Female Mind | Girls Chase

Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

The Problem with Direct Game, Pt 2: Killing All the Intrigue

direct game problemsShe might've liked you. But go too direct, and you sap all the intrigue (and hence, the FUN for her) out of the seduction… right along with your chances.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week I discussed some widespread problems with direct game. We saw that by giving women too much attention, direct game over-validates them.

Whereas men seek validation through getting laid, women seek it through obtaining sexual attention – knowing they have managed to win a guy’s compliance.

When a guy is using direct game, he gives a woman exactly what she wants. And for this reason, the dating market can seem flawed and unfair – because women get what they want (mostly for free) from men, while men don’t.

Men can achieve balance when they are more careful in giving away the attention women crave so much.

Some of you may think giving women what they want will seduce them and make them compliant to you. Well, not so.

Consider the following:

  • Would you be more compliant to someone who had something you wanted and gave it away for free right away in abundance?

  • Or would you be more compliant to someone who had something you wanted and didn’t give it to you straight away, making you work for it?

The second scenario makes you most compliant. Since you have to work to get it, you are compliant to that person. That person will control the frame.

This is how seduction works, and this frame is acquired only through indirect and not direct game. Direct game is the former, and indirect game is the latter. And the primary resource women seek is attention.

Girls Who Cling vs. Girls Who Run Away

clingers vs. runnersSome girls are clingy. Others run away from you. What makes a girl a clinger or a runner, and what can you do to alter their behavior?

Sometimes guys will bed a new girl, then no matter their pre-sex frame, or what they did post-sex, or how they set expectations, the girls react in some odd ways anyway.

If you've ever had a girl you just slept with start acting like you're her Prince Charming and the two of you will doubtless soon go elope, or you've had a girl you had an amazing, incredible time with leave the next morning and never text or call you again, you know what I'm talking about.

In seduction, we train to have an "I am responsible for my results" mentality.

This is a necessary mindset to adopt for any improvement-oriented man. It's how you leave the victim mentality people in the dust.

Yet one of the things that can happen is men end up blaming themselves for results that are totally out of their control.

Clingy girls and elusive ones are a couple of the "things you can't really control."

What Power Men (Really) Have in the Dating Game

power in the dating gameWhat power do men have in dating? It may seem like women hold all the cards. Yet men have one special thing at their fingertips that women desperately crave…

Are men totally without power in the current dating game?

It could seem so to many.  Today I would like to discuss this subject while discussing what gives women that “power” and whether or not this ends up creating a skewed dating game.

Many of you will start seeing this article as some rant – but truth is, it is not. It will start of with the typical “the dating game is unfair” type of narrative – usually shared by the manosphere. However, I invite you to read the whole article, since I believe things are not as one-sided (and if you came here to get a confirmation for your flawed “the world is unfair” type of belief – you may leave disappointed).

As a matter of fact I will later in this article move on to discuss what power men actually have.

No, we are not talking about the typical “men have economical and political power” which is the argument most feminist would give.

Whether true or not (most likely some truth in it) is completely irrelevant to our discuss because whether there are more men making up the elite (political and economic) has very little impact on normal men’s dating lives.

In fact, when discussing the subject of equality (and inequalities) between the sexes, the subject is always surrounding political and economical power. Yet, we rarely see “legal” inequalities being discussed, most likely because the results of such discussion would be contrary to the current narrative (men are usually disfavoured in courts of law – especially in cases regarding parenting, etc.).

Although kind of relevant to pick up and seduction, political/economical/legal power will not be the subject of today's discussion, because it has little impact on actual dating strategies and the mating process.

Are Modern Women's Dating Standards TOO High?

women's dating standardsMany men today believe women's standards are too high. The reality is, women's standards have ALWAYS been high… or at least, women have always claimed this.

Again and again of late I've seen this argument that women's dating standards are simply too high.

That women expect too much of men, they want men who are perfect, and their standards are completely unrealistic.

Most recently, a reader commented this on my article about the source of 21st Century Western men's distinct lack of action and motivation, saying:

I dont think men dont have the drive to have sex; its just that womens standards are too high and most men dont make the cut. Most men are trying and failing to get laid, others have given up, and a small percentage is getting almost everything. We have to be realistic and acknowledge that most men are going to be average no matter what. The problem is that women have too many options and society allows them to go for the top men.

This is a common refrain from a lot of men's sites on the web.

women's dating standards“How's any guy supposed to have a shot in this day and age?”

But is it true?

Are you, indeed, condemned to suffer loneliness and deprivation, sucking up the scraps of women who fell off the tables of ALPHA MALES, those rare few men who get all the girls?

Is this simply your lot in life, assuming you're unable or unwilling to join the ranks of those few elite men?

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Respond to LJBFs

let's just be friendsSometimes you make a move on a girl and she hits you with "let's just be friends." Yet just because you got one LJBF doesn't mean you're out of the running…

You make a move on a girl or ask her out.

She looks you firm in the eyes, aaaaand... "I thought we could just be friends!" she tells you.

Just like that, the wind has sucked all the way out of your sails.

I guess you have to just be friends with her now.

...

...

...

I'm kidding. What point is there to that?

You're talking to her because you want her. Either to date her or to have a fun roll in the hay with her.

When she puts the "let's just be friends" (LJBF) frame on you, you're faced with several options... but not all these options are created equal.

Boyfriend Framing: Serious Guy vs. Casual Guy

boyfriend framingJust because you use boyfriend disqualifiers doesn't mean you're totally out of the running as a boyfriend. Many guys still act like boyfriends… yet don't even realize it.

An issue I've noticed guys have over the years is they stumble upon Girls Chase, they read about not coming across as a boyfriend, and then they try to present themselves as 'not boyfriends' without actually changing their vibes.

Typically what they do is they add certain things to their conversations that they've read will push them out of boyfriend contention.

But then they don't actually revise the rest of their conversation to take out boyfriend-y topics and remarks. And they don't change their presentation or delivery style any, so they still seem like boyfriend candidates -- except now they're candidates who also say some slightly un-boyfriend-y things.

So let's talk about things men do (without even realizing it) that make them come across as boyfriend candidates to the women they meet... even while these men think (in error) that they are "coming across like the ultimate lovers."

6 Traits of Women Who Like Short Men

women like short menMost women may like taller men. Yet if you know what traits to look for, you can spot the women who are open to dating shorter men… or who even prefer them.

Where are the women who like short men?

I used to watch this cartoon called “Invader Zim.” It’s about a jerk alien who’s one of the shortest in a society that places high status on the tallest members. The leaders of the race are actually called “The Tallest.”

The joke is obviously aimed at us, the human race, and our predisposition to give status to the big and tall. It’s tied to our DNA, I suppose. Men like women with thin waists, wide hips, and big breasts for baby-rearing. Women like big, tall, strong men to protect them from wild beasties in the night. We haven’t evolved all that much.

Does that mean if you’re under five feet tall, you’re doomed to dating other Hobbits? Are you going to be stuck traveling the yellow brick road, forever limited to other Oompa Loompas? Don’t fret little one.

Today I’m going to alleviate the insecurities of the countless vertically-challenged men seeking confirmation that they’re not doomed to a life of AI sex dolls and Cheetos. There's plenty of hope for your dating as a short man.

Yes, there are women who like dating short men. It’s not a niche you’ll find on porn sites (I’ve never looked), but thanks to something we call having “game,” any man can rise above (snicker) the competition.

How to Use Misdirection in Your Seductions of Women

misdirection seduction
A ubiquitous but under-discussed tool in every good seducer's skill set is the art of misdirection. Let's peek at how you can use misdirection to better seduce the women you meet.

One of the most enjoyable things about the art of seduction is how open it is to a variety of angles, all of them unique, and all encompassing fascinating aspects of human psychology.

We know techniques like cold reading. Deep diving. Chase frames. Sex talk. Screening and qualifying. Compliance stacking. Yes-ladders. Forcing framing. Resistance busting. And so on and so forth. All these tactics are a pleasure to use, and for the woman you use them upon, they're a pleasure to have used on her.

You see, women enjoy to be seduced.

If they didn't enjoy it, they wouldn't let you get away with it.

While uninitiated men think seducers are big baddies who trick unsuspecting women into unwanted intimacy, any veteran seducer knows the opposite is true. It's the low-skilled non-seducers who ply women with alcohol until their decision-making is impaired or snake their ways into women's trusts via the 'friend zone'.

Seducers do the opposite.

When you're a seducer, you're honest. Even when you're using your tactics, the woman still knows what your game is. She's not dumb. She plays along, however, because she likes it.

And we can use misdirection to play this game with her.

While it might have a bad rap as a tool of pickpockets and con artists, misdirection is also a part of magic shows, carnivals, and some of the very best books and movies out there, that leave you riveted to your seat and unable to turn away.

You can use misdirection to the same effect within your own seductions.

It will give you more success, and a lot more enjoyment.

Do Bad Evil Seducer Men Corrupt Innocent Women?

corrupt women
Was your pure princess corrupted by a dirty playboy? Does it really even work that way? We explore whether women are innocent doves, ruined by filthy, devilish men.

I've been meaning to write this article for a bit, and we just got another one of these comments. The comment was on my article where I talked about feeling sad when splitting with a woman, not knowing if she'll ever find another guy on my level.

The commentator naturally said this showed I was an evil man for dating women and ruining them for other men and that I should only do friends-with-benefits or something (as if that was something I was even interested in!).

So I guess now's as good a time as any to address this belief that some guys hold.

Namely, that women are innocent, dove-like creatures, who are tragically ruined by diabolical romance fiends (like me), who seduce them, capture their hearts like they've never been captured before, then boot them out into the cold, to never be able to truly love a man again.

It's a kind of reverse-Disney; Prince Charming, rather than making the Princess's dreams come true, transforms her dreams into bitter lifelong regrets.

Is this how it really works?

Why Men Lose Women: It's Not Hypergamy – It's Something Else

why men lose women
Many men think women leave them for a Bigger, Better Deal: a richer guy, a better-looking guy, a higher status guy. But hypergamy is not why men lose women. Instead, it's something else.

The other day, a friend shared a YouTube video with me from a guy on a channel called Entrepreneurs with Cars. The guy in the video (his name's Richard Cooper) seemed like an intelligent, thoughtful guy who genuinely wanted to help men, and I couldn't help liking him.

He made some points about women leaving men, and men's need to be aware this might happen, I thought were perfectly solid. He also has a bunch of nice little quippy phrases, like, "she's not yours, it's just your turn," and, "a woman should be a compliment to your life, not the focus." This is useful stuff for the ordinary clueless man to hear, although the advice is imperfect (I'll discuss why below); regardless, it's going to help wake a lot of guys up.

However, in this video, Cooper attributes the tendency of women to leave men to something you see strewn about the red pill / manosphere community: hypergamy.

That is to say, a very manospherian variety of hypergamy, better described as, "She's always looking for the Bigger, Better Deal."

It is when you stop chasing excellence, Cooper says, that women decide they're through with you.

You can watch the video here:

Women might not leave right away if you stop chasing excellence, he says.

Maybe it might take a while.

Nevertheless, once your pursuit of excellence ends, a countdown timer starts, during which you can either get back on track or get left in the dust.

Is this right?

Well, it's close... but it's no cigar.

Because it is not, in actuality, hypergamy -- nor even the end of chasing excellence -- that causes women to leave.

And there is indeed a cause, and it is indeed something you can control for.

However, the actual cause of why women leave is, in fact, something else.