Lots of guys are horrified to go out alone when learning pickup/seduction. But once you get over your fear – and you will – you’ll see it’s the best way to get good.
I remember the first time I went to a club alone.
It was Montreal, circa 2007. I’d been into PUA stuff for about a year, taking little to no action other than reading blogs and watching YouTube videos, but I’d moved to Montreal for the sole purpose of mastering my game. I was determined and focused on fixing my sex life.
The only problem was, I didn’t have any friends or wingmen to help me. My normie social circle thought it was a weird and pointless hobby, so I said “Screw it!” and went out alone.
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”
That night, I went to a hipster club in the Plateau. It was packed with pretty college girls, drinking, laughing, and dancing with their friends. I stood there and felt all eyes on me.
My internal dialogue chirped away.
“They’re all looking at you. They know you’re alone. Why are you here? You should talk to someone. But what would you say? Isn’t it creepy to talk to strange women? Maybe go home and try again tomorrow. Come back when you’re in a better state. You don’t have to do this. Go and watch another video about what to say to women.”
Blah, blah, blah. The ego never stops. It wants you to be safe and to fit in with the herd. Feeling the judgmental eyes of all these strangers, I pulled out my cell phone and pretended to talk. Yeah, I mimed talking on the phone. I even acted out a laugh. Yep, I’m not alone! I’m just waiting for friends! Ho, ho, ho… so much fun!
Eventually, I just gave up, walked out of the club, got on my bicycle, and pedaled my pathetic ass home. That night, I made a vow – never again would I go out and at least not try. The next night, I went out and felt those same pangs of terror, adrenaline, and self-conscious doubt. But I remembered my vow. All I had to do was try… so I did.