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Dating

Dating with Herpes, Pt. 1: Dating Strategies

Alek Rolstad's picture
dating with herpesIf you get herpes, does it mean your dating life is over… or you’re condemned to “condoms forever”? In fact, you can be responsible, while still leading a good life.

Hey guys.

I will be deadly honest here. I never thought I would write this post. But I keep getting messages on forums about it. I even got emails about it, and very experienced seducers have asked me about this (I won’t mention names out of respect).

The herpes simplex virus causes herpes, a very contagious virus that gives those nasty bumps that ulcerate, and then you get those tell-tale sores. Yes, a cold sore is a herpes virus. There are two strains of herpes: herpes-1 and herpes-2. Herpes-1 is commonly seen on the lip, and herpes-2 shows up on your dick and balls.

However, you can get herpes-1 on your dick and herpes-2 on your mouth. So, the distinction between the two is not that important. What is important to remember is:

  • They both can be painful and have similar symptoms.

  • They are both very contagious.

  • They both have a pattern of flare-ups followed by periods of remission.

  • Herpes is almost not contagious during remission.

  • Herpes is very contagious during flare-ups (especially when you have a blister or an ulcer).

  • Condoms limit the odds of transmission but do not protect fully (unlike HIV and other STDs, for which condoms offer nearly 100% protection). Condoms are also not good protection against HPV (human papillomavirus), which can give you nasty warts.

  • Flare-ups usually last between one to two weeks but can last longer.

  • You are more contagious when you have ulcers and blisters.

  • Both types respond to treatment with Acyclovir or Valacyclovir.

Symptoms: Herpes usually starts with some redness, and you may feel a bit of itchiness. Then, a few large blisters form, or you may see a cluster of smaller blisters. The blisters burst and develop ulcers, which can cause scars if the sores break open.

You are most contagious during the ulceration phase, but during this entire phase, you will be contagious, too infectious in my opinion, for sexual intercourse.

In remission, the odds of transmission are minimal.

Arousal vs. Similarity

Chase Amante's picture
attraction vs. connectionArousal excites a girl with desire for you. Similarity fills her with trust in you. Yet most men focus more on one than the other… so, what happens when you do?

In romance, many men focus more on arousal, while many others focus more on similarity.

Arousal guys do a range of things to excite the women they talk to, such as:

Similarity guys do a range of things to make women trust them more, like:

Both sides of a courtship are powerful, attractive, and necessary.

However, many men favor one area much more than the other, leading to what we might call 'lopsided seductions'.

I'll explain.

“20% of the Men Are Doing 80% of the Dating”

Chase Amante's picture
20% men20% of the men are getting 80% of the women. But are they? We play it out, going step-by-step, looking at all the numbers.

"20% of the men are doing 80% of the dating."

Such goes the conventional wisdom pumped out of the manosphere these days.

I have heard this statistic bandied about just about everywhere, including by guys in our own community.

It's ubiquitous.

However, I've never seen anyone actually work out the numbers on it.

What would a city look like if 20% of the men did 80% of the dating?

You need a fairly good grasp of the 80/20 principle (also called the Pareto principle, first identified in 1896) to really understand this.

I recently reread the book 80/20 Sales and Marketing, by Perry Marshal, a force behind the re-popularization of the concept in the mid-2010s.

First, I'm going to introduce you to how 80/20 works.

Then, we're going to put all the single people in a hypothetical city into 80/20, and we'll see what that looks like, and how closely it matches what we see in the modern sexual marketplace.

What an Average Girl's Dating History Looks Like

Chase Amante's picture
girl's dating historyWhat do women’s real dating histories look like? Do they hook up with tons of different guys… or are their romantic pasts, in fact, rather plain?

Today I'd like to de-mystify women's dating histories a bit for you.

There seems to be more confusion and misunderstanding between the sexes than ever before today. Which is sort of ironic, given how the Internet is, in theory anyway, a communication medium. And so many of us now spend so much of our time surfing around on it.

Often as a man you might get ignored or rejected by a girl and think she thinks she's too good for you. But very often that's not what's happening at all.

Instead, most often, it is simply that you are not her type.

As you get better at seducing women, you will better be able to break women out of their types and suck them into dating you.

However, you will still find that many of the girls you end up with dated guys before you who share some similarities with you, and date guys after they're done with you whom you share similarities with too.

Why does this happen?

Let's take a jaunt inside the female mind.

Tactics Tuesdays: Venue Mood Transitions

Chase Amante's picture
venue mood transitionsEnvironment has an outsized impact on mood. The right environment can almost seduce a woman by itself. By transitioning venues well, you can enhance a seduction.

How do you get a woman to change her mood?

The easiest way is by putting her into the right environment. Then you get to kick back and let the environment do the work.

Men create (or attempt to create) seductive environments for women all the time:

  • They dim the lights and put romantic music on at home

  • They take girls places they hope will set the proper mood

  • They switch from one venue to a more intimate one as things progress

Yet for all this awareness, a lot of guys have a blind spot a lot of the time to the influence of environment.

The environment you're in plays a BIG role on the mood of your woman.

The more seductive the environment, the less work you must do to maintain a seductive mood within her.

Thus, the better a job you do managing the environments you find yourself in with women, the more effective a seducer you will tend to be.

Texting 101: Do Manipulative Texting Tactics Work?

Chase Amante's picture
manipulative texting tacticsIf a girl’s not responding over text, should you resort to “texting dirty”? While dirty texting tactics can work, there’s a better, non-dirty way to get a response than these.

A reader emailed in recently to ask my opinion on several texting tactics he'd come across. One was from a texting course called "The Scrambler", while the other is from a negotiation book that uses a tactic to force a "no."

Seduction advice often gets a bad rap as 'manipulation', even though most of it's not. I've talked about this several times over the years, including in "Is Seduction Wrong?" (also in "Do Bad Evil Seducer Men Corrupt Innocent Women?").

However, there's a kernel of truth in every stereotype, and the reason seduction so often gets classed as manipulation is because there are men out there who use dirty manipulation tactics.

They use these tactics because they CAN work... but there's a "but."

The "but" is that they don't work as well as superior non-manipulative tactics, and that even when they do work they tend to trigger resentment toward you.

Both the tactics our reader stumbled upon were tactics I consider negatively manipulative. I'll introduce you to them, talk about why they're negative, and discuss some alternatives in this piece.

Why the Best-Looking Girls Are Out During Daytime

Chase Amante's picture
day game beautiful girlsIt’s easier to get more attractive women during daytime than anywhere else (nightlife, apps, and so on). Why’s that so – and just what makes the daytime different?

Note: I'm doing a little series on day game articles, in anticipation of the launch of Hector's new day game course, Meet Girls Everywhere.

Screening vs. Qualifying Women: Do You Always Want Her Qualifying?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

screening vs. qualifyingYou can use screens to get women to qualify themselves to you in order to boost rapport. That’s great for investment. But what if you actually care about whether she passes a screen?

I can hear you already:

"But Chase, I thought it was screening and qualifying women? Not screening versus qualifying!"

Ordinarily, yes. This article's about a slightly different tack, however.

In much of usual seduction practice, screening is a tool to get women to qualify. Or a tool to see whether women are invested enough to qualify.

For example, you tell a girl, "There's nothing like a good adventure. Going somewhere new, doing something novel, trying some unique food or experience for the first time. I love it, personally." That's an implied screen.

When you screen her like that, assuming you already have rapport with her, there's a fair bit of pressure on her to qualify herself and answer, "Yes, I like adventure too."

Even if she's the opposite of adventurous, she's going to feel pressure to tell you, "Yeah, that sounds nice," just to avoid breaking rapport.

As she qualifies herself to you like this, she complies with your frame.

If she doesn't qualify herself, it's an indication she may not be that compliant with you just yet.

Either way, this is helpful for your seduction.

But there are certain times you aren't going to want a woman trying to qualify herself to your screens.

Sometimes, you are using the screen to actually screen for whatever it is the screen's about.

And if she starts qualifying herself, instead of giving you the straight truth, she'll be investing, but you aren't going to be getting what information you're after.

Looks-Money-Status: Has the Game Changed?

Chase Amante's picture
looks money statusThe world’s changed, and so has the game… for some men. But the changes to the game that’ve come to looks-status-money men haven’t come to all men. Why’s that so?

On my article about your opinions of women betraying your success (or lack thereof) with women, a reader writes

Hey Chase,

When She Doesn't Seem Ready for It to End, Use Interaction Extensions

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

interaction extensionsWhen you’re about to let her go, yet she still hesitates, she may not be ready for things to end. Rather than end them there, you can extend your interactions… and go further.

You approached a girl on the beach, chatted, flirted, then took her contact info. Then, as you were about to depart, she looked at you, hair fluttering about her face in the wind, shy, hesitant, as if she wanted to say something, or was waiting for you to.

You approached a girl on the train, chatted, flirted, and took her contact info. As you arrived at her stop, three stops before yours, she seemed hesitant to leave, pausing, waiting, leaving dead space in the air as she stared into your eyes.

You approached a girl at a bar, chatter, flirted, moved her a bit, and took her contact info. As you prepared to return to your friends, she fell silent, gazing at you, as if wanting you to do something other than what you were.

You took a girl onto a date, connected with her, laughed with her, bounced her to the second venue you meant to bounce her to, and finally moved to wrap up the date. Yet as you told her you had a great time, she got quieter, told you that yeah, so did she, then lingered, not leaving, not turning away.

When you encounter situations like these, where you've made the approach or taken the girl onto the date, yet she hesitates at the end of it, waiting on you expectantly, surprising you (because you expected a nice simple cleave from the interaction here), what can you do?

The simplest answer is extend the interaction... and see if you can't go further.