, let’s dig a bit deeper and discuss ways you can tweak your vibe to spark it.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.1: An Analogy for Life and Relationships

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

red-black game analogy for life and relationships
How you play the game of life will determine whether you win or lose. It’s nice if everyone could win all the time, but real life situations often make that impractical.

To close out my writing for the year, I’m going to take a hard look at human behavior in this series. I started writing this article back in January 2018 and, at first, it was one of my most positive – and unrealistic – articles to date.

It put it on the back burner for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, my life unfolded into the greatest whirlwind I’ve ever experienced, a result of the forces of trust and fear, as well as people striving to get what they want from me – and me from them.

When you interact with another human being, there are many elements at play. Two of the biggest are trust and intention. The combination of these two elements – how much you trust someone and how you perceive their intentions – has huge ramifications for how your relationships develop and endure.

This article is a little abstract, but I think it’s a nice model for pondering over how you interact with different people and entities. I’m going to show you a model for approaching your relationships with others for your long-term benefit, whether it be with men or women, in either business or social situations. I’m also going to teach you how to identify when to protect yourself from people who want to hurt, dominate, or take advantage of you.

I believe everyone can grow from this model, and it boils down to one simple thing – when you play a game, everyone wants to win. For you to achieve the strongest level of power in a game, you must ensure that everyone wins their game and are in control of that process.

If you cannot achieve this (i.e., if you cannot win together), then you must ensure that you read the threatening intentions of the other side correctly, successfully dominate the other side, and win against any aggressive threats.

This includes the dating game. Always structure your encounters with women so that both you and her win in the battle. Either dominate your competition or provide winning mechanisms for them, too. We’re going to analyze this by exploring the red-black game.