Relationship 101

When you start a relationship, you set its foundation. How good it is and how long it lasts depend on how strong that foundation is. Be wise, and use these rocks.

A house is built on a solid foundation. Do it any other way, and it will crumble at any moment. It might be tomorrow, or it might be three years from now. Either way, it won’t last as long as it could have had you built it correctly. You must start a relationship the same way you start building a house.

A relationship is a house.

Your actions and her actions are the beams. Your thoughts and her thoughts are the architecture. The feelings between you two are the interior. As the house is taking form, give it a firm foundation to stand on with strong materials.

Here are six ways to ensure that the foundation is solid.

Expect women to remember everything you tell them. If they get conflicting information, it inevitably causes friction, so be mindful and congruent with what you share.

This is a little darker than most of my articles. My intent is to educate why it’s vital to control the information flow coming to and from women you're romantically involved with. Whether you’re new to getting girls, are experienced, want a monogamous long-term relationship, desire one-night stands, or prefer to date many women at once, it’s beneficial to manage the information that you share and convey.

Just to be clear, I am a HUGE fan of being open, honest, and upfront with women, and I do not condone lying. Our greatest mission as responsible men is to avoid hurting a girl, which can lead to many problems. Instead, our mission is to understand what we want with the opposite sex, and what women want from men, and to meet in the middle. We want to have fun together and experience a healthy relationship, doing our best to minimize emotional pain in the process.

However, women have superpowers when it comes to understanding men that many of us simply don’t have. They are masters at understanding social dynamics. Part of the reason all women are so good at this is that they’re masters at acquiring and processing different pieces of information very quickly.

So, as intelligent guys who are the leaders of women in the mating game, it’s our job to manage the flow of information to our women for their sanity as well as our own. Information control is related to frame control. What you tell and reveal to her influences the way she sees and values you, and how she executes her relationship with you.

The best information you can give her is inherently valuable to the type of man women are looking for: confident, dominant, attractive, sought after, healthy, masculine, passionate, among many other traits.

This Yuletide season, at a time of family, let's talk about maintaining a firm, guiding hand on your own relationships, so they do not slip away from you.

Because that is more difficult to do in our day than it has been at many points in history.

First off, let's address this: being 'controlling' in any sort of direct, overt way is completely forbidden in the modern West.

You aren't allowed to be controlling with friends. You aren't allowed to be controlling with employees. You aren't allowed to be controlling with children. And you especially are not allowed to be controlling with women.

Controlling women in any way is viewed at a societal level as the turf of weak, jealous, insecure men, who are unable to inspire devotion, and instead must use coercion.

Being 'controlling' is the domain of uneducated roughnecks, red necks, and ghetto hoods who lack the ability to communicate or empathize, who don't respect women, and who are, or inevitably will be, 'abusers'.

This article is not really about that kind of jealous, insecure attempt to control. Instead, it is about how to manage your girlfriend or wife in a way she benefits from and responds to, that makes your relationship healthier, and that meanwhile attracts as little social opprobrium as possible.

Editor's note: After taking in this informative article, make sure to check out Varoon's Holiday Dating Tips to help you navigate the season's turbulent dating landscape!

The December breakup bash is upon us! Will your fling survive the holidays, or will your halls be decked with boughs of broken hearts? And if the latter, what then?

As the seasons change, and a year passes by, mating opportunities also shift in waves. There’s a guy’s skill in getting women (which we teach here on Girls Chase), which is beneficial at any time of the year. Then there are the opportunities created by women around these men that follow shifts in seasons. After all, there must be women looking for things to happen, and men with the ability to make those things happen by taking the opportunity and applying skills so they can get together and have sex.

The possibility of a girl’s relationship with a guy determines female availability. Once she is in a relationship, she’s continually evaluating whether the man is still the same powerful and attractive man he was when she picked him. The cycle of evaluation never stops, and women are always considering whether they’ve got the best deal with a guy, or if someone else out there might be better. There are certain times of the year when girls are more prone to evaluate a man and their relationship with extreme scrutiny.

The highest evaluation period is around mid-November to mid-December.

As a result of this evaluation, December 11th turns out to be the biggest breakup day of the year, and it even exceeds breakups before and after Valentine’s Day. We can see this trend in the media:

• Beware: December 11 is the biggest break-up day of the year
• This Is Why You’re Most Likely To Break-Up On December 11th
• Hold on to Your Relationships: It's Officially "Breakup Season"
• PEAK TIME OF YEAR FOR BREAK-UPS

And check out this graphic, which shows how breakups transpire through the course of a typical year.

In most links above, statisticians studied Facebook to analyze breakups from relationship status updates. They found that the most common date is for getting dumped is December 11th, roughly two weeks before Christmas. Data from Match.com shows that the peak sign-up period is Christmas Day. In the second half of December, many men and women put themselves back in the marketplace.

As you can see, the two biggest breakup windows through the year are right after Valentine’s Day through the “spring break” period in late March. There’s a higher spike at the end of the year starting at roughly late October, peaking on December 11th.

December 11th is the biggest breakup day of the year, and we’ll look at many reasons why couples are likely to separate then.

I had a chat the other day with a friend who'd caught his long-time girlfriend in a big lie.

She had promised him before she would not lie to him about the thing.

Well, she did lie.

And my friend wasn't sure how to deal with it.

He's an easygoing guy. And his natural inclination was to be understanding, and not make it a huge deal.

Even though it was, in essence, a pretty important deal.

On the other hand, he also realized if he let his girlfriend's lie slide, it'd be the wrong call... and he'd only be kicking the can down the road to deal with later (possibly in a worse way).

When we talked, he'd made his mind up to angrily confront her. He'd confront her, summon up some fiery anger, tell her caught her lying, and put the fear of God in her. That was the plan. She had to feel she'd done wrong.

He knew he had to enforce some kind of stricture here, or else his girlfriend would run wild.

And yet... he felt the plan was off.

He just didn't know what else to do.

Every problem, bit of drama, suffering, torment, or heartache in a relationship is necessary... because people date the people they need to date.

I have a pretty good track record predicting how relationships will turn out.

I can tell, fairly reliably (though I'm sometimes wrong... but not a lot) how a partnership will go after a short time around a couple.

It used to aggravate me, some years ago, how when I'd identify an obviously troubled partnership, no one would listen to me and end the thing before it grew worse.

Time and again, dire warnings to friends of how their relationships would turn out came true.

And still, no one listened.

Yet, these days, people disregarding my advice doesn't aggravate me anymore.

If I see someone headed into an obviously troubled relationship, I will warn him off it.

However, if he chooses to pursue it, it no longer bothers me. I'm not a busybody... what someone is doing with his own life isn't my business, unless he wants my input. I usually won't stay as close with a guy going into a troubled relationship against my advice, because of how troubled relationships tend to affect people (i.e., they turn most folks into needy, emotional messes who bog down everyone around them... and it's not my calling in life to be a shoulder to cry on, nor is it a role anyone would want me in anyway. Really, you are better off not having Chase in that role).

Over time, my understanding of why people date the people they do (as well as do the other things they do) has changed.

I stopped viewing people's choices in mates -- even choices that hurt them, and lead them to suffer -- as 'right' or 'wrong' for them.

Instead, now I look at a partnership and say, "What about this partnership makes it what this person engaging in it needs?"

Because that is the real kicker: people only have the relationships they need to have.

The more you learn to look at relationships as people with exactly the people they needed to be with right then, the more even the very troubled relationships you see start to make a lot more sense.

Looking for some sexy things to do with your girlfriend? These mind-bending, juice-inducing sex tips will ramp things up in bed and make sex with you an addiction.

Today I’ll share a handful of sexual things to do with your girlfriend to make sex more fulfilling.

It’s not enough to learn how to approach, escalate, charm, and seduce women. You want to be a great lover and make their pussies quiver whenever they think of you. You want them addicted to you. And once they become addicted, they start to love you. Once a woman loves you, she’s yours forever (at least in heart, if not body).

Most guys are terrible lovers. They’re clueless. All they do is thrust and grunt from three positions and bust a load before she's fully stimulated.

It’s okay to be selfish in bed sometimes, because women are highly turned on by dominance. But for the most part, sex should be a creative experience, like putting on a magic show. So lean back, turn off your anime girlfriend simulators and allow me to teach you the ways of lovemanship.

Note, these aren’t only sexual things but also ways of being that make sex more satisfying for everyone involved.

I’ll separate this article into two sections: psychology and application.