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Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

How to Pick Up Girls with a Jealousy Plotline

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pick girls up with a jealousy plotlineA jealousy plotline can be a mighty tool in picking a new girl up. However, use it wrong, and you risk sending the woman you desire fuming off in auto-rejection. Follow 6 steps to do it right.

Jealousy plotlines are great tools for upping and maintaining attraction in situations where you can't immediately pull (or the girl needs more priming before the pull).

They set up competition for you between women. They get women laser-focused on you as the prize they're trying to win. And they preselect you to the hilt.

They are fantastic tools, used right, to pick girls up with.

There's just one problem:

If you're uncareful, women you run jealousy plotlines on can auto-reject.

The girl you want may decide you are simply too big a flirt... that you are only toying with her, with no real intention to escalate things anywhere with you... that this is just a thing you do with girls, where you suck them in for your own validation, then cast them aside.

More mature women will often just leave whatever venue they're in where they think you're 'taunting' them, and simply not reply to your messages after that.

Less mature women may try to 'get back at' you, by running their own jealousy plotlines... flirting with some other guy, touching some other guy, making out with some other guy, going home with some other guy.

But there's a way you can maintain a loud, clear signal to women you're running jealousy plotlines with that they are your prime choice.

You can keep yourself attainable, even as you leave women in suspense, wondering if they really will get you or not.

The thing you'll do is simple, but it sends a loud, clear message to the woman you want -- and causes the other girls you flirt with to switch into overdrive trying to win you over.

You Can Frame Your Way Out of Almost Anything

Chase Amante's picture
frame your way outWhen you run into a potentially awkward situation with a woman, you need to ask yourself: will she be the one who controls the frame, or will it be you who does?

How much of seduction is words, appearance, or actions... and how much of it is just frames?

If I walk up to a woman and she acts like she doesn't want me and I accept that frame, that was frames.

Likewise, if I walk up to a woman and she acts like she doesn't want me, then I persist with her in a charming way that conveys I know she really does want me, and she decides she finds me intriguing and starts to feel attraction, that was frames too.

If someone accuses me of something, and I accept the accusation and feel ashamed and bashfully apologize, that's frames.

Just the same, if someone accuses me of something, and I parry that accusation and making a convincing case that in fact I was in the right all along, and the other party backs down, well that too is frames.

Frames run as a constant undercurrent throughout all social interaction. If you've followed along with Alek Rolstad's latest series on frames, you know you can divide frames up into social and sexual, for instance. You know, from his series and our other pieces here on frame control, of various ways you can adjust, tweak, and impose your frames.

Good frame control consists of the expert interplay between known facts and offered explanations. If I saw someone grab my basketball and walk off the basketball court with it, and I believe he stole it and am about to alert the police officer standing nearby, you won't change my mind by insisting that I'm wrong and I didn't see it and that guy did not steal the basketball. However, you might change my mind by telling me he's a good guy and he only just took the basketball to reinflate it because it was low on air and getting flat, and that he'll be right back with it.

If you're telling the truth, you'll have saved a good Samaritan from a run-in with the police; if you're lying, you'll have allowed a thief to escape with my basketball. Either way, by pulling me into your frame, you have altered the course of events.

Frames won't always be as cut-and-dry as 'stealing or not stealing' either.

Many times what is being framed is something fuzzy:

  • Are you the prize or is she?
  • Is she interested in you or disinterested?
  • Were you committing a faux pas or did she commit the faux pas (or no one did)?
  • Whose views are more accurate: yours or hers? Or are both your views actually the same and she just did not realize it?

In the end, what determines how a great many things in your social life go is how good you are at framing: how expertly you frame, how well you tie the frames you establish to known facts and details, and how believably you convey your own belief in the frames you purport to hold.

Ambitious Women as Mothers & Wives? Their Pros and Cons

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

ambitious women as mothers and wivesAmbitious women can be very attractive. They can also be a real handful. But: are they any good as wives and mothers – or are they too caught up in their ambitions to be?

Some time back, a reader commented that he, like me, found himself drawn to ambitious, highly educated, and/or high-achieving women.

Now, I know a lot of guys are really into submissive women and they don't care about education or the woman's career. If you're that way, you can safely pass over this article.

However, if you're the sort who prefers his women smart and driven, you're likely to face the question our reader had for me when he asked about this:

As attractive as these women can be, are they actually any good as wives and mothers?

That's the question we'll examine today.

What Is a Social Frame?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

social frameShe has her own internal frame, and you would do well to reframe it, if it is in your interest to do so.

Hey guys, Welcome back!

Last week we looked at what a frame is and its importance in pick-up and seduction.

A frame is basically the same as a perspective - a lens through which you see and perceive the world. It stems from our own social constructions (i.e., internal frames – our sense of reality) and is deeply linked to our social identity.

Frames can be projected, becoming externalized. This happens when our internal frames are projected into the social space.

Since frames are socially constructed by default, they can also be deconstructed and reconstructed. This is key because it is the anvil upon which proper game is forged.

The interaction you have with someone has a frame – both you and the girl “convey” or “display” your own internal frames and contribute this way to the interaction. When your frames mesh, a new frame emerges.

Good pick-up skills involve being aware of your frames, her frames, and how to convey yours in a smooth way, reframing hers as negative (those that work against you at any rate) and so influence the new frame that emerges in the interaction between you and your interlocutors (for example the girl you're chatting with).

Why Experienced Women Reject Slower Moving, Less Calibrated Men

Chase Amante's picture
experienced women rejectDoes it seem like sexually experienced women are more likely to reject you if you’re less aggressive or don’t go for things right now? Expectations + experience are the reasons why.

We're going to talk about some fairly advanced attraction psychology in this article. However, if you stick with it, the responses you see from different types of women will start to make a lot more sense. It will also make even clearer to you the importance of moving faster and refining your calibration with women.

Commenting on my article about myths about women novice seducers often believe, a reader named Marco asked the following:

But in your experience so far, have you ever came across a girls ( "sluts") who will perceive you as too "soft" and sexually inexperienced if you asked them out on a date? Maybe its all in my head but i think there are some type of girls who reacts much better to sexually aggressive guys, might even say uncalibrated guys, who immediately suggest casual hook ups oppose to guys who want to take them out for a drinks?

Well, for one, I have, but, for two, it's not quite so black-and-white as one might think.

This article is going to be something of an unofficial companion to Alek's piece on the easiness or not of sexually liberated vs. sexually reserved women yesterday (haven't run it by him so I don't want to call it 'official'... but it's right up that piece's alley).

You can absolutely take sexually open women out on dates while still maintaining the sexually aggressive playboy frame. Likewise, it is possible to have sexually reserved women so amped up hoping you'll make something happen with them now that they become disappointed when you do not.

So, while sometimes open or slutty girls will look down on you if you try to date them rather than pull them, they may not. And while many times reserved girls will be perfectly fine with dates, from time to time they won't be.

What determines whether a girl likes or dislikes your attempts to pull her or date her?

A big part of it is the interplay between you, and your response to her signals.

Tactics Tuesdays: Social Circle Date Showoffs

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

date showoffGirls in your close social circle can be difficult to get with. You become a “fixture” to them and they won’t hook up (even if they like you!). How can you undo this? With a “showoff” date…

Most guys run social circles of some sort.

Often there are a few girls in your social circle who are good-looking but not super into you. Or they might be interested in you but they're not compliant enough you're able to get them out onto dates.

If you're also meeting women from places outside your social circle, there's a tactic you can leverage to use the power of preselection to get women in that circle chasing after you.

We'll just call this 'social circle date showoffs'.

It's both simple to do, and deviously effective.

Girlfriend with Borderline Personality Disorder: You Must Escape

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girlfriend with borderline personality disorderGirlfriends with borderline personality disorder can be the sexiest, most intoxicating partners you will ever have. They are also the most damaging ones you can have, and you should run.

Lately I have been hearing from more and more guys dealing with girlfriends afflicted with borderline personality disorder.

The story is always the same: the guy is crazy about this girl, he's never had a relationship this intense, the sex is off-the-charts good, but this girl is completely wrecking his life.

Usually guys know these girls are trouble and are trying to get themselves away. Sometimes they have already gotten themselves away, but they are struggling to keep themselves away. Occasionally they don't want to break up with these girls and just want to know how to fix them (spoiler: you can't).

Today's article is a public service announcement for the Girls Chase audience and the broader general Internet that if you have a girlfriend like this, you probably need to cut the cord sooner rather than later... if only to save your own soul.

Resistance Is Not Rejection (Rejection Part 2)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

resistanceResistance is not rejection. Pros know this and calibrate accordingly. Novices think it's the end of their chances with the girl they're talking to.

Editor's note: while this is Part 2 of Alek's series on fear of rejection, we mistakenly published it first. You can read Part 1 here.


Hey guys, welcome back!

Last week I discussed how to counter different forms of anxiety regarding “making a move” with girls, whether we’re dealing with:

  • Approach anxiety

  • Fear of escalating the vibe

  • Fear of going for the kill (attempt an extraction)

Some of you have experienced great results through affirmations and other techniques (inner game). Others have conquered anxieties with meeting women by repeatedly exposing themselves to rejection.

I won’t deny that for some, these strategies may work. However, they simply don’t work for me. I’m a practical guy; I want practical solutions to my problems. Whenever I know that I have an answer to any potential difficulty I may face, I feel more comfortable and less anxious about the situation.

It’s from this point of view that I decided to write a two-part series on this subject. Last time we discussed the many causes of resistance and rejection. Being aware and knowing how to avoid these issues will grant you better results and allow you to feel more confident and relaxed since you know you can potentially avoid resistance and rejection.

Resistance may still occur, but with my advice, it can be a lighter form that is less hostile or scary. More importantly, that “lower caliber” resistance (sometimes facing resistance is simply unavoidable) will be easier to deal with.

That alone should make you feel more at ease with making a move (that’s the message from my last post). But what if you could prevent the mistakes that trigger resistance and deal with it whenever it bears its ugly face? What if you could turn resistance around to your benefit?

Would making a move seem scary then? You’d not only know how to prevent resistance (the subject of my last post) but also know to circumvent it and turn things around. There wouldn’t be any lingering fears, or they’d be greatly minimized. Worst-case scenario you’d enjoy the practical benefits of doing things right, which would give you better results.

Today I’ll discuss how you can learn to handle resistance and turn it around, listing the different strategies. I won’t write about anything new here but will share some basics in a new light so newer readers can take the message and get more results. More experienced guys may view this post as a good recap.

Womanese: "I Didn't Want It Anyway!"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

womaneseEver have a woman imply she wants something… then later change to say or act like she “never wanted that anyway?” Does it mean she actually didn’t want it… or is she auto-rejecting?

Here's a place I see guys get tripped up a lot.

A woman they're courting or in a relationship with suddenly starts acting like she isn't interested in moving things forward with them. So the guy concludes, "I guess she isn't all that interested after all," and moves on to the next girl.

Meanwhile what was actually happening was the woman had started to auto-reject.

But she actually did want the guy to move things forward with her.

She only started acting like she didn't when she thought he wouldn't.

Tragically, things fall apart due to a miscommunication between the two... yet this miscommunication is all too common.

Why Women Don't (and Can't) Wait for You

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women don't waitYou were just about to ask her out. You were just about to make a move. You were just about to make the relationship serious. But women don’t wait for you. Why must girls be so impatient?

There's a recurring theme you see when you're in this industry long enough.

Well, actually, you see a lot of recurring themes.

But one of them is guys complaining about how women don't wait for them.

Men complain that women don't wait for them across so many domains:

  • "I wanted to ask her out, but it's like she lost interest and moved on. Why couldn't she wait for me?"

  • "We were having such a great conversation, and I was getting ready to make a move, but the emotions changed and she left. Why didn't she wait just a little longer for me?"

  • "I'd been talking to this girl for weeks and had some really great dates with her. Then she texted me she'd started seeing someone else. I thought we had a great thing. Why didn't she wait?"

  • "This girl and I were dating for five months. She kept asking me how I felt about her, and I didn't really have an answer. Then eventually she began to pull away, and broke up with me. I just realized I'm crazy about her. I want to give her everything she wanted, but it's too late. I don't understand why she didn't wait for me?"

Long-time readers know the first part of my answer: attraction has an expiration date.

Just because she's into you now doesn't mean she will be four hours from now if you don't take advantage of it while it's there.

But what about for the guys who are in relationships?

Why do women ditch guys they've been dating for months, who were just about ready to offer that next step up in the relationship those women had sought?

Is there any relation between women not waiting in relationships, where they're already intimate with the man, and women not waiting for men they're not yet intimate with?