In our fourth article, we discussed how to maintain sexual tension
between you and your girl. This article will focus on how you can
maintain the sexual tension in light of social context – that is, how
to deal with “wildcards” when you are experiencing sexual tension.
Today I will divulge what I know about how to deal with social
factors
that can interfere with sexual tension, including her friends and the
social world.
Party girls are fun, but can be real handfuls. Want to date one
anyway? Here’s everything you need to pull it off… As well as can be
expected.
While I was visiting my hometown after a long tour through Europe, I
decided to hit up an ex-girlfriend. Since our sex was always great, we
stayed friends after multiple breakups... and she was bisexual, so I
decided that we should set up a threesome together. We’d done it before
and it was hella fun, so why not again?
We spent the next week matching with girls on Tinder and contacting
anyone we knew. We had a few YESs, but they fell through for some
reason or another. It was around the holidays, so most girls who were
down were going to be out of town and wouldn’t get back until after I’d
already gotten out of Dodge. I personally had a lot of “I like you but
I don’t want to share you” messages. Those were nice.
We meet up, shag a few times, drink a bit, then head out to the
bars. We talk to a few girls and both make out with some (and almost
pull), but half way through our second pull attempt, she starts getting
super aggressive with the girl. If it was a guy doing it, he’d be
considered creepy, but she’s a hot girl, so it’s more funny than
anything.
After this scene, I watch her stumble up to random girls and get
totally blown out. She comes back to me, defeated.
“That girl totally ignored you, chica.”
“Yeah, she’s a bitch.”
“Haha, oh really? Well guess what – welcome to my world. This is how
guys get laid.”
The 5-second kiss lets you kiss her as soon as you meet her. It’s
fun,
it’s quick, and it starts things off with a bang (or a smooch).
This is a fairly niche tactic. But it’s still worth knowing (and
still fun).
The way the 5-second kiss works is this: you see a girl, beckon her
over or pull her over to you, draw her in, and kiss her. And you do so
in about five seconds.
You can use this in bars and nightclubs, on the street during the
day, or anywhere. Here’s the catch: it only works on girls who are ‘in
the mood’ for it, and it only works when you are ‘in the mood’.
The reason you’d do this is for a fun start to an interaction, to
break up an otherwise monotonous outing for yourself, or just to feel
more ‘alive’ when you’re out at the bar (or wherever). Also, if you’ve
never done this, it’s worth doing once, due to the
limitation-shattering it provides.
This is not necessarily something you will do to raise your odds of
success with the girl in particular you use it with. Though it can
sometimes lead to a hookup.
Instead, this is something you use for the pleasure of it, the
momentum of it, or to let yourself see what you can do.
If things aren’t going right, it’s easy to stress out and panic
with a
girl. But to succeed with her, you must remain level headed.
This is one of the more difficult topics to write about, because
it’s one hard to not have folks adopt an extreme position on. People
(though surely not you, Dear Reader) read
stuff on the Internet and adopt extreme positions all the time,
because it’s hard to judge context from words on a screen. No tone, no
subtext.
One example of this is the mantra move faster.
Most men don’t move anywhere near fast enough most parts of their
courtships. And pretty much every guy could stand to move faster on something. Yet not every guy takes
this advice the right way. Some hear “move faster” and start to rush
themselves (which you shouldn’t do).
Other men hear “move faster” and speed up parts of their courtships
they already move plenty fast on, while they ignore the areas most in
need of acceleration. Maybe a guy runs his interactions up to the point
of the phone number exchange at a
perfect speed,
but then on his dates he takes way too long. So he decides to speed up
his early interactions to try to get phone numbers even faster, while
hardly tweaking his date speed... the end result being he messes up the
part he had right, while failing to improve on the part he had wrong.
Obviously, we don’t want you doing stuff like this, where you fix
what isn’t broken and leave broken what is.
So today, I want to talk about the “I’ve got to get to X!” reaction.
This reaction gets into your head and pushes you
to find a way to make X – whatever X is – happen as fast as possible.
Often X is sex, as in, “Come on, I’ve got to kill this boring
conversation before she loses interest and get this girl to sex!”
The cautionary note is going to be this: we need to get you
to continue to move things forward toward
sex, without having you completely hung up on trying to figure out how
to make forward progress
toward sex.
The objective here is not to strip you of the goal of “sleep with this
girl” and get you into some kind of aimless “just talk to girls and
feel good” mindset. You will still have the aim of bedding girls.
Rather, the objective of this essay is to get you to realize
unhelpful thoughts mid-seduction, and turn them in a more productive
direction.
Zan Perrion’s book The Alabaster Girl contains masterful philosophy on women. Here are 5 of its most stand-out points.
There is a beast in this world who walks around in the form of a man.
He doesn’t advertise himself too much, but he has been a constant yet subtle presence ever since the seduction community came out of the basement. This subtlety and grace speaks even more to his level of mastery.
He has been dedicated not to fame, glory, or riches (all of which he deserves), but to his passion: to be the greatest lover of women the world has ever seen.
His name... is Zan Perrion.
And if you navigate the treasure room that is his book,
The Alabaster Girl, you will quickly discover that he is in contention for the title he seeks.
When you first encounter the flow of Zan’s prose in The Alabaster Girl, you may think you’ve stumbled upon an 18th century poet’s lost writings.
This is a mistake, and one he addresses in his videos about the book (and if you have trouble understanding his sometimes-cryptic language, especially if you’re still inexperienced, these videos will help clarify his thoughts):
Zan is anything but a hopeless romantic. If you’re experienced with women, you will see how the dark truths of male and female sexuality tinge the edges of each page and fill his flowery prose with rustic realism. He will say something so nonchalantly that if you simply gloss over it, you’ll miss how darkly beautiful it is, and how true.
Or, if you’re familiar with his old mASF forum postings, you will know personally how much of a scoundrel he is (a charge he accepts in the opening pages of his book). Eighty-nine lays in one year, cuckolding Johnny Depp in a nightclub, dating and living with two girls who are best friends... he is no saint, and that’s why he knows women and truly loves them. He embraces both the darkness and the light of the world, both of the masculine and the feminine.
Once you get to the chapter on his early childhood, you will understand. You will know his grit, his darkness, and therefore the true breadth of his light, because of that darkness.
And you will know his deep, abiding love for women. Reading of his longing for women was like reading my own confessions of unconditional love toward women.
I could write an entire book on what I learned from his book, but we’re going limit this post to the first five secrets that resonated with me upon my now third reading.
“What kind of girl and where to find it?
Now what I want is a girl who isn’t too keen on working or a career,
because: 1) I don’t see myself changing diapers or nurturing babies and
little children except on rare necessary occasions, 2) if she’s gonna
do all that with seven or more kids, keep the house tidy, and put food
on the table, she obviously has to not work. Basically I’d just do the
providing and the steering of the ship, and she’d take care of the
nurturing and keeping the ship tidy.
But besides wanting the girl to be markedly younger than I am and
be somewhat malleable and a follower (at least to me), I still don’t
have a clear picture for what kind of girl to look for for that role.
Do I cradle-rob one from high school? Or take a high school dropout
because I’ll be sure she won’t want a career? But at the same time,
isn’t it better to have a mother with some academic literacy to keep up
with the kids’ education? Your thoughts on this one would be much
appreciated.”
So, today, we’ll be talking about picking a wife.
I will kick off by recommending you always have you wife-screening
(or, alternately, mother-of-my-children screening) default to ‘on’. The
chief two reasons are to not miss
great girls, and to not get trapped by the wrong girls.
Getting trapped is what happens to most men who don’t default to
‘on’ with their wife-screening. Which is the majority of men. Most men
say, “Ah, I’ll never get married,” or, “Maybe I’ll get married, but it
won’t be until years and years from now,” and then they meet a girl
they kind of dig, date her for a while, and marry her (see: “Why People Settle Down: The 3-Step Settling
Curve”). All the while they’ve never actually screened her,
and she may not be a good fit for marriage with them (or marriage with
anyone).
Missing great girls is what happens when a guy meets a girl he
clicks with, but fails to realize what a find she is because he doesn’t
screen her right away, and so doesn’t push as hard as he could have to
be with her, and ultimately doesn’t get her. She might’ve been the
perfect wife for you (or at least a top flight girlfriend), but some
other guy gets to date her now because you let her go too easily.
If your heart is twisted up in knots and you’re screaming, “No
Chase! I never want to be married! Don’t say it!”, well, I urge you to
read on anyway. Forewarned is forearmed. And you might just find you’re
less likely to fall into a marriage than most men who swear they don’t
want it and will never do it (the majority of whom eventually marry
despite their protests – though, because they are unprepared for it,
their marriages tend to be much more on the girls’ terms instead of on
their own).
As you may know, I am currently writing a series on sexual tension.
This is the 4th post so far, and I really recommend you check out the
previous posts before reading this one. But even if you don’t, you’ll
still find this post very useful on its own.
Previously we have discussed:
The theoretical groundwork of what sexual tension is (part 1)
How to maintain sexual tension by increasing the actual tension (part 3)
In this post, we will discuss maintaining the tension by focusing on
building comfort with the girl you are experiencing sexual tension
with. Previously we discussed how women tend to release sexual tension
because of a low level of comfort compared to the level of tension. The
solution proposed was to increase the tension so high that she lets go
of her discomfort.
Today we will focus on increasing the comfort level. If you can
manage both the tension parameter and the comfort parameter, you are
technically in full control!
In this episode of Dating Mechanics, I talk with Dr. David Tian, PhD
holder, founder of Aura Dating Academy, and good friend of our own
Chase Amante for over 10 years.
Phone sex isn’t just a great deal of fun, it makes getting actual
sex with her easier, too. These 10 steps let you give her the best
phone sex of her life.
Do you ever use phone sex?
Don’t laugh if it sounds cheesy at first. “It’s not real sex”, I
know.
But here’s the thing: phone sex has a lot of uses. And one of them
is to make dates fly by with girls you haven’t had sex with yet, and
make that actual penis-in-vagina sex happen a whole lot faster with far
fewer roadblocks.
In this article, I’m going to tell you exactly how to pull phone sex
off. And I’ll tell you the many uses of it, too.
Aside from that though, I’m also going to give you some real
cautionary notes… Because just as phone sex can speed up her path into
your bed, it can speed up her path into ANOTHER man’s bed instead, if
you use it in the wrong way and at the wrong time.
Due to some of the trickiness of the technique, I recommend this one
only for intermediates on up.
Preface aside, let’s dive into phone sex, see how to use it, what
it’s used for, and some of the things you can do with it.
The word ‘sensitive’ has lost it’s old meaning. It now means
something weak or womanly. But what it used to be was something so much
more.
I think we need to reclaim the word ‘sensitive’.
The word no longer means what it’s supposed to mean.
Somewhere along the line, it grew warped, twisted. Perverted. Now,
if you call a man ‘sensitive’, it’s a backhanded compliment, at best.
You’re calling him a motherly nurturer. At worst, you’re saying he
overreacts, is too emotional, and too womanly.
But it hasn’t always meant this. And in fact, the concept it used
to describe – a concept we no longer have a perfect word for in English
anymore, if we yield ‘sensitive’ completely to too-soft men and guys
who think the friend zone
is the surest path to sexy times – is one every man who wants to do
well socially, romantically, or sexually must ultimately strive to make
use of, or perpetually struggle.
