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Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

Why Women Don't (and Can't) Wait for You

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women don't waitYou were just about to ask her out. You were just about to make a move. You were just about to make the relationship serious. But women don’t wait for you. Why must girls be so impatient?

There's a recurring theme you see when you're in this industry long enough.

Well, actually, you see a lot of recurring themes.

But one of them is guys complaining about how women don't wait for them.

Men complain that women don't wait for them across so many domains:

  • "I wanted to ask her out, but it's like she lost interest and moved on. Why couldn't she wait for me?"

  • "We were having such a great conversation, and I was getting ready to make a move, but the emotions changed and she left. Why didn't she wait just a little longer for me?"

  • "I'd been talking to this girl for weeks and had some really great dates with her. Then she texted me she'd started seeing someone else. I thought we had a great thing. Why didn't she wait?"

  • "This girl and I were dating for five months. She kept asking me how I felt about her, and I didn't really have an answer. Then eventually she began to pull away, and broke up with me. I just realized I'm crazy about her. I want to give her everything she wanted, but it's too late. I don't understand why she didn't wait for me?"

Long-time readers know the first part of my answer: attraction has an expiration date.

Just because she's into you now doesn't mean she will be four hours from now if you don't take advantage of it while it's there.

But what about for the guys who are in relationships?

Why do women ditch guys they've been dating for months, who were just about ready to offer that next step up in the relationship those women had sought?

Is there any relation between women not waiting in relationships, where they're already intimate with the man, and women not waiting for men they're not yet intimate with?

Tactics Tuesdays: Strategic Commitment Escalation

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

strategic commitment escalationYour girlfriend is hinting she wants to get more serious. But she won’t ask outright and you won’t go out on a limb yourself. How do you not chase – or ignore?

It's always a bit fraught dealing with the "how much does this person like me?" "how serious should this relationship be?" question.

You'll notice most people of both sexes will dance around this issue. There's a lot of tentative feeling out of the other partner. Both sexes hesitate a lot, miscommunicate, and make incorrect assumptions.

There's a reason for this: by being the first to put yourself out there and 'show all your cards' in a relationship you run the risk of all kinds of unpleasant things:

  • Maybe the other person doesn't like you as much, and feels like you're coming on too strong when you do

  • Maybe the other person likes you a lot more, and feels disappointed at how uninterested you seem to be

  • Maybe you totally misread the other person and actually s/he was happy the way things were and didn't want the relationship to escalate

Any kind of escalation of commitment is in fact a minefield where it's all too easy for any misalignment between the parties to blow the whole thing up.

So it's no wonder this is a difficult step for your average relationship.

However... there is a little tactic you can use to navigate this step a lot more fluidly.

Looks-Money-Status: Are They the Key to Dating Success?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

looks money statusLots of guys sweat that looks, money, and status are near-prerequisites to access the best girls. Are they?

Hey guys. Welcome back!

10 Dumb Myths About Women Newbie Seducers Often Believe

Chase Amante's picture
myths about womenMen believe a lot of weird/baseless things about women that aren't broadly true. Shed these female myths aside, and be free.

If you're a seduction newbie (i.e., you're new to meeting and getting together with girls), I can guarantee you you have some objectively very silly beliefs about women that don't hold water at all.

It's not your fault you have these beliefs, nor are you dumb yourself just for having them. When the brain lacks real world experience in a thing, it picks up 'experience' by observing other things around it.

And our real-world media environment is just all kinds of stupid with the spin it presents on things.

The beliefs men absorb from the media they watch tend to be almost exclusively wrong. There is very little media out there that actively depicts male-female relations.

So you get this situation where men have limited and also shallow real-world experience with women, while meantime getting bombarded with garbage fiction messages from media, and you can't blame them for forming a bunch of inaccurate beliefs about female nature.

In this article, I'll do my part to expose those myths for what they are: myths.

That way you, as a guy going out there to chat up girls, can set these weird and harmful beliefs aside, and start meeting women.

(the image at the top of this article is not to suggest women don't sing siren songs, by the way. Some women certainly do. It's just a cool image of sirens, which are obviously mythical female figures, so it fits the spirit of the article)

How to Disarm Feminism in Your Girlfriend or Wife

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girlfriend feministWhen your girlfriend (or wife) starts bringing up feminist talking points, you need to know how to respond. Here’s how to defuse these and get your relationship back on track.

This is going to be a somewhat in-depth article, with a deep look at the full (i.e., millennia- and civilization-spanning) history of feminism.

The purpose is to give you a broad, complete, and meta-view of what feminism is, how it arises, and what its function is in a civilization, so you can break out of male-female power struggles and get the women in your life to take a sweeping historical view of feminism as part of a natural cycle, rather than a more basic/low level "Fight the patriarchy! Permanent progress for the first time ever!" view.

Before we get to the real history of feminism though, first let's talk about why you'd need to talk a girlfriend or wife out of feminist leanings.

No matter your political beliefs, it is a self-evident fact that there is a certain branch of feminism that is toxic to male-female relations.

Some feminist views are fine, and not all of it is bad. However, there is a very vocal chunk of it that is acidic to happy relationships.

Girl Hunting: Pickiness vs. Selectiveness

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl standards pickyMany guys are ‘too picky’ with girls. They ignore good-looking and great girls. Then end up alone, or stuck with girls who are bad news. You must escape this trap.

Here's a couple of concepts I want to differentiate for newer (and maybe some not-so-newer) guys:

Those of pickiness vs. selectiveness.

If you've read my stuff on screening for both long-term commitment as well as for girls you'll hook up with in one-night stands, you know how much I harp on screening out girls who aren't a fit and/or will cause you problems.

I've cited science that shows men are a lot less discriminating about the women they start relationships with than women are men, and that men look for red flags a lot less.

In other words, men are a lot more likely to stumble into relationship quicksand.

However, there is a flip side to all this discrimination you want to employ as a dater, and that is this: if you are too picky about the wrong things, you can also stunt your growth as a seducer and make it nigh impossible to get enough experience to progress.

This is the double side of being discriminating: you must be discriminating enough, without being too much so.

You must be selective without being overly picky.

Women Are Totally Obsessed with Sex (in Many Ways More So Than Guys)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls horny all the timeSome guys seem to think women are ‘innocent’. The actual fact is women are obsessed with sex. They think, talk, and fantasize about it constantly.

Look closely at the picture on the right. What do you see?

I circled it for you. There just below this girl's hand. See it?

It's a dildo.

For all you guys worried about your penis size, you might want to pay attention to the size of that dildo too. That water bottle is 7". The dildo is at least an inch shorter than it... actually possibly a bit more than an inch shorter.

There is this misconception among sexually less experienced men that women don't actually get horny except in extreme situations.

"Only when she meets just the right guy... and he says just the right things... and takes just the right actions... does a woman get horny..."

Women do upkeep on this misconception themselves, talking about how "men are always horny, OMG" or "all men think about is sex" or "why are men so much hornier than women."

But the truth is, women are total horndogs themselves.

You might not believe it (yet) if you're not that experienced with them.

However, once you get out of the illusory la-la land men are in before they gain experience with women, your eyes will start to open more and more, and you'll realize the vast majority of women -- including the sweetest, cutest, most innocent of gals -- really love themselves some cock.

What It Means When She Says She Wants an Open Relationship

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

says she wants an open relationshipWhen she says she wants an open relationship, does she mean it? Well, with women, things often have double meanings.

We had a forum thread recently where a member revealed his girlfriend of four years requested an open relationship.

He wasn't sure about it, figuring it might not go his way. But he said yes to it, and some misadventures followed: his gal started getting boinked by other guys, but then our forum member ended up shagging a few girls, then meeting a girl he started to fall for.

The 4-year-girlfriend, previously feeling liberated over her newfound sexual freedom, changed her tune once her beau fell for a woman of his own, and decided she wanted to close the relationship back up again.

Our hero argued with his woman, drama ensued, and ultimately he broke up with her.

I've seen a lot of relationships switch from closed to open over the years, and it is always a drama-filled process, not for the faint of heart (or those who don't like having their hearts torn up and dashed around a bit).

A lot of guys think they can handle it. Some can... for a while.

This article's about what it means when your girlfriend or wife asks for an open relationship.

We'll talk a little bit about whether you ought to give her that, first, too.

Women Don't Care About Your Insecurities

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

your insecuritiesWomen don't know your insecurities or care about them. So be free. Let the past go, and go get the girl.

In the dating community, there's always this debate about inner vs. outer game, technique vs. belief.

The truth is, they're symbiotic. Where would the bee be without flowers? It would just buzz around and die.

Tactics Tuesdays: Tease-Tease Game for Girls Who Are Teases

Chase Amante's picture
tease-tease gameHow do you handle a girl who's a tease? Well, simple… you tease her back (and get her to chase).

How do you handle the girl who's a genuine tease?

If you do nightlife, you'll meet those girls who are hot but also extraordinarily flirtatious teases. They come up to you, act flirtatious, seem interested, then turn cold and walk off.

15 minutes later they're back flirting with you again. Then a little while after they're off being cold again. You see them flirting with another guy. Then they're back flirting with you. Then off flirting with him again.

These girls thrive on the drama of feeling desired and feeling the power of being able to confuse and mesmerize.

They live in the nightlife scene and have figured out that pitting multiple men against each other for their affections even if indirectly is extremely powerful. They understand once a guy is sucked in he'll watch them, and he will see them flirt with another guy.

They know that there's nothing he can do at that point but watch, helpless, as she flits back and forth between him and the other guy (or guys).

Or... perhaps there's something he can?

Today I'll show you how to run a sort of game I call 'tease-tease game' -- which is, basically, way to tease the teases to the point they zeroed in on you.

First though, let's take a look at how guys usually respond to girls who are 'cockteases'.