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Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

How to Get Somewhere with a Girl: The Floors and Ceilings Method

how to get somewhere with a girl
It’s simple to get somewhere with a girl when you use the floors and ceilings method. Raise her floor, and raise her ceiling, and she will soon be yours.

I just talked to Alek about his neat new series on Female State Control. If you haven't read it yet, check it out (see the link).

When we talked about that, it brought up a way of thinking about how to get somewhere with a girl I've long had, but not discussed much. I've talked about it here and there, especially with deep diving and connection stuff. It's a sort of basic understanding of how progress with women works.

This understanding is what we might call 'The Floors and Ceilings Method'.

This method is very slightly complicated to understand. But not much. And once you have it, it gives you another dimension to understand male-female courtships with.

The method isn't limited to seduction. It also works with sales. It works with new friendship formation. Any kind of new relationship formation, especially where you want to get someone to do something, uses it. We'll focus on using it with women you like in this article, but it applies everywhere.

This is a simple method. I'll explain how it works, and you'll soon see how it applies to so many things.

Female State Control (FSC): Preemptive Measures

female state control
In our continuing study of Female State Control, we consider methods to avoid it entirely, including better calibration and focusing more on frame control than arousal.

Hey, guys. Welcome back.

In my previous post, I discussed a new and different form of resistance that we labeled Female State Control (FSC). This form of resistance is very common, different from the other more well-known resistance type called anti-slut defense or ASD. The difference is that ASD deals with her defense mechanism against slut-shaming and other negative social consequences related to female promiscuity.

FSC is a biological mechanism that helps women make rational choices about sex partners. Women tend to get easily carried away in their emotions, and that is usually beneficial to their purpose of nurturing and also grants them a higher emotional intelligence (EQ) than men. Strong emotions can help her make good decisions (emotions hindering rational decision-making is not always true; often, it is quite the opposite). However, when emotions seem to be too strong (too much of the good stuff), there is a potential risk of her getting carried away, hence increasing the chance of making an irrational choice.

We must understand that women are instinctively more risk-averse than men, partly because of the higher risks they may experience during pregnancy. Therefore, it is imperative that women are more selective than men when it comes to choosing a mate.

So, whenever a woman is getting carried away, she has an underlying conscious voice that forces her to pull herself out of situations where she can get carried away, by:

  • Resisting
  • De-escalating the vibe
  • Going to the bathroom
  • Having her friend cockblock her
  • And so on

These actions allow her to gain control of her emotions and make a rational choice. This is FSC.

Female State Control (FSC): Theoretical Causes and Effects

female state control (FSC)
Women have a built-in defense mechanism against losing control and screwing the wrong guy. Let’s investigate the groundbreaking theory of Female State Control (FSC).

Hey, everyone. I hope you are all doing great. Last week we discussed a key subject in pickup and seduction, namely anti-slut defense (ASD). We define ASD as the female defense mechanism against social consequences caused by perceived promiscuous behavior. In other words, a defense mechanism that protects women against the potential slut label.

ASD helps us understand some of the causes behind female resistance toward sexual advances (in addition to feeling uncomfortable with the person or situation or simply not being that attracted to a guy; the latter is more of a rejection than a form of resistance). This is why women sometimes resist your advances despite being clearly into you.

Today we’ll discuss another form of resistance. In the future, I will cover this in detail. This form is called female state control (FSC). It has been known, at least on an intuitive level by some top seducers, but it has neither been addressed publicly nor written about in much detail. It shocks me a bit that this phenomenon is never discussed, because it is a key factor with encounters and seduction. It isn’t some weird subject that only happens to top-end seducers in rare circumstances. Beginners will also face this issue, actually more often than the pros.

As mentioned, few will discuss what I mention in this article. I know of only one guy who has put words to FSC, and his article was about a different subject. And because this subject is not discussed often, little is known. I will be honest; this is the topic I talk about the most in my seducer circles, and we still have not figured it all out. I am therefore giving you the latest, cutting-edge theory. Some elements of FSC are closely related to other well-known theories from sociology, psychology, and biology.

Here at Girls Chase we normally stick to topics we know inside out. This will be an exception because it is still a theory in development. Therefore, I will only give you the basic elements here, and expound upon it later posts when we know more and have clarity. Certainly more data needs to be collected, but we're on it!

Girls Who Want You, vs. Girls Who Are Bored-but-Available

available women

There are, in essence, two main classes of women you can hook up with.

The first class is the women who just want you. These women find you attractive (some, even irresistible), compelling, magnetic. There's something about you they like -- or there might be many things about you they like. They're fascinated by you the moment you walk up, or they've grown attached to you over time as they've gotten to know you. They like you, and they actively want to date you, spend time with you, connect with you, be in physical contact with you.

The second class is women who aren't particularly desirous of you, but they are available to you. Many of these women are just bored. Some of them may be available because they're out to rebel, and you fit the "If I hook up with this guy, I'll really be rebelling against Mom/society/my overbearing boyfriend" idea they have in their heads. Some may be available to you for revenge. For some it might be because they want to have an experience. In each of these cases, these women don't want you or like you so much as they want some guy... and you happen to be the best guy available who makes it easy for such a girl to satisfy her mission.

We've talked about this before on Girls Chase. But I really want to dive deep in this article on the girls in the second class.

Because a lot of guys don't even recognize how many women are out there like this at any given time. The fact is though, if you're good with girls, a lot of the women you get will likely come from this class.

The Points of No Return in Seduction and Courtships

points of no return with women
Every courtship is a ladder of many steps, some of which are absolutely crucial to get anywhere. Failing to pass these points of no return will spell almost certain doom.

The basic premise of courtship with a girl is to always have forward progress; as fast as she allows you to move.

Part of being a smooth guy is knowing exactly when and how to push things forward. Whether you meet a sexy girl at night and quickly move toward intimacy in 15-20 minutes, or if you meet a girl in day game and meet her another day for a date, the primary goal is still to move toward sex and intimacy as fast she allows.

Assuming you’re on a date with a girl, or you’re out with her at night pushing things ahead, there are the key points you’ll have to pass to move toward intimacy. If for some reason you don’t push forward, or you don’t succeed, the entire encounter becomes undone and will likely fail.

These are the points of no return, where pushing for success is imperative despite any circumstances, because if you pass these points without progress, the odds of seeing the girl again are virtually nil.

Below I’ve laid out several crucial points to keep things moving forward with a girl. These all play into the basic idea of escalation windows. These are the windows in which you need to move toward intimacy, and they do not last long. Once they close and forward progress ends, she moves on, or backward-rationalizes that it wasn’t meant to be.

One breakthrough in my game this year has been to realize how important it is to win in these moments. Especially if you’re coming from a less aggressive “nice guy” background, your gut will likely tell you to play it safe in moments that actually require you to be bold, aggressive, and persistent.

Tactics Tuesdays: Watch for the Doggy Dinner Bowl Look in Women

doggy dinner bowl look
Women wear a specific facial expression when they want sex now. Keep your eyes peeled for it to get some easy wins.

There's a way a woman will look at you when she's totally into you and ready to go.

She tilts her head down. Her eyes widen. Her pupils dilate. Her eyebrows rise. She'll probably smile, and when she does, it looks like a childlike grin she can't control. You transfix her: she stares at you, looking like that, smiling like that, when you're not looking, and also when you are. If you stop speaking and just stare at her yourself, she'll stare back, with those transfixed eyes, longer than she normally would. You have the entirety of her attention. Her awareness radius has shrunk to you, and you alone.

She may face her body completely toward you. She doesn't have to, but she often will.

If she breaks eye contact, when she does it'll be to look down, even if she's usually the in-control sort who doesn't break eye contact down.

The nonverbal message you get from her as she does this is "I'm ready for it. Waiting for you."

The look is not sexy in the traditional flirtatious sense. It is not a thing a woman learns how to do. It is innocent, in a way. There is no practiced sensuality in it.

It's different from normal flirtation.

Instead, the look is wholly, strictly an involuntary expression that more says "I'm eager and willing" than it does "I'm flirty or horny." Eagerness and willingness are the key emotions behind the look. She is ready for whatever you want with her. She's handing herself over to you.

This look is impossible to mistake once you've learned to look for it.

If you haven't yet, it's one of the most absolutely essential looks to watch for.

As soon as you see it, it's 'game over' (in a good way)... if you notice and take action on it.

Why Women Make You 'Dead to Them' at Breakup Time

you're dead to me
Everything was great with her... and then out of the blue she went ice cold to you and treated you like as if you were dead to her. Why do women 'dead you out', and what can you do when they do it?

On the Girls Chase Boards, a forum member named Ramshead talks about a girl from work he's been sleeping with casually off-and-on for a year, who suddenly went ice cold on him:

So this girl seems to be mad at me for no reason. We work together and we have had issues in the past. We have been going out on and off since May 2018. No one knows we are seeing each other and it’s not in my interest since I’m fooling around with a few of the girls at the office and surrounding business. We both have made it clear we are not looking for a relationship. She has told me she cares about me a lot.

We went out this Saturday we had dinner at my place and went to the beach to talk everything was cool. We came back to my place and had sex and the next day we texted a bit.

But since Monday she has been ignoring me. We really don’t talk that much at work but we at least say hi or smile at each other. So im still warm to her and say hi but she ignores me or turns around. Yesterday an older lady coworker gave my department Hershey’s kisses. When the girl passed by my desk I said her name but she passed by really fast and I thought she ignored me or didn’t here but she came back and I offered her one and she accepted it and said thank you and left.

Today is when I confirmed she really is mad at me about something. We have an hour lunch and our lunches are 30 minutes apart. We usually run into each other on the street and walk around and talk for a bit. Today was different. I was waiting on the intersection for the light to turn green and I saw her on the opposite corner to my right walking on the green light. I wear sun glasses to walk around and I saw here look at me and pretend like she didn’t see me and kept walking. When my light turned green I crossed. I could have turned to my left and catch up to her but I decided to walk straight.

I’m not sure what’s going on. Is she already ending it, wants me to commit. I’m confused since nothing bad happened over the weekend.

This is a common female behavior that heralds an impending breakup. It won't necessarily always lead to breakup, if you catch it in time to resolve it.

But if it goes untreated too long, bad stuff is assured: cheating, breaking up, tantrums, etc.

I talked about this behavior before, in my article six years ago on emotional association and dissociation. When a woman loses enough faith in you and her relationship with you, she emotionally dissociates from you.

Today I want to talk particularly about the pre-breakup "you're dead to me" dissociation guys run into, though. Because it's an especially nasty sort of dissociation, can be quite distressing, and tends to blindside guys who don't know what it is or where it came from.

Anti-Slut Defense: Why Women Want Sex but Act Like They Don’t

anti-slut defense
For a woman, being promiscuous can be socially devastating, so she employs “anti-slut defense” to maintain a perception of purity, even if she wants to have sex with you.

Hi, guys. Today we will discuss theories of anti-slut defense – a key subject in pickup and seduction.

We’ve discussed anti-slut defense on multiple occasions – covering both what it is, what it looks like, and more importantly, how to deal with it. In this post, we will get theoretical. I will get more detailed into what it is, and especially – where it comes from.

Before we get into that, let’s explain what it is to our new readers. Hopefully it may serve as a recap to those who are more experienced.

How to Never Have a Sexless Relationship (the Sex Trump Card)

sexless relationshipOver the years I've seen friends go through relationships where after a while their woman stops having sex with them. When it happens, the guy is shaken; his self-esteem slides hard. When a man needs something, and is denied it by the woman he thought was there to be his partner for that thing and many others, his view of himself can crater.

I've never had to deal with a sexless relationship for long. A few times in the rockiest parts of soured relationships, I've had female partners do their darnedest to avoid sex with me. I reached a point with one ex like this where it would take me an hour or more of me doing everything I could to break through with her every time before I'd finally get some bone-dry vagina. I've had partners sour enough with me they'd completely dried up for me for sex (like that one), or sometimes firmly denied me for stretches of time.

But in the end, they always ended up pursuing me for sex and initiating on their own again.

I've had some longer relationships... some past the point where other friends' relationships have seen the sex dry completely up. I've had girlfriends whose libidos have waxed and waned. But me getting enough sex with them, except for short tumultuous stretches before I fix whatever the issue is, has never long been a problem.

This is a thing most people dread, the sexless relationship / sexless marriage. It's something when people fall into it, they become lost, confused, lonely, and hurt.

They don't know how to remedy it... and can't find a way out.

Yet, the most reliable cure for sexlessness is a simple one.

It's a position you can adopt that will motivate any partner who wants to keep you to be a whole heck of a lot more flexible with her sex life with you.

That position is this:

I completely understand if you don't want sex. But I NEED sex, and I'm going to HAVE it. If you can't provide it to me, I'll be sad, but again, I understand.

You will find out very quickly at this point whether she wants you enough to change the sex life... or whether things are so far gone it's time for you to hit the eject button.

Franco Lombardi – Gauging a Woman’s Comfort Level on Dates (Podcast)

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics, our podcast here on Girls Chase! Today once again I feature Franco, with whom I’ve done several podcasts – and they’ve turned out to be some of the most popular due to Franco’s special knowledge of dating and relationships. We met up in San Diego over New Years and talked about a girl’s comfort on dates, which is a sticking point I had late last year, where it was difficult to tell how comfortable a girl was on a date, which made it tough to move things forward.

Franco always tells me about his excellent track record on dates, as he was closing 9 out of 10 girls he would take on dates with him. What helps is his ability to gauge a girl’s comfort and where she is emotionally on a date.

Knowing a girl’s comfort level and emotions are key in the moment, as this allows you to determine what you need to do to move a date forward toward intimacy – and very importantly, when.

Girls also often give mixed signals to test a guy, and a good guy should know how to handle these tests as he moves the process along with a girl.

In this podcast, we talk about how to determine a girl’s comfort level early on a date, the adjustments in vibe we need to make to make her more comfortable, the adjustments we should make if an emotion is too strong, how to determine when a girl is comfortable enough for touch and what type, when to start and escalate touch, how to use sexual touch when she’s comfortable, and how to close at the end of the date – whether it’s just going for the kiss or pulling her home.

Here’s Franco…