Female Mind | Girls Chase

Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

Relationship Communication: The Olive Rule

relationship communication
Fights and resentment in a relationship can resolve... but not without the right communication. The Olive Rule gives you the ultimate tool to bust relationship roadblocks.

Jesus of Nazareth taught his followers one Golden Rule by which to live their lives, if they wanted to live harmonious, heavenly lives: do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.

It is a rule that appears in many of the world's great religions.

The dhama of Hinduism and Buddhism instructs not to do to others that which you would not want done to you.

Confucius instructs that what you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.

Among the Yoruba, a Nigerian tribe, there is a proverb that says, "One who is going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts."

While the Golden Rule governs actions toward another individual, there is a Rule like this that governs relationship communication, too.

This rule permits those who follow it to have happier, healthier, less stressful, more productive, closer, better relationships.

It removes the worst obstacles out of the way of relationship happiness between any two people.

And it makes both parties of a relationship view each other with a far more caring, understanding light.

It is a rule I've taken to calling the Olive Rule, and following it will change how you run your relationships.

How to Influence the Type of Guy a Girl Will Like

dating preferences of women
Every woman has her preference in men, and that can be frustrating if you’re not it. The good news is you can actually change her preference if you know how.

Guys often think a girl’s preferences in men are fixed and can't be shaped, that women already know what they want in a man, especially physically. This is true to an extent, but it is often wrongly assumed that certain guys with specific looks have an unfair advantage due to their appearance. Sometimes they do, but it's not always the case, and their advantage is not based on what you might think!

Take it from me, a brown guy who excels with white and Asian women.

I keep hearing complaints from guys stating that they want to attract a certain kind of woman, whether it’s an Asian woman, blonde woman, Italian woman, or any kind of woman, but cannot do so because of their race. They say these women have a racial disposition that heavily favors a different race. On the boards, men often comment that Italian women are racist and only want blonde men, or Asian women are racist and only want white men, and so on.

In a way, these guys are right. Girls are attracted to men largely based on physical appearance only. However, what these men fail to understand is that girls base their attraction entirely on their previous experiences. One of the most elite seduction skills you can learn is to know that, as a man, you have immense power to shape the tastes of the women around you.

What to Do After Sex to Keep Women Happy

what to do after sex
Sometimes you meet a girl you want to see again after a night of passion. What you do after sex has a huge impact on whether she’ll want to keep seeing you.

Most of my articles focus on how to get girls for sex, but many men want to know what to do after sex.

Some guys are so shackled by their perceived limitations (Broken Man Syndrome) that they’re surprised when, after sex, a girl may actually want to see them again.

Men with dreams of being players or having harems drop those dreams as soon as they meet a girl who’s a notch more attractive than they’re used to. So they revert, act a little needy, and the girl figures she was duped. “He must not be the cool guy I thought he was. Oh well… next.” Meanwhile, these men are back to cold approaching girls at the mall, chasing the dream of being a player.

If you stumble upon a great girl and want to keep her in your life, what you do after sex is as critical as what you do before it.

10 Glaring Signs When You've Blown It on a Date

blown it on a date
If you can't tell when you've blown it, it's very hard to fix mistakes. Look for these 10 signs to always be able to tell when you've lost a girl (and why).

Over the years of coaching men to do well with women, I've spotted many key differences between the men who learn fast and the men who flounder.

One of those differences -- the one we'll talk about today -- is the ability to spot the moment in an interaction with a woman where things go from 'filled with potential' to 'crashed and burned'.

No one has a perfect pickup streak for too long. Everyone loses girls, botches courtships, and slips up:

  • You approach a girl a wrong way

  • You say something to her that offends her and turns her off

  • You miss an escalation window she had wide open for you

  • You propose the wrong thing and she declines

  • You're too aggressive, or not aggressive enough, and she leaves in disappointment

Everybody does these things at least sometimes.

However, what I have realized over time -- and it surprised me at first when it really clicked that it was this way for some guys, and that this was the source of many of their struggles -- was that some guys have no idea where they blown it with a girl.

For many guys (myself included), the moment you get too far off track with a girl you get that gut feeling of 'whoops, that might've done it' and you say to yourself, "Oh drat, missed a move / did that wrong. She might be lost."

This is vital to the improvement process, because when you know where you messed up, it is easy to fix the next go-round. You might be able to fix it during this or on your next interaction with the same girl. More likely, if you really have lost her, that girl is lost, but you can do things better next time with an entirely new girl you do not make that mistake with.

For some guys though, these signs things have gone awry are invisible. Every failed date or approach or seduction is a guessing game for such a man: what could have gone wrong? Why didn't it work? He has no idea. He just knows the date didn't work... but somewhere in there, in that two hours he spent with her, she went from 'interested in him' to 'no longer interested in him'. He just doesn't know where or why.

If you want to improve with girls at any rate faster than a sloth crawl, you need to spot the moment you lost a girl. This is sign what tells you where there's something to fix.

My Truth About Women (And How Most Guys Have It Wrong) Part 2

truth about women

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Here’s part two of a remake of my old mASF article from 2009. In this polemic, I reflect on the current state of affairs in the community, and my challenge of the dogma of the time. I decided to remake it not only for nostalgic purposes but also because many thoughts are still valid today.

Of course, I’ve discovered other things as I grew older and more experienced. I also got some ideas wrong then. To make up for this, I will add my “current day” notes in italics.

Part 1 discussed pickup, street pickup, clubs, and my views. This time, I reflect on women, what they want, and what they are like.

I really challenge the current paradigm, and you can see how the perspective of the new paradigm (the school of sexual game) gives alternative explanations and theories. Although it had its flaws (which I will mention in my present-day remarks), it did explain much about value: being high value and communicating value. In my opinion, the sexual game perspective was better, and I still believe it is. It was not perfect then, but I think I’ve managed to explain its many flaws.

Enjoy!

My Truth About Women (And How Most Guys Have It Wrong) Part 1

truth about women

Hey guys. Currently I am writing down my life story from 2007 to today. Doing so, I got immersed in the past and revisited some great moments: crazy stories, amazing women, and all my great revelations about women and the art of seduction.

I also had some good flashbacks from the old mASF (Moderated Alt.Seduction.Fast) boards, the pickup community forum that used to be its main home, hosting all the big names in seduction.

I had joined this community in 2007 at the age of 15. I quickly skimmed through it. Being so young, I was a fast learner. But I also had little life experience, which seemed to be a curse, but it also forced me to think on my own. No experience meant no bias. So, I was always open to seeing the world differently.

I will take credit for being one of the pioneers to introduce "sex talk" not as a necessity to escalate the process into sex, but as a tool for creating attraction and compliance. By this, I mean:

Upon learning how to do these things, one could get laid with a much higher consistency. This was a different approach than what most guys were doing. I was getting plenty of followers, and many older members enjoyed my new, fresh ideas. But these concepts were also prone to criticism for contradicting the current beliefs back then, which included “Don’t verbalize sex.”

Nevertheless, the administrator of the mASF, Formhandle, invited me to join the elite forum called Masterminds, which was available to the public for reading, but where only selected members could post (Chase and Cody were also members).

What I’m sharing today is a remake of my first post there from early 2009 when I was 17. I’ll fix the spelling and may rephrase bad formulations. I'll also include clarifying "notes from the present" to show how my thinking has evolved.

So, here is part 1 of 2 of the remake of the old mASF article that was lost after its decline. Enjoy.

13 Things That Happen When You Date Experienced Women

experienced women
Dating an experienced woman can be a treacherous yet incredibly worthwhile journey. You’ll experience heartbreak and pure ecstasy. Prepare yourself.

I have had the pleasurable misfortune of not only sleeping with many experienced women but also dating one as a serious girlfriend.

And by experienced, I mean promiscuous. She's sexually experienced and has dated lots of guys.

Of course, there can be another definition for experienced.

She might be older and have had a handful of long-term relationships (LTRs). Though, a girl could be young and still have had a lot of boyfriends, even if they weren’t long-lasting relationships.

And even if a girl is older, it doesn’t mean she knows much about dating, but maybe she knows a lot about life. Or she could know a lot about dating but was relatively unslutty and had one or two LTRs.

For this article, then, let’s have three possible definitions of “experienced”:

  1. Older than you
  2. Many lays
  3. Four or more LTRs

Four LTRs is somewhat an arbitrary number, but I’d say four that last longer than a year makes one well-acquainted with relationships (though not necessarily skilled).

And, of course, these definitions are not mutually exclusive. A girl can have some, none, or all these traits.

I’ll address experience via these definitions differently throughout this article in terms of how they can impact your adventure.

How to Communicate and Connect with Women

how to communicate with women
Women don’t communicate like men, and most guys don’t understand that. Let’s boil down the things you should know if you want to stand out as a guy who “gets” her.

Women see the world differently than men do. My experience as a seducer has afforded me the chance to study these differences in great depth. Over time I have witnessed the sheer scale and extent of these differences and how they affect communication. But the ordinary guy is not born with this knowledge, and it is not that easy to grasp in the normal routine of life. I will break down the most significant differences and explain why communication is best done in a certain way to help achieve clarity.

Just like any other guy, I started out thinking: “Whether man or woman, the principles of communication are the same: be honest, talk directly, and expect the same from others.”

When I expected a response from women, I was surprised when women would not respond. On top of this, I expected attraction to work the same way for women as men and predicted they would want sex right away if they liked the look of a guy. So at first, I just asked girls directly if they wanted to go on a date, kiss, or come back to my place.

I can easily imagine my life if I had continued thinking this way. I would never have become capable of discussing profound topics with women and may have NEVER caught on to how to become as adept with women as I am today.

I caught on quickly through several strokes of good fortune.

Tactics Tuesdays: Telling a Girl You're Disappointed in Her

disappointed in youI had a chat the other day with a friend who'd caught his long-time girlfriend in a big lie.

She had promised him before she would not lie to him about the thing.

Well, she did lie.

And my friend wasn't sure how to deal with it.

He's an easygoing guy. And his natural inclination was to be understanding, and not make it a huge deal.

Even though it was, in essence, a pretty important deal.

On the other hand, he also realized if he let his girlfriend's lie slide, it'd be the wrong call... and he'd only be kicking the can down the road to deal with later (possibly in a worse way).

When we talked, he'd made his mind up to angrily confront her. He'd confront her, summon up some fiery anger, tell her caught her lying, and put the fear of God in her. That was the plan. She had to feel she'd done wrong.

He knew he had to enforce some kind of stricture here, or else his girlfriend would run wild.

And yet... he felt the plan was off.

He just didn't know what else to do.

Never Count on a Woman to Change (& Never Think You'll Change Her)

change a womanI talked to a friend recently and told him about a woman I'd dated with a short fuse.

She was in all other respects perfect.

Physically very beautiful. Very smart and highly educated.

Good career. A happy, positive, can-do person, with a charming personality.

More self-improvement-orientated than almost any woman I've met.

However, she had a very short fuse, and various things would set her off.

Once you set her off, she'd fly off into a (self-)righteous rage.

Her rage would last anywhere from 30 minutes to a few hours, then she would calm back down. A little while later she'd be happy again.

This short fuse of hers was inherited. Her father had it. Her elder sister and younger sisters had it. Others in her family did not have it, but those four did. At a family gathering I attended with them, all four set each other off and flew into rages against one another.

The sisters often tried to avoid talking with each other and their parents, solely because of their tendencies to set each other off like that. Everything else about their relationships were fine, but the anger they all boiled over into did not well mix.

I did everything I could, within reason, over the time I dated this girl to cure her of this fuse.

I thought for a while that with proper operant conditioning, I'd break her of her temper.

I was wrong, and nothing I did was a permanent fix.

The friend I mentioned this to is an optimistic guy who is good at approaching new women, but has trouble bedding them and hanging onto them. His relationships never work out. He's one of the 'hard case' guys I know and have talked about before on Girls Chase. It's hard to put your finger on it with him, but there are many little things it often seems like he does not really 'get'.

When I talked about some of the details of this relationship with him, he told me "Well, it sounds like you set up a pattern early on where this type of behavior was acceptable."

He added that it "sounds like you were encouraging this" or "maybe you subtlely like this."

He then admitted he'd dated a few dramatic women before, but "I quickly showed them I wouldn't tolerate that and they stopped doing it."

It was a little pop armchair psychology that on the surface sounds really good. Somebody does something you don't like? Just make it clear it's unacceptable, and she'll stop for good! Don't be weak or invite it back in, and you'll never have to deal with it again!

But, as I told him, people are a lot richer and more complex than this... and you simply wanting a behavior to change, and putting a few behavior modification procedures in place to try to change it, does not ensure you'll get the change you want.

Especially not long-term.

Far from it.

Rather, while you should do what you can to get your woman to change any undesirable behavior she has, you should never count on a woman to change... and you should never think you'll change her.