Why do people ghost? Sometimes it’s because of them… but sometimes it’s because of you. We look at the whys, plus what you can do to avoid getting ghosted.Last time, we looked at the statistics of who ghosts on whom.
Who gets ghosted on more, men or women? This ghosting study teased out the details of who ghosts on whom between American men and women in 2021.Girls Chase ran a survey to find out who gets ghosted the most: men or women?
We looked at all ages and both sexes across the United States. And we also asked: how often do people turn their ghosts around -- and what's the outcome when they do?
This article presents the results from the poll... plus some tips on what you can do to reduce the odds you get ghosted (and turn things around if you do).
Women on dating apps use FaceTune to make themselves look like completely different people. If you’ve wondered why your online dates don’t look like their pics, FaceTune is part of it.For years I've told men to get off social media and limit their exposure to online dating (it is okay to use it, but it should only be a supplement, never the main course).
Nevertheless, we get guys pouring in who continue to ask the same questions again and again:
"How can I be really HOT on social media and build a huge following?"
"What do I need to do to CLEAN UP in online dating?"
"Can you use social media to set up lots of dates & get laid?"
"Why don't you guys cover more online dating tips? Meeting people in-person is so 2000s!"
But of course, get guys to be honest with you about the results they get from online dating and social media and they will admit they're let down by most of their matches.
15 years ago you could do online dating and sometimes get catfished by some chick who showed up 100 lbs. heavier than her photograph or mysteriously way uglier than she looked in her pictures. It happened to me a few times.
But if you knew what to look for, you could generally tell; fat girls have their ways of hiding fat in their photos, which girls who aren't fat don't need to turn to. Ugly girls use angles and lighting to fool the eye, while good-looking girls simply take normal pictures all straight-on. So you could just keep an eye out for 'fat girl angles' and 'ugly girl tricks' and avoid any girl whose pictures consisted of nothing but those, and you'd almost never get catfished.
Now, though, it's an epidemic, with women showing up in-person who look nothing like what they do online. What's the cause?
Based on my discussion with a few friends recently, the cause seems to be a very specific one: an app that's been on the market for years, but has gradually gone from being a thing a few women used here and there to touch up their photos a bit, to something every girl online dating in some places will use heavily simply to keep herself in the game.
The name of that app is FaceTune.
The Moon Is Blue is a 1953 film about pick up, seduction, and sex. In it, a playboy picks a girl up and brings her home. Another player tries to seduce her first, and fascinating things ensue.The Moon Is Blue is a delightful 1953 film about seduction, based on a German play translated in 1951 to English and staged on Broadway.
It begins with a day game out-shopping pickup. Donald Gresham (played by William Holden, who has a habit of playing the moody seducer types) receives an approach invitation from Patty O'Neill (played by the charming Maggie McNamara), but fails to approach after she backturns him and walks away.
When he spots her eying him a second time a few moments later, he realizes she's definitely into him and he'd better chase her down to make his approach. So chase her down he does.
This entire film is about pickup, seduction, and male and female dynamics. The words 'pick up', 'seduce', and 'seducer' appear throughout its runtime.
If you like film examples of seductions, or you're interested in seduction dynamics, you're almost certain to like this film.
What's it take to succeed at online dating? A simple opener. Concise messages. Movement toward the date. Plus 4 other crucial steps.Hey guys, welcome back!
In this follow-up to my original article, I’ll discuss how to make online game work for you.
If:
You’re practicing cold approach but can’t figure out how to fit online game into meeting women
You’ve tried online but didn’t achieve much success
this article is for you.
Plan a date together, before you leave her side, to raise the odds she shows up for it later. Use a few date-maximizing tricks to stack things in your favor.Usually when we talk about how to ask a girl out, I tell you to keep it as simple as possible:
The reason is because in general I think the simpler your processes are, while still being effective, they easier they are to learn, the easier they are to remember, and the easier they are to stick to when there's a lot of other stuff going on.
However, what if you're a more intermediate guy, or advanced?
What if you want another way to reduce flakes and up the odds girls show up on dates with you?
Enter joint date planning, a surefire method to slash your flakes and up your date turnout.
Best of all, it's not something you need to fumble your thumbs with doing over messages -- you'll do it right there in person with the girl when you meet her, before you ever leave her side.
Guys share their stories of getting together with their friend zone friends after 10 or more years. You’ll be misty-eyed and your heart will be warmed.There's a heartwarming thread on Reddit where a bunch of nice guys share their friend zone success stories.
"I finally married the girl I've been friends with for over 10 years!" the lead post exclaims.
The lucky bridegroom shared a photograph of himself and the girl he finally netted after 10 long years (image to the right).
She embraces him in that manly way, cupping his breasts with her hands, as he stands butt-to-crotch with his back arched and his head cast back, gazing at her over his shoulder in a high effort "I'm doing more work to look at you than you are at me" sort of fashion.
Cheered on by this gleeful friend-getter's example, other men swiftly piled in to share their own good fortunes:
It is 100% possible to escape the friendzone.
I am currently in a relationship like that. Years and years invested into our friendship. And things finally worked out. And now we're planning our wedding.
You are a fucking rockstar OP. Absolute legend.
There's nothing quite so legendary as toughing it out in the friend zone for a decade before you finally get some. This is the stuff heroes are forged from.
Another commentator remarks with helpful advice to the previous one, saying:
This simply means you only thought you were in the friend zone. You can tell that you weren't because you aren't.
Wise words, /u/Aspect-of-Death.
When you think you're in the friend zone, then after years you start dating her, it means you were never in the friend zone all along.
So how does one know if one's truly in the friend zone or not?
Only years or decades of patience can tell you for sure.
Here's another Redditor sharing his happy outcome:
Congrats guys! I married an amazing woman that I had known and been friends with for 16 years. One day something just clicked and we couldn't be more in love.
All it took was 16 years and one day something clicked and she realized she wanted him too.
I wonder what clicked?
Tired of girls flaking on dates with you? Then it's time to flake-proof your date plans. That is: make it so flakes no longer affect your life (or dating).I know what you're thinking: "Is Chase about to tell me how to set up dates women will NEVER flake on?"
Well, no... no I'm not.
Sorry to disappoint.
There's no way to totally avoid flakes. They are a natural part of dating life.
However, I'm going to give you the next best thing:
Ways to flake-proof your date plans, that way when girls flake, they don't bug you or inconvenience you beyond the absolute bare minimum.
When a girl flakes on you, get her back by reverse flaking on her. You might not think it'd work – but psychology is weird (and it does work).Over the years I've coached a lot of guys into getting girls out on dates who'd repeatedly flaked on them or ignored their messages.
There's a trick I use with this (credit: BradP) where you flip the frame on a flakey girl, and present yourself as the flaker and her as the flakey.
When I spell it out for you here, you're going to think of course it will never work.
It sounds like something that'd be so obvious no woman would ever fall for it.
Yet, even if she picks up on what you're doing (and not every girl will), it still works.
The effect is still there. She feels the emotions, feels like you flaked on her rather than the reverse, and you feel scarce and in-demand to her.
These emotions make her suddenly much more interested in coming out to meet you.
I've personally typed out messages for friends and students to send using this method that turned girls who were avoiding them into girls willing to come meet up with just a single text.
In this article, I'll tell you how I do that.
Online game is a convenient way to meet more women once you get it to work for you. Here's how to get it working and add it to your new-girl pipeline.In this article, I’ll debunk a few misconceptions about dating apps and online game.
After that, I’ll give you some ways you can use today to quickly start getting better results with girls online.
Let’s start with those misconceptions.
Some guys in the pickup community steer clear of online dating apps.
The reasons largely boil down to:
#1. It doesn’t work/it’s a scam
#2. It works for some guys but won’t work for me because of (insert excuse)
#3. It’s too much work
#4. It’s “cheating”
However, I can tell you with confidence that these reasons are nonsense.
Let’s explore them one by one.
