If you want a second chance in dating, you'll have to convince your date to give you one, first… Fortunately, that's often easier to do than you might think.Who says there's no second chances in dating?
I just coached a guy through a situation where he's encountering a lot of "I'm just not feeling it" and "we just don't have chemistry" objections from women.
After 30, is it time to hang up your dating spurs? Not quite (well, unless you're married). In fact, if you're a guy, your thirties are the best time to date you'll get.Dating in your thirties: if you learn cold approach and seduction, it’s absolutely the best time you’ll have in your dating life.
That’s considering you’re still single and not married with kids yet.
If you are, I’m sorry. ;)
Many of my clients in their late thirties are already divorced. They’ve spent a good chunk of their life in a monogamous relationship, and now they’re single again, lacking that skill that most young men develop: game.
Every time I go to a men’s forum, a pickup or seduction group, or Reddit, some dude is asking if it’s “too late” for him.
“I’m 27, is it too late to learn game?”
“I’m 25, is it over?”
“I’m 32, am I done?”
Let me share an anecdote about age.
All through my teens and twenties, I was horribly shy around women. I wanted to have a hot girlfriend, but if I managed to weasel my way sideways into a conversation with one, I’d have a panic attack.
I don’t mean a little bit of shyness or nerves. I’d have a full-blown, huff and puff, blow my house down, panic attack. It was absurd, embarrassing, and I hated it.
Anyone who suffers from social anxiety knows it’s not a logical process. Being told to “just be confident” or “just be yourself” doesn’t work, not when the mere thought of talking to a girl sends your heart racing. Yeah, I’ll just be myself, a quaking mess that can’t form vowels and consonants.
How do you send a woman video messages that draw her in and get a response? There's a science to it… and it includes what you weave into the message, as well as the tone.Hey guys, and welcome to part 2 of my two-part series on video messaging.
You can read Part 1 (on why video messaging girls is so powerful) here.
This will be the final article that will cover some practical guidelines on how to deliver the best video message ever.
Last week I shared with you my backstory and my failures when it came to texting my way to a date. This curse was finally broken once I started sending video messages instead – I saw an immediate big change, with girls either responding right away or at least sending a video response back (higher investment from her end). All my video messaging has translated into dates.
Last week, we covered all the reasons why one should opt for video messaging instead of texting (if possible). Some of the main reasons we listed were the following:
Video messaging allows her to see you, your look, your vibe, your body language and so on. It also allows you to speak more freely, which is good if you are a verbose guy like me. But the most important thing is that you get to remind her of who you are and how you made her feel – triggering anchors that may put her back into the mood she was in when she initially met you. Very important.
It allows you to catch her attention when you are competing with tons of other guys trying to reach her. It is also low-pressure, unlike phone calls.
It shows balls and confidence.
If she responds with a video message herself you can see her, her vibe, her reaction and so on. This gives you key information to calibrate to.
We covered many more reasons in last week’s post, so consider checking it out. Today we get more into the practical realm on how to deliver proper video messages.
Girls may not always respond when you text. And many girls are too shy to answer phone calls. The ideal alternative? Leave women VIDEO messages.Hey guys and welcome back.
Today’s post won’t be specific to COVID-19 (as I write this, the pandemic has taken over the world – sadly). However, what I will go over is relevant to our times.
I’m going to discuss an alternative to texting.
Digital communication is becoming the norm these days; with tons of options, but also plenty of limitations.
And I believe video messages to be the best way to interact with girls in this era of technological communication. I‘ll explain why I believe this form of communication to be WAY superior to other forms (texting in particular). Next week I’ll give you some guidelines on how I use video messaging.
Before getting into it, I will share a background story. I have been into seduction for years and have specialized in night game cold approach pickup. Ninety-percent or more of my lays have taken place on the same day or night when meeting girls.
There are several reasons why this is better than taking her contact details and going for a date at another time:
When you’re in front of her you have the most influence on her emotional state. Your presence can help you control the interaction and generate emotional spikes. When you’re away from her you have the least influence on her state.
The context in which you meet her affects her mood, hence her level of compliance to you. In a different setting – such as the day after, at her home – she will be in a different emotional space, and so may be less compliant.
You usually pull from the compliance you create when you meet her. You ride the spontaneous emotional spike you created that same night. When she leaves you that initial compliance spike may be forgotten.
When it comes to one-night stands, it is often easiest to get the girl on the same night you meet her. This has the highest success rate. Once you leave her, you are no longer in control of the interaction, or of her mood. It may fade, and you may lose your chances.
That’s why guys experience girls flaking or “vanishing” despite having initially had a good interaction with a girl. Personal contact info exchanged during night game is the least likely to result in a second meet-up. It is better in day game, although she may still flake, so same-day lays are also a great strategy.
After you gave it your all in a long interaction with a girl, you might be tired out. Yet she might want things to keep going, and be disappointed if they don't. What do you do?Remember that one guy back in high school who always finished tasks before you? He got a kick out of beating everyone else to the punch, and you were left feeling inadequate because you didn’t do them as well?
In life, this happens all the time.
Here’s someone doing something you’ve never heard of before, doing it perfectly, and there’s another doing something different, also perfectly.
You end up looking at yourself, thinking, “Hey, what the hell, what are you doing right now, eating some chips, come on!”
So it is only natural when you look around a club or the street, and you see everything happening that you haven’t done before, and you get that same feeling.
You have to learn to relax that anxiety and start to look at the situation differently if you want to progress.
Sometimes you make a move on a girl and she hits you with "let's just be friends." Yet just because you got one LJBF doesn't mean you're out of the running…You make a move on a girl or ask her out.
She looks you firm in the eyes, aaaaand... "I thought we could just be friends!" she tells you.
Just like that, the wind has sucked all the way out of your sails.
I guess you have to just be friends with her now.
...
...
...
I'm kidding. What point is there to that?
You're talking to her because you want her. Either to date her or to have a fun roll in the hay with her.
When she puts the "let's just be friends" (LJBF) frame on you, you're faced with several options... but not all these options are created equal.
You can use phone calls (yes, phone calls!) to reward women for good behavior – like good vibes and happy dates… but don't call when she's been naughty…Phone calls are totally old school and no one ever uses them anymore. Right?
Well, the truth is men have always avoided phone calls as much as and wherever possible.
Back when texting wasn't all that popular and no one had messenger apps on his phone, guys still didn't like to make phone calls. They're nerve-wracking, higher pressure, and you can't sit and think about what you want to say -- it's all happening in real time.
Yet men who learned to use them then discovered phone calls were an almost magical way to bolster good connections with girls, repair frayed ones, and get out onto dates women who wouldn't otherwise have come.
And believe it or not, in the age of furious thumbs tapping out multitudinous messages, they still do.
On the forums, guys have repeatedly noted they tried calling girls (despite thinking it was out-of-date) and were amazed how well it went. Young women whom nobody ever calls, ever, get calls from guys and the calls go great and they lead to dates and hookups.
But this article isn't about whether to use phone calls or not use phone calls.
Instead, it's for that elite subset of men among you who already use them.
And the focus here is on how to reward with phone calls... or punish with their lack.
If you're trapped under lockdown, what can you do? Well, one thing you can do is go through all those old leads in your phone… and start pinging.
Hey guys. Welcome back to my series on dealing with COVID-19 as a seducer.
(For future readers who may be reading this once this hell of a pandemic has passed: this article focuses on pinging girls during the pandemic but still contains useful advice on pinging old leads).
We find ourselves in September, and the prognosis is sadly not looking much better. There seems to be no end to this nightmare. If you feel that way, then rest assured, you are not alone. I am also very fed up with this situation. I sometimes dream of 2019, the good times, memories, amazing people, and the adventures from the field. It all feels like a distant past.
It is a horrible time to live in. 2020 sucks.
As our freedoms are on hold (hopefully not forever), we feel existential anxiety. That said, we still have a choice:
Rant and feel bad about it
Try to do the best with what we have
Or both (my case)
Anyway, this was my usual COVID-19 rant. Now let’s get on with today’s topic.
Today I want to discuss a subject that should have covered earlier: pinging old leads.
There is a solution I have seen discussed on pickup forums like skilledseducer.com and within my circles.
In this post, I will discuss the pros and cons of this solution, and give you my tips on doing it the best way.
This COVID pandemic has thrown a massive wrench in the dating game. In lockdown, meeting women is much harder, if not impossible. So, should you even bother right now?
Hey guys, and welcome back. I’ve recently shared a few guides and opinions on the COVID-19 pandemic and how it affects pickup and seduction.
If you'd like to catch up on those, here they are:
Contents
I know we live in frustrating times; and I will not hide it, I find these times frustrating, too. But I keep a cool head and carry on, trying to figure out ways to maintain my lifestyle.
Things will eventually get back to normal; when is the real question. I am not going to sit back and wait, though I admit, I am not as active as I usually am with my pickup and seduction hobby. So I do what I can to maintain my skills and keep some female company as I believe this to be healthy. Having girls around is healthy for my brain, especially these days when everybody seems to have lost their minds.
I know some of you are still questioning whether one should still bother with seduction at all during these times. This question is what I’ll cover in today’s post.
How do you know whether you’re dating a woman or just hooking up? It’s hard to tell sometimes, and this confusion can really foul up whatever it is you have going on.
Dating a woman in 2020 can be confusing. With the popularity of hookup apps, dating sites, and even cold approach, combined with a sexually liberal culture, who’s to know when you’re actually dating versus just hooking up?
You’d think it's always the man who aims for a hookup. But it’s not always like that. I remember when I lost my virginity at the sweet age of 15. She was 17 and had these mega-yummy huge bazoingas. For some reason, she decided we had to bang and dragged me off to her seduction location.
Following my first sexual encounter, I was ecstatic. Now I finally had a girlfriend, I figured, imagining all the sex and good times I was going to have with her. But she had different ideas. The more I pursued her, the less I heard from her. This was before texting, so she just didn’t answer the phone or return voice messages.
After a few weeks, I got the hint. She didn’t want a boyfriend. She just wanted to have a hookup. It was disappointing because I didn’t know when I’d ever get another girl, but that’s life. After she slept with me, she did half the guys in town. She just loved sex — or hated her dad.
Some women will want a relationship, and others will just want a good time. When you’re inexperienced, telling the difference can be tough. So in this guide, I’m going to help you out.
